This surgery requires a lot of focus and determination. I'm guessing that you have both if you have 5 children, most of which are teenagers. You are probably used to giving everything you have to their needs. But after surgery, you have to add yourself to the list of people. You have to make conscious effort to make good decisions everyday. This includes, shopping, meal planning, meal prepping, exercising. Unfortunately, you can't just eat less and miraculously loose weight. So my suggestion is to make sure you mentally prepare yourself that YOU MATTER and you will have to focus on yourself at times. If your husband has to take the brunt of it for the first few months, then so be it. It would be awesome to hire someone to help out, but not everyone can afford that. Just remember you are doing this for your family, as much as yourself. They will benefit from the new you. It's not selfish to take time for your health.