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It is a constant battle that you will face from time to time throughout your journey, I'm 22 months post-op and still can catch myself eating too fast. What I try to do is go back to what I learned which is take a bite of food and then put the utensil down and chew, chew, chew it works if you are consciously eating and not eating looking at tv. LOL just a thought! I'm not perfect at it either so you're not alone - I also eat and do at 1 or 2 crossword so I don't just continue to put food in my mouth I concentrate on something else while I chew. Foods that still make me gurgle are salsa (anything tomato based) beef and chicken - pork not so much which is odd and crabmeat I can eat like no ones business.

I can totally understand your frustration and the waiting period can be daunting as we are all excited to start our journey. Try to be patient. It will come. You have dealt with your weight probably for a long time... what's a few more days. You DO belong. You are welcome and knowledge is power so it is good that you are on here even if you are not quite "there" yet.

I agree support is the brain tool. At first I thought I was missing so darn much when now I look back and I am not missing a darn thing except trash I was putting in my body every day.

I went through similar journey of starting out planning on lap band a couple of years ago, changing my mind, trying diet and exercise again for a year (unsuccessfully) not wanting to do bypass (for same reasons you stated) then deciding on sleeve. I do not have all of your health concerns other than a very lumpy bumpy thyroid with very little function, but so far it does not have to be removed. I did have several scares with chest pain (one that scared me enough to go to the emergency room) that turned out to be nothing, but it was enough to remind me that I want to live to see my children graduate college, get married, have grandchildren, travel etc....but if I kept on my current course, I was surely decreasing my chances of making it that far. Then my friend, who had the RNY operation four years ago, ran the NY Marathon. She looked great, she felt great and now she had accomplished something as incredible as that! Where was I, I was at my highest weight ever, 272 lbs feeling fat, tired, uncomfortable, embarrassed and miserable. I decided enough was enough and I got started on the journey to have the sleeve. It took 8 months of meetings with NUT, getting all the required work done etc, required by my insurance company. I had many moments of second thoughts, especially when I had to go for tests and things I would have otherwise never done in a million years. When my surgery was finally set, I almost cancelled about 100 times, I was so scared. BUT I went through with it on June 4th and I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did! There were a few times in the hospital and during my first week home that I questioned what in the heck did I do to myself, but now I am getting used to the plan and I am down over 40 pounds since surgery and have never felt better! My point in telling you all of this is that it is human nature to cling to our old way of life because we are scared and it is what we know. It is really scary and hard to face the unknown of how things will be after surgery (and for me I had NEVER had surgery of any kind, so I was also really scared of the unknown of what that would be like). The tests and all the visits are a pain, but need to be soldiered through with your eye on the end goal...YOUR HEALTH! In the end, this surgery has helped so many people improve their health and their lives in unbelievable ways. I just read a post of someone who after 9 months is down 90 lbs and off of her 12 meds! With all of your health issues, imagine what life would be like for you if losing weight nullified or at least alleviated most of them! It is normal to be scared and uncertain, but in the end, don't let that get in the way of taking control of your life and your health. YOU ARE WORTH IT! Good luck to you. My prayers are with you that you can find peace and calm going through this process and that you have a safe and successful surgery.

Kimme - it's always a struggle, and we're not perfect people. That is what makes us, human. As you know from your own experience, sometimes this process flows pretty easily; we're highly motivated, feeling good, looking forward in a positive way.... Then, life happens & knocks us off of our foundation. This by NO means makes you a failure. It makes you, human. I've gotten a lot from your posts, and I feel confident that you will get back on track. Life is all about ebbs & flows, and I believe that a momentary setback will not stop you from moving forward on the path you charted for yourself. And please please PLEASE stop beating yourself up and driving yourself crazy with the "I should'a done this, that or the other thing". That will only keep you in a negative state. Accept where you are.....and move forward. NOT easy, I know! You've come so far, and you can continue on. A doctor once told me that success isn't being a perfect dieter. It's being someone who gets right back on track after blowing it. We all have to accept, that is the way it will always be. Life is not black & white. It's many shades of gray.

using my want power, i do not eat when i am stressing or dealing negative people in my life.......thankfully i am able to use other coping measures. at work, with rude people, i take a walk up and down the halls....at home, in MIL issues or TOM issues with hub, i take a short stroll or take a hot bath and lose myself in a book.....come to far to let (food) get in my way. great post

I have noticed from others that sometimes after being banded for a while, it is easy to forget or stray from the original guidelines or some banders didn't get adequate information from their centre initially. For starters, I would log what you are eating (ideally through myfitnesspal or something like that that will track calories too). You should not exceed (per my doctor) about 1200 calories per day and should have about 60+ grams of protein. Try not to exceed 1 cup of food per meal and have a planned healthy snack in between meals (piece of fruit) or something. If you are not able to get even yogurt down, perhaps your band is a little too tight which may be causing you to eat some unhealthier items (sliders) that will go down easily and that may be part of the problem. It sounds like you could really benefit from a visit (or 2) with a nutritionist to get back on track. You shouldn't feel so defeated and frustrated with your food choices. I am able to eat most anything as long as I eat slowly and eat small bites. I would urge you to see out one (my bariatric clinic has ones on staff) and they have a lot of great ideas and advice. I truly don't feel deprived and only did when I was too tight and struggled getting solid food down. I also have found healthier ways to still enjoy many foods I loved before but now in a healthier way. There is a website called Emily bites (I believe) and there are many recipes that you make in cupcake pans so they are portioned out into appropriate sized meals. They are healthy versions (ie. lasagna) of everyday foods. I really enjoy them. Good luck to you!

...and by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

One of my favorite sayings is "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." I understand your fears and they are good to have now because if they are were you know them then they will always stay fears and never realty. I look forward to reading your blog and going through this with you.

Wow four months! Keep it up you are doing great keep asking for help. I remember when. I needed to slow down and put the Fork, Knife, Spoon down for a rest during every meal. I used to play games and see just how long I could let them be, before I picked them up again. I was always a (gulper) and a one bite (swallower). The band will keep you on your toes if you do not hold to those rules. Chew, chew, chew and chew some more to beat the band. Your mind thinks one thing, your taste buds another and with one swallow to fast or too large..... well we all know what happens then. No liquids we all know with meals RIGHT! I needed so much help back in the day and I still need to be reminded or my band will get the best of me. 100 pounds still off, June 29 will be my three year Bandversary and I am once a Newbie always a Newbie. Had the full nip and tuck upper and lower. Took my first Spinning Class at he YMCA last week and can't wait to go again. I enjoy being one of the small people. Eat small to be small! Easy does it and keep blogging, its the only thing that helped me work with my band as well as I have. I still keep learning new things. Going to FL at the end of the month and my biggest problem now is I have to many clothes and don't know what to bring. Go figure! Best wishes on your journey and keep blogging it helps. imaluckydog