DynamoMini

Of course I am the only obese person in my family but still convinced myself that I would somehow beat the odds despite being overweight all my life. I'm lucky that my wake-up call came after being banded so weight loss won't be such a struggle. You said it absolutely perfectly. We all have this magical thinking that redesigns our reflection in the mirror, insulates us from medical issues, and just ignores the data we are being given. All these defenses have saved us too. That is what I am learning in therapy. I have come to my obesity with care taking intentions, it was the best solution to issues I couldn't deal with in other ways. So glad that you are doing well, have good genes and are on the way to a healthy life. Best wishes,

Sunta - Congratulations! Wooooooooooooo whoooooooooooo! I am nervous to get on the scale, but I will on Monday. After traveling, eating really well, then spending just a few days of vacation time with my mom and aunt in New Jersey; it was amazing the trigger it was for me to go on a candy and cookie hunt. Sneak eating - sick stuff. But I'm home again, exercising and going forward. I'm so glad I have the support here. hugs to all, michelle

Crabcake - I have some similar reactions. From your mouth to God's ears, let it be so! :eek:

Hi All, I think it is interesting the variety of approaches to the lapband that various docs. Many of us who are overweight haven't seen doctors often or only in crisis. I think it is wise for the doctors to be cautious and make sure the individual wants to really commit to a different eating lifestyle. I get a little nervousn when I hear about people starving themselves pre or post band. My take is that I am creating a new eating pattern and lifestyle. I found I was obsessing about weight loss and not focused on healthy lifestyle. It's the healthy lifestyle that will sustain the weight loss, but I get into the mentality that "I want it NOW!" My trainer, psychologist and acupuncturist all agree that my obsessing will ultimately undermine my weight loss, so I am taking it one day at a time. Eating healthfully without obsessing, exercising 45 minutes five days a week (not 6 or 7), and working on positive statements to myself. There is a part of me that is the cynic. "You really think this will work?" I believe, for me, it is the only way to sustain change. Are any of you struggling with the "big picture" ? Long term commitment? Really changing, not just to look good for the big event? :heh:

It is so exciting to watch and listen to all of you creeping towards Onederland. I'm in the Big Apple vacationing. Lots of good for me food and exercise. Even taking the subway you do stairs. I saw two plays, went to the Met, scoured Chinatown and attended a wedding (lots of calories but hours of dancing too). jacqui - feel better, being sick sucks! Don't worry about the weight, medication does that to me too. Drews - Way to go girl! You are almost there! And more than that, you have recommited yourself to a healthy, happy new lifestyle! Roll on! So I won't be weighing, but feel grateful to all of you for keeping the focus and positive thinking. Love you guys,

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: Stacy - Wow! You are doing so well. I hate those dressing rooms too. The threeway mirrors are not my friend. I was delighted to hear how well you have done and getting into smaller clothes is a treat. See you in Onederland!

These are heart wrenching and warming stories. Purplegirl - I went on a fasting diet when i was 16 and got down to a "normal" size, but that started the yo yo dieting that defined my life. At 57 i think it is remarkable that you have faced the monster and are getting a grip on it now. When I was 16 they didn't have WLS, it was WW or the egg and grapefruit diet. Obviously, all the diets in the world don't work as well as a band. My hat is off to you and I wish you well on your journey. Being active and happy is the best way to conquer the weight issue. No one understands who doesn't have this problem. Good for you! Let us know how your journey goes.

Once you've felt that unconditional love, not based on your looks, but about loving your insides, you won't go back. The head trip is devastating to overcome. Hat off to you. You are on the road getting banded and healing those wounds. What allowed me to choose my abusive husband was set in motion during early childhood. Thank God for therapy. The sucky thing is that I am still left with the problem and all the perpetrators are off doing their thing! Also, part of my reality is my residual anger towards these people, even tho' my nature wants to excuse them. My therapist says I have to feel this anger in order to heal. I hate feeling angry, but I am healing.

BJean - thanks for the compliment. It's funny, I don't really see myself as attractive when I look in the mirror. One of my goals is to learn to love myself as my second husband Ira loved me. I learned about unconditional love from him and am grateful. I want to turn off the editor and feel the warmth and radiance I felt from him. cmaiorano - you are a weight loss STAR! Congratulations! I am sure you must feel really proud of yourself. Great job losing! Best wishes all, Michelle

Jealousy and the problem for me - I know my work on this earth is to learn boundaries. I am the type of person that many people use for support and I love giving that, but I am also the type of person that many people abuse by taking all my energy and never giving anything back. This is because I don't set boundaries. I want to be with people who take and give, not just the takers. If someone is an energy sucker, I'll give them some time, we all have those low moments, but at some point I want to be around people who think the glass is at least half full, not half empty all the time. I'm really there when someone needs me, but now, I am working to set a boundary that is reasonable because I deserve to be in a half full world, with at least half full energy around me. This helps me emotionally. mboulis - same deal for me By the way the first husband got really jealous when I lost weight, and I put it right back on, it was easier at the time. The second husband was a love and it didn't matter how much I weighed. Is it that way for any of you?

Jennifur - Hang in there. They can't have really been your friends, truly. I have experienced that type of judgment from my mother, and have had it all my life. Those comments used to be triggers, now I still acknowledge how hurtful they are, but, like you, I am not "showing them" by binging. The best revenge is living a healthy life. You go sista!

Plentsweet - Dr. K is wonderful. There is another site called "Considering Dr. Kirshenbaum" and it has tons of information about him. I was very reluctant to have this surgery because I have had other rough surgeries that didn't heal well. This was a walk in the park, I healed well and I think that Dr.K is a wonderful orthoscopic surgeon with lots of experience. The staff is supportive and helpful, the surgical center in Parker is top notch. It is great that you are local and can go to Dr. K for follow ups and fills. Best wishes. Conniesueb - I could meet this weekend if you pick a place and time. I'd love to meet you. I met with some other women from the Dr. K site and we had a wonderful time. I found it very supportive to meet others who "get me." Let me know. Sorry Mal that you aren't available.

Fran - Wow! That is a wonderful weight loss! Are you exercising too? I don't mean to be impertinent, but how is your skin and body shape? I have a hundred pounds to lose too and wonder how I will look afterward. I am curious about your daily eating plan. That is a lot of weight lost in a short time. I admire you. Best wishes,

Kim2Bhealthy - I really have to watch it when I eat out. I start talking instead of chewing. It gets bad if I am really hungry too. I have found after two PB incidents that I have to take very small bites, chew,chew, chew, then swallow. Then I can talk. I didn't realize how much I talked while eating. In the past, it worked, although it is rather rude to talk with food, but I would hurry the chewing process and gulp. No more for me. My official weigh in has me stalled at 203 again. I was frustrated until my trainer said that I was obsessing about numbers. I was counting my steps taken each day. I had given up my scale for weighing three times a day, to go to one official weigh in per week. I have to acknowledge that I am living healthfully; the weight will come off. I have taken the step monitor off, just doing my 50 minute aerobic 5 times per week, with some weight training two 30 minute sessions, and I log my food on calorieking, so I am doing what I need to do. Best wishes to all of you, I will get to Onederland when I get there.

gadgetlady - my reasoning was the same. I lost 40 pounds last year, and gained it over the six months before banding. I just couldn't face another failure. This won't be. I have my ducks in a row - a cheerleading team - and my head is ready to work. I also had trouble wiping, tying shoes, walking upstairs, etc. I am old and am feeling older. I realized that I was making a choice, but I needed help. OMG - the band isn't the easy way out, but perhaps a more permanent change for me.

Hello Ladies - Thanks for the posts. I don't know how sex will be, but I have to feel more confident and attractive than I feel right now. i really enjoyed sex before, so why not now? Although now I am using estrogen cream every other day for dryness, so we'll see if the parts still work. Give me another year!.......

I really like that quote and I think that all of us who have had wls were completely insane because you all were probably like me and did the same thing over and over with the same results. I wish I had kept track of all the weight i lost and money I've spent in the past 59 years pre banded. I'll bet the money would have paid for banding years ago. That includes pills, books, organizations like weight watchers and everything else. Hindsite is always better than foresite LLSibley - I totally agree. Whenever my current weight loss isn't quite as much as I want, I think about the diets of the past, where weight might have come off faster but I felt hungry and deprived, then with the goal in sight, I'd start to regain the weight because I couldn't beat myself up any more or my "will" power just ran out of steam. The band is a wonderful tool to alert me when I've eaten enough. One of my favorite quotes is "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". I loved the quote too!

DLW - All good advice here from my experiences. I avoid chewy meat, but filet mignon in small bites is perrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect. I don't get the 6 months without red meat. I think there are lots of individaul differences with the eating and doctor's orders. Some people seem to be ok with hamburger buns, others can't eat any bread. I can eat a little rice, just not a lot. My biggest thing seems to be the bite's size and my chewing. Moist meat is much easier, liquids are easy too, sip don't gulp. I've now had two fills, and still don't feel much restriction. I am really eating a lot less though, so maybe that is my restriction. green - send over the Italian stallions, I'm worried about the "use it or lose it" situation, my hubby died 6 1/2 years ago, I am worried I've been on the shelf too long! Have a great weekend!

missy0224 - you story is heartbreaking to me. I hope you have a team of cheerleaders around you helping you sort this out. If we could do it alone, we would have. I have a therapist, trainer and acupuncturist working with me on my transformation. I really hope you'll believe that you truly deserve a healthy life. I know you do. Best wishes on your journey!

jaqui - well, since LIVER is working for you and you like it - More power to you! The rest of you - I am almost in onederland, weighed 201.3 on the doc's scale, but have "official" weigh in on another electronic scale Monday morning. So I am losing at the rate of a pound a week. Slow, but healthy. Have good weekends!

Tina - Welcome - Dr. K is wonderful! I think you may need a mother's helper type person for your two year old, because you aren't supposed to lift much weight. Your child could cuddle, but you'll be somewhat sore and need to be careful with the kicking and elbows, etc. Congrats on your adoption. My two sons are adopted. They came home within two weeks of each other and are 28 days apart. Now they are 19, but what fun. I adopted them at 37 and was pretty exhausted, so good luck. Weight loss should help with the energy, but the interrupted sleep was hard for me. Good luck! Hugs to all!

BJean - way to go. Never heard about being hungry with an overfill. I just hope they found your sweet spot. Green - i am totally jealous! I want to flirt with Italian men, actually I'm kinda shy. Maybe the weight loss will fix that. Watch our world...... Denise - the computer dating thing could be the ticket, but remember there are lots of frogs out their, maybe we could import Green's Italian stallion! Hugs to you all. I had a fill today. I am losing about a pound a week. My doc is really happy, I'm struggling with that being ok with me. I am working out and tracking my food. Now I'm not sure how to track the sushi I had tonight, but whatever.... I know......I know.......

I think that I had a profound experience last week when I went to a meditation, yoga and tea workshop. The leader said, think of a person you love. Place them in your mind in a circle of the love, with all the warmth, acceptance, vitality and belief in them. Feel that energy, now remove them and place yourself in that circle. Feel that energy for you, around you, and within you. We all deserve that love and acceptance from ourselves as well as the world. But so much of my self esteem gets into how others view me, but the place where I can control it, the only place of true power; is, much more importantly, how I view myself. Try this exercise, I was shocked how much I needed my own surround of love and acceptance. Hugs to you all...

LLSibley - my heart goes out to you. It took six years after my husband of only 5 years, died to even want to breathe. Yes, unfortunately there are lots of us here. You are doing great with your band! Are you exercising too? Indigo55 - I didn't have to jump through all the hoops you are, I was a self-pay for $10,000 with Dr. Kirshenbaum in Denver. He has lots of people flying in here for the surgery. Then they make other arrangements for fill docs near to their house. It has been a great experience for me. watchband - you will probably have to go the self-pay route to get banded, but I think this is the answer to yo yo dieting. I can lose the weight, but always regained it before I regained my focus for a healthy life. The band isn't easy, but it will stall a great regaining of weight. Don't get me wrong, you can eat around the band and gain weight, but you really have to work harder at it and hopefully sanity will come back to me before I totally relapse. Carlene - having just said that, rejoice that you haven't regained the bulk of your weight and you know that you can do it. You deserve this healthier life! BJean - actually you sound like you are in a better place. You can do this. I started posting my daily intake on www.calorieking.com As soon as I got honest, my daily intake dropped. Hugs, you deserve a healthy life you know. Hugs to you all,

Is it a wonder that we feel the catch 22? This is what I've gone through: 1) gaining weight and feeling social shunning of various kinds 2) yo yo dieting and feeling elation and failure over and over 3) having medical, emotional, and physical reactions to my obesity 4) having to justify the band to myself (will this work when so many other things have failed?) 5)then people want to judge me for making a positive, healthful decision Well phooey on them.... I think it is marvelous that we become our own cheerleaders, the hell with the rest of them, the chubbies and the thin ones. Only the people here know why we got banded, that it isn't an "easy" way out, that all the demons that were there are still there, that we are like marathon runners - support me through the gauntlet or get away from my life - there isn't room for any negative, judgmental thinking. Ok...ok... I'm off my soapbox. Love you guys for understanding. i've come home here.