LUCYCAT

Right before I had my surgery my boyfriend broke up with me. The idea of me losing weight intimidated the life out of him. That was in May of 2011. I had my surgery in August 2011. I have lost 70 pounds. Recently I have been kicking around the idea of getting back on the horse so to speak. I have gone on a few first dates. I have tried to set it up to where we do not eat on these dates. More like a sit and talk and drink coffee date.
 
I honestly have no idea how to explain my decision to a stranger. So far it hasn’t been a problem. To be fair, the guys I have dated so far have been…well let’s just say we haven’t been compatible.
 
I’ve been talking to a new guy lately. I like him. I like him a lot. He is very different from anyone I have ever met. He wants to take me out to dinner. I am nervous about eating in front of him. I thought if I ordered soup maybe it would be okay. But I know from experience that people freak out when they see how little I eat.
 
I dread the idea of his first impression of me. I dread having to explain that I have had VSG. I really like this guy. And to be honest- I am tired of dating. I had pretty much just given up when I met him. He wants to go out next weekend. I am nervous and worried. I like him- I didn’t really like the others.

Right before I had my surgery my boyfriend broke up with me. The idea of me losing weight intimidated the life out of him. That was in May of 2011. I had my surgery in August 2011. I have lost 70 pounds. Recently I have been kicking around the idea of getting back on the horse so to speak. I have gone on a few first dates. I have tried to set it up to where we do not eat on these dates. More like a sit and talk and drink coffee date.
 
I honestly have no idea how to explain my decision to a stranger. So far it hasn’t been a problem. To be fair, the guys I have dated so far have been…well let’s just say we haven’t been compatible.
 
I’ve been talking to a new guy lately. I like him. I like him a lot. He is very different from anyone I have ever met. He wants to take me out to dinner. I am nervous about eating in front of him. I thought if I ordered soup maybe it would be okay. But I know from experience that people freak out when they see how little I eat.
 
I dread the idea of his first impression of me. I dread having to explain that I have had VSG. I really like this guy. And to be honest- I am tired of dating. I had pretty much just given up when I met him. He wants to go out next weekend. I am nervous and worried. I like him- I didn’t really like the others.

Right before I had my surgery my boyfriend broke up with me. The idea of me losing weight intimidated the life out of him. That was in May of 2011. I had my surgery in August 2011. I have lost 70 pounds. Recently I have been kicking around the idea of getting back on the horse so to speak. I have gone on a few first dates. I have tried to set it up to where we do not eat on these dates. More like a sit and talk and drink coffee date.
 
I honestly have no idea how to explain my decision to a stranger. So far it hasn’t been a problem. To be fair, the guys I have dated so far have been…well let’s just say we haven’t been compatible.
 
I’ve been talking to a new guy lately. I like him. I like him a lot. He is very different from anyone I have ever met. He wants to take me out to dinner. I am nervous about eating in front of him. I thought if I ordered soup maybe it would be okay. But I know from experience that people freak out when they see how little I eat.
 
I dread the idea of his first impression of me. I dread having to explain that I have had VSG. I really like this guy. And to be honest- I am tired of dating. I had pretty much just given up when I met him. He wants to go out next weekend. I am nervous and worried. I like him- I didn’t really like the others.

Right before I had my surgery my boyfriend broke up with me. The idea of me losing weight intimidated the life out of him. That was in May of 2011. I had my surgery in August 2011. I have lost 70 pounds. Recently I have been kicking around the idea of getting back on the horse so to speak. I have gone on a few first dates. I have tried to set it up to where we do not eat on these dates. More like a sit and talk and drink coffee date.
 
I honestly have no idea how to explain my decision to a stranger. So far it hasn’t been a problem. To be fair, the guys I have dated so far have been…well let’s just say we haven’t been compatible.
 
I’ve been talking to a new guy lately. I like him. I like him a lot. He is very different from anyone I have ever met. He wants to take me out to dinner. I am nervous about eating in front of him. I thought if I ordered soup maybe it would be okay. But I know from experience that people freak out when they see how little I eat.
 
I dread the idea of his first impression of me. I dread having to explain that I have had VSG. I really like this guy. And to be honest- I am tired of dating. I had pretty much just given up when I met him. He wants to go out next weekend. I am nervous and worried. I like him- I didn’t really like the others.

I lost another 4 lbs this week. 22 pounds since my surgery. 37 pounds since the start of the year. I can wear clothes now that I haven't worn in ages. It is nice to have so many clothing options.
 
I have been hitting my protein goals every day. I usually hit or come close to hitting my water goals. I exercise every single day. Sometimes twice a day. Of course, that exercise is just walking swiftly. I am hoping the doc releases me a week early on the serious exercise. I don't see walking getting me much further.
 
I have been struggling with depression. Not because I regret what I have done. Not because I miss food or feel left out. Well, I am not sure why I feel this way. It is an odd hopeless feeling. I don't get excited about fitting into my old clothes. I don't get excited about the idea of losing more weight. I am just kind of going through the motions.
 
I had read that depression could be an issue for WLS patients. I am hoping this passes quickly.

I can’t believe it is finally here. After months of patiently crossing items off of my to do list, psychological evaluation, PCP meetings, Dietitian meetings, blood work, ekgs. The list was endless.
 
I am here.
 
This afternoon my mom and I will make the 2 hour trip to the city where I will have my surgery. I have to be at the hospital at 8am and they should start cutting on me at 9.
 
Maybe it’s cold feet- or perhaps pre-surgery jitters. I find that I am not as excited as I thought I would be. I find that I worry. I worry that I am at least an hour away from any medical facility that knows squat about VSG. Our local healthcare is a joke.
 
I worry that I will have complications, and have nowhere to go…and no one to take me.
 
It will be fine. I am sure of it. My surgeon does bariatric surgery exclusively. He has done hundreds if not thousands of VSG surgeries. He seemed to think that mine was going to be ultra easy. I hope he is right.
 
I am nervous. I worry about my mom. She isn’t in the best of health herself. And she gets lost easy. I worry that she will get lost in the city. I worry that she wont eat or take her meds right and she will crash again. I worry more about her than I do about me.
 
I cannot wait until this is over.