Almostthere34

I want to post a body shot and I will later but here are some face shots. SW at 264 to 143 and size 4.

How are you doing? I was sleeved Friday.

My deepest condolences.
I think a realistic approach is to not worry about a goal weight but rather to restore healthy habits and stop the regain. Later you can think about goal weight. I suggest not having trigger foods in the house. I for example cannot have my favorite Protein bars as I eat them like candy. You are doing the same with fudgecicles so don't buy them. Every night when you escape reality in front of the tv try doing a manicure, doing a hobby like knitting, something to keep you busy and is incompatible with eating junky food. You will be better able to cope if your body is healthy. Get sleep...if you aren't sleeping, talk to a good doc about it.
I lost my baby sister and best friend to breast cancer at age 39...it was beyond devastating so I have an idea of the sad lonely overwhelming feeling. I am so sorry...cancer sucks.

I want to post a body shot and I will later but here are some face shots. SW at 264 to 143 and size 4.

I still fight this to some degree (at 3+ years out) and honestly I don't think that there is an easy answer. I will spend time looking at old photos of me (rare because I was usually safely behind the camera) or pulling out old clothing to wake up my brain that is telling me I'm fat. But to some degree I don't think that it really ever goes away 100%.
Here is a clip from Shelly at the World According to Eggface, where she went on the Rikki Lake show to talk about it:
http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-ricki-lake-show-wrap-up.html
Body dismorphia is crazy...because when I was at my largest, my brain would refuse to acknowledge how big I was (which was a big reason to hide from the camera because cameras have a way of telling the truth ---mostly, photoshopping notwithstanding---) I was in the camp of refusing to buy bigger clothes and instead squeezed myself into the biggest clothes I already owned (3x and a few 4x) but now at the other end of the spectrum, I still have *those* moments when I think I'm much bigger than I really am.
For me, I also went through a regain period and I think that has messed with my brain considerably (GT, I know you feel me sista!) It is truly humbling to hit a "low" and then bounce UP. Gah! BUT here is the kicker...when I sit and compare photos of me at my lowest weight, compared to my regain (which now is about 8lbs) I literally see NO DIFFERENCE. So basically even though I'm still beating myself up over the extra lbs, realistically I cannot see them, but I know they are there.
Anyway, that got a little long...it's sad to me that Michelle (Shelly) still 7 years later cannot SEE her transformation. Wow, just wow.

Lipstick. .. it's like you are inside my head (scarry)... for me it's the same, but different... I used to be so thin and fit. All growing up and through high school I was a gymnast. I got into modeling/acting at 18. It wasn't until I turned 30 that I started packing it on. I knew I was fat but I just couldn't see it. Even still when I look at myself I just see me. Selfies have become my only way to "see" myself. For some reason when I look in a mirror I don't see the enormity of myself, but in a picture it's like, Wow... is that really what I look like? I'm constantly asking my daughter if I'm as big as some other woman. I honestly don't know if that will ever go away but every morning I take a picture of myself in the mirror so I can clearly see how I look. I've never told anyone that before so it's kind of embarrassing. Even through all that I KNOW I look better and confidence has (outwardly, not inwardly) has never been an issue for me. Now.. with this experience I'm going through (being sleeved) I'm getting sort of glad that I'm like that because I think (hope) that I can use my weirdness as a tool to stay on track, hopefully to not get complacent. ... You've done such a great hob losing almost 100 lbs. And getting yourself in shape. Don't let your head get in your way of celebrating yourself and your accomplishments. Whatever"tools" your mind uses to get you there are valuable.

I think you look amazing! Good luck on your medication adjustments.

Thank you. I'm not used to the attention. It is weird for both me and my husband but he takes it in stride. After 5 kids and all of these Years he knows I'm not going anywhere. I'm crazy about him and he is equally crazy about me now and even before the surgery. Who could ask for more!!!?? I am blessed.

For those with relaxers. Does anyone have a plan for Hair loss? I started taking Biotin today but I need a plan. Does anyone have any tips? Weaves, wigs, pieces. Tell me what you did or recommend?

I weigh daily and I track food on myfitness pal. My weight fluctuates 1-3 lbs. I even weigh when my monthly is around. Those are the only times I ignore the fluctuations. As long as the scale is between 142-145 I am good. I am going on a cruise in November. I think I should bring my scale. I will have to log my food manually since Internet is not free on carnival. Wish me luck fellow vets. I am going to try to get a workout in most days.

Well, I weigh 144-145 AND I'm going on a cruise Nov 9. LOL Good luck to you AND me. Yikes!!!!

Oh good gracious, who here ISN'T a food addict? Seriously? I see so many heartfelt pleas saying "I miss food, why oh why can't I be normal?" when in fact normal people don't put food at the top of every activity and as the most important thing to focus on each and every day.
It's hard, very hard, but "Hi, I am Art, and I am addicted to food"

Omg, I do the double take too. Lol. So strange. I am a 15 months out. I wonder when that will stop.

Omg, I do the double take too. Lol. So strange. I am a 15 months out. I wonder when that will stop.

Crossing your legs, having someone put their arms around my waist, shopping in the regular stores like H&M, running, wearing a small, not being recognized, giving fitness tips yes people actually listening to my advice, compliments, feeling good, and lots more. The best decision ever made.

Crossing your legs, having someone put their arms around my waist, shopping in the regular stores like H&M, running, wearing a small, not being recognized, giving fitness tips yes people actually listening to my advice, compliments, feeling good, and lots more. The best decision ever made.

Once they see your results they listen and it will happen. It's almost like people start to see you for the first time or maybe you feel so good you start speaking up. Not sure what it is but it's like life is in color for me.

Crossing your legs, having someone put their arms around my waist, shopping in the regular stores like H&M, running, wearing a small, not being recognized, giving fitness tips yes people actually listening to my advice, compliments, feeling good, and lots more. The best decision ever made.

Most of us have a lifetime of habits that we are dealing with. I will be 3 years post op in November and still have habits rear their ugly head, including binging behaviors. Many times it is either related to my emotions or my hormones. There are 2 difference now: 1) I know it is happening when it is happening...sometimes I stop it, sometimes I don't 2) I don't let one bad day or one bad moment send me on a downward spiral. I have fallen off the wagon more than once in this journey, but it never lasts long and I always have climbed right back on.
I think it is something that many of us will battle for a long time, maybe even a lifetime. Many times it is not only old habits we are dealing with, but just plain old human nature. I have seen my husband (who has NEVER had a weight problem) engage in the same behavior on occasion. I think the key for him is that is exactly it, on occasion, not all the time.
Just like Georgia said about her friend that still thinks about a cigarette every once in a while, even after 20 years, I don't think our habits will disappear after a year or 2 years. They might not ever disappear. But knowing ourselves, our habits, and our triggers is what will help us be successful in the long run!