msoutlaw378

Its been soo long since ive done an entry. I think I actually missed my entries and I think that I will continue to blog with the hopes of healing myself and maybe helping someone. so here is a little back story. I had the lapband in 2011 and in 2014 it slipped and I had the gastric sleeve. I developed really bad GERD and in 5/1/2018 I had the gastric bypass. I am still happily married and we actually added a new member to the family I had my daughter 12/26/13 and lord does she keep me on my toes. I have started my own business and which I have opened two stores in one year. Now that I have had the gastric bypass I will say that I think this is the best surgery I have had. I will admit I still have to work on the program the dr. has in place for me. I just feel that I have so much to focus on that the plan is like a final exam that I have to continue to work on. I will say I am committed to losing the weight and finally reaching my goal and come my 7Th wedding anniversary next year I will be on a beach and proud of the body and the person I have become thought out this journey. Unit tomorrow

Good Morning Bandmates, Today was offically my day one. I was banded 7/27/11 and made great strides to losing weight with the tool we call lap band. My starting weigh was 281 poounds. throughout the year my lowest weight was 185 pounds. I was so happy that not only did I complete a task and follow through with it I can honestly say that the journey was hard but well worth the every up and downs of the journey. I had a baby in december and like i said previous I had unfills throughout my pregnancy. I was enjoying the pregnancy and the cravings were off the wall and to be honest i enjoyed every moment. I have to say that looking at my daughter I can say I made that and I thank god that he has allowed me to take part in the mircle of making her. My baby is now 2 months old and I am now healed and ready to tackle the journey once again to losing the weight that I have gained. My current weight is 261 pounds. I have no shame about that number. I say that because I know with hard work and true focus I will get back to my post weight. today I got on the exercise bike today and oh my goodness was it hard work. I didn't go as long as I would have like would have liked but like my husband told me a little will go along way. I was fustraded because I didn't do what I planned. I think that sometimes we put more pressure on ourselves that when we don't meet our own expextations that we shut down and feel like you have nothing eles to offer. I believe that with every failure that I have endured I have just as many success. I had to think about the first day after my surgery and I wanted to tackle the world and I set all these goals that I was going to meet and I was going to show everyone what I could do. When I didn't meet my first goal I cried. I don't even know why I was crying. No one told me show me what you got? no one said I had to lose weight by a curtin day.I had to get out my own way and allow baby steps and thats when I started to see the results. If you are new to getting lap band or you are a vetern we will all face ups and downs through the journey. I have a "crockpot" mentality ( see my previous post) Today I chose to celebrate my task of getting back to being active and I may not have road my bike for the 30 mins that I planned but I did make an honest attempt, I know that as I continue to push myself and with the support of my husband I will be successful. today's task celebrate the small things the same way you would celebrate the big ones. Until Tomorrow Msoutlaw

Good Afternoon Bandmates, It has been so long since I have made an enrty I almost feel bad about not doing so. I say almost because I know my reasons are good. I have been enjoying life. God has truly blessed me in a way that I wake up every morning thanking him. Well, I am about to celebrate my 3 year bandiversary. 7/27/11 I was had my lap band and I truly believe that to this day that I made the right choice for me. I am also going to be celebrating my 2 year wedding anniversry. I must say my husband is my best friend. we have our moments but for the most part I thank god for blessing me with a great provider for our family. I received my third blessing, My daughter Essence Laverne on December 26. I look at her and wonder how did I get so lucky to be chosen to be her mother. I gained a lot during my pregnancy and I will say that I have no shame about doing so. I have unfills and I knew that by doing so that i ran the risk of gaining weight back. I am 10 pounds shy from my pre surgery weight and once again I am OK with it. I think because I know what needs to get done and I believe that if I was successful the first time I will be successful again, I was thinking about possibly getting the sleeve done but I think that with the success that I have already had with the lapband that if I focus and I will accomplish my goal. Unitl Tomorrow Msoutlaw

Good evening all, Today was my first day back on program, and I am not going to lie and say it was easy. Since getting married, I have enjoyed many date nights with my husband and just started to focus less on the things that I should. Today was a new day for me. I woke up and ate a Greek yogurt and that was a bit strange because i was use to picking up a a bagel and cream cheese and a coffee. That little voice kept saying that I didn't want that and I could really eat the yogurt and be satisfied. My husband brought me " The Biggest Loser" for XBOX and I started working out and I am going to be honest 20 minutes in I wanted to quit. That little voice in my head kept telling me that I could do it. I completed the 30 minute workout and I felt a since of accomplishment. I believe that sometimes we have to program our " voice in our head" to say when I say I CAN'T please tell me that I CAN. I don't think anyone will say that the journey is easy.You will have many obstacles in the way life will happen and you may have challenges how you chose to deal with the challenges it totally up to you. I truly believe that this journey has taught me so much about the things that I CAN do and not so much of what I CAN'T do.

Hello everyone, Its has been so ling since I have blogged. So much has happened well lets start with the numbers first . Surgery 7/27/11 279lbs . Current weight 216 lbs. My lowest 193. I will admit that I am upset with my current number simply because I just have not focused on what I was doing. I had to get a small unfill because my esophagus was enlarged and my dr. suggested that i get an unfill. So I don't have the same " sweet spot" that I had before. I currently have 7.75cc in my band. I had 8.25 so I am sure I will get back to my sweet spot. s Well, on another note, I have some great news I GOT MARRIED!! Yes, I got married March 23, 2012 and I am so happy. I have known my husband since high school, but we never dated. We lived our lives and one day I saw him on a dating website and sent him a message on February 28,2012, we went on our first date March 1,2012. I must say I have great husband and I am truly blessed to have this man in my life. He offers the support when I need it. He is my best friend and I wouldn't trade him for the world. I am not trying to settle my mind and get back to basics. I have to admit I have stop focusing on what I should be doing. I think being a newlywed and just enjoy the blessing that god has givien me. I lost my grandmother in July and I was extremely hurt and that also made my focus on was still off. I have a talk with myself, Life happens and I have to stay accountable for the things that I do and that I don't do. I am making a promise to myself that I will get back to onederland and I will celebrate all the small and big victories that I have along the way.I do feel that having this blog will allow me to see for myself how far I have come.

Good Morning Band mates, I am feeling good this morning. Just completed my workout for the morning and I am ready to tackle today's journey. Something very interesting happened to me this morning. I was coming out the gym and bumped into a lady that I use to work with Nora. Now Nora was the weight watchers queen, she could tell you how many points something was just by looking at it. I am sitting here laughing because as much as she was aware of how many points things were she was big as a house. I couldn't understand why a person with her knowledge was still so big. The first thing she said to me was wow you look good. I said thank you and was open about having had WLS. I wonder why sometimes people feel they need to keep what they have done a secret. I think that if I can help another person just by telling them my story and showing them the results of what I did, then why not. I think we make things bigger then they really need to be. I think that we forget the celebrate the small things and allow ourselves to enjoy things for what they are and not what they could have been. I think that we get so caught up with the numbers that we allow the numbers to determine how we are going to feel. I have a week that I didn't lose anything, and yes it can be disappointing and you feel sad but when I look at the scale and I don't see 279 I am still happy. You have to train yourself to celebrate the simple things. Remove anything negative you may have about this journey and replace it with positive thinking. I worked out today, I celebrate that I am able to do 60 minutes on a treadmill. I couldn't have done that before. I celebrate the small thing of putting on a size 16 and not having to wear a size 22. We sometimes forget how far we have come in the journey. You will only be defeated when you allow yourself to be defeated. I challenge anyone on the blogs that get upset when they don't lose to look back on what you did for the week and how did you eat? did you work out? are you drinking enough water? all these things are things you have to look and and think about what you need to do to make things better for yourself. Lap band is a tool, it is not the deciding factor to your life.

Good Morning Band mates, It has been so long since I have added an entry and I will do my best to keep up with my entries. Well, lets start with the math. Surgery date 7/27/11 279, current weight 219. goal 165. I am very happy with my progress and I think the more I see the numbers change the more I push myself. My goal is to get to 165 by my 34th birthday which is March 30th. I work hard and I know if I continue the path that I am on that I will meet. it. Now down to my topic of the day Sabotage. I have read some blogs and once again I am reading about not losing any or not losing as much as they would have like. I think that some people are self Sabotaging themselves. I am reading things that makes me wonder why did you chose to make a change in your life by getting the surgery if you weren't going to make the necessary changes for the changes to occur? I make a choice to now eat right and to work out 4 times a week, everything is about the choices that you make. Stop with the Sabotage and look deep within yourself. I workout with a friend of mine that also had the lapband done and I think because she is going through the same thing I am going through it make us both work harder to get to our goal. The more you say that you can't the more you won't. You are what you think, change your thoughts about yourself and stop comparing yourself to others and enjoy the journey you are on right now. You may have bumps in the road and you may have a set back and that's just life. How you chose to deal with your set backs are totally up to you. when I work out I listen to Joel Osteen and I listen to the positive things that he says and I apply them to my everyday life. You are a beautiful person and you have so much to offer, you have to believe it within yourself. Until tomorrow MsOutlaw.

I want to say I am sorry for not keeping up with my entries. I left my job and started my own business, I have had this business for about 2 years but I am not fully involved with the business full time. www.jurneeservices.com. I am very let me get down to the math. Surgery date 7/27/11 281 current weight 241... Very proud of my progress and I will continue to work hard. Who would have thought that cleaning homes would be the best workout. Now, remember the guy I told you I was with for 4 years off and on? Well, we are working on things. We have always been in contact even when I was seeing Paulton, I know that was wrong but I was with this man for 4 years and he has my heart. I started doing the LOVE DARE which is a great book for anyone looking to restore your relationship/marriage. I love Teddy and I think that because of my insecurites and love self esteem that I could allow him to love me the way he wanted and I listen to what everyone else would say about the way he should. I am happy and the reason why I am happy is simply that I am now doing things on my terms and making the decisions that I feel is right for me. I had a thing called Approval addiction. I would want to make everyone else happy and do what every I would have to do to make everyone around me happy ad I would forget all about myself and what I wanted to make me happy. I think as I go along this journey I am gaining a whole new person. I am truly happy. I look forward to waking up in the morning with a smile in my heart. I get excited when I meet a goal or challenge myself to do something I use to be scare of doing. I smile wider and sing a little louder, When I pray I find myself thanking God over and over for the blessing that he has given me. I smile because for so long I walked with my head down. I have been reaading blogs and I am still finding people with the victims mentality. I am not losing weight, the scale is not moving , I am so frustrated and it is starting to get real old. people this is the greatest journey you an every be on embrace the good and the bad days. embrace change, I will say it again you can not keep doing the same things and expecting different results. I realize that you will have challenge and you will fall short of some things but keep going. push yourself harder then you ever have before. I had to realize how much I loved Teddy and my three boys ( Teddy has a son that lives with him) I had a family and made a lot of mistakes that I lost my family. I would blame Teddy for the reason the relationship didn't work, but truth be told I had more to do with it then he did. I was moody and had an attitude and it was impossible to be around me because I was so miserable. The hardest thing I think is to look yourself i the mirror and self evaluate yourself. When I did it I cried for about two hours. i asked God to heal me and to wash me clean. My vision is becoming clearer and I am enjoying the things that I see. I am finally doing things on my terms

I had a very interesting week, my now ex reached out to me on Tuesday. I wasn't sure how I would respond once we did speak. I at first would only give him one word answers and I could tell that he was a little uncomfortable which was the reason why I did it. I am not sure what happened but in the mist of the conversation I had to change the direction. I felt like he may be thinking that I was heart broken and that I was so unhappy and the truth is that is far from the case. I am disappointed that we are no longer together, but not to the point that I need to sit and morn loss of a boyfriend. I am now starting to understand when people say that people enter you life for a season. I believe that he was there to be the support that I needed during my process with my surgery and he gave me great insight to things that I would have possibly took as a negative experience. I am not in the least mad at him and I made sure during the conversation that I let him know just that. I can hold my head up today and say I am proud of who I am becoming. everything is a working progress and I know God has got a blessing with my name on it. Paul told me that he didn't want to end things but he wanted to work out his issues and really be able to be the man that he knows I deserve. I took what he said and to be honest I respected that he was able to acknowledge his issues and not put me through unnecessary drama. I can also say that I will not be waiting around for him to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up. I think we someone times put our lives on hold for others and we don't allow ourselves to live life the way we see fit. I truly believe that my life has changed for the better. I feel like I now want to take control over who I want to be and not what everyone else wants me to be. until tomorrow Msoutlaw

Over the weekend I was having a conversation with a friend of mine. I started to notice a trend in the things she would say, she would say well this person did that and this person did this to me. I was more then willing to listen to what was being said and really tried to find the true meaning of what she was saying. to be honest I was lost, I was lost because I would hear what everyone did to her and yet she never took accountability for the things that she said in did. Today's task is to start holding yourself accountable for the things you do and the things you don't do. I read someone's blog today and I was soo mad that I had to back out of reading it. She was complaining the scale hasn't moved for her and how the people around her around her stressing her out so much is going on. I am trying to figure out who said that having the lap band done would make all your troubles go away? who said that the lap band was a problem solver? I was trying to see in the blog if she worked out or if she was eating the right thing? its easy to blame someone or something when it doesn't turn out the way you hoped. If you want change you have to let go of the fear. I think we are so scared of whats behind the new door that we choose to stay in the same OLD situations. If I don't loose anything I can say well, I didn't work out or I didn't eat the right things. I can't blame it on anyone other then myself. Keep it real with yourself. I like to workout in the morning, I make sure that I get up early enough to make the time to work out. Some people may say that they are not morning people, and I say this if you needed to catch a plane you would get up early enough to do so. Why can't you get up early enough to take care of your body? Reading the blog really bothered me because its sad that nothing is being learned though out the journey, and sadly she will remain the same way until she challenges herself to make a difference.

Yesterday was such a good feeling, I prayed and asked God to allow me to relive that same feeling again. I woke up this morning in a good mood on purpose this morning . I didn't care that it was raining or that I had a meeting with a client who at the last minute cancelled. I care that I woke up with joy in my heart. I think we beat ourselves up over the smallest things and we carry it all though out the day. I think if we make it our business to say no matter what I will be OK and not look to the negative side of things when something we were expecting goes wrong. I have read some blogs and when someone doesn't lose as much as they would have liked their mood changes. I am very much understanding of how disappointment can make you feel. We have to change the way we handle the disappointment. That's what this journey is all about doing things differently then how we did it before. We can't keep doing the same things and expecting different results. I do things now on purpose, like saying good morning to a complete stranger or smiling at the lady in line behind me. I have no idea who they are but my hello and my smile may be what they needed to get them out of their bad moods. We have to really focus on the things we have and not so much of what we don't have. remember the 5 things that you are thankful for. I am thankful for..... 1. My God is forgiving and loving God 2. My Kids 3. My health 4. My Children's Health 5. Courage, and the ability to take a chances. You may not be were you want to be today, but you are a lot closer then you were yesterday. Until tomorrow. Msoutlaw