So it is 58 days to my surgery, and I am finding the time is just dragging, I am so eager to be sleeved by now I think I'l just bounce right into the operating theatre. It is frustrating that these days are plodding past.
I've been seeing my psychologist more frequently than I was to help me deal with food issues as I am determined to try and make this work on all levels long-term. This week we talked about some things that have surfaced, and I had an 'AHA" moment about the fact that I've been subconsciously making myself "invisible" over the years. Being a fat person, for me, means that I tend to do things to sort of fade into the background and in fact piling on the pounds has been a part of that behaviour among others. Ring any bells people?
Seeing the psychologist is costing me an absolute FORTUNE and I end up crying at nearly every session. I've never done anything like this before and I so hope it will clear out all of the nonsense that is my judgemental daily inner voice. Yuck, such a delightful self-defeating inner dialogue- and I've never really been that aware of it. Actually I'm quite simply ashamed of myself for thinking this way for so long.
Any one else talking it through with a professional and getting help that way?
Well it has come down to the wire finally- my surgery is tomorrow between 8am and 10 am my time, here in the Middle East - I reckon I am about 8 hours ahead of many of you. Visited my sick little kitty at the vet, bought some more rtd Isopure clear drinks, tidied the house, and chugged water all day in the hopes of staying somewhat hydrated for tomorrow. I have been officially fasting for surgery for two hours as I write- it is 10 hours until 8am! I'm quite nervous and actually I can feel I've been grinding my teeth all day. My bag is pretty much packed and I'm going to do a final weigh-in early in the morning before my friend Debs takes me to the hospital. Anxious, excited, pleased, dismayed, scared- it's all going on in that thick skull of mine...
I made a youtube channel and posted my first video if anyone's interested, here it is.
SLEEVIE HERE I COME!
I have today and tomorrow to get ready, and then my surgery is on Monday!
I am finding it very difficult to wrap my head around all this as I'm just not thinking of myself because my beloved cat is really sick. She was given to me by Godmother and my Mom before she died- so she is very special to me and is only 12 years old. She has had a temperature, stopped eating and was dehydrated and the vets have done blood tests, a chest X-ray, and a tumour scan and they still don't know what it is and this has been going on for over two weeks. She has had a feeding tube inserted through her neck into her stomach because she has lost so much weight -she is just skin and bones although recently she did put on a little weight. She has been in and out of the vet and is there being monitored right now. They still have no diagnosis, she still is not eating and they are bareIy keeping on top of the temperature. If she is utterly miserable with no clear positive prognosis I will have to make a difficult decision because I just can't put her through more pain and misery. I simply can't bear the thought of losing her though - as I live alone and much of my life pretty much revolves around her. (I'm the original weird cat-lady) NOT good timing :-( and very much adding to my worries with the surgery. Oh, and to top it all, it is costing me an utter fortune (although her health has no price to me).
So I'm home, my sleeve is done and I am walking and sipping and doing all the right things. It is sore, ut owhere near as painful as expected and I'm getting noticeably better every day. Imaging feeling like you've just done heaps and heaps of ab exercises- that is how I feel today 3 days out.Cat still sick, but can't deal with that until I'm stronger. It will be interesting to see how I manage on my own now, will keep you all posted. Off for a nap in my OWN bed! YAY!
I am one month out today, and I am so pleased with my sleeve so far. I have really recovered well and so far I have lost 11.2 kgs or 24 lbs
I tried on some clothes yesterday so i could work out size-wise what i need to keep and chuck out and was SO pleasantly surprised that I will have to buy new clothes sooner than I thought.
I'm still swimming about 6 days a week and I'm really getting in lots of protein, some days I'm even over 100 grams.
I have a few issues with BM but have found a helpful laxative tea, I am still a little sore if I try and lift something I shouldn't and getting in water is a bit of a chore.
However, my recovery as been so smooth, I really have nothing to worry about. I really think my surgeon Dr Abdulsalman Al Taie did a fantastic job, my incisions have closed up so quickly and my soreness has been extremely minimal- he went in ,cut , stapled and got out with very little trauma to my insides. I am thankful I don't have nausea at all, or acid issues.
I think I can safely say I LOVE MY SLEEVE!
I have 38 days to go. This pre-op stuff is nail-biting. Worse than a seat-clencher film. I am SO over waiting. I will have to find something to keep my mind off it or I'll end up a gibbering idiot. Ack!
On the plus side- or should I say MINUS side, I have been gradually cutting down unhealthy carbs for the last 3 weeks, and for the last two days I've low-carbing with a vengeance. In 3 weeks I have lost 4 kg which is nearly 9 lb, so I'm pleased with that! My doctor hasn't asked me to go on a pre-op diet as such , he just asked that I up my protein- but I figured I'd do my best to lose some Kg's preop and shrink my liver too. AND I'm upping my protein .
So I decided to start a bit of a blog here as it will hopefully track my progress along the vertical sleeve journey. I'm 42, 5 ft 3" and I live in Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates. Dubai is my next-door-neighbour and that is where I had my first consultationwith my surgeon - a Dr Abdulsalam Al Taie. However, he will be doing the surgery in the Al Noor hospital in Abu Dhabi which is nice, as I'll be closer to home. I really liked him, he was very open to answering my zillion questions and seemed quite relaxed and confident, and very much on-the-ball. His info session was fairly comprehensive and I will have another meeting with him and a bloodwork and tests session before surgery as there is still a bit of time to go.
From here on out I am bursting the bubble- it feels real. Today according to the surgeon's uber-space-agey body composition analyser machine thingy I weigh 115 kg and have all SORTS of ghastly and worrying statistics. I think this is the highest weight I've ever been. Argh! Well thank flipping heaven this is soon to change.... starting with my own version of a pre-op diet right now.
My surgery date has been tentatively set for 2nd of July.Yay!
I am so excited!
Thank-you Tamou you really were a big help holding my hand today and desertmom thanks for the laughs and encouragement.
Onwards and downwards!
I am 10 (actually that was yesterday- so 11 technically) days out. I had my stitches taken out and a shot of B vits yesterday. I am feeling so much better, walking is normal and only one incision hurts a bit. The nurse at the doc's office weighed me and I've lost 7kg's in 10 days! (15lbs!) I am managing to get a lot (if not all) my liquids in and about 50g of protein a day,and recovery seems to be smooth, so I am happy.
The down side is I had a heart-to heart with the vet and the only reason now they have eliminated everything else, and why my cat can be not putting on weight even though they are feeding her crazy amounts of high-calorie food through a feeding tube every two hours is that she has a tumour that is hidden (we can't see it in the scan). What this means ultimately is that when I bring her home on Sunday she will be spending her last few days with me while she still has a little bit of an ability to enjoy home comforts, and then I will have to do the unthinkable. So I'm very very sad too.
Today my surgeon cleared me for his version of "phase 2" which aded to clears, is fat free gravy, fat free yoghurt, sugar/fat free puddings, and later pureed potato, veg and labneh (a type of soft cheese here).
So I had cram of muhroom soup, strained, with some ff yoghurt mixed in.
I was sick of clears! Now I'm trying to think of sneaky ways to add protein to all of this.
Walked to the local supermarket today, and went to visit my cat at the vet.It involved a fair amount of walking and tonight I'm going to walk around the neighbourhood. It is 45 degrees celsius outside (113 deg F)which doesn't help. Not managing to get much more liquid in me than a litre a day though, but I try. I think I'm doing not bad with protein though. Today I had a carton of muscle milk for breakfast (15g protein), a bowl of warm butternut and sweet potato soup with a scoop of unflavoured protein mixed in for lunch (20g protein) and late this afternoon a can of pure protein shake (35g protein). I am only really enjoying the soup to be honest, the shakes are kind of "meh". I have some crystal light lemonade that a friend found me and I've had about 2 cups of that too and that is my lot. I may try to drink some herbal tea before bedtime, but I feel so full of liquid that I'm gurgling!
I'm a little tired today, but not too bad, my side is sore today which is a bit of an annoyance as I'm trying to stop the liquid brufen pain meds they have me on and I can't cut them so much today. I sneezed today which was OOOUUUUCH!
Things are going smoothly, although I'm a bit tired and need to sleep quite often and am still stuck on my back like a turtle when I try to get out of bed in the morning. HOWEVER, I managed to sleep on my side last night- yay! I am drinking protein shakes (muscle milk this morning) and soup (butternut and sweet potato today), and thinned 0% fage yoghurt with splenda and vanilla essence added. 10 g of protein too!
My cat is still not doing so great.They have increased her feeding, if I bring her home I will have to tube- feed her every 4 hours and I'm just not up to that right now, so I've asked the vet to keep her for a few more days.
It has been a while since I posted,I am back at work/school and it has been more than a little busy. I am really really thankful that I have been able to swap my break and lunch duties around so for once I actually get to sit down and have half an hour to eat during my crazily hectic schedule. It has been a godsend. My exercise routine has been totally knocked flat though as I am getting home so late and exhausted.
The good news is that my WEEKS long stall has shifted, and I am in onederland! 198.4 lb's today! YAY!
I have bought a few work clothes in a smaller size, and everyone commented in the first few days back on my WL which was nice. My standard answer to questions is- "changed my diet, been swimming a lot..."
Onwards and downwards!
I'm a little bit tired today, doing all the right stuff- drinking as much as possible and am trying to drink 1 isopure clear a day diluted with water. I seem to have no problem drinking slowly. I didn't manage all of an isopure yesterday, but did the day before. It is what it is! I'm keeping hydrated. Today I am feeling good but a little tired and strangely emotional, I think I need to catch up on some sleep and so will take it easy today. One of my incisions is weeping a little, the smallest one. It is not angry or red, I cleaned it with a dettol solution & put another waterproof dressing on so perhaps this is normal as it doesn't hurt. I won't worry about it unless it gets swollen, red or painful. I'm quite PLEASANTLY surprised BY how low-key and uneventful my recovery is- which is great! Long may it last!!!
I can't believe I am three and a half weeks out now- time is racing by. I had to put my poor little cat down recently, which broke my heart so I have had a serious case of the glums.
Some things, however have been going well..I helped to move a friend's apartment contents and cat to a new apartment in the same building, and she has given me a key and said I can use the apartment pool whenever I like while she is away on vacation. Since I was cleared to submerge about a week ago I have been swimming every day and I am loving it. I'm starting to really regret that I don't live in an apartment with a pool though - something to think about for next year when we all have to make decisions about whether to take company housing or not. A place with a pool where I can swim sounds great right now.I can't believe I am so enjoying it- which means I must keep it up, even though it is only breaststroke for 30 minutes a day it burns nearly 500 calories and works on the dreaded batwings.
Since my first VSG surgeon consultation back in April I have lost 17.5 kgs (38 lbs ) and since surgery 9.8 kgs (21.6 lbs).Not bad- I've had a few 'stalls' but I keep going back to Benjammin's wise words about this here
http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/blog/1390/entry-3580-the-voice-of-reason/ and then I just mentally shrug and get on with it. Yes it is annoying but it'll help no-one to dwell on it.
I am onto mashed foods now which is GREAT. I have cooked the yummy baked Ricotta cheese and love it. I also eat scrambled egg, tuna mayo, baked grouper, prawn paste, shredded cheese, bolognaise sauce, minced chicken mayo. I have also discoverd that if I add a really strong 2 teaspoons of decaff instant coffee dissolved in a little hot water to my isopure vanilla shake it takes the sickly sweetness away and makes it like a really quite drinkable type of iced latte. So I'm supplementing my protein with one of those every day, and having no problem getting protein in. I am NOT getting water in so easily. As soon as I go out anywhere during the day I can't drink as it is Ramadan which means no drinks/food consumption in public and that really slows me down. I am getting enough liquids in, just not as much as I'd like. I have found if I eat too much my nose runs and I sneeze a lot which is a bit strange but I am not alone in that and I'm glad I have some sort of full signal.
Otherwise, I'm physically good, healing ridiculously well, no weird side-effects from surgery and am finally sleeping on my tum. Now to try and stop missing my kitty so much and drag myself kicking and screaming out of the glums.
Hi there- been awhile!
I am winning at some things and failing miserably at others. I've lost 48 lbs since surgery though which is great and I'm just about managing to eat properly even with the stresses of work and weird eating times.I've been sick a few times from eating too fast though which was horrible and I have to learn to make people leave me alone for that small time I have at lunch. Lots of work folks have commented on my WL and people are asking me how I'm doing it.
Unfortunately my exercise routine has dwindled to nothing- I leave for work at 6.20 am and get back at 5pm most days and then I normally have to spend time doing paperwork until about 7pm. I am just SHATTERED. I need to find a solution to this as it worries me a lot.Weekends are not much better at the moment. Not good.
I have drunk some red wine on two occasions and didn't have too bad a reaction, however I was very moderate with it. I have had to get some new clothes as my bottom half is now a UK size 16 and top half an 18 - I am going to buy cheap supermarket clothes when I fit into them so I don't spend too much on the downward journey. I am still struggling to get all of my water in and with my high protein diet, constipation is an issue.
Next month I will resume my psychologist meetings, she is so booked up it has been a real trial getting appointments. I have much to discuss, I feel quite depressed at times now that the "food crutch" has gone and this is not really like me at all. Subsequently work issues are really getting to me and I'm struggling a lot with being overwhelmed.
Back to the drawing board!