DeLarla

Lisa, when can you come paint a mural on my bathroom wall? I bet your kids love their rooms. Very special indeed.

I layed in Penni's bed when I visited her - it's a nice place to be. Penni, have a safe trip home. And did I tell you I sprung for a new bed when I refi'd? Memory foam. LOVE it. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Let me know when they get Mom's results.

I don't even dream of Onederland! That's amazing.

Right on, Rose. What a great, upbeat post. Go easy on yourself. Some of us started feeling better, but then felt worse for a few days, so take it easy and welcome to the other side!

I told Oprah we all wanted professional makeovers. Hey, stranger things have happened. But she must get thousands of letters every day, but it's fun to dream, right?

Darcy, didn't I tell you that I hit the age where I'm not having any more birthdays? I'm in freeze frame. No more, thank you.

Anne, I think it all falls under weekly challenge... maybe we should start a new threat called Minute Challenge! By the way, Penni says hi. She had to drive her mom to Kentucky today for a colonoscopy, so she won't be around the boards. She'll miss everyone!

Happy Birthday Biker Betty!!!! Darcy, how do you figure out these days?

Babs, if you look up a few posts, you'll see a link to Cerbat, Arizona. There's no town, just a bunch of abandoned mines, mining equipment, and ruins of old stone buildings. Chris and I stumbled across the ruins when we were on our way home from the Grand Canyon in July. I mean smack in the middle of nowhere. But to get there, we have to cross the Hoover Dam, so if you go, you'll get to see that. It's about an hour drive from my house. I'm very close to the Strip and all the action. If you come, bring sturdy walking shoes. I like to keep my ankles covered because of snakes. If you don't bug them, they don't bug you. Luckily, I've only come across one, but it was at the lake and I was standing on his hole like a big dumbass. I moved slowly away, then ran like hell. As far as hangovers, that's the problem with Vegas. You come here for a few days and want to party like a mad dog, but then you get a hangover and don't want to leave your room. I plan on sticking with my 3 drink minimum, so I'll be drinking early in the day so that I won't have a hangover to go on our adventure. Don, he can eat breakfast, but he'll still want some of our beef Jerkey. Something about being in the mines just makes you have to eat jerkey.

Anne, the craziest thing about my binge eating is that I used to hide it. Once my boyfriend came home from work when he wasn't supposed to. I was eating a pint of ice cream. When I heard his keys, I crammed it into the nightstand. He found it. I was mortified. But the funny part is that I started going to Overeater's Anonymous meetings. I lost 30 pounds over the course of a year by only eating 3 meals a day, but it taught me so much. One thing I learned was to stop hiding my binge eating. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, cuz soon I was inviting people to pig out with me. Asking "hey, you gonna eat that?" Now I have no shame. Zero, I'll pig out with anyone. So I got really fat, but the secrets stopped. I'm glad you got your fill. After bingeing for 3 days, my belly/band hurt pretty bad, so I have had good restriction for a couple days. I really think the doctor hit my sweet spot at 1.8 cc when I had my first and only fill during the port removal surgery. I have days when I'm really tight (but just a few days out of the month.) I wish I could be this tight every day. Hey, maybe binge eating is a good thing since it gave me restriction ... NO, I did NOT say that!

Anne they say, "you're only as sick as your secrets." My secret is that I went through a brief period of anorexia at 17 and ended up in the ER malnourished. I naturally conquered that by learning about bulimia after the doc thanked me for stopping by on my way to the mortuary. Bulimia comes in many forms - it's not just binging and purging. Many abuse laxatives or exercise for hours to purge a binge. That was me my entire life. Binge three days, take diet pills, exercise 3 hours and starve for 4 days. I never abused laxatives, but I did abuse diuretics and diet pills. I didn't learn to actually vomit till about 13 years ago, which thankfully only lasted a few months. I had just met Chris and was vomiting a couple times a day. One day he said, "tonight you're not eating salad and you're not vomiting, and if you do I'll never come back." I asked how he knew, and he said, "because right after we eat there's always lettuce floating in the toilet." Listen to me, as if I'm the only one with these secrets! I keep forgetting we're all here for the same reason - to control our eating. The band has helped me, but I have a long, long way to go. I wish I could afford intensive therapy, but that's why I'm on this board. At least now my binges are few and far between. This is the kind of psychological problem my doc should have caught, because a doc with morals wouldn't have thought a band could correct my mind. All I know is that I have one good day under my belt. I hope today is #2.

If we're gonna do the Cerbat thing, best to forget Breakfast and do the trip the right way (our tradition.) That means I'll pack a picnic of dried fruit, beef jerkey, grapes, nuts. Heck, for you I'll even boil some eggs. Chris has been itching to go, and the weather just cooled down enough. Strange desert - last week were frying, this week snuggling in blankies. So we're down for Sunday - all the way! All I know about the mines is what I've learned in the last year, so I'm really excited that your man is coming because I can sponge off his knowledge of bones, rocks, ruins & junk. Awesome!

By the way, I think it's important for you all to know that even though I still have some weight loss, it's not the healthy type. I still have the old bulimic way of thinking. Binge 3 days, and then make up by barely eating, extra exercise and double water. So while I cry that I'm eating out of control, it might look like I'm just playing this challenge with Penni really hard. Sure, we both want to win the challenge, but I'd stop that game in a heartbeat if I knew if it was affecting either me or Penni in a negative way. So Penni, if you're eating because we're possibly getting nervous about wanting to win, I'll declare you the winner right this second and buy you a prize. But if you think we're both okay, game still on. No, I'm not backing down, but the worst thing in my entire world is a binge. My belly still hurts from 2 days ago when I packed my pouch full. So sure, I lost a couple more pounds, but only because I starve for a few days after a binge, which is not the way to go.

http://www.ghosttowngallery.com/htme/cerbat.htm Geeze, any chance you can stay in Vegas an extra week? Even the handyman I paid hasn't shown up to finish the simplest job. Your room looks incredible. Now that I know your man is a paleontologist, maybe he can tell me if the bones in my rock garden are human. I collected them while exploring the abandoned mines. One day I want to do a whole ghost-town-theme rock garden in my back yard, so I pick up bones & rocks when we explore. I figured these were wild burrow bones - perhaps eaten by a wildcat, but wouldn't it be freaky if they were human? So, are we still on for exploring Cerbat, Arizona in 2 Sundays? Check out the link up top. It's about an hour's drive - across the Hoover Damn, you get a damn bonus!

I've said this 20 times, but the very best thing for me after the surgery was my king-size heating pad. My back and shoulder was sore, and I was very bloated. I didn't put the heating pad on my belly, but I put it on my lower back, and it was about the only thing that brought me comfort. Right after they wake you up you'll be in recovery. I don't remember much from the Recovery Room, but as soon as I was in my room there was Water waiting for me to sip. But I brough my own small bottle of Gatorade, and they let me sip that. I wanted to start drinking as much as possible to flush all the anesthetics out of my body. It took me about 12 hours to drink one small bottle of Gatorade, but I kept taking small sips all night.

Anne, last night I stayed on line chatting with Penni till I went to bed. I was actually able to eat a yummy salad for dinner, and I chewed really well, then I didn't eat for the rest of the night. So once again, I have one really good band-day under my belt. Yesterday was kind of hard at night. Once we get into the binge cycle, it's hard to stop. Last week I made a committment to call someone every night. My phone bill is gonna be huge, but it kept me from eating. I have a confession that I've talked about before, but I drink too much on the weekends, either on Friday or Saturday night. I've been contemplating going to AA to quit altogether, but something's been holding me back. I really enjoy going out to party, and we only live once, and I'm not getting any younger. It's not like I'll be hitting the dance floor at my local bar in another decade, so I suddenly came up with a plan. Geeze, it's so simple that I can't believe I thought of it before. I'm allowing myself a 3 drink minimum per weekend.. Why quit when I only drink a couple times a month? It's just one more thing I really don't want to give up. I drink responsibly - I never drive, I don't go to dangerous places, and I'm careful with my money. The goofiest thing is that this is something I can live with, but it just never occured to me that I can place a limit on myself instead of quitting. Getting the band was enough for me. I'm not allowed to smoke because I have an autoimmune disease that affects my lungs, I'm not allowed to binge, I don't do drugs. Hell, I even gave up getting my nails and lawn done so I can pay for the band. So there, I said it. I'm a lush! But wooo hoo for me, no more feeling bad about it because I'm a party girl and I know it! And as far as the extra calories, I always drink double my daily water before going out, I walk extra, and I dance a lot. Plus I skip dinner and just pick at some of Chris's food. I think this is gonna be a good end of 2004 for all of us... I kinda feel it in the air. Anne, hang in there. A fill does us no good if we can't control our binges (I'm a living example.) I'm doing whatever it takes to quit binging... one little day at a time. I DID IT, I have one good day again! And I decided that only posting my weight once a month isn't enough. Weekly is too much. I'm gonna post today - maybe posting my weight twice a month will be my sweet spot! Rock on, everyone!

Everybody feels different after the surgery. Some people seem to spring back to life pretty quick, while others (like me) take a couple weeks to feel good. Good luck... lots of new bandsters here!

He Tall Guy! I'm a tall one myself. Your post just inspired me to make a new goal. I don't believe in making weight loss goals or number goals because they always seem to trip me up, but after this post, my new goal is to ski again. Even if I only make it to the bunny slopes. I used to love to ski, but I had to give it up because I'd get such bad bronchial infections from all the huffing and puffing. Side-stepping up the hills to get on the lift just isn't something a 300 pound woman should be doing. So my goal is to ski again! Welcome, and good luck.

Greta, you made our list. I sent it to Oprah today. I told her we have reservations for Buca di Beppo for 20 people on October 8 and asked if we should make it 21. HAHAHA, but hey, ya never know. Her staff will probably open the letter in 6 months due to their enormous loads of daily fan mail, but yes, I sent our list. I put in bold: WE'VE LOST OVER 1600 POUNDS! Heck, why stop with Oprah? I think I'll write a whole sitcom and propose it to the major networks. Called BIG FAT LOSERS.

You don't want to be far from a doctor that can unfil you in case too much restriction suddenly kicks in. I live in Vegas, and the doctors here won't touch patients banded elsewhere. There's only one doctor here that does fills - his name is Dr. Francis Teng. If you insist on getting your fill first, maybe you should call Teng's office and ask if they'll do a partial un-fill in case you suddenly become too restricted while on vacation.

Penni, any word on that brain-band yet, or was I the one creating the prototype? Is that even a word? I'm trying to talk all smart like all yoons scholars. Yes, I've done 3 nights of binging, but I think I'm done. I slept like a pig last night. I couldn't keep my peepers open past 8:00, so naturally I was up at 3:30 a.m., but I managed to fall back asleep and had a dream that both Kevin Bacon and Tom Selleck both proposed to me. Kevin was the dangerous boy that gave me the bigger diamond, but I chose Tom because of his sensitivity. Funny, I've never had a particular attraction to either of them, but it SUCKED waking up. Yesterday at this same time I was craving a binge, but today I'm feeling stronger. Let's hope it's behind me, because yes, I've actually been hurting my band. Waking up in the middle of the night in pain, and still feeling the pain the next day. I could have easily skipped lunch... but like that would ever happen! I would do good on a couple days of liquids, but I don't have the willpower. xoxo

Class starts this Friday night 5 - 10 p.m. in a classroom. Then all day Saturday and Sunday outside. They keep testing till everyone passes the DMV tests. They'll give me an endorsement, so Monday I'll take it to the DMV and trade it for my license if all goes well. By this time next week I should be street legal. Chris doesn't like it. He's been so excited to see me enjoying the bike. He couldn't wait to get me in a leather jacket. He's trilled that I'm starting to accept the bike... but now he's getting really worried because the time is almost here that I'll be able to ride it alone, far, far away from him. He's starting to wring his hands. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

I constantly struggle with portion control. I'm on a 3 day binge. But I feel pretty good today because I got great sleep, so I'm looking at it like today is Day 1. I've done good, I can do it again. Congrats to all BIG FAT LOSERS!

Betty, I see what you're saying, but I guess I'm over-analyzing the whole "Harley" symbol the same way I'm analyzing being fat vs. thin. I still have 80 pounds to lose, but men are already treating me so different since I lost 50 pounds. Now 2 guys will each hold doors open for me at the same time. Men stop traffic to let me in. It's nice, but I want to scream at them because 50 pounds ago they'd rather run me over than let me in. That's how I feel about the Harley. I'm the same chick, I just happen to be sitting on an expensive label. I guess what I'm saying is that I've been dying for all this attention my whole life, and nothing about me has changed. I'm still the same ol girl with the great big heart, but now suddenly people are noticing just because I have a fast toy? Maybe I'll just carry a frying pan and whack them over the head. Then again, maybe I'll try to forget about the past and live for the future. I've always been a "label hater." I never understood why people spend big bucks on designer lables just to make the designer richer while I'm getting reamed. I wish I had a kill-switch for my brain to shut it up instead of all this analyzing! Just kinda go with the flow.

Penni, you have nothing to worry about. I binged last night. And semi-binged Sunday. I'm constantly struggling with my thoughts. I had some awesome loss last week, but it's all back. You have nothing to worry about because I'm still fighting the same bad habits. I'm hurting my pouch, and I have to deal with it. There's no excuse other than lack of sleep. When I don't get much sleep, I have poor judgment and big cravings. My belly hurt last night. I actually ate french fries, candy, ice cream, popcorn - all on an already too full stomach. Band... what band? And no, I don't need a fill because I was plenty full and uncomfy, but I did it anyway. I just ate a cookie after lunch and halfway through it, spit it into a napkin. At least I stopped tho! I just keep telling myself that none of this is gonna matter in 100 years. I hate food. It's wrong, wrong, wrong, but gosh, here are all you happy people just making me laugh.