Alexandra

Early on, I didn't wait, no. But I lived and learned, and now if I WERE to PB, I'd absolutely stick to liquids for at LEAST 24 hours. I've had the vicious cycle where inflammation comes on the heels of a bad PB episode, and it's WAY worse than avoiding it in the first place.

I'm going to lock this thread. If Willbethin, Fishy, TellyMelly and PapaJoe will give me permission to delete their irrelevant and insulting posts, I'll do so and unlock the thread. Please get in touch with me by PM.

Behave, people, or this thread is going to be locked. STOP throwing personal comments back and forth. All of you.

That's excellent, Cashley. Thanks!! :hug:

This is the part I'm having trouble envisioning. I know what they pay their current person; I know they've already said "$xxx (negotiable)"; I know THEY know that I know their bottom line better than they do; I just can't picture how this conversation is actually going to go. Them: "What are your salary requirements?" My instinctive response would be: "You're paying B $xxx, and you're paying me $8K to do the books. Combine those numbers and we get $XXX+8K. I want $XXX + 15K because I am MUCH better qualified than B is, and I know you can afford me. Take it or leave it." That won't work, probably, right?

What I'm making now is almost exactly what they're paying their current person, so when I add in what they're ALSO paying me to do their books, I get my floor number. I'd just get to combine two jobs into one, basically. My current job has better benefits, though, so I can throw those around as well. But basically I think we're all in the same ballpark, so I just want to avoid getting taken advantage of.

Cashley, does it matter what I'm making now? I mean, how appropriate is it to say "I'm making XXX now" with the implication being "beat that if you want me, big boys"?

Thanks, Jack. Can I borrow your AARRR growl? That should help! The field is notoriously underpaid, because of the not-for-profit status. Many other people in similar jobs have law degrees and "real" jobs, for example. But it's in NYC, and I am and have been their bookkeeper for the intervening period so I know exactly how much money they have. And it's a WHOLE lot more than they had when I left (and they replaced me with 1.5 people!). (Before anyone asks, there was a policy change the year after I left that allowed them to start accepting corporate sponsorships. That's why they have more money. It's not because of anything I did or didn't do.)

It's the executive-directorship of a not-for-profit membership organization, and I left because I couldn't continue commuting five days a week with a baby at home. Plus, I was burned out and exhausted. Now I know part of that was my undiagnosed and untreated thyroid condition, plus the demands of new mom-hood. I'm a whole new woman now (and a whole lot smaller) and completely ready to pick up the reins again.

Wow, Cashley, thanks!! This is a not-for-profit, though, not a corporation, so I doubt I'd be able to go "quite a bit higher" than my floor. We're really only talking about a 10K difference between what they've mentioned as being "negotiable" and what I would consider "really good as a start." If we split that difference and add in the flexibility to telecommute two days a week, I'm GOLDEN. :biggrin1:

Thanks, Gopher. The other things are valuable, of course, but having had this job in the past I know there's only so much vacation one can TAKE without it biting me in the butt. At one point in that job, my bennies included four weeks' vacation and five personal days. I'd racked up almost three months of unused vacation after several years, which turned out to be a good thing since I used it all for maternity leave. But there is something I DO want, and that's telecommutation. I'm still going around and around in my head about how to bring that up. The job is one where it would be, I believe, within my own sphere of responsibility to decide how and when to incorporate telecommuting--but of course I will be upfront about my plans. What I mean is, I don't want to ASK them if I can, but rather get into the job and then set it up so that I can work from home some days just because it works better for me that way. It's definitely in the back of my head, and I'll reserve it as a bargaining chip. It really is worth more to me than the 5K difference we'd likely be talking about anyway.

So I'm past the first hurdle in getting back my "real" job that I left seven years ago, a job I loved and to which I desperately want to return. I had a conference-call interview with a search committee, and now they've invited me back for a 3D interview with three people. Here's where I need help: How does one negotiate for a salary? I haven't interviewed for a job in eons. Maybe ever? The last time I talked about compensation for a new job, I took what was on offer and left it at that. I was 23 years old. They've said the salary is "negotiable." I know what I need to make, and would love to make more (of course). I know they can afford my floor, and how high they might be willing to go depends, I guess, on how badly they want me. If they can't meet my floor I'd be prepared to decline, though sadly, but as I said I know they can afford it. But I don't want to settle for my floor just because I know they can swing it. I know they can swing more, if they want me. So how does this work in the real world? When and how does the money discussion take place? Before or after they offer me the job? Are they going to bring it up at our meeting next week? Do I ask what they're offering and make a counteroffer? Doesn't a job offer involve a salary offer as well? How does this work?!?!?! To complicate things, this is not a corporate setting, and these people are likely just as naive as I am. I'm trying to prepare, so I can appear confident in this process. I already know I'm their first interview that day (out of 5 candidates, I'm told), and I can't decide if that's good or bad. My experience with the organization makes me, I'd think, uniquely well-qualified for the job, but of course I'm not counting my chickens just yet. Thanks for any war stories or tips in this arena. I really appreciate it!!

Tellymelly, I can't tell if you're joking or not but I hope you are. Let's not assume anyone is "lying" about anything, OK? Thanks. And Papajoe, I did remove your post since you gave me permission. And you might want to rread through the thread before commenting; I think you'll find your questions were answered.

Nope, it's the ice cream. It's miracle stuff, I tells ya!! Congratulations, darling Vines! I hope these five stay away and that many more of their friends follow suit. :hug:

This topic hits home for me, too. I've always been the largest person in the room, the biggest one in my circle, etc. I always acted like a thin person because I was surrounded by them--I never had any fat friends--and being big really didn't slow me down any. Then once, in 1990, I went on Optifast because I was getting married. I lost 75 lbs in 12 weeks and the wedding pictures show a different "me" than any that I have from other times in my life. It was a very weird and disturbing time; I was giddy at the weight loss but HATED being the center of attention all the time. As soon as the fast was over I went back to eating "normally" and my weight came back on over the next several years. Now all that's left of that experience is the negative sensation that I wish I'd never done it--it just showed me that being thinner was "better" and my inability to keep the weight off added to my misery. In addition to being fat, which I'd always been, I was now a FAILURE as well. But the loss this time has been different. It's been slower, more moderate, giving me time to get my head and body around it. I had time this time to wear clothes in intermediate sizes for more than a week at a time, and though I've continued losing well beyond the low point I reached before I have never felt like a stranger in the mirror the way I did last time. Sometimes, sure, I have to look twice, but it's never with a sense of non-recognition. Slower is better, in all sorts of ways.

Elizabethsew, thanks for the sobering reminder that ANY surgery is not to be undertaken lightly. Do you have any knowledge to share as to why this person GOT sepsis in the first place? While there IS a complication rate with banding--as there is with any surgery right up through wart removal--there's no question it's MUCH lower for banding than more invasive surgeries. That's a simple fact, true. However, we shouldn't pretend that surgery is a walk in the park, even if it feels that way to some people. It's a big deal, no matter what.

But will they consider a facial blemish--however suspicious it is--to need emergency or "urgent" care? I can't imagine they'd pay for someone to go to the ER with a headache, for example. You have to find the appropriate care provider for the issue, and for this issue it probably is a primary-care doctor. If it's NOT cancer, he'll be able to tell you that and set your mind at ease. If he's suspicious, that's the time to beat the bushes for a dermatologist. Go see a PCP, ASAP. KWIM? :confused:

The Vanguard is indeed made by Inamed.

Call your insurer and ask them for a referral to a dermatologist or a primary care doc. If there REALLY are none in your area, ask THEM what you should do. You have an urgent medical reason for needing to see one, and if they can't set you up they should be willing to cover the cost of one that's out of network. No carrier wants to be put in the position of telling someone they can't have medical care: that way lies big lawsuits. But if you go to an urgent care facility or get care before talking with them, they have no reason to cover any claims you might submit. So call member services and see what their advice is. But get it looked at!

Hi Kristin, I feel for you. :confused: This is the sort of thing, I think, that started my round of horrible reflux last summer, and that resulted in an unfill. I guess I didn't give the initial irritation enough time to heal completely. Can you get fluids down at all? If so, make a pact with yourself to stay on them for three or four days. It's super important that you let things settle down, because additional irritation will make things worse. Call your doctor, of course. But give your body a chance to avoid needing an unfill by babying it totally for several days. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon!!

I have the tall doctor's scale too, and I love it. It goes to 350 so I always knew the awful truth about my weight. Mine must be in pretty good condition (though it's not at all new) because I've never had to set the 0. And it has a bubble level indicator (like that in a carpenter's level) to show the weight. I think mine's Health-O-Meter, too. That's just a brand name; they make lots of models. It's accurate enough for me--that is to say, consistently at home. My PCP now weighs me on a regular mechanical step-on thing they have in the (carpeted) hallway, so I completely disregard what THEY think I weigh. (My surgeon has an electronic doodad, but I haven't been weighed there in a looooong time.)

I've definitely noticed that people who don't know me treat me differently now as compared to when I weighed 340 lbs. Specifically, I guess, the moms I encounter at my childrens' schools. They used to ignore me completely and I was fine with that--too busy to chat, and all. But now I actually know a few of them by name! Most of them I've only known this year, so they're not the same exact people who used to ignore me. This is a whole new group of moms, and there's no question I'm no longer invisible. This is sometimes not a good thing, like on Monday mornings.

That's not the way I read that, Murphles. It's totally true that fear of PBing can prevent it from happening! And as she says, it's not that won't ever do it, but it just hasn't happened yet. The first PB I ever had was a result of a moment's inattention. And no matter how careful or fearful we are being, that can happen to anyone.

I'm not a Canadian and have no opinion on the matter, but I'll bet it's due to the fact that lots of people only click on "New Posts" and don't even consider which section things are in when they go to post on an interesting thread. That's one of the downsides of that feature--the forum "lines" tend to get blurry.

Awww, thanks, y'all. :biggrin1: And I agree that this is the best messageboard site I've ever seen--and I am NOT taking any credit for that. From the very first minute I saw it I felt that way. For me, the lack of advertising makes it a uniquely welcoming place and one I want to preserve in any way I can. So by being a moderator, I'm just acting out of Enlightened self-interest. Alex B. has given and continues to give the banding community an incredibly valuable gift. :clap2: :clap2: :kiss2: :kiss2: