DeLarla

My sister wanted to play a joke on her friend who is sappy desperate for a girlfriend. I sent him a Fatty Patty Blow Up Doll as a joke. If you don't laugh, you get old. This guy is a complete stranger to me, but he got the package today and sent me this e-mail: "Finally, love!" WOW.....its true love....Thank you very much.....hahaha." If the LBT Police think this one pushes the line, then go ahead and delete it (I swear, I won't get mad.) But I NEEDED a good laugh, and this picture still has me busting up. Who doesn't need a good laugh?

Well, if I do die, I will my ten thousand dollars worth of sex toys and lingerie to all you fine people! Tell Chris to share... and goodbye, cruel worlddddddddddd! I'm not welcome in Heaven, and Hell doesn't want me. I'm not going anywhere.

I have to jump through endless hoops to see if I can get the endo first, and I plan to have Billy read it (or ask him.) I have a gastro, but NATURALLY my referral expired. So back to my primary I go. Will he just fax an updated referral? Nooooooo. Does he have an appointment this week? HA HA. So I'll wait till next week, sit in his waiting room 2 hours, then he'll spend 27 seconds in my room scribbling a renewal for my Gastro. Then I'll have to make the gastro appointment. My worst favorite five words are, "Spell your last name again." I swear, they act like Bonekovic is the most confusing name on the planet. I feel like getting back at society by hyphenating my maiden name and talking even faster: "I SAID, Kotwica-Bonekovic, did you get that?" I finally figured out an easier solution though. I'm getting my Master's, then I'm going to Medical School for half a decade, then I'll do a 2 year internship, then I'll go back to medical school for 2 more years of specialty bariatrics, then I'll go to Baja for Band training. In 15 more years I can take care of my own band. Sounds easier, no?

Do like Kathy said. Use a sports bottle, hold it over your mouth, and just let one drip into your mouth at a time to wet your mouth. The Water will absorb little by little. I call it my Polish IV. I have a question - since we sweat through our skin, couldn't soaking in a bath allow liquid to penetrate to avoid dehydration in an emergency like this? Even breathing in steam? I would do anything possible to keep hydrated till your stoma settles. Good luck.

I already wrote the news, but they didn't respond. It's like everyone is afraid to take on "the system." Dr. Billy told Penni and I that erosion can look like the tiniest speck that any regular gastro would look right past, and that regular gastro docs overlook erosion all the time. We have to be walking Band Surgeons and learn to read our own scopes n' such! Michelle, I would go with you in a heartbeat, but it would be a waste of my time and money. Dr. Ortiz would do an endo for $250, plus a couple hundred for traveling. But I don't have $5,000 for band removal surgery. If Ortiz found erosion, he'd remove the band. No sense traveling ANYWHERE just to find out I'm eroded. I've been thinking though. Since I'm an alien, and all the weird crap always happens to me, then maybe I'll be the freak that had the 8-month infection that never got erosion. Stranger things have happened!

Oh my gosh, a coldpill nearly killed me one day. I was so friggen sick that I popped a big horsepill. That thing got stuck and sent me to PB hell in a public gas station. It was horrifying. Whatever you take, make sure it's not a big pill!

I'm overcoming a bad weekend where I most likely overate and caused some serious discomfort. Lots of people have called or written asking what's up. Thanks, by the way In a nutshell, I've decided to attack my situation in Las Vegas! I don't want to go to Mexico, I don't want to go to California (mind you Dr. Billy is a great surgeon, but he's not in Vegas.) Today I called both local band docs, and was turned away by the staff because I was banded in Mexico. I demanded they discuss my EMERGENCY with the doctors. Teng's office called me back and told me to go to my primary doc. Fisher hasn't called me back yet. Remember, I ran into Fisher at the pharmacy (small world thing) and he told me to my face that he WILL see emergencies from Dr. Lopez. I told the staff that I'm making an announcement to the world: If I have stomach fluids leaking that can potentially kill me, and if I die as a result of my band, then the whole world will know that Teng and/or Fisher didn't care enough to look at me because money is more important than human life. I next made an appointment with my primary doctor for next week, who will refer me to a gastroenterologist, who will hopefully refer me for an endo. I will urge them that leaks can kill me. But, it's useless for any old gastro to do the endo since only a Band surgeon knows how to find erosion. Billy told me that regular gastro doctors overlook erosion all the time, which brings me to the problem with Teng. Teng's staff said Teng refers his problem patients out to get the scope from a local lab. That means even Teng's patients can have erosion, but if Desert Radiologists, for example, don't know how to look for erosion, then they might bypass it. So for now, I am feeling better. I learned that not all "slips" are really slips. Sometimes just a small portion of the stomach can come up through the band, and by staying on liquids for a few days, things could fall back in place. I learned deep-fried cheesesticks dipped in Marinara sauce can cause blockage, as can other foods. But Sandy (from Ortiz's office) talked to me, and she specifically mentioned a bad time she had with mozzerella sticks, which happens to be exactly what I ate, and she described my exact symptoms. So for now, I'm nowhere. Sandy also agreed that infected ports can often lead to erosion, but she said there's always a chance it won't. So I have to fight for an endoscopy. If I get scheduled, I will talk extensively with the technician before going under and explain that erosion can look like the smallest dot. Dr. Teng's staff said any doctor that scopes me can call Teng for a consult. So, let's see where this takes me. I'll make a deal. If I have a clean band on May 5, 2006, then I'll let you all chip in for my new port (ducks from flying shoes.) I love you guys - thanks for always being here, each and every one of yoons.

I didn't have any pain with my original surgery. I didn't have any pain with my port removal. But when Lopez replaced my port and left me with a huge gaping hole, I was doubled over for weeks in pain. OUCH!

Okay, since Zoe has avoided every single request for a real address from me, I didn't get to send her the card. Zoe, I have a card for you. Glad it's all over, and glad the 5 lbs left, too!

Okay, who knows a Plus Size Brazilian was lady in Vegas. I want a Brazilian wax really bad, but I'm too embarrassed that I'd disgusted the skinny wax girl.

Okay, I'm feeling better after a long, long talk with Sandy from Ortiz's office. Long story how I connected with her, but what a wonderful gal. She really helped me out, and tomorrow I'll start hunting down an endo, just to be on the safe side. But all the talk of "loss of restriction" had me panic so I decided to test my band. I was feeling good, and damn hungry, so I ate some real food. 1/2 cup mashed Beans and 2 ounces meat. Made me full, but felt so good that I added 1 slice rye bread. Now I feel normal, and restricted. Yes, I know I'm supposed to stay on liquids, but I'm obsesses with food, ergo the band. Yikes, I'll never learn. We think I got something stuck based on the way liquid stuck up top, then added irritation. So tomorrow I start my Quest for a local endo, or at least a fluoro for starters.

Girl, get a mirror, get at toy, and reconnect with your best friend, fast!

Thanks Nyk, but I'm swallowing better. Yesterday all my normal band rumbly and grumbling stopped, and I couldn't burp. But today the gurgles are letting liquids pass. I don't think I was ever as bad as even one of your hours though. I just had bad band pain and was choking every couple hours. Today most of the pain is gone. Thanks everyone for your help & concern & calls & PMs & e-mails & chats, and Kel, I'm sorry I missed you! I can't get an unfill because I don't have a port. I'd have to get my entire band removed. I just don't have many options (or I have a million too many?)

Sorry, no red for me. It washes out in 2 weeks and looks like rusty pink. I was red for many years, but my old lady hair turned to horse hair that refuses to hold pigment. I've challenged many hairstylists who swear they can make me red, but it never lasts. Phooey.

OMG, black olives, green olives - any olives! I could live on them! I'm on liquids for a few days, and it sucks. As far as hating me loving me hating me loving me, hell, it's my badass friends that get me through the toughest times. This isn't a time for cooing or coddles, this is serious. I'm afraid to drink a Coke now! Time to go Water down some water for a lovely treat.

Even low sodium broth brought the stuck glob back. I think it's a dense form of PB slime that can't go down and won't come up, so it glues to the back of your throat. It chokes in your sleep so you wake up coughing. Add that to regular allergies and it's a miserable night's sleep. Sipping warm liquid is soothing, but it doesn't get rid of it. The best comfort is a steamy shower or bath. Ice pops and cold feel good too, but nothing really gets rid of it. In the past, after a day or so, suddenly I'll sneeze or cough and dislodge the thing. Nice, huh?

Maggie, I think most of us (at least me) feel the same way about our bodies. Girl, I've been through decades of therapy over the exact same destructive behavior as you, including being addicted to speed, in many forms, many times in my life. I was hospitized countless times. You have to come to terms with your body though and realize you will never, ever have an 18 year old's rock hard body with perfect hips and boobs. You are a woman now, so instead of hiding, begin to embrace your sexuality. Look at the world around you - who is perfect? Should we be sentenced to a life of imprisonment because we were plagued by unexplainable disorders? Would you hide a cancer victum in long sleeves in the summer? Love yourself now, and amazing things will start happening. The world can F off if they don't like my bare arms!

Alex, an unfill is not an option. I'm not closed completely, so there's nothing I can do but baby it. If it shut down completely, I'd have to go to ER and explain that the only band surgeon in town is Barry Fisher, who would have to remove the band. Heaven only knows where that would lead or how they'd treat me, so my only choice is to baby it. Kim, yes, I do have bad allgergies today, which is compounding the problem. I can tell the difference between allergies though, because I had them prior to banding. Allergies will cause flem, but they never choked me like good old band flem does!

I went to the amazing International Lingerie Convention, so here's the list of all the companies that carry plus size pretties. I carry lots of plus size items from some of these companies, but I buy with a blindfold on so I never know what I'll get, which is why I'm still hunting for panties. If you do internet searches, please share links. I'm especially interested in plus size thongs. Thanks! And your welcome! NOTE, I won't sell my lingerie unless you try it on first, and since you can't try on clothes over the internet, this isn't a marketing thread. I'm sharing info on plus size women's wear. A.T. Design Allure Leather Ascension Lingerie & Swimsuit LLC Comme-Ci Comme-Ca Apparel Coquette Int'l Inc. Delicate Illusions Dreamgirl, International Electric Lingerie Elegant Moments, Inc. Empire/The Farel Corp. Escante, Inc. Fantasy Lingrie, Inc. Faris Lingerie Fashion Designers, Intl'. Inc. Future Form Glroia's Dreams Grupo Espiral/Espiral Linterie Hoss International Infimax corp JH design Group Kaia Designs Kookie Int'l Leg Avenue, Inc. Magic Silk Mailini/Taj Minor Creations Moonlight Serenade Morganza Brazil Intimates Paradise Lingerie, Inc. - honeydew Intimates Secret Mirror/Sex symbol Shame Lingerie Sharron Leslie Designss Shirley of Hollywood Simply Thongs Squeem Coporation Stormy Leather Tony Shoes/Tony's Wear Triangle Lingerie Copr Versatile Fasions Vx Intimate Studio, Inc. XTC Leather Of NY, LTD

I'm watching morning news. An anorexic girl is on TV that's a single mother with 4 children and only eats 500 calories a day. She's crying and saying "I may as well have cancer." But at the same time, she runs a pro-anorexic website. Apparently, there are hundreds out there that encourage girls to be anorexic. She gives them tips and training tools. Many sites get 200,000 hits.

Michelle, I didn't make it home till 5am the next morning because I went dancing with my Slumber sisters and burned 9 billion calories; then we went to Breakfast at 3:00 a.m. so I walked away and drank ice tea (can you believe that?) However, the next night I went too long without eating, then had some cocktails at the show, then at midnight was starving. I walked through the casino looking for a bag of popcorn or anything to fill my pouch and ended up at a Mexican counter. So I had chips and salsa with an appetizer that was sooooooo good. That's when I overdid it, and woke up in the middle of the night hurting. Today I'm not sure yet. I had a rough night trying to cough the clog out of my throat. I took today off work. First thing I did was drink a small bottle of Water to see what happened. Normally I hear the gurgle of the water going through within a minute, but yesterday I never gurgled at all. Today it took about 15 minutes for the water to go through. Most of the pain and burn was gone, but the water just brought a hint of the burn back. I think if I stay on liquids then I might heal, but I'm calling Dr. Billy later. I called yesterday but nobody called back. I have the clogged throat really bad, too. Like flem glued to the back of my throat that chokes me. The good news is that yesterday my belly wasn't making and noise, and today it's talking up a storm. I'll keep you updated. Thanks everyone for being here. Alex, if I lose a pound over this, I'm holding you accountable! Kare, keep kicking my ass. I want a Coke so bad, but I won't give in. But my symptoms are positively physical this time. I have a headache and I'm lethargic because of quitting the addiciton, but this band problem is real. Rene, keep kicking my butt. I need it! Thanks for keeping me of Coke yesterday. Pam, call your doc. If I have to, you have to! Everyone else, thanks so much. I couldn't wait to see if you were all here, makes me feel a little better.

I'm home sick and now I'm crying... you girls always make me cry Thank you. And I give Sachi and Voo hundreds of kisses every day. Thank you! Chris and I went blonde together, but I hated his and now his salt-n-pepper is growing back plus he's wearing glasses - I think he's HOT too! Why do you think I put up with him? He's an irresistable 9 year old!

Not only was my psychic accurate, but she gave time frames that have been precise. I'm going to listen to the tape again. She kept pointing at my throat "within 3 months" but she was confused because it related to scars around my sternum. So today I'm home sick because I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with my band. I stayed on liquids yesterday, but still had trouble sleeping due to the lumps in my throat (acid reflux.) This morning, plain water has me choking if I drink too much. I'm calling my band soon.

That's lots to be thrilled about Smooch. Little things all add up. Good going!

I was thinking of a blocked stoma, but liquids are passing slowly. I put a call into my doc but he didn't call back. I already know that any one of my 9 band surgeons will all say the same thing, which is what Alex said. Liquids for a few days, then we'll see. Though I did get lump-in-the-throat from 2 S/F ice pops. Let's see what tomorrow brings.