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Anyone else alone for the holiday weekend?



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Unlike most people in the U.S. who are rushing around getting ready to enjoy this long weekend, I'm kind of dreading it. This weekend marks the 3rd un-anniversary of me ending my last relationship. We weren't married, but we were together seven years, lived together for 6. It was not a pretty break up. It just so happens that all of my friends are out of town this weekend or off doing things with their families, I'm struggling with my new business, so I can't really afford to travel right now and I have no family anywhere remotely nearby.

So, being solitary this long holiday weekend is going to be a bit rough for me. It's particularly tough being a sleever at times like this because I don't want to use food to help ease the pain of the loneliness, which is something I did my whole life and is part of what landed me on the surgical table to begin with. I have some things planned to keep me distracted, the weather is lovely here now, so I'll probably just take my puppy out for some nice long walks and maybe take my bike out. I think holidays are the toughest on us singletons and I think being lonely is one of the hardest things to overcome without resorting to the comfort of food, anyone else feeling that too?

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I know you said money is a bit tight, but do something indulgent for yourself. Maybe a mani/pedi or a massage if the cost is not too dear. How about a book you've wanted to read or a movie you may have wanted to see for a while. Why not binge watch a show you've been meaning to see. It's just about doing something that makes you feel special.

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@@gowalking - I am with you. If there is an opening in my work (rare) and no time to spend with my SO, I am going to knock out a project around the house or binge watch something I have been wanting to watch. Binge watching usually wins ;-)

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Yep, just me and Gucci (my Chinese crested). He's terrified of fireworks, so we will stay close to home.

He and I will go walking along the old RR tracks and take a picnic with us.

Then it will be home to watch the Yankees. Gucci is a loyal fan!

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@@Oak Park Lorena - strangely I have never felt really lonely, though I have been divorced for over 5 years. I took one year off of all relationships following the divorce (deliberate, just to make sure my head was clear). I had a very serious relationship for a couple of years, but figured out why this wasn't the right one. Had a small harem of women who wanted occasional sex, but really didn't want a relationship. And have now found the ONE. Even though many times holidays didn't work out, I knew there would be other opportunities, so I always took holiday time as a great opportunity to do "me stuff." And look, when you still have kids, work and a relationship, "me time" is rare and fun. Even when I was looking, I really enjoyed occasional binge watches and just relaxing and being somewhat irresponsible.

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@@Valentina Chinese Cresteds are so adorable! I have a Frenchton, he's 3/4 French bulldog and 1/4 Boston Terrier. He's white with big spots on his butt like a cow! He's still just a puppy, 7 months old. Had him since he was 8 weeks old. Best decision I ever made!

b3mxyr.jpg

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@@gowalking thanks for the kind advice, you're totally right and it's good to remember that there are loads of non-food things we can reward ourselves with!

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@@OKCPirate well, yes, though the grass is always greener. I'm single, no kids, so "me time" is not much of an issue. I guess we all covet what we don't have!

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@@Valentina Chinese Cresteds are so adorable! I have a Frenchton, he's 3/4 French bulldog and 1/4 Boston Terrier. He's white with big spots on his butt like a cow! He's still just a puppy, 7 months old. Had him since he was 8 weeks old. Best decision I ever made!

b3mxyr.jpg

I was a canine behaviorist for years and have seen the outstanding differences that dogs can make in our lives. You will NEVER find a partner more loyal than a dog.

I'd be absolutely alone and lost without Gucci.

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I am spending the holiday alone, although I have spent most holidays alone as an adult and it doesn't really bother me. This time last year was the first time I had boyfriend on the 4th of July, so I feel a little bummed I guess. Where I am now though in life is so much further along than I was last year and a big part of that was because the relationship didn't work out. I liked the guy, he liked me, but he moved back to where his family lives, mostly because had he stayed with me it would have come at the cost of his trust fund, lol.

This time last summer I was just working on my business, and I had no real goals in life other than to just keep on keepin' on. This year I've finished another degree, I got into a competitive MBA program, and I got into law school, both of which I start in August. In losing my boyfriend, I found my own direction again and while I will spend this weekend alone working, I am very happy keeping company with myself. :)

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@@AvaFern Good for you, congrats on the admissions! I loved every minute of law school, would be happy to be a student forever if that actually paid something! I think there is a big difference between be "alone" and being "lonely." I was married at one point in my life and though I was rarely "alone," I was often lonely. I've also been completely alone in the middle of the desert in the middle of the night and didn't feel lonely at all. I think it is all just where we are in our lives and what it is that we have v. what we want.

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I guess I never feel alone because I have myself. And my self keeps me pretty occupied. I am putting together an off grid solar array system this week. I put all the parts on the table and stare at them, read the instruction manuals, slowly like osmosis all the pieces seem to come together in my mind, and then I put it together and see if it works.

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I'm with ya. I'm 33, but I've been a single parent since I was 21. A few relationships (nothing lasting longer than a year) and a bit of dating, but nothing that I could say was serious (mostly a waste of time). I also just moved from California to Illinois last July so I don't have many friends (work colleagues are the closest thing). My son is visiting his dad in AZ and my parents in CA. He left on June 19 and coming back July 31 (4 days after my surgery). I gotta say, though, I've been enjoying the personal time for the most part, but I do get lonely and bored. I used to prefer to be single, but have been missing companionship lately (even before my son left). I feel rather unattractive at the moment, but I'm hoping the surgery help me find some confidence to pursue dating again. Even my son wants me to date! Says he needs a guy to do stuff with [emoji23]

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@@Oak Park Lorena, There's no way around it, being lonely hurts, especially on "anniversaries." Congratulations on turning to the forum instead of the fridge!

Edited by waterwoman

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