CowgirlJane

Sounds like you are doing good! Where are you having staples removed from? i had little stitches on my lap incisions.

I am an analytical type. I reasearched things alot before revising to sleeve from a failed band. I am glad I understood that I might not have as good of results, based on the statistics. That gave me a chance, both preop and in the early months post revision to ask alot of "why" questions. Surgeon, nutritionalist, other revisionistas - anybody I could glean this from. I learned that many people with the band have learned to "eat alot of sliders", graze and most importantly, ignore that "full feeling". It is crazy, that sometimes your body really adapts. So, since I was armed with knowledge, I was able to be very diligent about those underlying things and i believe it made a difference.

@@Oregondaisy I miss Scott alot because we really are compatible and we enjoyed being together. I think he holds onto the idea that we might get back togeterh once he has his "sh*t together" but for me that is unlikely. Heaven knows we have all been through rough patches and I would not hold that against someone, but I feel like his underlying fairly dark world view would not be something I want to live with for the rest of my life. I am sad, but it also gives me hope that someday I might find someone to be with - that there exists a potentially compatible person. I am glad things are going better with Bill. I guess you two are a serious couple if you are in couples counseling! My surgeons office is now offering that metabolism test for an affordable price. I wondered if it was worth it. I mean, it is what it is - I either gain, maintain or lose weight based on my eating and activity habits. How does knowing this "number" actually guide you? Just trying to see if i should even bother. I am glad you have a follow up on your pain. I mean, I think it is fair to ask... exactly why did we do this surgery? Shouldn't I expect to start feeling pain relief? @@Georgia congrats on the super cute grandbaby and another one soon! Glad your daughter is okay, but wow, that sounded like a bit of a slip of the knife! scary.

This is very hard - it manifests differently for different people but just know it really is hard. Having said that - get back on track. You can't take back the past but you CAN follow the plan today, tomorrow and the day after that. It is doubtful that you damaged yourself but I do want to say something about "eating until really full" - this habit must be broken ASAP or you risk not being a successful loser. I asked my NUT early on what the main things I should do to maximize results (I was very high BMI, post menopausal and band to sleeve revision so I needed all the help I could get!). Her answer was that two key things make the most difference: 1. Not grazing 2. Don't seek "full" - seek absence of hunger. Item #2 was a HUGE mindset change for me. This wasn't about the early weeks post op, this was about forever. The very idea of not eating until I couldn't eat anymore... wow. So, when I read about people who feel like they are worried about how much they can eat i think about this. For some reason, different people experience restriction differently. I KNOW that I can stuff a lot of food in me if I go for sliders, pace my eating etc etc. I have to consciously choose to eat in a way that makes me feel satiated (Protein first) and NOT seek out that full feeling. During the liquid and semi solid phases this is really hard because you often doing get a feeling of satiety. I consider those phases the "eat by the clock and measuring spoon phase" because I could not trust my body to give me proper feedback. Sometimes that meant consuming a Protein Drink when I didn't feel hungry. Sometimes it meant not eating when I felt hungry-ish (or at least thought I was) finally, be sure you are on a good PPI as an acidy tummy can feel like hunger. Thirst can feel like hunger. Boredom and emotional states can mimic hunger...

@@ladivaluz806 I also want to mention - stalls happen. It can be frustrating but if you are following your plan, you will lose weight. There are things you can do, change things up etc, but sometimes... they just happen.

There is a scientific explanation - but bottom line that "gain" from a single dose of lots of carbs is Water weight. Just like when you go low carb you lose alot quickly - water loss. It has to do with how our body stores all this stuff. Over the long haul, I find success with moderate/low carb eating plan mostly because it helps me control hunger. Whenever I "stalled", reducing carbs, in particular processed carbs (bread, Protein bars etc) made a big difference. Now in maintenance I don't count carbs but I reduce my intake of the things that I KNOW trigger hunger.

I had a similar experience. I went to ONE support group from my surgeon. The faciliator had an emergency and didn't show up. So, people who had been attending regularly took over. They talked about eating "fair food" - deep fried junk, donuts etc etc etc. I was surprised as a new post op as these ladies were still quite obese. I found out they had each lost around 50# and were essentially stalled already. It was probably the best support group meeting I could have attended as it was an eye opener. I never went back, but I never forgot it either. Another example of people who received the same guidance I did, but came to a different conclusion.

@@Oregondaisy the killing is a sad haunting show about cops investigating a child murder. It is set in seattle (although many completely unrealistic Seattle scenes). I loved it as it was dark and complex but not everyone's cup of tea.

I saw 2 episodes...cute and not what I expected. Kind of a sexual history "My Name is Earl " kind of show.

Well that does seem like something changed as that was only a year ago. I don't think there is any blame to be placed in losing slower, it sucks. However losing slower is still losing! Whether you ever got to goal or not I have seen pix and you look amazing.

Well, I am only speaking for myself, but i could easily lose 10# a month when I was super high BMI. Heck, I lost 25# in the first month on Weight Watchers, nutrisystem and that HGC diet - probably more times that I have forgotten. The difference is they were "diets" I could not sustain. Not only did I not get to goal, but i regained.... usually regained plus some. After my initial weight loss, I didn't really lose weight all that fast with the sleeve. It took me 14 months to lose 150 pounds. If you exclude the really rapid weight loss the first month or so, my average was 10# or less per month. At this point, if I can lose (and sustain, not just the sudden water loss drop) a couple of pounds in a month, then I am happy. I don't think about speed anymore, I think about living this as a lifestyle. I do sometimes do little resets etc but for the most part, I work on just "working the sleeve" day in and day out - admittedly, sometimes with more success than others. Florinda, perhaps the MS or your particular body makeup creates an unusual situation/very slow losses but I have seen you post things that are confusing. Examples are mention that you thought you had been averaging about 3,000 calories a day over the last (don't recall - was it year?). Well, I would regain on that too. I remember when you lost about 30-40# pretty rapidly when you were still overseas. You didnt share details about that, suddenly you had lost the weight so I don't know how you did it. Would going back to what worked help? I read up on that nasal feeding tube thing you did - they claimed that the weight stayed off once you stopped the program - did it? It is frustrating that your current plan isn't working as well as you want, but to some extent, slow and steady might just be the ticket. I think you are one of the lucky ones that doesn't get too hungry, so perhaps just staying on a "liveable" program month after month is the way to go. For me, I sometimes resent that I need way less food than other people around me...sigh... but I also know that I can maintain with a reasonable eating plan. I don't do really extreme deprivation or low calorie - especially since quitting 5:2. While 5:2 worked for me, the impact on my moods was negative and not worth it. Even with 5:2, my normal days were pretty moderate/healthy - not extreme but i could tell that the fast days caused me an anxiety uptick. Right now I am hanging in there, eating disciplined most of the time, splurging sometimes and not under goal yet (damn it) but hanging out in the neighbhorhood so I feel okay about it. In fact the only time I am unhappy with my current weight is when I try to put on clothes that fit me awesome last year and are now too snug to look nice. The solution might be to donate them...haha. And, good news, my anxiety is under control without meds and I am happy about that!

This statement reasonated with me. And, if it makes anyone feel better - we are in good company, a whole lot of people out there "struggle". We have just chosen to wear our struggles as fat suits (well, that is only partially true as there is surely a physical component of obesity that cannot be underestimated!) so it is highly visible. I have shared before, part of my journey is learning to accept that is "okay" to not always be happy, content and at peace. Sometimes you have to FEEL things for the wounds to heal.

@@beenee my weight loss slowed to a crawl - maybe 1-2# a month for a bit. It happened about 8 months post op after losing around 125#. It was due to my eating... I had let processed carbs sneak back in, mostly in the form of Protein bars. I had mixed feelings about getting slimmer AND I was doing the same ole workout routine. I had to change all 3 - my food, my emotional state and I upped the intensity of workouts. It worked, my weight losses went back to about 10# a month and I got to goal, losing 150# in 14 months. I am now 3.5 years post op - my surgery was Dec 2011

While I was still losing weight, my EX one time said to me that I was "thinner then most women he saw at the store". Then he goes on to say, "of course everyone has gotten really fat so normal sized women are getting rare". I know he didn't mean to insult me, and in fact I believe his statement was quite true. I think you look great, healthy, trim. And yes... thinner than the average woman you see at the grocery store! I noticed when I first lost weight my collar bone, ribs along back and front were very noticable. That freaked some people out. Over time, as my weight has sort of redistributed I look more well balanced. I just got an updated drivers license and I think my face looks better now than when I first got to goal. Either that or I too have just gotten used to how I look now, but i don't get those criticisms anymore.

Well, it has finally happened - Scott and I have stopped seeing each other. It is tough on me because we are quite compatible, I like being with him and have grown attached - it is mutual actually. In April when we did the weekend trip together I came to realize how deep his emotional struggles are.... I pretty much knew then it was over. We didn't have a sexual relationship anyway because he is really pretty traumatized by intimacy - having to do with his his divorce, ex wife etc. Anyway, we both wanted to give it all more time but he is in pretty bad shape emotionally and finally just decided that he is becoming increasingly paranoid and afraid of letting someone close to him. He admitted that the only people he feels even a bit of trust toward are his mother, young daughter and two pals he has known forever. Everyone else is a potential threat - I am glad he is seeing a shrink because I feel like he is crashing . I am grateful that he is smart enough to let me go and not bring that trauma into my life, but I also feel sad how lonely and isolated he is making himself. It is hard to let go of the idea that it might work since my friends all like him, he fits my life very well and all that sort of stuff so I am a little blue, but okay. I have a plan for my summer of regaining fitness that is probably better without spending time with a guy who likes to cook and fatten me up anyway! So, it goes to show that it isn't just the formerly obese who struggle with those internal battles. Life seems at times like it is harder and lonelier than it should be.

It is hard to know people's intentions. While it is wonderful to get a compliment - saying something like "you look amazing" is always welcome for me. Something like "geez, you lost a ton of weight" in front of a crowd of people is not cool. When it happened to me (and it has many times as i lost ALOT of weight) I decided to grin and bear it. I felt like I was the one that changed alot and I needed to sort of help people with adjusting. One lady I worked with (different story than i shared on my first post on this thread) was completely weirded out by my physical transformation. It was freaky - she would do stuff like grab my badge to check my I.D. etc. After about the 3rd time of her crazy talk I had about enough and gently asked her to back off on it, but she was angry, confused and a bunch of other stuff about her own obesity and I think I just became a target for that frustration. Anyway, good news is that over time, people FORGET how obese i used to be. I try to stay cool and just let it all float over me. One thing I realize that looks just ain't that important in life...

Well... a very simple point is that you don't NEED to do that to be successful. I lost 150 in 14 months to get to goal following a normal bariatric plan. I am post menopause woman and so younger people probably can lose even faster. Lots of other people with similar stories. No reason to go even more extreme then WLS!

I revised from band to sleeve 3.5 years ago. I have lost about half my body weight - and maintaining. You have posted this mesage multiple places - what specifically do you want to know?

Great article. One tip is to actually eat according to plan. Undereating can lead to snacking on junkie food... grazing... or eating too much when you actually do eat. That is so counter intuitive, but actually eating those healthy choices makes it so much easier to NOT eat those sliders etc.

@@Alex Brecher people still can't find the button for chat! I know that people want to use it, but we need easier access. I am not much into chatting but I know that people used to announce a time and people did use the chat function previously.

Oh, and here is the other thing. I had NO expectations of what I would look like when i got to goal. I was very very focused on health, physical ability and life enjoyment. I strongly encourage you to put your focus the same way becasue life is too damn short to worry about every lilttle nitpicky flaw. I did have skin removeal/reconstructive plastics and am THRILLED with my results. I have observed that people who make peace with their bodies are always much happier (without plastics or post plastics even) because the mind is actually harder to change than the body quite frankly...

I lost 160+ post sleeve and about 185 from my lifetime high. WEight loss didn't make me happy. In fact, losing the fatsuit, losing eating as a soothing and emotional numbing tool has caused some angst. What weight loss did was quite literally take a huge weight off my daily existance. I can move better, I have less pain, I feel more socially comfortable, i feel more normal. Weight loss doesn't solve a darn thing in life, but it removes one of the obstacles to enjoying life to the max. I don't think I was a food addict (whatever that even means) but I surely used obesity and overeating as a way to regulate moods and numb myself. It has been shocking to live in a world where i experience and feel so much more... almost like bright lights shining in my eyes or something - kind of overwhelming at first. I am 3.5 years post op and it is getting better. I didn't realize it before - but this emotional state is EXACTLY what triggered regains in the past. Like I just couldn't tolerate the intensity. I had a helpful counselor who taught me some things but one of the most valuable was to learn that it is "okay" to feel... sometimes that means feeling bad. That sounds completely nuts, but one of my issues was I always felt the need to fill the hole in my heart. I am really learning that sometimes your wounds need to be felt, sadness and worries do need to be experienced and that is when healing begins. It is working, but it is a slower process than I expected. Another thing I have learned is there are lots of people who are WAY more unhappy then me... I don't mean to make it seem like a race to the bottom or anything, but truth is I am MOSTLY very happy. I am grateful for it. I am grateful for another chance at life. When I get anxious or defensive or any of those "bad" feelings I remind myself that this is the human condition and it is normal to feel that way sometimes but the main thing is to not let it hurt relationships or interfere with my enjoyment of life.

Kim, I saw that other post. Interesting and I agree - you have done AWESOME! We are so self critical at times... I didn't download the article but one of the crazy things is the weight they use for ideal. My NUT told me 142 is what they would use for me, i did get down to 140 but I was really quite thin and not healthy feeling (that was last year when I was struggling so much). In my mind I have lost 100% of my excess because I think my goal in the 150s is more realistic, but I get that mathematically I am more in the losing something like 90% of my excess. I'LL TAKE IT!!!!! I went on a girls weekend this last weekend and one of them is a dietician. She claims that many many people have a complete regain about 10 years out - I haven't seen studies of that type so I was curious about it. I didn't press her because I didn't really want a big group discussion AND dieticians are not necessarily that educated about these things. Just curious if anyone else has seen it? Saw a very young elk calf this weekend. A "late born" calf still had his spots and was wobbly legged. My hunter friend said he was a week or less old. He was well camoflauged and just stood up next to us on the trail when our horses startled him into moving. Thank goodness my horses just looked and thought same things we did - that is a MIGHTY BIG DEAR FAWN - ha! Then my friend and I were like... wonder where mama is... I don't want to be between that baby and anyting big enough to have given birth to it! It was very cool though. We also startled a number of grouse, flew right up under my horses and they were both awesome. Got to see their eggs too. We heard a bear huffing, never saw him, that is an unnerving feeling since with the hills it was hard to tell how close it was. We listened and could hear it moving along a ridgeline next to us so we calmly made our way... making a quiet but deliberate exit from the scene. Bears don't want to attack, but it is cub season.... and I know that huffing is a warning noise "you are in my space and I don't like it".... My younger horse Mia can be a pill and she isn't the best trail horse in my mind, however she was AWESOME through all this. Especially compared to this lady that joined us (an aquaintance of one of our little group). She was arrogant about how her horses had this advanced level of training but you would have never guessed that based on what we saw this weekend.... bolting, disobeying, crowding other horses etc. Made Mia look like a champ.

I regret living a less fullfilling life for decades due to obesity I regret that I needed the help of WLS to attain and maintain a normal, healthy weight/size I recognize that WLS is a risk, both short term and long term but I am ever grateful for this help, this "chance" and living the life I have always dreamed of.

Cathy, that Turin trip sounds great! Dee so glad to hear from you and happy you are better! Denise, I thought you were mending and getting more active...No? That is so disappointing but don't let depression stop you from getting therapy or whatever needs to happen. I just did a girls weekend of riding eating and drinking and I do feel bloated!