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yea I had buyer's remorse the first couple of weeks - but that ended quickly. I had my 10 years ago and it was the best decision I've ever made.

Oh man, this is tough! I'd love to hear what others think, since if I was great at this, I wouldn't be in the same boat! That said, I will throw some ideas your way. 😁 Fundamentally, what we're talking about here is NOT forcing someone else to change, since that's impossible. Instead, what we have to do is help them realize that THEY need to make a change. I think there are a couple of models that would be useful to understand. This first is called the "Health Belief Model". This states that it's underlying beliefs and emotions about health behaviours and health risks that influence a decision to make a change. Beliefs about health risks are further influenced by the individual's perceived susceptibility and their understanding of the potential seriousness of the risk. For example, if you believe you are at high risk of a heart attack or stroke and you believe these are potentially life-threatening events, then you are much more likely to think that you need to make a change. The other key factor is your beliefs about health behaviors. Let's say you want to do something about your heart attack risk. You'll evaluate various health behaviors and will consciously or subconsciously grade them based on your own beliefs about the potential benefits of a specific behavior, as well as your beliefs about any barriers you foresee. An example might be acknowledging that a better diet would help, all the while highlighting all the reasons you can't change your diet or why it's too late for you to change. The takeaway for any of us trying to influence loved ones to change is that we can't actually force the change. What we can do is help them see the risks and benefits of changing, all the while also helping eliminate any barriers they see. The second model that I think is worth thinking about is called the "Transtheoretical Model of Behavior Change" (often abbreviated TTM). Some of you may have also heard of this one called the "Stages of Change Model". The basic idea is that there are several major stages we go through in changing behaviors. In order: Precontemplation. At this stage, the person is either unaware, or under-aware of the problem (or believe it can't be solved). If the person is at this stage, about the best you can do is help them see the need to make changes. IMO, this works best if it's subtle. Maybe it's talking about the coworker that just had a heart attack. Maybe it's pointing out a news article you found interesting about a health topic. Maybe it's just modeling healthy behaviors so they have a reference point. Again, keep in mind that you can't force the change and telling them they need to change won't work either. It has to be their idea. You can only help them see the need to change and help them clear barriers. Contemplation. If they are at this stage, the battle is almost won. Here they are aware of the problem and are thinking through the pros and cons of various changes. At this point, they really don't know what to do to address the issue yet, so they may be ready to seek out expert advice or support. One of the best things I personally think you can do at this stage is help them find this additional support. Keep in mind that even if you are an expert in diet, exercise, or whatever, help and opinions from an outsider are often valued much higher. Preparation. This stage is when they actively start trying to make plans to change, but have not actually made any changes yet. My best advice here is to make sure they start small because a lot of people try to overhaul everything at once and it's just too much. Slow, sustainable changes are always going to work best. Action. Here they've actually started to make changes. It's really easy for them to get derailed here, so they're going to need your support to stick with it. Maintenance. At this point, the changes have become habit and are much more likely to become permanent. What they need from you at this point is encouragement. Relapse. This isn't inevitable, but preparing for it is worthwhile. (And see, this even comes back to the original topic! ) Obviously if this does happen, being there to help them work through restarting is imperative. Even if they don't relapse, it can be useful to do some thinking ahead of time about what sort of things might derail their new health behavior and then making plans ahead of time to keep it from happening. For example, holidays, travel, or being sick or injured are common examples of things that can cause relapse even in someone that's been successful for a while. Happy to explore more specific ideas, but this post feels overly long already! Best of luck!

I realized I never shared my "Jambalaya Soup". Yes I realize jambalaya isn't actually soup, but it had a lot of the same ingredients, including cajun spices, so I took a little liberty here. If you're Cajun or Creole, please don't come at me!

I curious where the idea came from for this? Also, just from a scientific perspective, it seems odd to me to make so many changes all at once since it will be impossible to determine if only some of these changes are actually making any difference, or if some of these may be detrimental, while others are beneficial. For example, we know pretty conclusively that increased sleep is hugely beneficial to weight loss and better health overall. I think at the end of your experiment you won't be able to tell what changes you might want to make more permanently vs. which changes didn't help and can be safely ignored. Just my thought so far. Regardless, I hope it helps you.

Chicken marsala, roasted potatoes & sauteed Brussels sprouts with onion & bacon:

Maple garlic glazed salmon, mixed vegetables and mashed potatoes

I appreciate your post, its an opportunity to understand human nature and the constant struggles we have fighting the basic life requirement to eat. That being said, I would like to ask fellow forum members the following questions if they too have had/have their other half going down the same paths... seeing your wife having weight/health issues and what others do/say/handle that situation. My husband eats like a 12 year old boy. He knows it, he told his doctor the same thing (his doctor laughed and said he eats the same way). His BMI (I know its not a great metric but its the easiest and most ppl understand it) is 29.98. I've explained obese is 30.00. He says he gets "plenty of exercise" because he walks 12 miles a day, which he does (mail carrier). I say that's moving NOT exercise since its nothing more than a long stroll, not getting his heart rate up. So, my question like what Spartan says how do you help someone see the light? Yes, I realize its like everything else each person has to come to the realization on their own, but how can we help the process along, after all time doesn't stand still and no one is getting younger. I try to get him to eat the meals I prepare, but its not what he "likes": cereals, processed foods i.e. hot dogs, fast food, candy and soda. He has tried dieting, it lasts less than a day or he only "eats a half bowl of sugary cereal until I point out that a serving is 1/4 cup and his half a bowl is 4 servings...etc. What have you tried, done said etc., on your journey to bring your other half kicking and screaming into a healthier lifestyle that worked? I don't want anger or alienate my husband, but do you just stand back and continue to let someone you love keep pulling the trigger?

Here we go, currently 35 F. Since I was 21 I have seen an endocrinologist for what seemed like an unknown hormone disorder. They didn't diagnosis with anything but monitored me for years. I had severe cystic acne, Hidrianitus suppurativa hirsutism and I struggled with my weight (always). My weight was not that much of a problem at the time (I was 160, 5'7) but I felt like I was heavier than I should be for what I ate. I was not diagnosed with PCOS because I had regular periods and normal test results. But the doctor told me he wanted to continue to see me. Years later in 2022 my weight skyrocketed to 230 pounds in about a 18 month period. It was shocking, never have I been that heavy. It was awful. I didn't change me diet. The sent me to a nutritionist but I didn't lose weight. It was like weight-loss was impossible. The endocrinologist has no answers and I got a second opinion. Again no answers. Then in 2024 I was the same weight but my asthma was becoming incredibly severe. My lung function was down to 70 present and I was frequently hospitalized last year. They told me my weight was worsening my asthma. I told them I couldn't lose weight. I got desperate and from June to November I ate 400 calories a day and only drank water. I lost 30 pounds. I had no choice but to do this. It was crazy, it was dangerous and I passed out twice but I had no choice. I was dying anyway. By December I started upping my calories to 700 and by January I was eating 1200 calories. My lung function improved to 86 percent and my asthma was suddenly improving based on test results. The troubling thing recently is in the last two months I've regained 11 pounds. I'm only eating what my nutritionist recommends. I'm now at the point of wondering if Gastric Bypass is for me. I clearly can not lose weight easily on my own, worsening obesity makes me sicker. The weigh comes back far too quickly. Would this be the right decision for me?

I differ from what SpartanMaker says, I wouldn't try any more of the options that are out there. Obviously you first need to recognize that obesity is a disease and it never goes away. You tried to starve yourself to death and the body will automatically save every morsel you put into your body and store it as fat, especially on a 300 calorie diet. Increasing the calories is not necessarily the fix either, you need to look at the foods you are eating. Is it protein heavy or are you still eating salads, which are carbs by the way? Are you thinking that a baked potato is a veggie, it is not it is a carbohydrate, then add all the stuff you put on the potato. Diet wise, you may be choosing the wrong foods. And certainly the amount. You passed out probably because your glucose levels went into the basement with such a low calorie intake. I agree with SpartanMaker, and seek out a Bariatric center that has a whole host of options. Surgery is a tool that the obese person uses and it is a life long commitment to make lifestyle changes. You may need to see a therapist and nutrition expert both to help you, and maybe they have other options other than going straight to surgery, but for certain I feel you need better education on what is an appropriate "diet", and not all "diets" are really diets but ways to spend more money that is just wasted. You obviously have the willpower and stamina to take hold of a new life, it won't hurt to inquire. I would also urge you to watch some of the YouTube videos from BariNation, they have Podcasts with bariatric physicians and other healthcare providers every week and most recently there was discussion about Obesity being a disease and using something other than weight or BMI (Body Mass Index) to determine if someone is obese. My plan has always been to go the cautious or conservative route first. In my case I jumped right in and happy for it. I had an excellent surgeon and team that all worked together to ensure I had a good experience and did. Never had any pain with my surgery, and have had good results so far and today is Post op week 3, day 1. I wish you the best in your journey to seek out further information and a good bariatric group!!

At the end of the day, no one here can tell you if it's right for you. Keep in mind that obesity is a disease and it definitely needs a treatment plan, just like your other conditions. The right treatment for any given person varies based on a lot of factors, so don't automatically decide yourself what the right treatment should be. The best thing for you to do is seek out a GOOD bariatric center that has lots of options available to you and not just surgery. Personally, my gut tells me that it's too soon to go this route since obesity is such a recent issue for you. I'm not a doctor, and certainly not a bariatric surgeon, but just thinking through how recent this obesity disease is for you, I personally would want to try some more conservative treatments first?