I Have Met The Enemy and...

I am off for a short trip to San Francisco. As I was driving to the airport, I was thinking to myself...ok I can stop by the Admirals Club, they have great chocolate chip cookies, have nice snack...get some email done... Oh Shit my mind is screwing with me again, DAMN! As my rational side took over again, I thought to myself, this is the real battle of the Lapband.

We all know mind-hunger is the great trickster. Why is our own mind our greatest enemy? I now find myself moving beyond rationalization to confrontation. Before deciding on the Lapband my mental efforts were focused on justifying why my food consumption was OK...it was not that bad...I can make up for it by eating better tomorrow...I had a really stressful day...it is not fair that I am fat and others who eat the same or more are skinny...and the list can go on. Now, I find myself in mortal combat with my own mental demons, saying...ok you bastards stop trying to trick me into bad choices...who's side are you on anyway...I will not listen to the voices in my head...not this time, byte me, you SOB. (I cleaned up the language to protect the innocent, my internal discussion really sound like a George Carlin on one of his more colorful rants.)

The few people I have told about the Lapband have asked me why I think it will work, or why this diet will be different (I know it is not a diet, but I just smile and move on), I do believe it is the mental shift from justification to confrontation that is my secret weapon. Because, in the end it is our ability to manage choices, change innate and ingrained behaviors that will enable our success with the band. It is also why I was not really upset about my banding date being pushed out.

I have begun to view this battle like a great game of chess, if you are not thinking 3-5 moves ahead, you will lose. Bobby Fischer was famous for sacrificing his queen, and other odd behaviors, to set up elaborate traps for his opponents. I find myself thinking, or at least trying to think like Bobby Fischer, trying to anticipate how my demented mind will use seductive traps next, how I can repel those attacks and finally trap those demons into dead end moves. It is a laborious process, but it helps me know the enemy and defeat those demons without defeating myself.