Caribear

Very interesting. My personal opinion is that there are people who would prove both the nutritionist and the doctor right. Some people use food to self-medicate because they "stumbled upon" its effects on the brain, and some people have the tendency to be addicts and just happen to settle on food as their drug of choice. But I think that for the most part, it's way too complex and individualized for the scientific community to really say they know for sure if a person is a true addict or not. I love your sign. I need one of those myself.

Isn't it funny how our brain can cause us to think we feel things when we really don't? One of the hardest things I have been dealing with is trying to sort out when I am actually hungry and when I am not. Someone without food issues would probably think that this sounds really easy, but for someone like me who is trying to untangle food and emotions, it is far from simple. For years I thought that whenever my stomach felt uncomfortable, it was hunger and I should eat. It has only been within the past few months that it has really sunken in that 1) not every feeling is hunger, and 2) even if it is hunger, it's okay to feel it. Funny how it has become such an alien concept that I don't have to run to the kitchen and fix something to eat every time I am hungry. My therapist has been trying to tell me this for several years now, poor thing, and as hard as she tried to tell me I just couldn't internalize it. I'm not sure what it was that really made it sink in, but now I finally get it. Sometimes my stomach feels "hungry" because I am bored or stressed. I have always been a comfort eater, so now the first thing my brain does when I feel unpleasant emotions is cause that feeling that I should eat. It's been a real struggle trying to remember that it's not actual physical hunger. I guess this is what they call "head hunger." My nutritionist offered me an awesome coping strategy for when I am struggling with that feeling and it won't go away. The best thing to do is make yourself busy with something else to take your mind off of that feeling. But what do you do, and how do you make sure to do it in times of stress? Her idea was to make a "tool box" of things that will distract you from the false hunger. She said that it could be an imaginary box, but personally I need a physical object that I can look at. The box should contain things that you enjoy doing that will keep your attention long enough to forget about being hungry. Some of the things she suggested were knitting or crocheting, puzzle books, craft projects, etc. In my box I have a sudoku book, a crossword puzzle book, and three guided relaxation CDs. I will continue to look for other things as well until I have a good variety of stuff. The box has already proven very useful, not only in helping me overcome those fake hunger feelings, but also just seeing the box gives me a sense of empowerment in knowing that I am prepared to deal with those feelings. I hope this post is making sense. It's getting colder, and that means I've been run over by the fibromyalgia bus. One of the worst symptoms of fibro (in my opinion) is the fogginess, which sometimes makes it hard to finish a sentence. Today my brain feels like it has turned to mush. Even though it is warmer today than it was this weekend, I feel worse because of the wind and the rain. My body hates any kind of weather that is not clear, calm and mild, but winter is probably the worst. My low back is on fire and my legs hurt so badly I can hardly think. But on the plus side, I found a DVD on Netflix called Healing Yoga: Aches And Pains that seems to be helping somewhat. It's a yoga workout designed for people with arthritis and other pain conditions. It's available as a DVD and streaming video as well, which is really convenient. It loosened up my hips and back enough today that I could get my household stuff done without wiping myself out. I am really praying that losing weight will help me become a little more functional on days like today.

I think they want to make sure you don't have sleep apnea, because it could possibly cause an issue if they don't know about it. I think most doctors require this, and some insurance companies do too. If it comes back positive (that you have apnea) it will add a comorbidity and may give your insurance more reason to approve you since apnea is curable through weight loss. If not, you're healthy and getting good sleep. Do you have a list of things your insurance company needs to approve you? If not, I'd call and try to get one, either from the insurance company or the insurance/billing specialist at your surgeon's office. In any case, I wish you good luck!

It's great to hear you're doing so well. I'm so happy for you

I have a sleep number bed and love it. I've had it for several years now and love that it's adjustable. But regarding the ads, I pretty much just ignore them honestly.

You're doing awesome! Something you might want to check out is MyFitnessPal. I started by writing the food down in my notebook, then moving it to MFP at the end of the day. It tracks calories, nutritional values, and exercise. I started out thinking it wouldn't be that much more helpful than paper records, but now I wouldn't go without it. You can print out reports to bring in to your docs, too.

Great job, you're doing awesome! food probation officer...LOL! XD

I haven't been banded yet, still going through the insurance stuff, but when I talked to one of the surgeons he had said that they generally discourage lap-band for people with BMI over 50 (I was at 59) I know too that the band is the only surgery I am comfortable with. I agree with Cazzy, you might want to widen your search a little. I think it would be worth the extra drive to have a surgeon who isn't so strict. Whatever you decide, I wish you good luck.

Thank you so much for this inspiring post, and congratulations on your success! You're doing great!

I have been worried about this too, but I think that it's really only something to be concerned about if you're at borderline BMI. Otherwise the insurance company just sees your supervised diet weight loss as a sign that you're really serious. I have been reassured of this by several different health professionals. So don't let that stop you from doing the best you can.

At the advice of my doctor, I went to see a nutritionist this past Wednesday. Well I guess technically she's a "wellness nurse" but my doc called her a nutritionist, and that's basically what she does. I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect. I guess all these years of being treated as sub-human by health professionals because of my weight has really taken a toll on me. But I was pleasantly surprised to find that she was very nice, supportive, and upbeat. Almost a little too upbeat. I think of myself as a generally positive person, but the people who wake up spouting sunshine just drive me a little bit crazy. In any case, she seemed very optimistic about my chances for success. It surprised her that I have already been making so many positive changes, and she was pretty happy with the diet I put myself on. I agreed to start seeing her twice a month to do weigh-ins and some tweaking to my diet. She mentioned in passing that she thought everything I had done so far would be a sign to the insurance company that I am really serious and committed. But she also said that phrase I keep hearing, "Maybe you'll do so well you won't need the surgery!" I would love to not need the surgery, and I'll definitely stay open to the idea that I might not need it, but since all of my past efforts have only gotten me to 370 pounds and frustrated, I have my doubts. There were many times that I have been serious and committed to losing weight, and some times that I did lose a fair amount, but obviously that didn't stay off. But we will see. On a more positive note, I am beginning to gain some ground in my battle against overeating. For a long time now, I have been one of those people who will clean my dinner plate, then eat whatever my son didn't finish because "I don't want to be wasteful." I've been fighting hard to break that habit, and I can say with some measure of pride that I have gone almost a week without doing that. I realized that by eating that leftover food, I am not doing a good thing. It's not all that wasteful to throw out a few spoonfuls of food. Not to mention the extra calories I was "wasting" by eating it! So that has finally begun to sink in. Can I have an NSV before I've been banded? And I've also been sticking to the rule that I set with my nutritionist - no eating after 9 pm. Period. Which was rough that first day. My stomach felt like it was turning inside out, and my brain was screaming at me to go find something to eat ASAP or I would die. I did the emotional equivalent of sticking my fingers in my ears and yelling "I can't heeeeeeear youuuuu... lalalalala" and I survived! So yay for small victories, because sometimes they're the most impactful ones.

Hi Aaron, I'm so sorry you have had to go through this. I haven't been banded yet so I can't say how I would feel after having complications, but I'm sure it's very normal to be upset. You worked so hard and followed all the rules, but didn't get the outcome you wanted or expected. I think after some time passes you will begin to feel better. Two months really isn't all that long. You need time to grieve the loss. It is great, though, that you are still losing! Congratulations on that! Even if it feels like a hollow victory right now, it is still a victory. Good luck, and I will keep you in my prayers.

Congratulations!

LOL! Enjoy your pedicure! On a more serious note, I'm glad your hand is healing and that your band is working well for you. You're doing great!

Well, I'm glad it's not anything super serious, but I know how bad migraines can be and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Hopefully the walking will help.

I agree about myfitnesspal, it is really great. I haven't been banded yet, but I got a book called "Weight Loss Surgery Cookbook For Dummies" (lol!) and it has a lot of really tasty recipes in it. I know that they won't all be band-friendly, but there are probably quite a few that you could be comfortable with. It is high Protein, low-ish carb. Not completely like Atkins, but I prefer it that way. I wish you the best of luck, and I will be praying for you.

Congratulations!

How exciting, I'm so happy for you! You're doing awesome, keep up the good work!

Glad you're doing well, and that you have a doctor who really cares! That's great!

Yup, I think it was down for the past two days...I couldn't get on either, and if you look at the posts, they're either from the last hour or so or from two days ago...glad it's back now!

Today I went to my family doctor and started my first supervised diet visit. It went pretty well. The nurse asked me some questions, updated their files, filled out some of my paperwork, and checked my vitals. When the doctor came in, he said that he has done quite a few of these supervised diets. His way of doing them is to have me journal all of my food, exercise five times a week for 30-45 minutes, and meet with a nutritionist to discuss the actual diet aspect. I told him that I have already put myself on a diet and lost 10 pounds, so it shouldn't be a problem. I don't know if I came across as being contentious or what, but he seemed to get a little defensive and said that the nutritionist will make sure that I'm on the right diet. He seemed pretty surprised that I have to do nine months - he kept asking me "are you sure?" until I showed it to him in the packet that I got from the surgeon's office. I guess six months is the usual amount of time, but not for my insurance company. I called the nutritionist when I got home and scheduled an appointment for Wednesday, so everything is moving along pretty smoothly. The only problem I have with his instructions is the exercise part. Normally I would have no problem with this. In fact, I used to love to do pilates and kickboxing. But since I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, exercise is a little bit of a balancing act. I get fatigued very easily, and if I push too hard I will send myself into a "flare." I already go to the YMCA three times a week and do their aqua program for arthritis, and that seems to be just about what my body will handle. Flares are not fun, and a bad one can put me in so much pain that I can barely walk for about a week. But I will try to push a little harder and see what happens. One down, eight to go...

Thanks everybody for the encouragement. I still know that this is the right decision for me, and I'm continuing on no matter how fearful I may be. Honestly I have more to fear if I don't do this than what I have written here. @Godsgirl - that is one of my favorite verses!

Thanks Shirley, I will have to do that. I'm not too worried about losing enough to fall below the criteria for the band. I'm at 370 right now, with a BMI of 58ish, so even if I lost 100 pounds I would still qualify. I don't know if I have the willpower to do that anyway, but who knows... Congratulations for all your success, by the way. You're doing awesome!

LOL! Too funny! I agree, I admire your sense of humor. If we can't laugh at ourselves, we're taking things completely too seriously. Something that I did when my pants would get too big was to get a safety pin and make a "pleat" in the back or side where it's not so noticeable. It might help get you through until you absolutely have to get new pants.

After thinking about it for a long time, I have decided to put all of my fears and concerns down here in writing, no matter how irrational or insignificant they may be. I like to imagine that a few years down the road I will come back here and read this and think "Oh, how silly I was for being afraid of that!" So, here goes... I am afraid of being one of those unfortunate ones who doesn't lose a significant amount of weight with the band. I am afraid of dying on the table and leaving my family to pick up the pieces. I am afraid of having too much excess skin after I lose the weight and having to battle the insurance company to have it removed. I am afraid of the pain of post-op and recovering from surgery again. I worry that even with the band, I will not be teaching my son to have a healthy relationship with food. I am freaked out by the idea that I may become attractive to other men, and that I will not be able to deal with any attention that I might receive from them (that one takes a lot of bold-faced honesty to actually write down) I worry that my band will slip or erode, and that I will have to have it removed or revised. I am afraid that I will sabotage myself subconsciously and consistently "eat around the band." I am afraid that my boyfriend will not know how to handle my weight loss and either leave or cheat. I am afraid that I will have to struggle so hard to lose weight even with the band that I will give up and decide to be fat and happy vs. thin and miserable. I am afraid that my fibromyalgia will get worse after I lose weight. (I have had several acquaintances with fibro and WLS tell me that this has happened to them) I am afraid that my fibro will keep me from exercising and therefore cause me to gain all my weight back. I am afraid that I will become so paranoid about gaining weight that I will become obsessive about tracking calories, and lose my joy. I am afraid of having the surgery, losing all this weight, and still dying of a heart attack at 50. I am afraid of being labeled as a "cheater" for having surgery instead of doing it the old fashioned way. I am afraid of being under the magnifying glass when it comes to people who I choose to tell, and that they will constantly be watching me and waiting for me to mess up. I am afraid of dealing with my bipolar grandmother once she finds out that I have had this done. She is super judgmental and can be very mean and thoughtless sometimes. I am afraid that some other family members might start getting passive-aggressive when I start really losing weight, as if I were competition to them instead of just being happy for me. I am afraid of losing my boobs. I know this is probably tmi, but they're already on the small side for my weight and I don't want to end up flat-chested. I am afraid of losing my promise ring. It is already starting to get loose and I have only lost 10 pounds. I am afraid of losing a bunch of weight, having my rings resized, then gaining back so much weight that they don't fit anymore. I worry about becoming seriously depressed again after my surgery. I did with the last ones, and nobody told me beforehand that it was normal to get that way post-op. I am afraid that I have already done too much damage to my body and that even after losing weight it won't heal. I am afraid of being denied by my insurance company and not being able to have the surgery in the first place. That's all I can think of at the moment. The rational part of me says that most of these are silly, and that the rest of them won't be as big a deal as I think they will. But in any case, I have them written down now so that I can look back at them in the future.