Leaderboard

Can I say that I relate as well, but wanted to add that one thing I have learnt being 5 years post banding is that I never changed. On the outside? Yes. How people treated me? Definitely. But the fundamental part of me, who I was, who I am, remains the same. That doesn't change with the what you weigh. The difference though between me and someone who was always thin is that I recognise that someone's weight doesn't define them. And it doesn't define me. Nor should it define you. Fat, thin, you will still be you.

Our stories are very similar! Like you, I have been "the fat girl" my entire life. I can remember being as young as 5th grade and obsessed with how huge my thighs were. I remember being teased for being big all through junior high. I remember going shopping with my girlfriends in high school and being so ashamed because I couldn't wear anything at the "normal sized" shops they went to. I did date as a teen but my self esteem was always awful. When I hit college, like you I decided to own being a fat girl. I had more self confidence and I decided I didn't give a rip if someone did like me for me- fat and all. ...but then I had my first child at 21 years old...and got bigger and bigger. Over the years I ballooned up to over 400 pounds. Any self esteem I ever had was long gone and my health was seriously tanking fast. My best advice is to let go of that "fat girl" mentality. Too often we wear it like a suit of armor not a badge of courage. We're teased and tormented so severely we try to muster up all this false bravado to shield ourselves from being hurt yet again. It is simply wonderful you're doing this for your health- but you have to be ok with the fact there's nothing wrong with doing this to look good, too. You're not letting society or anyone else "win" by getting the Lap Band and losing weight. YOU are winning for taking control of your health so you can live a long, happy, healthy life with your husband. Best wishes to you

Steph, I am a geek. I have all the dates, first kiss, proposal, etc. recorded in my calendar.

I can totally understand your frustration and the waiting period can be daunting as we are all excited to start our journey. Try to be patient. It will come. You have dealt with your weight probably for a long time... what's a few more days. You DO belong. You are welcome and knowledge is power so it is good that you are on here even if you are not quite "there" yet.

I agree support is the brain tool. At first I thought I was missing so darn much when now I look back and I am not missing a darn thing except trash I was putting in my body every day.

This is really my favorite of all the flavored hummus! When i get lazy I buy Sabra, they make the best Red roasted pepper Hummus. I eat it daily! Thanks for posting this

I have noticed from others that sometimes after being banded for a while, it is easy to forget or stray from the original guidelines or some banders didn't get adequate information from their centre initially. For starters, I would log what you are eating (ideally through myfitnesspal or something like that that will track calories too). You should not exceed (per my doctor) about 1200 calories per day and should have about 60+ grams of protein. Try not to exceed 1 cup of food per meal and have a planned healthy snack in between meals (piece of fruit) or something. If you are not able to get even yogurt down, perhaps your band is a little too tight which may be causing you to eat some unhealthier items (sliders) that will go down easily and that may be part of the problem. It sounds like you could really benefit from a visit (or 2) with a nutritionist to get back on track. You shouldn't feel so defeated and frustrated with your food choices. I am able to eat most anything as long as I eat slowly and eat small bites. I would urge you to see out one (my bariatric clinic has ones on staff) and they have a lot of great ideas and advice. I truly don't feel deprived and only did when I was too tight and struggled getting solid food down. I also have found healthier ways to still enjoy many foods I loved before but now in a healthier way. There is a website called Emily bites (I believe) and there are many recipes that you make in cupcake pans so they are portioned out into appropriate sized meals. They are healthy versions (ie. lasagna) of everyday foods. I really enjoy them. Good luck to you!

...and by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

One of my favorite sayings is "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." I understand your fears and they are good to have now because if they are were you know them then they will always stay fears and never realty. I look forward to reading your blog and going through this with you.

God didn't make us with 85% less stomach, but he also didn't make us to give into temptation and get ourselves to where we are today. The idea is to use those he has put in our path with the talent and ability to perform a procedure that will get us back to where God wants us. Healthy and able to avoid the temptation the devil puts in front of us so we don't abuse the beautiful body and life God was loving enough to give us in the first place. Don't give in to doubt! God put you here at this time for a reason. I feel that I'm here right now because this is where God needed me to be so I could benefit from the procedure the has helped the medical profession perfect. Years ago they would have taken my stomach, or I would have been wearing a mu-mu waiting to die from a coronary or a stroke. Now with this procedure, I get to keep my stomach, lose weight, be healthy and live a long, happy life. Good luck!!!