CowgirlJane

I would not have known this except for choosing surgeons that had this perspective... I would never go to a surgeon for bariatric surgery unless they have an in depth understanding of the metabolic disease of obesity AND they are capable of articulating it to patients (and their support staff is on the same page) This probably sounds a little crazy, but the support from the actual surgeons about how I got into the mess I was in removed so much guilt and unnecessary angst from my emotional state. I had never in my life had a medical professional explain to me how it was that no matter what I tried, I just gained more weight than I started with from dieting. It also put a context for me of how seriously I needed to take the nutritional and behavioral changes when I decided to get the sleeve. So, i would never go to a surgeon that didn't have an affiliation with a top notch, educated on metabolic disease/obesity. I will take it a step further, i wouldn't go unless they had a carefully orchestrated plan for the preop, post op, weight loss and maintenance phases. I don't care if the plan is from the surgeon or the NUT, but it needs to be based on the latest research, kept modern and up to date, and delivered in a clear, compassionate way to the patient who is going through very emotional times (Weight loss surgery!) I would also hope the surgeon had a larger support structure around his/her practice - access to support groups, access to people in the office to answer all the little questions that come up (surgeon's assistants and nurses etc). I think so highly of the practice I picked, that I go to them now for any medical thing that they happen to do in that practice. Example, they do colonoscopies and I feel confident going to them. They also have a small "cosmetic" practice and I have gone to them for laser hair removal. Everything i have done with them is top notch.

On another forum there is a very active poster who continually preaches that "eat whatever you want, when you want" as the sleeve will moderate the quantity. That might be true for some, but it isn't true for this middle aged woman! If I eat whatever i want, whenever i want and just rely on the sleeve I will weigh over 300# again. I respect that not everyone has the same situation, but for many of us, we have to chose the "what" we eat carefully too. I am not too bothered by others finding that out on their own, it does concern me sometimes that newbies will consider that generally good advice that applies to them. i fear they won't find out if that is the case until well after the "honeymoon" period is over and them be disappointed in results. And lets be clear, I do sometimes have pizza, I do drink wine, I do eat normal stuff other people eat and am maintaining near goal. However, I would be under goal (like I was) if I didn't eat that stuff. Again, I am female and of an age when we seem to need do little food to maintain weight...

I lost at a normal rate even though I was band to sleeve revision. I think there are many factors but #1 my band had been no fill for many years and I had regained (plus more ) years before my revision and 2) I asked what to beware of as a revisionista and it was tolerating that feel if a full esophagus. Some bandsters get used to that feeling. ..I was very conscious of portions sizes because that has always been my downfall.

I get it, but I failed with a lapband...so 10 years later I intentionally sought a surgical practice with strong aftercare afters I recognized that was one of many reasons I didn't do well with lapband. I had a Rockstar NUT my first year post op and it made a huge difference.

S @@Sweet Pee thank you for sharing. I do think it is relevant to mention your starting BMI or weight because the hard cold reality is that it makes a difference. Not to minimize ANYONE'S achievements but for those of that started super morbidly obese or high BMI...our realities are a bit different. Having said that. I was 52 BMI..and my lifetime high was even bigger and I love how I turned out...so there is hope for all of us!

I took the attitude that I picked the best"program/surgeon" available to me....so might as well follow what they have used with many successful patients. I have been doing that for 3.5 years, and in fact their program has changed in that time so I tune in for updates too. It's been working for me.

I took the survey but am curious why you didn't ask about aftercare provided by surgeon? The premise is that many don't get adequate aftercare...but it was never asked.

My kindle doesn't play well with bariatric pal...sorry. Anyway, Doug asked me whats the highest drama, biggest problem in my life right now. I told him about some of my current health issues and he was really positive and encouraging. It reminded me of why I tend to bond closely with one person, I LIKE feeling cared for even if it isn't lifetime love. One of many things that is cool about Doug is that like me, he hasn't found true love while dating, but he's made friends. I have too and "get" that mature and realistic view of this madness. I am going to think about it, but heck, what's a few weeks to see if we grow something, even just a friendship?

So I have a very small delimna. I mentioned I have gone on some date a, not pushing it or working it hard at all... I like Dan who is a musician but he lives too far away and isn't as fit as I prefer. We were supposed to go to a music festival today where he plays with one act (Austin Jenke) and we were going to see the rest together. He just got back from a music gig in Nashville so spread thin (remember he has a full time tech job too). Anyway he got 2 more gigs today so it turned into a few hours not all day at this festival. He wants to see me but I cancelled...too complicated and time pressed. I fear there will be alot of this so I never visualize this becoming serious, I just enjoy his company and the music. I had my second date with Doug last night and he wants me to give it a try seeing him exclusively for awhile. I get his point, as long as you are open to that next email it can interfere with developing anything. As I type this I am not sure why I am hesitant because I am not into anyone else and am actually not that into meeting anyone. Maybe because I feel not ready to let myself get attached? I am a contradiction because I want a summer of light fun dating.but I am never drawn to the"playmate" type. Heck even when I did have a "playmate"(Steven who was intentionally chosen while I was still entangled with my EX) we fell in some sort of love with each other and had a heck of a time disentangling.

View consumption of food/nutrition as a prescription... at this phase it really isnt about enjoyment. good news is that later, it gets much better! I am surprised you aren't on Protein drinks. AS soon as I was cleared for "full liquids" it was Water and Protein Drinks. The trick I was given was to serve them in a shot glass...haha.. with a goal to down a shot every 30 minutes!

Current recommendations, as I understand them are 80++ grams of Protein a day for most of us - but it depends on your weight, activity, build etc. I don't normally track (been in maintenance for awhile) but did a few days as a check in and was shocked I was only getting 60. I was telling a pal who works as a dieticien in a bariatric unit... she looked at me and said "with your muscular build, you need WAY more than that". Even as a veteran, it was an eye opener/wake up!

So, I have to admit, I have had a terrible week. I am the first to admit, it is alot of feeling sorry for myself. Bottom line I am facing some health issues and I feel just overwhelmed by them. I won't bore you with the details, and alot of other people have been through worse but i feel so alone right now. I have been separated from my ex for few years now... and times like now i wish I had him in my life. Pity party

I am not following... how is this calculator any different? I mean if I was trying to have less than 50g of carbs, about 80g of protein... everything else is fat. That is more or less what the calculator says too...

Alot of us fear regain. My revision to the sleeve was Dec 2011, and I can tell you my personal experience matches the statistics, it gets harder to maintain the further out you go. I am maintaining within about 5# of my goal weight, but wishing i was UNDER my goal like I used to be... I am up around 20# from my lowest weight. anyway, I was thinking about all the doubts I had preop. I was suggested to get the sleeve by my sleep apnea doctor who correctly diagnosed that I was on a path to early death with a side trip through disability. I gave him all the arguments why WLS was a bad idea - all the risks etc but the main one being "doesn't everybody always regain?" He knew the stats so was able to talk percentages (most people regain some, not all) but more impactful was him asking me a couple of questions. 1. Imagine you got to goal, and within 5 years you had regained 50% of the weight you lost... would it still be worth it to have had all that time living a normal, healthy life, where you can move around freely, fit in socially... all that stuff? My answer was of course YES 2. Imagine the same as above, only in 10 years you do regain all the lost weight. A whole decade of living healthier, trimmer (maybe not thin, but way improved over where I was) - would that be worth it? My answer was of course YES I have taken my own doubts and turned them into motivation. I KNOW that it is hard to maintain. Look around - not just formerly morbidly obese - even "normal people" have trouble keeping trim in their middle ages. I view my struggle now as at least possible. I feel like my sleeve has made me more like on an even playing field with all the other 50 year old women working to keep from aquiring a spare tire. Ask any of us, it's a b*tch. So, for me, this has been worth it but have no illusions, the work continues day after day... in some ways I think maintenance is harder than the losing phase. I think it is human nature to want to cross the finish line, declare victory, and call it good. Doesn't work that way...

I went to the same PCP for about 12 years and in the end I just decided she simply "did not get it" She is a very thin woman and felt that if I just bought the right cookbooks, learned how to cook healthy that would solve everything. I felt like she had absolutely no idea the battles a person faces from a lifetime (or long term) of overweight and obesity. The cookbook comment was the last straw after many years... My surgeon's office was expert with the insurance and really my PCP had nothing to do with it - thank goodness! Good luck, I know it is hard to go through this process and you hope for some support.

Live the pic.. is he standing on tippy toes because he too wants high heels?

Use it to make smoothies. vanilla premier Protein with strawberries and ice in my nutribullet and it's delish! Also, I use the vanilla in my coffee instead of cream. Otherwise I don't like the vanilla either... I like the chocolate and strawberry flavors better.

I have gone on a couple of casual dates. I saw someone named Jim a few times... nice man, family oriented, fit, many good attributes but he just did not appeal to me. needy was the big reason. Also, do you ever meet someone who meets your requirements, and yet you still just don't find them appealing? weird. I decided to not keep seeing him. I have seen a man named Dan a few times - he is a Data Scientist at a big software company but is ALSO a professional musician. He is fun. i wish he were fitter, but I really enjoy his company so I am going to keep seeing him... still very light and casual. I am going to watch him play music for the second time at a big festival that is coming up - looking forward to that. The person I just met, Doug was a bit of a surprise. We just had a glass of wine and delicious shrimp at the restaurant at the Willows Lodge and talked for hours. I think we are going either out on his (very small) boat or perhaps for a hike this weekend. To be honest, i am not feeling very relationship ready at the moment. I feel like the longer I am single, the less I am interested in something that fits the traditional "relationship" mode. I dont know what is wrong with me, but I just see it as not really worth the effort. I am having some health problems right now too ... and I suspect that impacts my attitude as well.

Well, I only needed heartburn drugs for the first couple of months. Do you think taking proselec for very short term is that risky? How about Nexium? I don't believe pepcid is really effective, I think a strong ppi is what most of us need to quiet down the acid over production in those early days.

You are right...there is no end in sight for any of us. Maintenance is a whole different head trip...and definitely a continuation of the journey...

Denise I only wanted comments deleted if we add them. Since we are just holding steady, doesn't matter to me. As far as I am concerned you have my blessing to reply to requests that we aren't accepting new members, not about 5:2, and will likely shut down vs expanding. I don't want you to feel bad for having to be the messenger! Florinda, I ask myself if weighing 165 is better than 200, 300 and universally the answer is YES. I get frustrated too and wish I was trimmer/thin as I used to be. 145 seems impossible to me right now...and yet I keep coming back to avoiding the all or nothing thinking. For me, maintaining right here, even though I wish for skinniness, is a good place to be. Perhaps losing 5# a month is realistic and it is still a good place to be? I took my first salsa and bachata lesson. Salsa was hard for me.... I missed out doing the swing thing this week because I was on a"first date" that went way long and I lost track of time!

As far as I know FAT=Calories. However, i don't worry about limiting fat or calories (of course I am currently over goal so perhaps you shouldn't ask me!) I do think there is some "power" to mixing things up a bit. It is so frustrating, but imagine you could lose 5# a month until you get to goal... and then hold steady. Visualize where you would be in a year .... I get frustrated too, but I am even thinking if I can lose 1 or 2 # a month that is a victory!

I saw that you have children of your own... qualifies you as a "grown up" in my book. It is very hard for people to understand the disease process called obesity. Most people see obesity as a "behavioral issue" but for the very overweight, it is much more complex issue. I had/have trim/think pals. I don't know why, but I have always been active, into horses and I guess my circle includes outdoorsy active people. I got alot of support from that crowd because they saw me struggle for years with very limited and temporary success. Also, horse people are educated on insulin resistance in horses and I could explain it to them in ways they could understand why I get fat eating a "normal" diet and not everyone else does... So, I think that as hard as it is, you need to develop confidence in your WLS decision and realize that you probably won't have your female relatives cheering you on. As hard as it is to accept, truth is, this is largely a solo endeavor anyway... My EX brought my sons to visit me post surgery as they were terrified I was going to die - it was sweet, but it exhausted me to put on a good face for my boys.... truth is, it would have been better for me to have seen them the next day when I got home. In the end, I have found that I need to find my success "internally" - junk food around the house, holidays, parties, you name it - i had to face those demons on my own (and with my friends from this forum!!!)

If you are really in the early weeks, you just can't trust your tummy to tell you when to stop. It takes about 6 weeks or so for nerves to heal etc. I think the suggestions you have received are very good ones... eat 2 bites less than you think you need and see how that goes... Longer term, this is tough to get rid of the idea of seeking "full". I was told to seek satiation. Well, my whole life I ahven't felt "satisfied" unless I was full, so I had to adopt a "no longer hungry" criteria. Even that was always hard to know... but it is alot less food then you might think. I know it is tempting to think you are malnourished or not getting enough, but truth is that as long as you are meeting hydration and Protein goals, and take your Vitamins you are FINE. Hang in there, it gets easier!

Yea! congrats on your life changing decision1