can't think about anything but VSG!

Here I am at work, not working. Again. I can't focus on anything but getting VSG. I am reading all of the threads, looking at the pictures, thinking about the surgery...NOT doing my work. I was never very good at using my time wisely. There are lots of things I COULD do here, but nothing very pressing. So I just sit, perusing the website, feeling guilty.

Why am I such a procrastinator? Why do I keep putting things off? If I would just take one small task and follow it through, I know I would feel better and want to do more. I think I put off things that I am not sure of all of the steps - when I hit a small roadblock, I stop, "well, I guess I'll do that later."

And I let the negativity push me further down. My "all or nothing" view causes me to throw in the towel for the day if I start off bad.

Am I using the surgery focus to keep me from having to work? The therapist said I am feeling "HOPE". Is that why I am so drawn to the website and spend all day thinking about it? I will get all of my work done eventually. I always do. I just wish I could be more proactive...