CowgirlJane

Dr Weiner of Frankfurt Germany? He did my original band in 2001. I went through menopause young - mid 40s. Never given a reason but I attribute it to extreme stress. My doc said she had a woman under 30 go into menopause for no apparent reason so I guess it happens. Who knows for sure the"why"? It made me sad when it happened to me too, I am sorry you have this experience.

Florinda, we have all been there. I think you must know that our worth isn't about the kids we have or the number on the scale. Easy for me to say, I know. But I think you also know it is true. I finally got my mammogram with follow up ultrasound. great news - no sign of cancer. Bad news, need MR next. I feel like a piece of crap that I have to be sedated to handle an MR without freaking out. Most likely implant needs to be replaced which frankly is NOt the end of the world but I feel pretty low right now, right this minute. I think on an emotional level, i want my lifetime of obesity to be BEHIND me, but it isn't. Between this, needing hip replacement and my knees killing me it is like a constant reminder of all that history that is still my present reality. sorry to be so depressing. On the fun front, did a partial weekend away with Dan - I had a great time. He has a loving personality and as I mentioned I value that alot even though i am not "in love". It is nice to be with someone who genuinely feels compassion and caring to me as well as thinking I am cute.

Although not as good a protein source as Greek yogurt I also like carbmaster!

I think a great choice but I sprinkled blueberries and stevia to make it palatable.

Glad you loved the concert! I am super into live music! @@feedyoureye best thing about Dan isn't the live music..it's his lovey dove nature. In my book, too few expressive caring people. You don't have to be "in love" to express warmth and caring and I appreciate it very much! Anybody know how to block someone? There is someone on bariatric pal that I just don't want to read them anymore. .don't want to see their posts or replies.

I would be most curious 5 years out how the other weight loss methods fared. Ship has sailed for me as I did revise to sleeve on 2011 and am happy with it. Like everyone I wish I could have done this without surgery but I couldn't. I don't mind. I developed a heart arrythmia (atrial fibrillation) around 18 months post op. The band surrounds the vagus nerve which controls, among other things, heart rhythm. I ended up in ER with my heart completely out of rhythm, beating at a rate that was close to having me have a stroke, and blood pressure also sky high. It took seven hours to bring everything around using medication, and now I'm on medication for life. I had my band's restriction loosened so as not to touch on the vagus nerve and just went back in last month to get a bit of fill as I'm gaining weight and hungry all the time. Immediately following the small fill, I went back into atrial fibrillation. That's pretty conclusive evidence that there is a correlation, at least with my particular anatomy. If you google gastric band, or lap band + atrial fibrillation, you will see a lot of people who have now experienced this. There are several on this forum right here. So yes, I regret what I did. Living with a-fib is no picnic, and the side effects of the three medicines I now have to take have greatly compromised my quality of life: extreme fatigue, memory loss, inability to do any sports that might raise my heartrate...wish I had chosen a different path. Would a sleeve revision correct the afib?Unfortunately, no. Once you have afib, you have afib. In fact, afib begets afib. In other words, once the electricity in your heart becomes chaotic (which is basically what afib is), it will constantly create new "bad" pathways in your heart. According to my cardiologist, it is unlikely that even removing the band will make the afib disappear, as the band has already done its damage. All I can do is keep it loose and off the vagus nerve, and continue with my meds (or, in the future, ablation or pacemaker if the afib worsens). I would not do another WLS in any case. I'm out of the game. For me, these are "Flowers for Algernon" situations. When I was doing my research, I was convinced WLS was the gold standard for permanent weight loss. Now my thoughts are different, especially concerning the lapband (since I had a bad experience with it) but also with other surgeries. There really is no tinkering with major body parts that is going to come out ok in the longterm, imho. We are seeing wonderful transformations in the short term, yes...but my sense is longterm we are going to see some health-complications from all WLS that have yet to reveal themselves. I would not even consider going under the knife again.

I didn't know about it either but I wonder if it is temporary. Fat stores estrogen. ..you just released a lot of it , maybe it will stabilize in time?

The appeal for Atlanta to me is primarily because that is the heart of promotion opportunities within my part of my company. I also like the office there. Ever go somewhere and feel like "these are my people?" The women dress up, it is multicultural, the average age is a bit younger - just an energizing place to be. i like any workplace that when I show up to visit I get hugs and kisses - there just isn't enough of that in this world for my tastes! I don't feel that way in our Boston office and in fact refused to move there. I have been part of the Seattle office for over 20 years and am just tired of it and it also has very little executive presence since the big reorg of 08/09 so limited growth opportunities. I had fun seeing Dan play with Austin Jenke on Wednesday. Austin is a hometown hero who was on the voice. More importantly he works as a profiessional songwriter and now lives in Nashville. He has "made it" in the industry even if he isn't well known outside of his hometown. He has a great voice and the show was crazy well received. It was insane to me how many people knew Dan too and he just plays Seattle based gigs with Austin. (he mostly plays with a variety of bands not just Austin) My anxiety went sky high earlier this week over my waiting forever for the mammogram before I can actually see specialists over my breast problem. Sky high anxiety - it has been amping up for weeks but this week became something I couldnt manage on my own. I drank too much one night (you know wine instead of dinner) and luckily only had a silly conversation with Dan which he thought was hilarous but that bad judgement could have been much worse. I talked to my EX who still knows how to soothe me and who coached me to get some short term anxiety meds and get some sleep. I did that from my new doctor and last night I slept the first decent night in weeks - no alcohol - just was able to sleep. I woke up paniced, took 1/2 dose and slept. I feel better able to cope with work today and feel more like myself since I am neither exhausted nor wound up or some horrible combination of both which has been my life the last week or two. Thank God. Now if I can just keep from "cycling up" again until I get my diagnosis.

It is a great cautionary tale. I got to goal in Feb 2103 and I promise you maintaining now is much harder than it was over the last 2 years. No joke. I am hanging in there near goal but have regained some from my smallest. I don't think the urge to eat will ever go away. I have no desire to stuff myself but I constantly want more than I need to maintain my weight. It is force of willl.

I didn't enjoy it one bit... but got through it. It was worth it!

This is way more than about getting new attention. This is alot to do with finally being free of obesity and thinking about life satisfaction. I was in a "non relationship " and we are both happier as friends since the love was dead ages ago.

I never had digestive issues presleeve now more prone to diarrhea but not a serious problem

He likely makes a good living on fills and un fills. Please get 2 more opinions. My band to sleeve was 2011 and o am maintaining 150 pounds loss so he is full of crap

My advice is to focus on weight loss for now and set this aside. The best way to get educated is to go to surgical consults and read realself.com.

Florinda, I feel that way at work too... only circumstances are different. Your analogies are brilliant. I am more qualified and stronger than my boss but I DONT WANT her job. I like flying under the radar a bit but... it is also discouraging, boring and demotivating. This is why I am looking into early retirement. I am just tired of the rat race in general frankly... I have tried to see the positive side which is the "under utilized me" had time to invest in my health and fitness whereas the "fully utilized me" struggled to fit it all in. right now I am trying to talk myself into putting my hat in the ring for a promotion, moving to atlanta for a few years and really boost my income/bonuses for 3-5 years to launch me into early retirement. I can't quite seem to talk myself into doing it though...

Florinda, I am sorry you are feeling so angry. It is also a normal human reaction and I think it is healthy that it is experienced as "anger" or frustration and not buried in food or other false coping mecanisms. Denise, I don't hold my emotions in check, it is just that I don't fall in love that easily. I have a broad social group, but a fairly small group of people that I consider real friends that I genuinely love. In a romantic relationship, I would say it takes me a year to fall in love - minimum. Doesn't mean I don't feel some level of attachment, but love is something else for me. I would say that since becoming single, Steven is the only man I have felt "in love" with and that is really stupid actually. Last time I saw him I realized I didn't even like being with him that much anymore. He is getting old - literally, his age is changing him AND it is getting old dealing with his childish nature. I parted ways with him and of course that makes him want me because that is the kind of person he is - and I don't need the drama. Having said all that, at a pure emotional level, I still feel a connection to him even though I really can't stand to have him in my life. Anyway, i have questioned whether I even want to fall in love romantically again or whether it is better to just keep things lighter. The longer I am single, the less I am willing to do the things that seem to be necessary to make a relationship work... like calling people back - ha. No, seriously, I am just low on motivation on all that and I have become the person that "sucks" when it comes to dating. I want a physical relationship but i have never been one for hookups so it would be ideal for me to have a friend "like" Steven was for me only one that is more emotionally stable and less irritating. I have 2 prospects for that right now that I think actually have the emotional maturity, communication and care about me enough that I might consider it. A few years ago, I dated a guy casually (Italian, had been a pro soccer player in his youth, a few years younger than me). We had a nice time, great conversation etc but he moved back to Portland. Then he came back up here for awhile for work and he took me out and entertained me some while i was recovering from plastic surgery. For me, that was a huge trust building thing - someone who didn't judge me, accepted all that mess when I was in the thick of it. Well, he has contacted me a few times since going to portland with the primary message that he wished he had pursued more with me. He gave me a lot of detail behind that sentiment, but bottom line he has had a hard time finding someone that he really fits with - and has realized that he is better matched to someone in my phase of life than the younger women he has dated over the last year or so. I never gave it too much thought but he is coming back up in August for a weekend and I have agreed to see him. When is daughter goes off to college he will be free to travel together, he is pushing for early retirement, and he is caring to me. I have never wanted a long distance relationship but I feel like seeing a guy like him once a month will be more satisfying to me then "dating" someone just as a distraction. So, it's a long shot, but maybe something like that fits. The other prospect is the musician I met a month or so ago. We connect intellectually very strongly. He is also very intuitive and caring and creative. He taps into that side of me. what I don't like is he is overweight and not as active as I would like but he is working on his fitness for health reasons. He very much wants to pursue a relationship with me but lives quite a distance (60-90 minute drive) AND since he is a full time techie PLUS professional musician he has the craziest schedule ever. In spite of the obstacles, it is possible he could become that "long term casual" friend but things haven't progressed far enough for me to say...

I tend to have a muscular build for a woman - so when I was doing my workout DVDs people often assumed I lifted weights due to the definition in my arms. It came from doing planks, pushups etc as part of my aerobic workout. Anyway, I always assumed there are genetic differences, but this is a write up of an interesting rat study. http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/04/29/why-some-people-get-fitter-than-others/

I think looking at my before and after pix tells all the reasons. You can see the physical pain I was in. I am told repeatedly now that I light up a room with my smile and energy...I am transformed. I lost 150#in 14months with the sleeve and maintaining. My surgery was Dec 2011

Mean people suck. I also feel sorry for such negative/hate filled people. What kind of life is it that you seek to elevate yourself by putting others down? I have a strong personality so frankly never had to deal with this BS because i would just make the offender wilt under my interogation - ha... give me 10 minutes with her! If it is genuinely upsetting I would complain to HR. I bet she hurts and manipulates other people too - most likely on a variety of subjects. I do remember once being made to feel about 2" tall by a guy I worked with (my boss as a matter of fact) relating to my single parent status. (The irony is that he divorced later and wound up raising 5 kids all by himself). In modern times, there are laws about hostile work environments and nobody should make you feel bad about improving your life. Frankly, the very best "revenge" - the dish best served cold - is when you lose that weight and live a healthy, active life in your new slimmer body. Nobody will care if you took an easy, hard or whatever way... they will just think "woo hoo - look at that cute woman and her rocking bod!"

Tangent subject- I used to have this weird condition where I would have these "nightmares" that were so real. At some point in the nightmare, I would realize I needed to wake up to escape, but it was like being underwater. Like I needed to wake up but couldn't. The way I would experience it I was screaming or yelling - my family told me i would start out making weird muffled noises and it would escalate to me screaming for help. It was very upsetting to them because it I would awake in a panic, this was no ordinary nightmare. Thank goodness I don't have those "dreams" anymore. Interesting, the last one I had was before I lost weight. I have no idea if there was a connection to the obesity.

Okay, I think we all start from different points of reference so that leads to unclear communication! Thank you for pointing this out to me.. one more time i learn the meaning of assume! My family have always had fairly healthy meals. We were never the deep fried, all take, drive through many nights a week kind of people. our typical dinner was pretty much: - main course, Protein. We sometimes "stir fried" but not deep fried - side dish of Pasta, potato or rice - salad or veggie We also ate alot of casserole type dished that combined that all into one dish. I think in all fairness, we ate a diet that needed improvement, but wasn't horrible either. I had two major issues (well 3): 1. Too much quantity! - even "healthy" foods make you fat when you over eat compared to what your body needs 2. Snacks - omg - chips, crackers, popcorn - carby junky food that i could and DID eat enormous quantities outside of mealtimes The well 3, My body responds to my favorite foods (all carby junky food) with hunger. so, eating that crap made me overeat in general. So, I completely agree that cooking "separate meals" is unacceptable! My strategy is as follows" - protein in a unbreaded, unfried manner - we all eat that -veggies plus salad - we all eat that -side of carbs - the males/non obese peeps eat that ( I generally do not) My kids (adult age) kinda miss their casseroles, (the loved that one covered in tater tots!) but that does not fly in my house anymore. So, I think we are in violent AGREEMENT!

When i was first sleeved... all I wanted to be was normal. You know, just normal. Not the hugest woman in every room. Not the woman who outweighed all the men. Not the person who was pretty much "invisible" or invoked disgust since I was so misshapen due to obesity. Not the person who had to shop in the plus sized. I just wanted normal. You know what I got? - beautiful! i know that sounds like bragging, but I love how i look. I love my body. I thank God daily (and I don't even claim to be Christian) for this gift. I have something that so many women take for granted... by the grace of God... I am an attractive person. I have girlfriends who are so incredibly beautiful and they are so self critical. I just want to shake them... dang it! Appreciate this - don't judge yourself so hard!!! The words I have chosen probably don't accurately describe what I am trying to say... but after being trapped by/buried by fat... it is a wonder what it is like to be free from it. I am saddened by so many who feel so unworthy and even after weight loss don't recognize just how amazing they are. How incredibly beautiful they are - both inside and externally. How incredibly worthy they are of having the best life possible. I have to credit a person in my life who helped me see this. Without his affirmations that were genuine and so generously given, i might still be one of the doubters...

Ha! I'd settle for under 40 again...

I had a lapband in 2001 when my boys were 9 and 12. My oldest is a worrier and my youngest is the silent type - who knows if he is a worrier, right? I revised to the sleeve when they were 19 and 22. Anyway, we kept it light for the band procedure. They knew I was going into the hospital and at that time, in Germany, they kept me for 5 freaking days!!!! In the USA, you have to be on your deathbed to even be admitted to a hospital (ok maybe not that bad) so it was hard to help them understand that I was okay even though they would not let me out. My EX (their stepdad) did a great job of keeping them entertained/distracted combined with visiting me in jail (hospital)... it was a real balancing act. My basic feeling about all this is that it is very difficult for children to understand all this and I don't want them to worry so I would really minimize it to the extent possible. when I revised to the sleeve, my children were young adults but still concerned. I stayed overnight in an outpatient place. I did NOT want visitors but my EX felt they should see that I was okay. We played cards and had some laughs even though it exhausted me to have visitors it was a good decision because they could see I was "ok". I know you didn't ask this question but I have to add something kinda interesting. I hit goal in Feb 2013. I pulled out before pix of myself recently and both of my boys looked so sad. they told me they don't remember me looking like that. They didn't realize how heavy (lets be honest, i was huge) I was. It made them sad, shocked and then proud of me in all I have achieved - all at once.

Ha! My children are in their 20s and they still do stuff like that. The really awesome part is that they know that non stick pans can't go in the dishwasher (shortens their lives immensely) so they make a big nasty pile of them for me to wash in the sink! Apparently, nonstick pans require a "mother's touch"!