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Feelings need to be felt and they are never wrong. Feelings just exist to tell us something. This is telling you that you might need some reassurance from your husband. I think rather than dwelling on the specific incident, think about what you want and need from him. Ask for it. Kasia Urbaniak is an incredible teacher on asking for what you want. on another note, I absolutely dread comments about my weight even if they're “compliments.” I am especially Apprehensive on what message my kids will get on weight and the value of certain bodies. I’m not sure what the answer is.

Ok back to OP, I just want to reiterate that you cannot control your feelings, and that whatever you feel is totally okay. You don’t need me or anyone else on this board to validate your experience. It’s yours. You have the agency to decide how to respond. Based on my experience, i try to address the underlying issue from a place of “me and you vs. the problem” or “me vs. you” Again, I highly recommend Kasia Urbaniak. Her work is life changing and she offers online classes. Plus it’s fun!! She just published a book. She teaches “power” but it’s not power over someone, it’s transformational magical collaborative power!

It has been 7 months, and 2 days since my WLS. I finally hit my GOAL when weighing in this morning. I have never been this small in my adult life. It is such a great feeling, knowing that everything I worked for up to this point has been worth it. My ONLY regret is that I didn't do this 10 years ago. I have lost 81 lbs., went from a size 20 jeans, now in a size 6, (I posted a few days ago that I was a size 8, but my new jeans were actually too big, and I had to get a size 6). I am sooooooo happy!!! 😄😄😄😄😄

I'm on soft food stage and did salmon tonight for dinner with cooked carrot. I hadn't eaten all day & I just wasn't thinking and I ate too much, as I ate so quickly. I have Stomach pains, I've heaved, but only saliva comes out. It's so freaking painful! Will NEVER do this again. Terrible feeling

AfterbThe 1st surgery, the doctor concluded that I had blockage inside my small intestine so they had to open my stomach to clear it. They had to insert 2 tubes and over 30 staples. After 1 week and 2 days of misery in the ICU and normal room I'm out of the hospital. Currently on stage 2, full liquid diet and lost 26LBS since the beginning of my surgery (March 16th). I get the staples taken out on the 7th and the last tube gets taken out early next month. So, this has not at all been an easy journey for me. I've been very weak and I feel dehydrated even tho I drink clear liquid alot! I'm going to my 2nd infusion Monday to help with my dehydration. If I could say I regret the surgery, I would say absolutely. How ever I've been very over weight and no matter the diet I couldn't loose anything, especially having the medical problems I suffer with. I wish you all good luck, I know I need it. Keep your head up and know there are and will always be someone there for you. God bless. °Engaged° Daddy of 1°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Hope things get better for you

So I bought the barimelts dissolvable tablets and omg that awful after taste is so bad! I just can’t take them anymore. I just ordered regular capsules.

Well I hven't even hit 1 month surgery date but everytime I look in the mirror I am still fat! It will be several months before I get to where I can see I am losing weight. I have lost over 36 lbs and that was like taking a cup of water out of the Gulf of Mexico. I cant tell I have lost a pound.

My dad always told me that when you cant stop dwelling on what people say about you, you are letting them live rent free in your head. Well...there was a comment made on Sunday that I cant seem to evict! My husband and I were visiting my inlaws in another state. We attended the church where my FIL is a preacher. We always attend church with them when we visit. Last visit we made was 2 weeks post op, so I had not lost really anything at that point. This was the first time the people at the church have seen me since my extreme weight loss. A lot of people made comments about how great I looked, and that didnt bother me at all. However, two ladies came up to my husband and I, told me I looked so good, then they turned to my husband and said, "looks like you really made out on that deal!" My husband laughed and said, "Yeah my investment really paid off!" For background, we got married two months before my surgery. I tried to laugh it off in the moment, but I really had to bite back tears. I have never felt that my husband looked at me any differently at 284 or 140. He himself has said that he only saw me, never my weight. He says he loves me regardless. Both comments, from the lady AND my husband's reply has been on repeat in my head all week. Who finds that comment appropriate to say to anyone?? I was a catch at my HW and I am no more or less of a catch at my CW. He didnt marry me hoping I would lose weight and look better physically, at least I would certainly HOPE not, seeing as he is overweight himself. It was inappropriate and hurtful. Normally, I would address my husbands comment with him in private. However, our marriage has been rough (to say the least) lately and I didnt want to start an argument. I know he will tell me that it was a joke, I am being too sensitive and overthinking it. Which...maybe I am but that doesnt make the comments hurt less. I dont know...I guess i just needed to vent to people that would understand!

I would LOVE to be able to express my feelings and it just be a conversation. Unfortunately, based on experience he doesnt like any time I disagree with his actions and he will make it in to an argument.