DeLarla

Hi everyone. I'm not participating in the summer loss thing but I got lonely so I'm just here invading. Vera, you should post that hottie body on the picture page so us non-participants coulda seen it. Glad I stopped by! That's hysterical.

For me, a food high is when all the bad goes away, all thoughts, emotions, feelings. Like taking a downer or Valium. Food makes it all go away, albeit only temporarily. You crave, want, yearn & can't stop thinking about the food that's going to be eaten soon. Waiting in line forever at the drive through, desperate for the "ding" to go off announcing the pizza is coming out of the oven, pacing, checking the time, eating anything handy while waiting. Then taking that food into a safe place and sitting and just eating, no more worries, no world, no trouble, no husband, job, insanity... deep sign, everything goes blank, and it's Heaven when the noise shuts up.

Hi Baby, on a positive note, how much do all those spare parts that they'll be removing weigh? Right on.

Bobalooey... Bobalooey... I'm trying to say something here but I can't stop laughing.

Anything with a flavor is "crap" (not my words) one way or another. If it's got flavor, it's either sugar or some artificial chemical. I agree with Billy that non of us are crying the blues cause we miss our Perrier! Today I had a Diet Pepsi, which saved me about 450 calories considering I usually have a Starbuck's. I'm pretty sure beer bongs are out of the question though! I could see where gulping carbonation could cause a problem.

My bandages made my husband horny so there was no waiting. Men are weird.

You should call this question into your band surgeon. I just talked with my surgeon about an endoscopy over the weekend. Make sure a band surgeon does the scope. A regular doctor or technician could look right past signs of erosion without knowing it. Signs of erosion can be as small as a tiny stitch, so unless you're well-experienced with the band, they might look right past it. If you are getting scoped for different reasons, make sure to call your Band doc anyway. Maybe he could call your scope doc and explain how to check for erosion while he's already got the camera in your belly. Anyone with a band should get an endoscopy from a qualified Band surgeon at least once a year. I'm not saying you have erosion or anything like that, but they may as well take a peek since you're having the procedure anyway. If they find an ulcer, make sure to take the meds as directed since ulcers can lead to erosion (according to my knowledge.)

I still crack up everytime you call him Spudboy. Poor kid being raised by wild dogs! fixed it!

I just bought the book and spent a whopping $6.08 from Amazon.com. I know I've seen the book before but now I'll sit and wait for it to be mine... maybe Chris can use it to whack me upside the head.

Isn't a pint a serving when it comes to ice cream? I went "nuts" buying nuts and healthy Snacks in California over the weekend before my appointment. I love Wasabi Green Peas and someone (not mentioning names) recently got me hooked on wasabi peanuts, so I've been eating them by the bag. I was floored when Billy used wasabi peas as an example of a bad, bad food choice (how the hell did he know I'd been into wasabi peas?) Alex, he said he'd rather have a bag of chips, too. I (we) keep looking for the one food that we can eat in abundance while playing mind games that it's healthy or low cal. Maybe I'll freeze dry some celery. Yumm. Hack.

I am 100% in tune with you on the "food addict" thing. But your addiction isn't even an option right now because you could hurt your band if you eat. Like Nike says, JUST DO IT. It's tough as hell, but just keep posting here - all day long if you have to. I'm gritting my teeth for you.

I had the same fear of an odd object inside my body. It's weird, but what is weirder: Having a band around your belly, or having them cut your stomach up sew your intestines together? You get used to it, and if it really freaks you out, at least they can remove it.

Zoe, when I went to Billy, the exact words I used were, "I don't need a port, I need to be whacked upside the head." I hate numbers, too. They just add up too fast!

Stop thinking that you'll have to do this for a whole week. You just have to get through today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Immerse yourself in a good book that you can't put down, or get out of the house. Plan something that will distract you for several hours today. You can do this just for today.

I've always known exactly how much an ounce of pretzles has, or an ounce of cheese, but keeping with this thread I'm adding up some really honest and ugly numbers right now. I got rid of all our goodies at home and replaced it with dried fruits and nuts thinking it's a step in the right direction... wrong! I told Billy I'd be aware of how many calories my Snacks have, even if I decide to eat them all. So I measured my 12 ounce coffee mug and filled it with a mixture of cashews, wasabi dried peas and pita chips. One coffee mug isn't very big considering it will be spread out over 8 hours. WRONG! There's over 1000 calories packed in that little mug... cashews should never pass a Bandster's lips! I don't usually eat Breakfast, but I've eaten a couple ounces of this snack so far. After seeing the numbers, I pushed the cup aside. It's still here, but I'm trying to reason with it. Anyone else having trouble with portion sizes that is willing to share honestly how many calories are there?

I'm laughing because I remember them trying to trick me with that coconut liquid, as if I were drinking a Pina Colada. The stuff I had to drink was called "Cheetah." I had to drink a bottle of Cheeta (twice, actually) an hour before going in for upper GI tests. I don't think it's the same as barium, but not much different.

I was trying to take this thread seriously till Vinesqueen said, "I know I tease about being raised by wolves and I know it isn't fair to real wolves out there." Now my gut is splitting from laughing so damn hard. WHY are you being so mean to wolves???????? The best I can describe my childhood is being raised by the evil circus clown with props and scary surprises around every corner, always afraid. However, now those demons are behind me and all I'm left with are bad habits that I simply can't break. Doc Billy says, "you mean you 'won't' break." I say, "no, I CAN'T." When I am able to stop eating at night, I tear at my fingernails and cuticles till they bleed. Then I chew the insides of my cheeks and lips till they bleed. My dentist doubles as my therapist and always holds my hands and asks me to please stop making hamburger out of my lovely cheeks. food is a drug to me, which is why Billy is going about my personal dilema at a different angle. Yes, Michelle, that's the book he wants me to own. I agreed with him that I'd start memorizing serving sizes and calories even if I plan on eating the whole bag. It's okay for me to eat the entire bag as long as I agree to be happy with myself for cosuming all those calories (hopefully the idea will kick in that I won't be happy so I won't eat the whole thing.)

Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be... Pleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate. Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache. In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in a sleeveless shirt, we are flying squirrels in drag. Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around. Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless. Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too." Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones. Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?" In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is Water. Mid-life means that your Body by Jake now includes Legs by Rand McNally--more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin. Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the "Big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice? But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, the hip area expands and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

Hi Jennifer, we all share in all those same feelings. Welcome home.

Megan said, "But I'm restricted enough to PB and to have to really watch myself. It's such a fine line when you get so close to the sweetspot..." I read this sentence 5 times. If you still PB, then a fill isn't your answer. Billy said a new port would be much less expensive than I imagined. He's thinking between $1000 and $2500, and his staff will call me when he knows exactly. If they tell me $1000, that's something I could add to my already-whopping credit card, but I won't do it. I will not get a port as long as I'm still PBing from time to time. Yesterday morning I PB'd my tiny thyroid pill - I don't think I need a port. Megan, that wasn't a hijack, just another badly needed eye-opener. My new morning mantra: "I'm restricted enough to PB, I don't need a fill."

I came back here to delete this thread, which is another internal issue that I struggle with. I often write something, then later I feel really stupid for writing it. But I've got Band cops watching me who are helping me overcome my need to delete my own threads. Anyway, I came back to delete this, but after tearfully reading these responses, I'll let it ride. I almost wish I'd have taped my discussion with him because it's too complicated and twisted to repeat; he kept bringing up "calories" while I kept crying, "addiction." He'd ask me about a portion size and I'd sob back, "the entire bag." I honestly thought he was going to send me packing to the ER so he could remove the Band before I hurt myself, but somewhere within that hour we found a middle ground that we could both agree on. For now, all I need to do is "be aware" of what I'm consuming while focusing on my achievements and be willing to accept the circumstances of my choices. He actually wrote me a prescription to purchase a book that doesn't even have words in it. It's a book of food pictures (serving sizes.) I don't have the name handy, but I'll try to find it on-line tomorrow. I'm also ISO a good therapist to deal with my food issues, however, the eating disorder specialists I've seen over the years don't have a clue. When I tell them how much and what I eat, they stare at me in amazement, as if I'm a Lifetime special. Anyone know a good shrinky-dink in Vegas? I think a psycho-therapist should be included with the price of the band. Thanks right back at you all for keeping it real.

According to Dr. Billy, it's all the same. I specifically asked, for example, if the pouch might get so stretched out that it would spill over the sides of the band. No, no, no. That's not what happens, instead, the band slips down. After it slips, you don't have the small pouch up on top any more, but instead you have a bigger pouch - NOT because it stretched, but because the band slipped down. It's easier for a morbidly obese person to say, "my band slipped" then to say, "I overate and caused my pouch to stretch." Blame it on the band, right? It's a painful realization (to me, anyway) because it would ultimately be my fault if my band slipped due to overeating, but is it really my fault since I'm plagued with this disease of compulsive addiction? That's the way it was explained to me. If anyone else has a more accurate explanation, please share.

I probably would have answered different last week and told you to wait. But I'm feeling emotionally well-balanced at this very moment, so I'm going for the tough-love answer here. We should act like Banded people every day, regardless of vacation. If you had a fill scheduled, get the fill. Enjoy your vacation, but enjoy it as someone with a band who can eat small portions of anything. Just trying to think like a good bandster for a change.

I had a long chat with my surgeon about honesty. I'm brutally honest with him, even though I feel like crawling under the table and pulling a hospital gown over my head. The think I admire most about my surgeon is that he doesn't hold back or take any crap (lies) when it comes to food choices. You can't get anything past him. I was crying in his office because I felt like such a failure having gained back 8 of the 70 pounds I lost. I thought, based on his hardcore nature, that he'd be stearn with me, but instead he told me to focus on the incredible job that I've done so far and work on accepting who I am now. That made me feel really great. I'm trying to write this without being judgmental or critical, but he pointed out that most overweight people are very dishonest because they don't come clean with him, and the numbers simply don't lie. If everyone ate like perfect bandsters, we'd all be skinny now. My meeting was very long and emotional. Telling him all my dirty food secrets was humiliating and exhausting. He doesn't hug me or baby me, but I can honestly say that man cares about me. My point to this thread is that if you aren't 100% honest with your doctor, then no fill amount in the entire world will ever be able to help you. I went there to discuss getting a new port. He said I could have one if I wanted, but I don't want one. I have plenty of daytime restriction. Our decision was for me to start working on loving myself for who I am, accepting that I've lost a whopping 60 pounds, and just maintaining that loss. I left his office feeling a lot of relief, so I urge you all to tell your doctors everything, regardless of how embarrassing.

I had a long chat with my band surgeon this weekend. One of the topics was carbonation. I asked him, "Why can't we have carbonation." He said "you don't want carbonation, you want crap." He was right! He said if we all wanted carbonation so bad, we'd be asking if we could drink Perrier, but all of us keep asking to drink soda. Maybe some of us drink sparkling Water all or some of the time, but I want a damn Diet Pepsi. There is no proof that carbonation causes slippage, pouch stretching, etc. I asked Dr. Billy why all the other doctors say to avoid it, and I wanted to know the theory behind it all. Many doctors believe that if a "burp gets trapped" the gas could cause the band to slip. But that's "IF" a burp gets stuck, and I burp like a hog so there's no chance of that. What it boils down to is bad food choices. Dr. Billy doesn't understand why we'd want to put any kind of crap into our stomachs, and since soda and diet soda is filled with crap then we should avoid it, but there's no proof that carbonation causes slippage. Even a bad hiccup could potentially cause slippage. I forgot to mention that I'm a Diet Pepsi junkie. I quit for almost a year after banding, but lately I just gotta have one. For me, what it boils down to is this: If enjoying a Diet Pepsi will prevent me from eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's, then I'm going to have the Diet Pepsi. Even my doctor agreed that he'd rather see me with a Diet Pepsi than ice cream.