CowgirlJane

But @@Chuckster, I am an adult woman and I CAN'T maintain a weight of 140 on 2000 calories a day. i don't know why, but it is my reality. What is your purpose coming here anyway? Do you think we are all so stupid as to not realize and try diet and exercise? I am one of the strongest advocates you will find for telling people to try everything before WLS - but your post is very judgemental and assumes that the "reality" of a tall male is the same as the reality of a middle aged, not so tall female (nothing personal guys, but seriously, some of us don't get to eat much and maintain a healthy weight!!!). Educating people is fine, but your post just stinks of essentially the old stereotypes that overweight and obese people are lazy, stupid, unmotivated people. while I guess we could all find examples of that stereotype, the truth is that many of us are highly motivated, successful in many avenues of our lives but could not control weight without the help of an effective tool. Speaking for myself, presleeve I was physically HUNGRY 24/7. At nearly 4 years out, much of my hunger has returned, but it is nothing like the all consuming drive to eat that i used to fight every minute of every day. No diet or program in the world ever changed the fact that the hunger was just overwhelming Medically as health as me? How would you know that? BTW, I am a research scientist. I have been weight stable for 4 years. There is no going back to my selfish, shameful and gluttonous ways. I have a higher purpose and responsibility. As to you calling me Chuckie, I used to have the name Chunkster because I was big chunk of lazy couch blubber. Now I have dropped the N and the people who called me Chunkster call me Chuckster. Why are you being so nasty and condescending? It sounds like you want me to fail. Carnie Wilson has had 2 weight loss surgeries and she has managed to circumvent both of them. Marie Osmond has remained lean by eating less. Perhaps Marie Osmond has a better moral center that Carnie who comes off as a real self-centered jerk so it is not surprising that she is also very self-indulgent and food-centric. Marie is a class act. I shared this story with others who are struggling with their eating behaviors to let them know that it is possible to lose weight the old fashioned way i.e. moving more and eating less. Your defense of MDs is without facts. The leading cause of death and injury in the US is the medical industry. The US medical industry is also the biggest thief and according to Blue Cross Blue Shield at least 1/3 of what Americans pay for health care is waste and fraud. I can post all sorts of links and graphics show how American MD have become a menace and actually do more harm than good. I can show you that the largest criminal fines are against the medical industry, I can show you that America pay over $9000 per capita for health care and is ranked 37th for quality which put it lowest in the industrialized world. Cuba spends less than 200 dollars per capita and they are ranked 38th. Answer this question. The most weight a moderately active woman can maintain on 2000 calories per day is just shy of 140 pounds. And BTW the human body cannot defy the 2nd law of thermodynamics or any other physical laws. Tell me all the reason for why you could not eat 2000 calories or lesseveryday. Tell me why you could not select healthy wholesome foods and eat them in the proper amounts? Do you even know basic nutrition? Does your surgeon even know basic nutrition? I freely admit that I was a glutton.

Shall I join the chorus of people who have lost significant amounts of weight only to regain it plus finding a few friends? I am really thrilled for you, but don't assume the rest of us are so ignorant we haven't tried everything under the sun already.

Back in the good ole days (like 3 years ago) we as a group tended to post alot of photos to our profiles - there for everyone to see. If you still use a laptop, you can click on mine and see my before and afters and even some progress pix. Now that everyone uses the mobile app and apparently the profile is no longer relevant on this website. I think it is really too bad because I personally got lots and lots of inspiration from the progress photos! There are also a couple of very long running threads called "post your progress photos" where many of us have posted. That thread is so long I have probably posted to it twice - haha. The important thing about the collage I am attaching is me in the green top is post weight loss, pre plastics with NO spanx. I normally did wear spanx and looked pretty okay before plastics but without them, you can the "melted snowman" look. for me, getting my arms done made me look so much smaller, it was incredible. Funny thing was that was the plastic surgery i was most scared of due to scarring. Now, nearly 2 years post plastics my scars are only noticed when I point them out (or to busy bodies who look for stuff like that - but who cares, right?)

Dan has a brother that lives in Scotland. They are of scottish origin - big tall dudes with big beards - that family seriously look like they jumped out of the cast of Braveheart...haha. Anyway, it would be a very awesome place to visit!

The plot thickens... PCP says that there are blood vessels feeding the alien invasion in my right boob. Biopsy is tomorrow. .. it is actually getting scarier

My profile has photos of my plastics results, including the lower body lift. My surgeon provided the phase 1 garments. I purchased stage 2 garments because they made me feel more "secure". I think that choosing a surgeon is important, very important. I also think actually following their advice is critical! I am on a Facebook group with my surgeon's patients and it is shocking to me how many people push the limit and wind up creating problems for themselves by "overdoing it". Lower body lift and probably thigh lift are just much bigger deal then some people realize in terms of time for true and full recovery. I am thrilled with my results, but the first time I heard of a lower body lift, i about passed out...lol. It took me quite awhile to "get over" the idea of a 360 incision but I am so glad I did it!

Just got a call regarding my MRI. No evidence that implant is leaking... but filled with Fluid in the "encapsulation" that needs to be drained and sent to a lab for analysis. Good news, unlikely I need a new implant, bad news... still no freaking idea of what is wrong.

The intake people lied and said it would only be 12 minutes. Then it was 20 minutes... in reality it was 40 minutes of . Even though the valium was super strong, i still had some anxiety. I wouldn't have made it without the valium though! Glad it is behind me. I don't believe in Prince Charming. Best i can tell, the males in the world are terribly flawed individuals just muddling their way through the world... same as us.I would argue maybe not as well as we are muddling through... This sounds really really bad but i am just hoping for a guy who doesn't drag me down. If he bolsters me up, makes like better - awesome! but my expectations are low. Actually, at the moment I am just staying away from expections. I have been seeing Dan exclusively, not because I feel like I am in an exclusive relationship but rather I don't have time or even desire to meet others. It is going good, but I doubt it will be permanent. My friend Mary keeps pushing me - why aren't I more enthusiastic etc etc. I finally had to tell her to back off - don't need this "pressure" to find Mr Right. There is no Mr Right, just deciding what works in my life...

Well, I have done this is well only I won't claim that it only took a year..ha. I have cautiously entered two true relationships since being single last few years only to find that what was under the surface, wasn't what it seemed. Relationship #1 the guy was just negative. I didn't realize until then that I don't like how I feel being with a judgmental person. I am glad I had that experience because it has become one of my litmus tests. Many months after that relationship ended, I was on a date with a guy who seemed fun until we went to a concert in the park when he couldn't resist commenting on other people. "she looks like a barely functional alcoholic" "can't believe she thinks she looks good in that" "people shouldnt bring children to loud music, that is what babysitters are for" sort of remarks about random people that i didn't even notice. I was just having fun, enjoying the music and crowd! It really hit me that I don't want to spend time with someone who looks at a crowd or situation... and just instinctually judges the details. It makes me feel bad. It was liberating to clarify this point in my mind. My real cautionary tale from someone I started seeing late this winter. Super fella, unusual character (like me!) - not everyone's cup of tea but his big negatives on the dating marketplace (avid fisher, hunter, into taxidermy which in my part of the country is seen as horrible) was no problem for me as I am a country girl at heart. I really enjoyed being with him and we did so many fun, diverse activities together... i also shared many values with him. I loved what a hard worker, ambitious and yet family oriented person he is. My friends thought he was da bomb too, he easily folded into my extended crew of pals. However, our relationship did not become intimate, which was my first sign of trouble...haha Here was what was under the hood - under all that eagerness to find a woman like me was a deep seated fear of relationships. Not just a romantic one, but i came to understand that there was baggage way way beyond carry on size that was well masked, at first anyway. When we ended it, he felt terrible, he felt like he had lied (well he had - but mostly to himself). I viewed it as dodging a bullet actually even though i was disappointed that a person who seemed so compatible might as well have been married or something for his lack of emotional availability. My point is this - by middle age alot of people know what they want and can say it. Some of them (wondering if I fall in this category actually) have gotten so dang picky there chances of having a real relationship diminishes since NOBODY meets the criteria. I am becoming okay with the idea of flying solo for the rest of my life - if it comes to that, so be it. then you have people who think they understand themselves and what they want and so carefully cultivate that image, but in truth have deep pain, history, baggage whatever you wanna call it and simply cannot go deeper then a superficial relationship. The key here is to escape early before you get sucked into it. And then, there are the clueless, who have no idea who they are, what they seek in life, who is compatible with them etc . I realize that not everyone is a self reflective as I am, but I do think there needs to be a minimum amount of assessing what the next phase of life holds. Then of course there are people who know what they want. Mr negative guy (that I had an actual relationship #1 with) had a very clear idea of what he was seeking and the primary reason we ended it is we didn't fall in love and he wanted someone to marry and spend the rest of his life with. Just hope she doesn't mind be subtly criticised every day...because i sure did!

I love this. My own personal motto... at least try to make DIFFERENT mistakes next time - ha!

I think a cheater will cheat and being a controlling ass doesn't help. Controlling asses just destroy good relationships. Some people are cheats plain and simple. Having said all that I know two married women who cheat and I am quite sure it is because they are deeply unhappy in their marriages. They feel unloved and ignored by their spouses. In one case, she has felt so "controlled " by her spouse that an affair was her path to liberation. She left him and he has never discovered the affair. So my take on it is that if you wanna fix it you have to get to the heart of the reason. Some people will always cheat while others are (inappropriately ) crying for something that is profoundly missing. Did you know that most marriages are ended by the woman? I don't think we are that complicated but speaking for myself, unable to live in a soul crushing lonely relationship. Ok, I don't know about those personality types. Not really understanding how they are drawn to each other.

I survived... could have used more Valium though.

As someone who has had a "failed" WLS, I can really see how a person construes their own experience as facts. Clearly, the OP did not actually have her "facts" right but did share her personal experience. This thread has a lot of passionate responses since so many of us found a "chance" at controlling obesity with the sleeve and are somewhat zealous in our ferver. I still call "unnecessary roughness" on this thread. WE can all see that mistakes were made and things said in a way that wasn't an accurate representation of our experiences or even of controlled studies.... but sheesh. I am a freaking idiot for believing my band surgeon who told me i would be happy eating "petite portions" of high quality food and it would solve my weight issues. It could not have been further from the truth because during most of the banded life I was starving/drive for food and then would experience pain when I ate (unless it was sliders - so guess what happened to my eating habits!!). Anyway, if I were to write a story about my band experience in 2005 ( I was banded in 2001) it probably would have sounded as mixed up as this post did. Probably wouldn't have helped me much to be bashed about the head for my ignorance. Just something to think about in terms of how we treat each other.

Having breast mri today. I am wound up and terrified of the claustrophobia. They promise me drugs to calm me but I having a pre anxiety attack over it! What I keep telling myself is that I need this to know next steps... so it will reduce stress. I just hate medical tests and especially claustrophobic ones!

So, one reason my NUT was so good was because she did more than spew facts. She intuitively guided and pointed out times when I repeated old patterns. She answered questions honestly but also gave me much hope and encouragement. Now let's contrast that to the psych clearance requirement. Completely useless for me. Best I could tell they were screening for mental illness that could interfere with ability to understand and comply with program. Ok, check, addressed the small portion of truely mentally ill, what about the most of us that could have used more"advice" on living post surgery, the ups and downs of body image, maintenance struggles. Oh wait, I got that from the NUT since the psych person was pretty clueless and was actually against WLS

Sounds like a smart plan. My blood work was perfect and I was bruising like mad...

People can love you. ..regardless of your weight. I think loving others is a good way to invite this into your life. Dan is a loving person, for example, he exudes acceptance and love without even needing to be " in love". Not much of a chatter Denise, but I am happy to look at your profile and critique. Have any guy pals who would look at it for you?

A year ago I had that problem really bad. I had huge bruises between my knees just from sleeping on my side! Part of the problem was I got too thin. even though the nutrient analysis showed no problems, i do believe it was related to nutrition. I was put on a natural remedy called "veinoblend" that provides additonal micronutrient support beyond the multi Vitamin. I started eating more (I was well into maintance when this happened to me) and it solved the problem. Try looking into a tempory iinfusion of a vein support remedy from a health food store.

While I have made it clear that I think many of the "facts" presented aren't really facts but opinion. Another example - calorie math that 1pound = 3500 cals for example has a lot of flaws. I should weight about zero by now if it were true. I also think that many of the responses were unkind, unnecarily harsh and missed the main point. The original poster regrets the sleeve, hasn't had long term success and is suggesting another way especially for younger/less obese people. You may not agree with that opinion, may not like the way it was expressed, but I think people do a dis service by "poo pooing" negative experiences. I know of longer term sleevers who no longer actively post who struggle with weight regain and are disappointed too. Why don't you hear from them - they don't need the judgement and crap thrown back at them by people who are currently experiencing success. I would not want a newbie to be turned off to considering WLS based on one persons experience, however, I do think the heartfelt message shared should give ANYBODY a bit of "food for thought" about the long term consequences of the sleeve or any other WLS. You know, our attitude is often shaped by our results. I sometimes have minor digestive problems post sleeve - I don't even think about it, consider it a negative or complication because my overall quality of life has moved up the scale about a million points. If I didn't feel so positively about my results - i might view those "side effects" very negatively too. I also think that we have different experiences. I don't gurlge, burb, whistel or anything like that although when I am hungry my tummy is prone to rumble. Most new friends don't even know I have WLS surgery. I am just a light eater who goes easy on the carbs to maintain my "figure". Anyway, the OP is gonna do what she is gonna do and I think deep down we all want the very best for her. Don't be so defensive about the rest. We all have to find our own path and the process ain't always pretty is it?

How is chicago? I need to visit that city! I obviously have no good advice on how to feel better... but I am a "fake it till you make it" believer. I had dinner last night with a pal who has a different kind of "blues" then i am subject to- she just shuts down. Doesn't think, doesn't feel, doesn't want to do anything but go to work and go home. She has been in this funk for a good long time... works maybe 70 plus hours a week because that is all she really has in her life right now. I had shared (inadvertenly) how I feel so much better when I am active, connect with people, and infuse FUN into my everyday life. It doesn't necessarily fix things in my life, and maybe somethings aren't "fixable" but it makes the journey alot more enjoyable! I was feeling blue about my hip problem, my breast swelling, my love life, my farm and horse life etc etc. I wasn't intending to give advice, as a talkative, wear my heart on my sleeve kinda person i often share my own insights as part of my process - not about giving advice - but she acted on it. Saturday night she rousted me into going out - it is hard to say no when a pal like her finally actually WANTs to go do something. Then she drug me back to 2 step Tuesday even though I wasn't going to go this week. Then, she spontanously asked me to dinner last night. I cannot maintain this schedule...haha... but she told me should could not believe how much better she feels. It is like she had to force herself to step out the door and start living a little... and then wants to keep doing it! she is a lifelong introvert so I know this is WAY too much for her but it is kind of priming the pump a little into enjoying each day. Truth of the matter is I find lots of reasons to hate myself. I was raised by a father who constantly told me how worthless, fat, ugly stupid and essentially a waste of space I was. That voice still speaks to me at times and after years of counseling etc etc I am somewhat resigned to the fact that I will probably always struggle a bit emotionally. I am pissed that I am still dealing with obesity problems (my joint issues, my boob issue etc) when I want it to be in the PAST but it is my reality. It is okay to be pissed, but I am NOT going to let it steal the breaths I have left. My biggest "regret" in life - and i don't believe in regrets since it is a complete waste - but my biggest regret is that i let some of my emotional baggage interfere with living a full life at times. I can blame it on the obesity, but my weight was not actually the central issue - it was the self hatred, anxiety, and a whole slew of other things. I argue that thin does not equal happy or contentment. When we get so focused on one thing, we miss out on living a full life. Well, that is my experience anyway.

I believe I understand your intention with this remark, but I can't help but mention that those in the first 2 years post op have very little understanding of the experience at the longer term mark. I will be 4 years post op in December and this year has been much tougher maintaining then the first 2-3 years were. I keep asking myself, have I slipped back to old bad habits? Maybe a little, but i think it is more that I am living like a "normal" middle aged American woman and look around, alot of them could stand to lose 20 or 50. I am bouncing around 5-10 over goal and not happy about it, but my efforts to knock them back off haven't been very successful... I am very very happy that I still wear single digit clothing and look like a normal, not obese person though... and I am continuing to work it - with the first goal being to NOT regain any more...

@@jenn1 If you are still losing hair at over a year post op, I was advised that is most likely nutritional based. Hair loss occuring in the first year are quite likely more related to the surgery itself. My guidebook - which I still keep beside my desk by the way even after all these years - says to first suspect Iron and zinc deficiencies. Protein, especially the amino acid l-lysine might be the culprit too. My data is like 4 years old at this point but I think this info is still true. Look into the iron and zinc if you believe you are consuming adequate high quality protein. When I had surgery they said 60grams plus on the protein but my center has now revised to 80 g plus. I have a new friend who is a dietician at a different bariatric program and she told me that due to my high muscle mass type build I seriously need to be in the 80-100gram range.

The NUT I had pre op and the first 8-9 months post op was AMAZING. She was not only well informed, highly communicitive but she was intuitive and helped guide me to finding a way of living post WLS that worked for ME. However, she moved away and the replacement knew less about the sleeve and nutrition then I did. After our first meeting she thanked ME for informing her of so much as she had only seen patients in very early weeks post op so far. I was like...sigh. I had gone through the preop process with a different surgeon (for bypass) before deciding on the program I went with. One reason I switched docs is that NUT was terrible, absolutely terrible. Years before I decided I had an eating disorder (otherwise how could I be so fat, right?) and went to a clinic for that. They decided I didn't have an eating disorder, but rather disordered eating. Okay. So, I got to their nutritionalist and she had me play with plastic food - you know, like a child might have in a play kitchen. It was insulting, humiliating and made me think that the whole profession just thinks that FAT=STUPID. I can read, I can comprehend but what I couldn't do is overcome the all consuming hunger I was experiencing and playing games with plastic food did not help with any of THAT. Never went back. So, a really good NUT is not only educated in food, exercise and the bariatric experience but is also intuitive and educated about "people" A good one seems rare and yet so worth it if you find one!

I am genuinely sorry you haven't experienced lasting success post WLS. I went through that - I lost about 70 pounds with the band, regained it all plus a whole crap load more. Most on this forum know the emotional pain of losing and regaining huge amounts of weight (I had ton it before too) but somehow having it post WLS is even more... devastating. I was in my 30s when I had the lapband, I made a genuine effort to educate myself pre surgery, I tried very hard post surgery and yet I failed. In hindsight, a big part of the problem is that tool never worked well for me and the side effects made my life hell (talk about reflux - I had to sleep upright if I had ANY fill!) but also that I just didn't have all the pieces together myself either. While i am in the minority, I actually agree with much of your sentiment. WLS is not a miracle cure and even though we all say we know it's "just a tool" in reality many don't understand that the tool doesn't work very well over time. It works great at first, and then one day you realize... holy crap... this REALLY IS just a tool and I can regain weight even with my tiny tummy. I am always in the minority opinion on this one - but I also am "uncomfortable" with younger/not as heavy people diving into weight loss surgery. Especially if they really haven't seriously tried lifestyle/behavioral programs. In fact, when I was revised to the sleeve, I was looking for a long term behavior program. I had the good luck to be screened by the director of a 2 year program who told me that my disease of obesity was far too advanced and she felt I would not be successful in her program (I was late 40s and at least 150# overweight and had been obese or overweight many many years). However, much of your other information shared is not correct and is misleading and while I don't intend this as a criticism, I don't want newbies to read it and not comprehend the misstatements of fact. (Everyone is entitled to their opnions - but not their own version of the facts!!!) Muscle loss is an important topic no matter HOW you lose weight. strength and muscle building (and aerobic) exercise is more about MAINTENANCE than it is about weight loss. why is that? If you don't maintain (or regain after losing) muscle mass your metabolism drops and it is really much harder to maintain. I lost a crudload of weight post sleeve and I think I look GREAT. People who didn't know me before are always shocked that I lost so much because I look healthy and athletic (thats a joke!) like I have been trim and active my whole life. That "looking old and unhealthy" is a complete myth. I have had people look at my before (age 48) and after (50) photos tell me that I now look like my "before" pictures daughter. That is how much younger I look post weight loss. I think many people who are dissatisfied with their looks, dissatisfied with having a smaller tummy (for me a blessing!) are in truth struggling with other, underlying issues such as dismorphia etc. Don't get me wrong, I have "issues" - ha! As a wise woman once said on these forums "you don't get to 300# and not have SOMETHING going on contributing to this". The physical disease process of obesity is the rollercoaster i couldn't get off without surgery, but the "issues" contributed to me getting there in the first place. The difference is i am now mature enough to seriously face that emotional stuff. Not perfect, but getting better and better. Good luck in your future and know that you can regain good health quite readily by going back to basics as far as eating (sleever rules!) AND by exercising and becoming active. Perhaps focus less on the scale and focus more on good health.

I lost more than you have and I had no medical reason for skin removal....no rash or whatever...I just wanted it the same as I wanted to get rid of my 3x sweatpants... I didn't even try for insurance approval. Get several consults. Go to realself.com to see tons of before and after photos. I advise you to seek out people with similar"befores" as how you look. Docs can cherry pick amazing results...the 35 year old mommy make over who was never obese is a different profile than a late 40s woman who lost almost 170#. It is the best way to get educated...pick good local surgeons and do the free or cheap consults.