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Hilarious!!! As a formerly very-regular poo-er, I have to join in the commiseration regarding the Poo Monster. At one year out, I am regular again, I go every day, sometimes several times each day, but usually it's the jagged little marble things. But, like you, every now and then some smelly serpentine thing comes along. WTH??

It takes some getting used to but considering the chance of NEVER waking up because your heart gives out in the middle of an apnea....I will take the mask. I use what are called nasal pillows on my CPAP so I don't have that huge mask just a chin strap and a strap that goes over the top and back of my head. As for "drowning" most CPAPs have settings for how much moisture it uses and puts into the "air" it sends into your nose....when I got mine, my whole face and pillow got wet....I learned really fast how to turn the moisture down....I can even go several days without the water chamber....but eventually the inside of my noise gets sore so I have to use it at least once in a while. I have found I cannot even take a nap or doze off without it now because I am so used to it. So Belladona, you might want to reconsider.....you would not have it if you did not have sleep apnea and the chance of NOT waking up.......plus as the others said you never realize how much your sleep is interrupted until you actually sleep well due to your CPAP/BiPAP, and wake up feeling so much better and more rested. Good luck with your decision though. :-)

Dang, you're a power dumper!

funny! but I do relate!!

Just think.... maybe someday we can say good bye to our CPAP machines!!!

I have had 3 fills and total they are under 3cc. My doctor just does small ones. I have noticed people post they have large ones. I don't know what is right or wrong but maybe discuss this with your doctor. Good luck with whatever you and he choose.

so long to hear I am not alone is this!!! LOL! I gave birth to twins but that didn't hurt like trying to have a BM 2 weeks after being sleeved!!

OMG, that's funny!

You are hilarious! There were so many lines that I had to read out loud to my husband that I finally just gave up and had him read the whole thing! hahaha I think it's fantastic and I'm not usually one for "potty humor" but this had me rolling! hahaha Great job!!

I'm also 8 days out and have been trying different things too. Protein shakes have been hard to choke down so I started trying some soft foods (before my NUT's time) just to get my protein in and I've tolerated almost everything (except chicken as well). I have yet to have a full feeling, not sure I can actually feel my stomach. I don't do anything SF because it has the sugar alcohol in it and it does cause me stomach pains. I quick smoking, gave up my "occasional" glass of wine (or two), and can't eat...yes I'm really pleasant these days...hardly.