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I had to walk away last night in fact. My daughter made Pasta carbonara, one of my favourite things in the world. I smelled the bacon cooking and the cilantro being chopped and I had to leave the room. I went in my room and read. It was SO HARD to walk away from that. I wanted it but I just kept telling myself I'm past that for now. I'm better than that now. I'm going to be healthy now. AND I'll be able to have a few bites someday, just not TOday. Renee`

Dr. Campos IS a wonderful doctor and I even hugged him when I left because he genuinely cared about me when I did the header out of the bed and ripped my ear. Dr. Aceves IS a wonderful surgeon and I have had no complications. I specifically TOLD their coordinator about my conditions and the medications that I was on and she assured me this would never be a problem. It was. It was a huge problem and when things went bad there was no one there that spoke english. Sarah can attest to this as well because she was up wandering around at night and walking. I understand that people have different reactions to different things, but to suggest that I didn't do my research is assinine. I did just as much if not MORE because of my fibro and cfs. IF I had been told that Dr. Aceves doesn't even believe in fibro, mexicali would not have been in my list of choices because my biggest fear was going into a flare after the trauma of surgery. Disney, I like you and always have but I have an issue with you basically calling Lynn a liar. Saying that you KNOW what they use and she does not isn't a fair statement. My son was in the room in tears because he thought I was dead as I was lying on the floor bleeding. The doctor specifically told Lynn AND my son that they don't use narcotics there like we do in the states. Period. Never once was I disrespecting Dr. Aceves or Dr. Campos, I was telling everyone what happened to me personally. I agonized over this because I knew there would be those that jumped all over me for it. Fine. Jump away. To be honest, everything said here has been sugar coated to the extreme so that we WERE respectful but the truth was uglier. Take that how you will. I could care less at this point. I'm concentrating on healing and getting well and getting past this bs. Blame me because I'm dependent on narcotics. Blame me because I have fibro and cfs, like I said I could care less right now. IMO the doctors SHOULD HAVE BEEN INFORMED and either were not, OR they chose to ignore it. Either way it's unacceptable during a major surgery. There is no need to jump to Dr. Aceves defense because I'm not attacking anyone. I'm stating what happened to ME. This totally reminds me of a rape victim being told her f-ing skirt was too short. I'm really upset about this. I don't know if I fell through the cracks there, I don't KNOW what happened but I didn't get the care I needed and paid for. Sarah DID. She had a wonderful experience and I'm so happy and I was WAY glad she was there because she came in to tie my hair back for me as I was heaving. I was by no means the only one there in a lot of pain with uncontrolled nausea, in fact, Sarah was the only one that didn't have pain and nausea out of all of us. Renee`

I'll absolutely say a prayer for you Ricky and I know that you'll do just fine! XOXO Renee`

Thanks Dee, I am feeling much better day by day...everyone was right about that. My "big" incision hurts like the devil but I expected that after all I'd read on here. I get tired easily and it feels like I'm sleeping around the clock and only waking up to drink, potty, talk for a bit and then zonk back out again. I'm very weak but again, this is pretty normal after a major surgery. All in all I think after passing the initial hump(s) I'm pretty much right on schedule. About the lack of narcotics use in Mexicali...I only know what I was told so I advise everyone, EVERYONE to ask YOUR doctor what kind of pain meds will be administered after surgery. Maybe I'm a wimp but what I got wasn't nearly strong enough for me. Again, not trying to start a pissing contest of "my birth pains were stronger and harder than yours were!" type thing lol, this was only my experience and maybe I am a total wimp. I deal with horrible pain daily so maybe that little bit extra broke me somewhere inside and I couldn't take any more. I wasn't able to suck it up and take the pain and needed something more, which I was promised I would have. I was lied to about a few things and I'm having a harder time being deceived by someone that I really really liked and trusted. I am not going to mention any names because I want to absolutely clarify it straight up with the person that lied. I felt really good and excited about my decision to go to Mexicali because I didn't want to have any fears about coming home and having problems later. I understand there can ALWAYS be complications, but I wanted to lower my chances as much as possible and I sincerely feel like I researched to the best of my abilities and made my decision. The fact is, I *did* ask all the right questions and was given reassurances that none of this would be an issue and would be taken care of. This was not the case for me. Maybe I'm one of many that fell through the cracks (no bad jokes here about falling outta my bed! ). Either way, my intent here is not to slam any doctor, only to give advise to anyone having surgery done. Hope this helps someone else and thank you ALL for not judging me or bashing me. I was very afraid to tell the truth, believe me, I agonized over it. I didn't want everyone to hate me, stupid, I know...but true. XOXO Renee`

Thanks EJ! You can ask Lynn or Sarah though, I didn't handle it very well at all. I was in a total panic attack because I couldn't fight my way through the pain to TELL someone that I was in pain. You will probably have a button to push that gives you the good stuff, so don't worry, you'll be fine! I get very emotional with anesthesia and Lynn knew this going in, so she thought I was just very very emotional from that, but it was more than that she just didn't know it at the time. I'm anything but brave, trust me, I was scared and bitchy and horrid for a couple weeks before surgery Good luck and if you need to talk, pm me anytime! xoxo Renee`

Actually Sarah, I adore Dr. Campos and I wonder if he will ever branch out on his own. He truly does care about his patients and came speeding to the hospital when Lynn insisted the nurse call him. Dr. Aceves does not believe in Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I feel this is important to tell because this is one area where they are a bit behind the times. There are still doctors in America that feel the same way, but for the vast majority they are learning from the new research and information coming in and recognizing that it IS REAL. Dr. Aceves came to my room to have a talk with me about my fibro and let me know at that time, this was after the surgery, that he doesn't believe in it and that it's all in ones head "If you don't wake up with some pain, you are not alive" were his words. He is a wonderful surgeon, please don't get me wrong, but these words weighed heavily on my shoulders. XOXO Renee`

You didn't say how many calories or carbs you're taking in, but I would do what you did and add Protein, up my calories a bit and cut the carbs back. Anything to jolt the body out of that stall. Also, keep drinking the Water, it helps flush you out and keeps you hydrated. I agree though, there are things happening inside the body and maybe you're losing inches and not pounds. Good luck! Renee`

Dee I applaud you for your bravery and high pain tolerance. For me it wasn't enough and it was excruciating. The pain was the worst, but going through withdrawls on top of it was no picnic! lol I'm absolutely not trying to sound like one of those women "my childbirth was harder than yours!" for the record, LOL this was just my experience XOXO Renee`

Nancy, YES! Make sure they know how medications react with you. INSIST on a one on one meeting about the medications you're on now and demand to know how your pain will be dealt with once you wake up. What medications do they use to control pain, etc. Seriously, it matters a great deal. I was by no means the only one in pain and vomiting during the night. Also, I was so out of it from the anesthesia that I couldn't communicate how much pain I was in. I also noticed when I got home that my paperwork said I weighed in at 250 when I got there. This isn't true. I was 287 on that day and I think 281 2 days later. How much more pain meds would I have received had they gotten my weight right? I don't know, I just know this is something I wish I'd known the truth about. When Lynn told Dr. Aceves "I thought Renee was going to have an epidural?" he looked at her like she was bonkers and said he doesn't know why she thought that because it's not something he routinely does. Well, she thought that because this is what we were told lol At any rate, ask those questions! Hope this helps you XOXO Renee`

You are amazing! I'm so happy for you and can't wait to be in your shoes. I hope your feet feel good enough to do a happy dance celebration this morning, you totally deserve it! xoxo Renee`

lmao @ Jewish mother! My kids tell me all the time I sound like one as well "did'ju wash yo hands? Take yo mittens with you so ya hands don't get cold!" (this was when we lived in Nebraska). For some reason they throw in a Jersey accent on top of it all. For the record, I DO say "OY!" a lot, but I'm swedish so I have no excuse lol I'm hoping you're resting comfortably today and happy to put all the fears behind you and can look forward to the new you. XOXO Renee`

On a lighter note, I was dubbed the "crash test dummy" LOL I crash tested the sleeve and even after a header off the bed the staple line held! WOOT! Renee`

My Dr told me to take the chewable or liquid form of dramamine to get past that nauseated feeling. It's worked remarkably well even though it's for "motion sickness". Also only a teaspoon of propel or gatorade g2 every 15 minutes to see how my tummy responds to it. He's not stressing about the Protein yet at all. hope this helps Renee`

Sarah, Dr. Aceves says to wait 3 months before swallowing whole pills. In the same email, it says that most patients are fine at 1 month out so the 3 month thing is a safety net so that people don't have problems. I'm crushing everything and ICK! nasty nasty! XOXO Renee`

I actually talked to my Dr. today, I think I'm like almost 5 days out now (I've lost count, it's a blur). I'm having a hard time with nausea and diarrhea. He told me to get the Propel Water or gatoraid G2 and take a couple of teaspoons full every 15 minutes. This will get you used to the amount to "sip". Proteins can be very hard on the tummy so I wouldn't worry too much about that right now, worry more about dehydration and get those fluids in. hope this helps Renee`

I did go home that day Sarah. I wanted to state here that Sarah was the mommy in our ward. She heard me dry heaving and she came toddling in with her I.V. pole trailing behind her, lifted my head and put my hair up in a ponytail for me. Now THAT is a friend for life type person! She is so caring and kind I just love her. Meggie, I did cut my ear when I fell out of the bed and they used butterfly bandages on it and said it would re-attach to my face. Just a small cut / tear near the lobe and my cheek. I don't remember this happening but I know it scared the begeezus out of Lynn and Logan. Logan was sobbing and calling his dad here in Vegas because he said I looked dead and wasn't responding to anything and the way I fell was a full on faceplant out of the bed. I'd been sitting up when they administered the pain meds and this may have, in retrospect, been a mistake lol No worries, my ears have never been on of my vanity points anyways xoxo Renee` p.s. Lynn will be posting her take on the experience. We've talked about it and I said from the very beginning I would be totally honest about everything, even the ugly side.

Hi everyone...thanks for all the well wishes and prayers. I went into this knowing it could get rough and boy did it. I have an extremely high tolerance to narcotics and they couldn't get me to a comfortable state. No one thought about the fact that I've been on stronger pain meds for over 2 years than what they give you there for pain. It was one of the most painful, horrible experiences I've ever had. This is NOT to scare anyone, this was my experience and due to an extremely high tolerance. Dr. Campos told us in his 8 years of practice he'd only seen one other person that had my tolerance for narcotics. The hotel, the hospital, everything is beautiful and clean and wonderful. The people are amazing but we did have a hard time understanding a few. So tired...thanks so much to all of you XOXO Renee`

We can do this Amy!

I'm in Mexicali with Sarsar. Her surgery is tomorrow so please send out lots of good thoughts and prayers! She had dinner tonight with Lynn and my son, I slept through it...dangit! She is an absolute sweetheart, she even brought me a gift bag that made me smile. I'm so glad I'm here with her and we can do laps around the nurses station together lol Renee`

Most importantly, don't let fear paralyze you. Fear is natural. I had a total anxiety filled breakdown last night. Tonight I'm in Mexicali with my lab work done a day ahead of schedule. Tomorrow is my "eat anything you want!" day and total relaxation, maybe by the beautiful pool that I can look out my window and see!. Then Wednesday, surgery and the first day of the rest of my life...a longer, healthier life. I'm scared, yes, but I'm determined. Suzanne wasn't lying when she described it here. It's beautiful, it's clean, the people here are so gracious and kind and wonderful and I want to take them home with me when I leave. I had a few tears when I got my labs done, but I have a horrible phobia of needles. The girl that does them (Lucy was her name I think and she's a pretty little thing so if you're a guy you can maybe distract yourself lol) was soooooo gentle and fast about it. Also, not a huge glob of cotton on my hand where I had her take it out, just a little dot bandaid. There is a really pretty "wall water fountain" as you walk into the hotel and let me tell you, it's beautiful and serene and so clean you could walk around barefoot. Ok don't do that though because it's a really NICE hotel and that might be considered a little uncouth lol I'm relaxed after my bubble bath and book. The tub is large and is SO comfy for someone like me that loves to lay back and read / sleep in the tub. There is a wonderful cool breeze making the palm trees outside sway and I can hear the leaves rustle. I called my husband and told him all about it here and he was so happy! He, like a lot of Americans had heard horror stories of surgeries gone bad in Mexico. He also worried about our safety. To be honest it's a lot more dangerous where I live, in Vegas than it is here. I told my son and Lynn "This is picture perfect! I never want to leave!" and they're feeling the same way right now. To everyone that recommended Dr. Aceves, THANK YOU! I wasn't expecting the luxury at the hotel, but it is! Even the hospital is beautiful and clean. Renee`

I actually blogged about this just this morning because I'm like you, really really scared of when I wake up. No one except one that's been there knows what that first slam-you-on-the-ground flare is like. I was sick. Really sick. Vomiting, diarrhea, dizzy, in horrible pain that felt like someone poured acid in my body. So many things that just didn't make sense at all! No one knew what it was and it was terrifying to think to myself, and even tell the Doctors "you fools are going to let me die and a MEDICAL EXAMINER is going to diagnose me!" I cried so much that my kids started jokingly calling me "moaning myrtle" from harry potter. This went on for an agonizing 8 months and no one knew that I was suicidal. I'd made up my mind that if the next dr (I was sitting outside his office) didn't diagnose me, I was doing it on the way home. So yeah, I understand the emotional and physical sides of this. At my last rheumatologist appointment she said "Renee I'm sorry, we're out of options. We've done it all and this is as good as it's going to get" and to me, it just wasn't enough. It's not acceptable to me. SO...I made up my mind that even if it only made it easier to crawl to the bathroom on the bad days, I had to try. Some have the surgery for weight loss but to me it's secondary to maybe getting a part of me back. Even if I only get down to 150, if I'm a healthy 150 I couldn't care less! Mkay this was when I was a bit braver cause I was about a month away from surgery. Now, like you, I'm a few DAYS away from surgery and I'm not feeling so brave at all! LOL Will it be better in the long run? ABSOLUTELY! Will it suck more than most sleeves? PROBABLY! It's hard to tell someone to just do it and don't look back. Fibro hit me all over. Every muscle group but especially my sides and chest. Major muscle groups feel like someone poured acid into them. It burns horribly until I'm writhing and crying and incoherent with pain and nothing touches it. My sides? UGH! Those are more of a "charlie horse" / muscle spasm type pain. What's the first instinct? To throw yourself around like someone having a seizure, anything to stop that muscle from cramping and stretch it out. Try as I might, nothing helps. Those are the muscles that will be cut through during surgery and those are my most agonizing when they spasm. It takes my breath. Can I do this? yep. Will I do this? Yep. Because like I said before, THIS me is unacceptable and so I have to try. XOXO Renee`

Glad I'm not having surgery coming up real soon or anything.... Not like I wasn't scared before, but thanks ladies! LOL Did anyone NOT have any freakin gas pain?!

I personally would have my doubts that he is "world renowned". According tho whom? Also, I looked him up and I'm not sure I would use him, especially if he makes you sign something saying you will never sue him. http://www.yelp.com/biz/dr-paul-t-cirangle-san-francisco

Up the Protein and fats if you're craving things and lower the carbs. Also make sure you're getting all your Water in. I hate the idea of Protein shakes being filled with carbs, sugars and calories and won't drink them. I'm using New whey. 42 grams of protein, 0 sugars / carbs and 3.5 oz. Tastes like crap, I'm not going to lie to you but at least I can get it down fast and know I'm getting protein in. I'm upping my protein now before surgery to speed the healing / weight loss part. The faster I get the weight off, the faster I'll feel better. Renee`

I'm so excited I feel like I'm going to explode! LOL Ok, excited, scared, et al. Same things I was feeling X a million. This is normal and I'm prepared for it but dang, I'm scared! I have total faith in my surgeon but lack of faith in myself healing properly. I think it's a fibro / cfs thing because I've been worried about this since the day I decided to do it. Not scared of the surgery, scared of the waking up part. I guess I'll never know until I go through it so chin up and FORWARD! Good luck to you Erika, I know we're in the very best hands! XOXO Renee`