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Privacy Issues At Work

I'm relatively new at my job and, although I did have the time accrued to take off for my surgery, I felt I needed to let my boss know that I was actually having the surgery so that I could have 1 week off and 1 week work from home just to be sure I was not pushing myself too soon.

 

She agreed and approved the time off, but I suspected she told some of the Sr. Managers of my surgery which I find inappropriate. Recently it was confirmed that she did disclose my surgery to one of the other managers. I'm appalled, but more so in that we had a recent operations meeting and she starts talking about various ppl having surgery and how obesity is affecting the work place.

 

I held my breath hoping Ms. Unprofessional did not actually name me out or refer to my surgery in open forum at work. I think she could see the expression on my face and it gave her some pause because she didn't expressly mention it. I'm aghast that someone can be so disrespectful to someone's privacy.

 

I'm on the fence as to whether I should address it with her directly or keep it moving. It's not like she has a history of handling things appropriately anyway, so I don't want to add fuel to the fire. I want to be respected but I also need my job.

 

I've heard that if you get on her bad side, then that's it. You're doomed. I'm an outspoken person by nature and I can tell some of my comments to date are not to her liking. I'm treading softly, but I don't know how much I can take.

 

I'm proud of having the decision to do the WLS but it's my business. I don't feel it needs to be fodder for ppl to discuss and I don't want the pressure of losing or not losing as fast as some feel I should. I just want to let my journey be my own and my family's.



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This is a very personal journey for you, and your boss was extremely out of line! My guess is that confronting her on the issue will only make matters worse and you said that you need your job. You could always go to HR, but that isn't always the best idea either/ depending on your company. Good luck to you and I wish you much success!

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harassment? And a violation of HIPPA laws, in my opinions.... Unless the sr managers NEEDED to know, but I don't understand why they need to....

talk to a union rep or contact a lawyer. Good luck

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I have the same fears. I have been at my job longer, but I just know telling my boss that it will eventually get around the office. The fact that your boss only thinks of the negative (i.e. you missing work for surgery and not you potentially dying by being obese) just confirms that there is still a lot of stigma around this type of surgery. I'm so sorry that you have to go through it.

My suggestion is to let it go. Going to HR or talking to her about it will just make it worse, and right now you need to stay positive. If word gets out, it gets out - all you can do is be true to yourself, be honest and do what you need to do to secure your physical and mental health. The only opinion about your medical history that matters is yours and your Doctors. If your boss does anything to specifically call you out, that would be the time to involve HR. Otherwise, save yourself the stress, stay off the boss' radar and keep doing your job so you can get PAID. That's all that matters, bottom line, is that you do your job and that they pay you to do it.

Don't rock the boat. You have way more important things to deal with than someone elses prejudice. Be the example of how WLS is a positive thing. :)

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I agree DON'T ROCK THE BOAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I retired after 30 years at one place and i always lived by that moto, no matter what. I have seen a lot of people cause themselves so much grief by rocking the boat.

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Since word is out, not much you can do about it. Don't provide any more details! Most people will not be content with knowing about the surgery. They are going to want details!! How much did it cost, how did it go, how much can you eat, what are you eating, and the big on: HOW MUCH DID YOU LOSE??? SAY NOTHING!! that will kill them on the inside, trust me lol!

Your boss took away your choice to keep this a secret, but you are in control from this point on. You got the time off that you needed, so forget about her. But from now on her and all the rest can only watch you get skinny but not be privilege to any more information.

I am so sorry you went through that, but you have control of your life again!! best of luck dear.

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Thank youl all for the advice. I'm going just tough it out and not rock the boat. Internally I'm whipped though....Disappointed that someone can be such a...."Mean Girl."

I really don't have much respect for that type of behavior. It's been gnawing at my for the past week (The meetings was on Monday). I just decided to let it go and pray that things get better.

Scale was not nice to me this week either. My energy is just so low....I can barely stay going and the stress isn't helping! I'm doing me this week.

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Hmm, I just think you need t go to HR and talk.

but talk calm way. I mean say that you don't want your privacy became public information.

I just think that if you will just say calm to HR it will not rock the boat. but I understand that it is scared.

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I work in a small company and I know that everybody knows. I've lost 50 pounds in 3 1/2 months - what are they going to think? It's kind of hard to get those results without having surgery. I have found that people at work are actually nicer to me and I get lots of compliments. I focus on that and not who told who what at the water cooler.

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For my company, HR is the end of the road. It's discouraging, but they really are there to protect the COMPANY from liability. There does not seem to any real commitment to helping the employee. It's very discouraging but I don't want to be labeled a "problem employee." I'm just going to try to tough it out unless it's just BLATANT and I can't stay quiet.

I had a wonderful meeting today with a client and they gave me HUGE kuddos for a project I'd worked on for a few months. Terms by Exec was "excellent work" "thank you" "wow!" and my boss, Evilena, was there and they didn't even ask her to speak. She couldn't jump in and take credit for any part of the project either, so it was hilarious!

We (the other Sr. Managers in attendance) almost cracked up when she tried to find a fault in my presentation and I said "Thank you....that leads us to page 3. Please review diagram and I think that will answer your question."

It was the equivalent of poking Larry in the eye and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I know it's mean to call someone Evilena but It's a small, fleeting victory and I enjoyed the daliance......even if it's fleeting!

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