PrettyLilButterfly

Curious to how youre feeling sweetie, can you give us an update? I'm 9 months po from band to sleeve..loving every second. few issues now and then but compared to the band it's a God send!!

I was told by my partner I took the easy way out...it hasn't been easy. But it is by far the most rewarding thing that's happened in my life since my children. The postiives far outweigh the negative. Matter of a fact the only "Negatives" I can think of offhand are 1)no more buffets 2) no cruises 3) loose skin... hmm..that's pretty much all I got. But I have positives for those 'negatives'. 1) so what? really? all you can eat? pfft who needs that. And umm now I save TONS of money! 2) eh, ships are over-rated. rather use that money to go somewhere exotic 3) that's why God made girdles And my skin is my badge of honor. and it really isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Considering i'm 100 lbs down, it's hardly noticeable. I could spend all day listing the positives..but it boils down to 1) I love me, inside and out 2) i have prolonged my life Healthwise to be around for my future grandchildren 3) I feel alive for the first time ever. I have no restrictions. I can do what I want without running out of breath or fear of not fitting/being too heavy. I know it's hard to not pay attention to what others tell us..but your'e doing this for YOU for YOUR health..not for theirs.. They don't always understand the struggles we've had in the past.

YAY you!! Congrats!! The waiting pre-op is always the killer! Frustrating, but so worth it!

When I look at this picture, a song comes to mind. (I was almost at my largest, think i was 10-15 larger than this at one point). The song is called reflections Look at me You may think you see Who I really am But you'll never know me Every day It's as if I play a part Now I see If I wear a mask I can fool the world But I cannot fool my heart Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show Who I am inside? This has always been one of my favorite songs..and I guess in so many ways it was MY song for so many years. When I was larger, I didn't feel like that was the true me. Everytime I looked in the mirror its as if the reflection was a stranger. Who is she? And what made it worse is I also hid the fact I gay. I didn't hide that too long, I did come out within a couple of years of realizing who I truly am. Maybe that's what started my journey to self discovery. Would I have had the surgery had I not come out? I spent so many years wondering who the hell I am (well was rather). The day I came out to myself was a wonderful moment. Admitting to myself WHO I AM. Coming out to my family was the second most wonderful moment. Dad took it ok. Mom went through a range of emotions. I wasn't looking for acceptance, however, the freedom of being who i am was beyond words. Now 10 years later, my life has been the best it's ever been. The only and final struggle was the girl in the mirror.. It's been 2 years since my 1st surgery...and I look in the mirror each morning, Smile wide..and giggle "There she is..." There's the person I was supposed to be all this time.. I am so grateful to God for giving me the strength to proceed with my life change. And to my family and friends for being 100% supportive (well minus 1 person, but it is what it is). Each and every day they keep me in check. At first I had issues with some of them sneaking a peek at what I was eating. now however, it's a welcome glance! My favorite person is my co-worker and wonderful friend Granny Cathy. She has been so supportive and such a wonderful friend. I was being bad a few weeks ago and grabbed a kit-kat (sorry those are and always will be my weakness). After I nibbled one piece of it, she looked over, saw it...and took it from me! I almost died laughing. i knew i shouldn't eat it. and she knew i would do it anyway. i love her for that. i know some individuals struggle with this surgery before, during and after...i can't express to them enough how wonderful this life change truly is. I wish I had done this in my 30's, but i'm a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. just thankful i did it when i did. no regrets....

Height = 5'3" Highest weight = 250 Surgery weight = 217 (thanks to preop liquid diet, lost 22 lbs) Surgery date = Lapband -9/26/2011 Sleeve Revision - 12/26/2012 (was 171 going into this surgery) Today's weight = 137 (down 102 lbs) Goal 139 - Met in June 2013.

NICE!! i remember that feeling.. i felt..more human..so to speak. i hate the charts and their ratings "Obese" "mobridly Obese" UGH! Nasty nasty words!!

Marvelous darling!! Simply marvelous!! keep on trucking!!

Congrats on your wonderful success and fromb being ONLY 5 LBS From your goal!!! WOOHOO!!

Too bad you couldn't have just drove into Santa Fe or ALB!! I've always wondered how Del Sol is. Everything going good so far?

That would be fabulous I see you got your surgery at Lovelace as well. I had Dr. Tyner (he was only there a short time due to the abq health partners 'divorce'.). He was amazing. Though I do hear great things about Sanchez.

I was what I call a closet eater. I would eat very little in front of people..but once they weren't looking, oh man. I would start nibbling. I wouldn't consume mass amounts, it was just the fact I would eat a second meal when no one was around. I'm blessed I have that under control now. I am able to eat 6 mini meals and that keeps my happy. And since it's only 5 bites a meal, I dont worry about it. i've lost what I wanted to and have maintained where I'm at for about 2 months now.

Loose clothes are a must! I couldn't fit into anything. My mom had to run to walmart for sweats!! I also packed a kindle to read. you don't sleep much when you're in there!

take it as a blessing in disguise! It's your time to get your new life started. It'll be great! no worries darling

Looking fabulous darling!!

Thank you all so much! your comments mean the world. As just like I predicted, by today, I OWN This hair do! It came out so good I never want to wash it LOL. it's short and spunky, LIKE ME! LOL

I'm reading post after post in regards to whom people have told. And it seems very few are telling people outside of their 'cirle'. Me, I've told the world. If someone at work asks, I tell them. My job knew the second i started contemplating the surgery. I think part of my decision to tell everyone was I work for the company/hospital who does the surgery. i was the first one at my insurance company to get lapband. and now i am the first one to get the revision. i actually considered trying to get a job at the bariatric clinic. everyone at work has been so amazingly supportive. two of my close friends at work have gotten surgeries too. i feel like i've inspired others to follow suit, or to at least go to a clnic. i've sort of become the poster child for the surgery. matter of a fact, i may soon literally be the post child. marketing has asked if i'd be willing to be part of our 'my story' campaign. I have already put a testimonial on the website. they want to do a photo shoot (WHAT?? WHO? ME?? really? YIKES, YAY) most of the posters i would be on are within the insurance company and the hospitals. there's a very slight (NO WAY! YIKES) possibility i may be on a billboard. see here in new mexico, not very many doctors offer the surgery. matter of a fact, it appears to just be our hospital here in albuquerque and one in santa fe. so it's a huge deal to have success stories and advertisement when a huge part of your advertising is 'only hospital in alb to offer wls'. i don't know if all this will come to light, but i'm willing to do what it takes to inspire others. or to be there for anyone who has questions. granted, one of my best friends is the manager of the clinic now, so i doubt she'll let it go. she'll make sure my mug shot is out there! haha..

Hello Checking in on my fellow New Mexicans Albuquerque here. 2 years total post op (year one was lapband, was sleeved in December 2012.). Down 100 lbs and loving life !!! Hope to hear from you.

I have/am experiencing the feelings of departure. I feel so disconnected from my partner at times. Like you, we connected over food. We loved going out and trying new places to eat. And through no fault of hers, that has stopped for me. Food isn't what is used to be, it's not my life focus. And it still is her for. I had hopes that when she found out she was diabetic a few months ago, she too would change and we'd be ok. But it hasn't. She wakes up asking where we should eat that day...my mind isn't on food. And as we're getting ready for the day, she's already thinking of dinner or a meal for the next day. I would say this is all just me and what I chose to do with my life. But a comment she made a few weeks ago made it clear to me, she's feeling it too. She said "when we met we both loved food, we bonded over food. Now that you don't eat, what do we have in common". Yes that was a kick in the groin. I'm thinking "umm we shared other loves but food". I am still struggling with how i feel about her. I won't lie and say watching her eat doesn't sometimes disgust me, but again I made the choice to change my life. I cannot condemn her for what she's choosing. Will it ultimately split us up, deep down I think so. We're struggling to find other ways to connect. I never thought food would be the demise of a relationship...but apparently it is. So my darling, that is my personal answer to your question.

So I did it. I am minus about 5 lbs of ... HAIR!! I could feel the weight coming off.. I was slightly freaked out, but knew it was something I've always wanted to do. My G/F was not too happy. But she'll get over it. It usually takes me 2-3 days to 'own' my new hairstyles. So by monday, I'll be rocking my do like nobody's business Im proud of myself for taking this leap. It may not seem like much to others, but is a world to me. It's like wearing that sexy dress for the frist time, or being able to wear knee high boots because you can get them over your calf. Or in my case, it feels like being naked in a crowd for the first time. I feel so...exposed. But not necessarily in a bad way. It's forcing me to hold my head up and to strut my stuff.. Look at world, I'm on the loose!! HAHA

Grr the website won't work for me but i do know i've lost one of my kids!! my youngest is 102 lbs.. wow..that's kind of..wow...YAY ME!

First and foremost YOUR safety is what's important here. I can only imagine how anxious you are, but at this point, the safety of you and the staff is key here. You will get your surgery and everything will be fine! I'm sure your surgeon will call you and let you know the status of his surgeries!!

I am going through the same thing. Granted, I've been with my partner going on 7 years...but it's not the same. At 250lbs, I was like you, lights on nothing held back. I was so confident and proud. And now....I can't even stand the sight of my body in the mirror. I feel like a shrivled piece of fruit I often think I wouldn't be able to be with anyone else. If her and I split up, I don't know that I would let anyone see me... but the fact is, they need to love ALL of me for me... not just me with clothes on!! i'm proud of the new me and love me.. and you should be proud too! Let it all out girl!!!

So tonight is somewhat of a big night for me. Due to my weight, I've always kept my hair long. I guess I felt I could 'hide' behind it..HAHA imagine? I kept it down to my waist. A few years ago, I got 'brave' and cut it to my shoulders. Mainly because my hair is super thick and heavy. Well I've ALWAYS wanted to have short hair. In my opinion, the less the better. Of course I'm struggling with my g/f about the length. I know it's not HER decision, but we all know we refrain from doing certain things due to our significant others. So her and I spent a couple of hours the other night going over hairstyles. We finally came up with one. So I'm doing.. i'm finally shedding some of this hair. I know to some this may not seem like a big deal, for me it's HUGE. To expose my neck, my cheeks, my face, my back. YIKES! But guess what, back fat is gone, the hump on the back of my neck I had started getting, GONE. my cheeks (they were my signature chubby cheeks) gone.. so it's safe now.. I think this is by far the 'biggest' thing i've done since surgery. The next big thing will be the tattoo I want across my back... so here is what I came up with for hair... i'm SOO Excited. And pray my stylist does it just right!!

First of all, congrats on the upcoming surgery! Secondly, my emotions sound just like yours on a daily basis! With removing the need/want for food, I guess all our other emotions are on high! I'm sure part of it is because you're on liquids only right now. Oh lord was I grumpy! I was so angry with everyone because they could eat.. I glared at my family and they ate dinner. UGH. Then I'd get upset at myself for feeling that way, this isn't their fault. I made the choice to start a new chapter in my life. Just take it one day at a time darling. Keep up the praying ( I say my serenity prayer EVERY morning and anytime I find myself feeling an unwanted emotion). Just pray for patience and guidance. You'll be fine! It sounds like your husband is supportive, that is great and will keep you focused!! Good luck !

Having feelings of guilt today. It's almost the "is this too good to be true" feeling. I am at the thinnest I've been in my life, I can do things I've never been able to do, wear clothes I would never dream of wearing before, I pretty much eat what I want (within limits of course), have NO health problems...I should be at the happiest point of my life, but I feel so guilty. Do I regret anything? no of course not, but guilt is creeping in. I think it's stemming from seeing overweight people at work struggling. I see the look on the faces, it's such a common look "don't look at me" "i'm the biggest person on here" "omg everyone is loking at me". I know those looks oh too well. Trying to hide in the corner of each room your in praying no one pays attention to you. Doing everything you can to avoid drawing attention to yourself. I want to walk up to them and tell them about me and my story..I want to inspire them to better themselves.. but wait, who am I to judge? Who am I to say they need an 'improvement' in their lives? Just because I'm at a healthy weight, do I look at the world different? Yes I do. Am I horrible? I don't judge, not by any means...I just want everyone to feel as good as I do. It pains me to see overweight people in wheel chairs or in hoverrounds. It pains me to see overweight people with oxygen tanks. I feel so shallow right now. My G/f gets on me and says "Not everyone can take the easy way out and get surgery"... haha..easy way out.. Yes because it's been easy. I spent the 1st year after lapband throwing up and practially living on liquids only. Yes, that was easy. I loved it. I loved starving inbetween my 1st and 2nd meal. Oh and I loved having my lap band removed, a hearnia repaired, most of my stomach removed, falling in the hospital, bleeding internally losing over 4 pints of blood, and having my spleen repaired the next morning. Yes I loved that.. WTF?? This path has not been easy. Now I'm exactly 2 years from the date of my 1st surgery. and NOW , yes life is easier. I don't focus on food, I eat when i'm hungry. and i feel great, i'm still losing and most of all i'm MAINTAINING. I've dreamt of this all my life. and now i'm here..and today.. i feel like i'm not worthy. SIGH.......