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I have a few questions for you to pose to yourself, from a viewpoint of support for you as a fellow member of this community that you are lovingly accepted into. Do you think his behavior is respectful, loving, uplifting towards you? You do know that you aren't his property and don't need his "consent" to prioritize yourself or your health? Does he have a fetish for bigger women and is your losing weight a turnoff for him (physically and mentally)? Is he genuinely a friend who sincerely supports you with other endeavors in your life, without needing to personally gain/benefit from you/it? Does he encourage you to build your confidence and self esteem daily? Does he encourage your individuality? Does he support you having healthy outside relationships with your family, colleagues and etc.? Do you feel comfortable discussing your individual dreams, goals, achievements and vision for your life/future independent of his benefit? Do you feel uplifted after talking to him and like he's a positive light in your life? These are a few things to ask yourself and be honest with yourself about how you are truly feeling. 5 years in a relationship doesn't mean that you are being loved, supported and respected by your mate. I know that we don't know the entire history of your relationship, but he sounds cruel and controlling. His punishment that he's imposing upon you and his request to not be contacted until you can explain yourself to him what he will benefit from you is not the behavior exhibited by a person who cares for someone. He sounds insecure, manipulative and insensitive to your need to get your health on track. He's right there in the dictionary under narcissist!!! His attitude towards you and yes your mother too is disrespectful and you are worthy of being respected, loved and supported. You should be celebrated by your partner for your accomplished weight loss thus far and please don't dream of sabotaging your success and trying to stop your journey. We will cheerlead, shout to the mountain tops and yell praises for you to win!! You are worthy, beautiful and deserving of whatever your heart desires. I wrote this with the intention of being a supporter of your journey and not to preach or judge. This is the judgment free zone, I just don't like bullies who rain on other people's happiness and blessings.

You wanna lose 150-200 pounds instantly?? Kick him to the curb!!😉 I know that is a terse, non comforting comment, but your post makes it clear that this man doesn't have your best interests at heart and is in this relationship for his own benefit. I am glad you followed your own desires to improve your health by WLS. If you want long term happiness you may have to question y'all's relationship. Ask yourself "will I be better in five years with him or without him?" and then follow your heart. Good luck, we are here for you!

what is HE going to gain from you losing weight?? This isn't about him, for God's sake!! I agree with the above commenter. You can lose 150-200 lbs right away by kicking that jerk to the curb!

I get tickled every time I read your posts. But I get the message! Thanks![emoji3059] It's MY time!

The dramatic changes in our daily lives caused by the COVID-19 virus is likely the greatest crisis of our lifetime. Hopefully, you and your family are safe at home and can avoid harm. It would be easy to focus on all of the negativity and be glued to the news 24/7 but that would be a mistake. As someone working to lose weight or maintain your weight loss, this crisis presents a number of challenges but also several opportunities. First the challenges: Many of us are either working from home or are not working, but still at home. Being home presents a bunch of food and eating challenges. You may be more sedentary than usual, without your commute to work, and possibly unable to be out and about or go to the gym. Being home means that the refrigerator and the kitchen are only a few feet away. Your schedule is probably different. Without a regular schedule, unplanned eating and more frequent trips to the kitchen may occur. For those unaccustomed to working from home, it may be harder to focus on your work, and possibly wandering around the house and once again, back in the kitchen. The emotional toll this situation is taking on all of us is significant. If you have a tendency to eat in response to anxiety or loneliness, this can be a very difficult time. The challenges are clear. What about the opportunities? Before this crisis, many people were so busy with their jobs that they did not have time to make better food choices. Too much fast food. Too much take out. Too many dinners at 10 pm. Now there may be more time to buy and prepare healthy food and eat at a healthier time. Many restaurants are closed so you need to go to the supermarket where more fresh foods and healthier choices are available. Learn to cook! If you have more time, you can break out some of those cookbooks you’ve been meaning to read or find simple recipes online to try. While you’re in the supermarket, this could be a good time to experiment with new foods. Some of your favorites may be out of stock. This is a good time to explore different and potentially healthier alternatives to your old, less healthy favorites. While you are home, you may have more time to exercise. If you are restricted from going to the gym, you can still go out for a walk or a bike ride. Even if you walk with one or two friends, it is possible to practice safe social distancing while exercising. Learning to change your emotional relationship with food. It’s certainly tempting to make trips into the kitchen to manage your anxiety and other emotions, but this is a great time to learn and practice alternatives to emotional eating. Here are some ideas to try to implement in the coming weeks: Try to create and maintain a schedule including setting aside times for meals and snacks. If you already have an eating routine that was working, try to maintain it. If you don’t yet have a routine, examine your upcoming schedule and create one. If you are not used to working from home, it is important to structure your day to avoid working in an erratic “when I’m in the mood” manner. The latter is not very productive and will also lead you to wander around the house more often...and we know what room you’re likely to wind up visiting. If you are able to get out to the supermarket, buy healthy and smart! Make a commitment to using this time for positive change. If you continue to buy chips and cookies, this is going to cause weight gain. However, if you make healthier food choices in the supermarket, you can use this period at home to your advantage. If you’ve been looking for an opportunity to help your family start eating healthier, this is a perfect opportunity! Many restaurants are closed, so if you stock the house with healthy choices, you’re more likely to stick to your plan. It’s probably not advisable to go to the supermarket every day as we try to keep our social distance, so try to make a list and do a weekly shopping. Think about meal prepping. What could you buy for a few breakfasts, lunches, and dinners? Make the healthiest choices you can. Experiment in the supermarket. Some of your old favorites might be unavailable. Even if they are there, check out other alternatives. Have you ever wondered if riced cauliflower was a good alternative to white rice? Now’s the time to give it a try. What about that all-natural, lower sodium and low-sugar spaghetti sauce? Maybe bring home a jar or two. We are all wired to buy what we’ve always bought. They’re probably the same items you grew up with in your parents’ home, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Use this opportunity to experiment with healthier and maybe even tastier choices. Get outside and walk or bike a few times per week if possible. Many gyms are closing down so if you have a home gym you have an advantage. However, even without a home gym there’s always the great outdoors. Walking and biking are excellent forms of exercise. It’s more important to try to build a habit of getting out there a few times per week than it is to walk a specific number of steps or burn a specific number of calories. In fact, it is possible that you make this a habit that endures long after this crisis ends. Learn to manage your emotions in ways that don’t involve going to the kitchen. It is completely understandable that you are feeling more anxious these days, but neither the current situation nor your anxiety is going to be helped by eating. Instead, use this time to learn mindfulness skills to manage your anxiety. These skills actually help reduce anxiety and don’t contribute to weight gain. Research demonstrates that learning mindfulness skills helps reduce compulsive eating. There are a number of great apps available like headspace or calm where you can get started. Similarly, if you did a quick search for “mindfulness techniques,” the internet has 100’s of free modules available. Just experiment until you find a few that work for you. Limit the amount of time you watch television and spend watching the news on your computer and phone. You know the news isn’t great, and more importantly, it can be emotionally harmful. The purpose of the news is to provide information, but many people watch news programs as a form of entertainment. However, today’s news is not at all entertaining, it’s quite upsetting. Worst of all, some news programs focus on how things can get worse. While you may need an update or two per day, you don’t need to watch any more than that. It’s very likely to upset you and may trigger emotional eating. Even if you don’t have a tendency to eat in response to anxiety and emotional upset, who wants to experience emotional upset more than necessary?! Instead, use this time to be closer to loved ones within your home or via facetime, teleconferencing or the good old telephone. If you are among loved ones or can use facetime or video conferencing to be with them “virtually,” break out those board games, color in a coloring book, create art projects or do other things that put a more positive spin on what is certainly a challenging time. To be sure, there is nothing good about this crisis and how it is affecting our daily lives. However, it is possible to take advantage of the opportunity that being at home provides. If you make some changes in your behavior, you can use this time to stay on track with your weight loss or weight maintenance goals, and maybe even develop some new healthy habits that provide benefits that last long after this crisis is over. May you all be safe and well during this difficult time. Warren L. Huberman, PhD. Is a Clinical Psychologist licensed in New York and New Jersey. • Clinical Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine. • Affiliate Psychologist at the Langone/NYU Medical Center • Consulting Psychologist to the NYU/Langone Health Weight Management Program • Affiliate Psychologist in the Department of Psychiatry at Northwell-Lenox Hill Hospital. • Maintains a private practice in Clinical Psychology in Manhattan and Rockland County, NY. Author of the book 'Through Thick and Thin: The Emotional Journey of Weight Loss Surgery.' Dr. Huberman can be reached at 212- 983-6225 or at wh@warrenhuberman.com.

It took a few weeks, but I can "drink" fairly normally now. I can't full on chug water, but I can take fairly normal mouthfuls without any discomfort now. The farther along you get with your recovery, the more you will be able to do things comfortably. ❤️ Hang in there.

What does your nutritionist/surgeon want you to have? Your carbs are higher than most people's teams would suggest (so early on- I can eat around that much almost 3 yrs out to maintain my weight/indulge) so that may not work for you right now. But the bottom line is sometimes the professionals recommendations along with trial & error will work better than anecdotal info from a peer. If you were tracking during the time you were consuming 800 vs 1200 cals check the trends in your weightloss. Then talk to your team. Try lower or Keto level macros for carbs, after consulting with your team of course, and see if there is any difference after about 2 weeks. Good Luck ❤

This week I've been experiencing the same thing as you and I was sleeved on 3/3/20. Hydration is a difficult task for me and I loved plain water prior to surgery, I don't know when this is going to be better. I'm trying really hard every day to meet my hydration goals and protein drinks are now upsetting my stomach. I'm back to tge clear protein Isopure and ugh!!! I'm in a stall, I'm really hungry for real textures of food and I have to work on this darn insomnia. I have faith that this is just a moment that will get better

Dont get discouraged, people will see it before you do, that happens Sent from my SM-G973U using BariatricPal mobile app

Don't give up, I was the same way! After that I started losing and haven't stopped! You got this!