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Thank you all so very, very much for the love and genuine concern that you are all showing me. I have asked my daughter on many occasions, to help out more around the house. When I do that, she immediately goes into defensive mode, and I just don't need that kind of tension around me. I love my daughter, but she has her priorities incredibly screwed up, and sadly, she's teaching her children the same thing. If the house is a mess, it's more important for her to sit outside with the neighbors, smoke cigarettes, and yuck it up, instead of taking care of her responsibilities. But last night, I announced that I wasn't cooking, and she actually stepped up to the plate. She made dinner, and she even cleaned up afterwards! Now granted, that only happens once in a blue moon, but I'll take it! My mom really doesnt need eldercare, because as I said, she's very self sufficient. She is just starting to drive again, but more often than not, she stays home all day. She said that she wanted something specific for dinner last nite, and I had to remind her that I wasn't cooking dinner, but I invited her to fix whatever her heart desired. She can certainly do that. Well, she ended up eating what my daughter cooked, instead of going into the kitchen, and making herself what she wanted. Chances are good that she's going to wait for me to make it. That's the kind of stuff that drives me bonkers! There's no need to wait for me to cook it for you, because this is NOT a hotel/restaurant (despite how my family feels). Long story short (too late now), I need to really start taking time for ME, and the heck with everyone else. That includes my eating habits, as well as my smoking. I do feel restriction when I eat dense Protein, and then veggies. But again, it's soooooo much easier to just grab some Cookies, and keep it moving, than actually taking the time to cook that dense protein. But as of today, I have to stop doing that, and make sure that I take the time. It's a hell of a thing when you admit to something, and then don't do anything to change it. I certainly don't want to be that kind of person. I was thinking of investing in a recumbent bike, but honestly, I just don't have the room in my house for it. I bought my treadmill, and that's in the family room portion of my basement, so there just isn't any other place for me to put it. I own a bicycle, and my trainer said that my back isn't ready for a bike ride yet. I went on a bike ride with my grandaughter a few weeks ago, and the pain was so intense for about a week afterwards, that I was eating vicodin like they were m&m's! So no more of that business for me, at least for right now. My trainer is trying to build up the muscles in my lower back, because right now, my spine is carrying all of my weight, which is what is causing my pain. So I'm going to give him a few more months, and then go from there. But once again, I have to thank you all for your encouragement and love. And as far as being offended by some of the questions/comments, I'm not. This is a family, and I know that whatever is said, asked, or suggested, is done out of genuine concern. That's why I love this site! So thank you all again, and I will keep you posted as to what happens next. Because there's always something!! :wub: Annette

Thank you both so much for your encouraging words! As far as my house goes, it's a very sticky situation. Long story short, it's not in my name, but I pay the mortgage. An 80/20 split was done, and I have two mortgages to pay. So basically, those programs don't apply to my situation. My mom is relatively self sufficient, but she still depends on me quite a bit. I know it's been tough for her, bouncing back from this surgery, but it really wears on me. And it's the little things that I know she can do for herself, that really irritates me. Like calling the drugstore to have a prescription refilled. She counts on me to do that. I certainly can't tell her no, because after all, she raised me. And I KNOW that wasn't an easy thing. And I would love to go to a support group, but there just aren't enough hours in the day. After all of those things, I have very little time just for me. I know that when all is said and done, that I'm going to be ok. I just really need to rely on my faith, and lean on God. With everything. I think that's the hardest thing of all. Being a single black woman, we tend to rely on ourselves, and not give the reins over to someone else. And I know that I definitely have control issues. I know that I need to make sure that I take time FOR ME, but for right now, it's hard for me to do that. I have really tried to look at all of this as a blessing. I'm blessed to be able to be such a huge part of my grandchildren's lives, and to help raise them into the incredible adults that I know they are going to be. I'm blessed to be able to give back just a small part of what my mother gave and sacrificed for me. Sadly, the stress of it all is coming out in ways that aren't good. I'm slipping back into old patterns and habits. It's bad enough that I started smoking again, but then I add in the carbs, and I'm staring down the barrel of a loaded gun! So I'm going to get back up on my horse, and put my faith in God, because leaning on me, just isn't working. Thanks again!

I think this past weekend is the worst that I've had, since my surgery in April, 2011. Carbs were the order of business since last Friday. It was almost as if something inside of me broke. It's been a long time since I've been this far down. I just feel like I'm a complete failure....with everything. I have only lost 60 lbs since my surgery, and now, I'm about to lose my house. My mom, my daughter, and my two grandchildren live with me, and I'm carrying ALL of the bills, and buying the groceries, and I have the added bonus of cooking it, and then I get to clean up afterwards!! My mom had colon/appendaceal cancer, and had surgery in May. She is 83, so she is still recovering. That has really worn on me, because I work from home, and she depends on me heavily. Then there's my grandkids, who are also home for the summer, because my daughter can't afford to put them in any type of camp. Oh.....and did I mention that I started smoking again? And of course, there's the whole bad back thing, which I've had just about enough of. I decided that this morning, I was going to get back on track, and I have started the day with a protein shake. It was then my plan to do my mile on the treadmill (which I havent done since last Wednesday). I got on it, and I was so nauseous, I felt like I was gonna throw up! So, I got off. Needless to say, I am emotionally exhausted, and I don't know how much more I can take. So it was just easier to grab a cookie (or 5), and some ice cream, and some popcorn, and the list just goes downhill from there. I went to see the surgeon last week, and my initial surgeon has left the practice, so I chose another surgeon (same practice), and I just felt like my concerns/problems, fell on deaf ears. She said that I should do an hour on the treadmill every day, but she completely ignored the fact that I have a bad back, and I'm not physically capable of doing that. I relayed this info to my trainer, and he said that if I could do that, it would be awesome, but I could count on being in bed at least 3 days, because of the pain. He doesn't recommend that at all. I did speak to the nurse practitioner, and she said they would consider putting me on an appetite suppressant for a few weeks, just to see if we could jump start my weight loss. I feel like such a failure all the way around. Other than that.....I'm good! Thanks for allowing me to vent.

Day 5 is now a mere memory, and I lost 5 lbs total!! YEA!!! I did have some carbs yesterday, but I didn't go too crazy. I went to Starbucks and got a large chai tea latte with fat free foam, and the extremely chatty barrista was absolutely insistent that I try and iced chai tea latte. The problem was that it was made with half & half. It was only about an ounce or so, but still. I know she was only trying to be nice, but she REFUSED to take no for an answer! And then last night, I made a 7up pound cake for my friend who is going through some tough times with her teenage daughter, so I baked her a little happy, and took her some flowers. And I did have a small piece of cake, but other than that, I did ok. I was able to get in all my water, and I find that it's easier to do when I make it to the gym. So I'm going to make a concerted effort to make it to the gym every day during the week. Well, as soon as I figure out how to do it, I will update my ticket. (I'm extremely ticker challenged)

I'm sure there are other sources, but my nut. always handed them out to anyone who wanted them, during support group. It may be worth giving your doc a call.

Ok....here I am on day 4 of Boot Camp. Monday and Tuesday, I have a headache which I attribute to withdrawing from carbs. And that first day, I lost 3 lbs. YEA!!!! But today, I am having serious carb cravings! Right at this moment, I feel the same exact way I did when I first quit smoking. Is this normal for day 4? I'm so very, very close, and I've really enjoyed the way that I've been eating, and I've been tracking it, and I'm quite proud of myself. I plan on taking what I've learned in boot camp, and continuing on. But let me tell you.....I would just about kill for a devil dog, or a piece of pound cake. I really thought these cravings were behind me. Has anyone else had this problem?

I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad. I think the best thing would be for you to call your doc asap! I had a similar problem about 4 weeks out. As I was talking to the nurse, I realized that I had forgotten to take my protinix for several days. They told me to take them twice a day for about a week, but if I didn't start to feel better, then I would need to come in. So hopefully, it will be something simple like that for you also. Please keep us posted! Annette

Thank you sooooooo much!! Yes, cookies are my enemy. Notice that it's plural. I can never stop at just one. But I'm determined to do it this time. I have to! When I think about all that I've been through in the past year, even prior to my surgery, I can't give up now. Like you, I'm loving life. I'm not where I want to be, granted, but I certainly don't want to go back to the starting line. I know I can do this. They are just so darn good! But I am going to fight, and I refuse to let those little chocolate covered demons take me to the dark side!! Thanks to everyone for posting. I love the encouragement that you have all given to me. It has really made all the difference. Annette

Oh Pdxman....I feel for you! I don't know what I would do if there were all those cookies around me. I'm trying hard to put things into perspective, in that I can no longer eat an entire box, and not bat an eye. But while I'm in 'bootcamp', I want to eliminate my carb intake. And like you, I opted to have the sleeve because I like the idea of being able to have a cookie or a slice of cheesecake. My problem comes in because I am such a carboholic, and I know it. And now that I'm not giving my body those carbs, it's extremely unhappy. I'm going to do my best to take a page out of Amanda's book, and just say 'NO'. If I can quit smoking, I know that I can do this! But there are days that I want to eat 3 boxes of cookies, and smoke 2 cartons of cigs. :embaressed_smile: But I didn't come this far to turn back now! I wish you all the best!

Well, well. Here we are again, at Girl Scout cookie month. I have enough problems on my own, without those little girls standing in front of Wal-mart's and convenience stores everywhere, tempting me with those little gems that are now $3.50 per box. My faves are Peanut butter sandwich, and heaven help me....the thin mints. Now....I decided yesterday that I was going to participate in LilMissDiva's back to basics bootcamp. After the holidays, I knew that I needed to get back on track. Oddly enough, I don't celebrate the holidays, but there's always tons and tons of carbs around. And being the carboholic that I am, I definitely did my share of 'tasting'. But I digress.... So my first day of bootcamp yesterday was great! Very easy. Today, I find that I'm now fighting those carb demons that are beckoning to me. But I'm stronger than they are....as long as I don't go anywhere near a Wal-mart, or a convenience store. At one point, I thought it may be a good idea for my grandaughter to join the girl scouts. My daughter said that I only wanted her to do that, because of the cookies. I'm soooooooo glad that I was voted down. That being said.....is anyone else struggling with those little February darlings/demons :angel_smile: that come in the form of Caramel delights; Tag-Alongs; Thin Mints; etc?

First and foremost, congratulations on your new sleeve!! I was sleeved on April 4, and I didn't have any issues at all. I was a little concerned at first, because I just figured that I was going to have some kind of problem, but I didn't. I will say that the first night home from the hospital was difficult, only because I came home with a drain, and of course, I had the standard post surgery pain. I couldn't get comfortable at all. I also had a problem because I took a pain pill on an empty stomach, and I was so nauseated, I broke out in sweats. But other than that, it was smooth sailing. So I counted my blessings that I really didn't have any problems at all. So relax, and just concentrate on healing, and starting your new life. Annette

LilMiss Diva....all I can say is WOW!!! I never really looked at my situation in that way. And I certainly do need to focus on the positive, and not compare myself to others. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Thanks so much for the wake up call. And VBG, thank you for your encouragment and support. I don't normally eat anything that is labeled 'fat free', just for the reasons you mentioned. And I especially appreciate the point about my sleeve not having an expiration date, and that it will always be there for me. My doc told me that I should be at or near goal at my one year surgiversary. He said that it seems that after the 1 year mark, your body 'wakes up', and realizes that something is going on, and it tries to hold on to everything you put in your mouth. I guess that's another reason why I'm panicking a bit. By April 4,2012, I want my goal weight to at least be on the horizon. Nevertheless, thank you all!

:lightbulb: Well....I figured out what the problem is. Since I quit smoking, I have been sucking on wintergreen lifesavers. 4 of those little things has 16g of carbs, ALL FROM SUGAR!!! Even the sugar free ones have the same amount! Now that I have found the culprit (and I have to thank VBG for bringing this to my attention) I can absolutely do something about it! I did all of my research, and I looked out (and avoided) the pitfalls that got me here in the first place. I can't believe that it never even dawned on me that this was the problem. I thought I was smarter than that. The important thing is that I found it, and now I can take action! Annette

First, thank you all so much for your support and encouragement. Many years ago, I fell down the steps in my house. I fractured my tail bone, and I had a few herniated discs. I ended up having surgery about 2 years later, and as I gained more weight, my back would just throb. When I first had VSG, and I started losing, my back was feeling so much better. I was so happy and excited! I stopped taking the daily doses of Oxycontin, and life was great! Then I noticed that it started hurting again. I went to a chiropractor, and he told me that I have severe arthritis in my lower back. It hurts the most when I sit, and of course, I sit all day, because I'm a programmer. I normally do the treadmill when I go to the gym, so I'm going to get back on schedule with that. As far as the water aerobics go, sadly, they only have it during the day, and I'm working. For me to go to physical therapy, I would have to start the process all over again of going to an Orthopedic doc, get xrays, and blah, blah, blah. And with everything going on, I just don't have the time. (I really hate HIPAA!!) So for right now, PT isn't an option. My carb intake is reasonable. I don't normally go over 60 g, but I try to keep it at 40. I am a complete carboholic, so I had to change that up. I found that when I eat those sugary carbs, I want more and more. So I stopped eating those things, because I knew what they were doing to me. So, I'm going to go back to the gym on more of a regular basis, and I'll check back in next week. I realize this is a marathon, and not a sprint, but enough is enough! So thank you again for your support, and for letting me vent, and whine.

So, when I had my surgery on 4/4/11, my pre surgery weight was 333. Today, 7 months and 13 days later, and I'm at 280 lbs. Now granted, I haven't been as diligent about my exercise for the past month, due to some lower back issues. But I have been really diligent about getting in my water, and protein first. I'm trying not to get discouraged, but it's hard when I read posts from folks that have lost 100 lbs within their first 6 months, and so on. I'm almost embarrassed to say that I've only lost 53 lbs. I have been on this super, duper stall for a few months, and I AM PISSED!!! I don't know what to do, and I'm really getting kind of down about it. I started smoking again a few months ago (after I had quit for a solid year!!), when I couldn't break the stall then. But I have since quit, because this was supposed to be my year to get healthy, and the whole smoking thing was just a bit contradictory. Anyway...here I am, only 53 lbs down, and 80 lbs to go, and I just don't know what to do about this. Other than the not exercising as much because of my back, I'm doing everything right. But here's the thing....even when I was exercising on a regular basis, my weight loss was very slow then too! I've heard of folks that go through all of this, and then only lose 50 lbs., but I never ever dreamed that I would be one of those people! WTF??? :banghead: