So yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of my brother's death (just one of many holidays ruined for me). I always find myself soul searching and reaching for hope around this time of year so here's today's random ponderings......

I saw a documentary about Gloria Vanderbilt a couple months ago. I only caught the last 1/2 hour of it, but found it very moving. Despite her amazing success in the business/fashion world, her personal life was really quite tragic. Her first husband physically beat her, her next two marriages ended in divorce and her fourth husband died during a heart bypass surgery. Her son committed suicide in front of her when he was just 23 years old by jumping from her 14th floor apartment. She was standing just a few feet away. Her youngest son is Anderson Cooper, a successful journalist for CNN. He was just two years younger than his brother and was interviewed as part of this documentary.

There were two quotes from this show that really struck a chord with me. One was from Gloria...." It's only after you accept that life is a tragedy that you can start to live" and the other from Anderson...."You have to learn to live in the world without knowing the why"......That's the one I am personally working on now.

Anyways, I know this isn't directly WLS related, but I find their strength and success in the face of loss and grief to be inspiring and thought I'd share.

Sending hugs to you, Kindle. I saw the same documentary and have read some of the book. It was very moving. I am glad you found inspiration and solace from it.

What's the name of the show

Sent from my SM-G530T1 using the BariatricPal App

I am sorry about the loss of your brother.

Try to stay strong and positive; sending you a virtual hug and hope you have a great day.

@@Kindle , thank you.

I haven't seen the movie either. I'll put it on my list.

Here's a link about the film (with information and a trailer) on HBO.com:

http://www.hbo.com/documentaries/nothing-left-unsaid-gloria-vanderbilt-and-anderson-cooper/index.html

Thanks for sharing Kindle. Some years after my 39 year old husband passed suddenly, I began to truly realize the definition of being a grown up. It's when you really start to understand that life is not always fair. {{hugs}} to you.

@@Kindle - Thanks for sharing. Well said.

Thanks for sharing Kindle. Some years after my 39 year old husband passed suddenly, I began to truly realize the definition of being a grown up. It's when you really start to understand that life is not always fair. {{hugs}} to you.

You're right. Being a grownup sucks. I was reminiscing with a college friend several months ago about how much fun we had when we were young and stupid. I remember telling her it's too bad we had to grow up because now I know too much to ever be happy again.

Thanks for sharing Kindle. Some years after my 39 year old husband passed suddenly, I began to truly realize the definition of being a grown up. It's when you really start to understand that life is not always fair. {{hugs}} to you.

You're right. Being a grownup sucks. I was reminiscing with a college friend several months ago about how much fun we had when we were young and stupid. I remember telling her it's too bad we had to grow up because now I know too much to ever be happy again.

Kindle - I will respectfully disagree with you there. I have had periods of time that I thought all chances of happiness were gone...and I still struggle with that at times (damn inherited brain chemistry). But the last year has taught me just how much life can turn around in unexpected ways.

Out of the blue, my Significant Other and I found each other. The happiness I feel when I am with her brings tears to my eyes as I write this. There is a new measure of joy I never new existed. I am finding this at 53 (I was married to one woman for 21 years, so I fairly stable, just saying). So don't write off happiness. It can pop up when you least expect it. Not trying to fill you up with a bunch of crap, just sharing my experience.

A theme I am learning this month: acceptance doesn't mean I like or approve of what's happening. It just means I'm not fighting against reality. I accept that what is, is. I can only control my response.

Thank you for your thoughtful post. Hugs to you at this sad time.

JustWatchMe

Thanks for sharing Kindle. Some years after my 39 year old husband passed suddenly, I began to truly realize the definition of being a grown up. It's when you really start to understand that life is not always fair. {{hugs}} to you.

You're right. Being a grownup sucks. I was reminiscing with a college friend several months ago about how much fun we had when we were young and stupid. I remember telling her it's too bad we had to grow up because now I know too much to ever be happy again.

I know your story and how much loss you have endured. You may never find 'big happy' again so try to look for 'little happy' moments instead. Appreciate a beautiful sunset...give thanks for a good day even if it's just an ordinary one. Ordinary is good when one experiences so much tragedy. Hold a baby. Smile at something that strikes you as funny. Do something that makes you feel good even if it's indulgent. Especially if it's indulgent. One step at a time my dear...one step at a time.

You never know what plans God has for you. I left home when I was 17 with a man I thought I love but in reality I was just running away. After being married to him for 3yrs I got pregnant and I was so excited but he wasn't. So he filed for divorce. I went back to highschool and I was going to raise my baby by myself. Sadly tragedy struck when I was full term and my sweet baby girl passed away. I didn't understand why. Why God would take my baby from me. But now as I am old I am on several angel mom groups. There to support other that has lost their sweet baby.

Like my weight. I was not always this big. I had to have a hysterectomy at 26 and I started gaining the weight and I could never get it off. Now I have health problems and lucky I have insurance that pays 100%.

The reason I want on this group is for support from others that has already had the surgery. God know I really need the support. Don't get me wrong I have support from my husband and children but I would like to have support from people that has been through what I am about to go through.

Thank you for your time and God Bless.

Twyla

Sent from my N9518 using the BariatricPal App

So sorry, maybe a good counselor could help. It helps me when I get down