Since my last minor unfill, I have been able to eat more and I don't like it. I have been able to eat and enjoy food that I couldn't before. i know, it's bad, I should have more willpower, but my band is my buddy that helps keep me in line. I have managed to gain 4 pounds back and I am super disappointed. My next fill scheduled for Monday so i am on my p's and q's with the strict "no eating out" and protein shakes again. I just hate how you still have to "diet" in between fills and watch everything **sadface**. Oh, well, I wanna see that scale go back DOWN!
Uh oh....oops...guilt, then not feeling so well is what you feel like when you "cheat".
Although, cheat is a relative term, given the situation, it still doesn't make you feel good at all.
Yesterday, I got up, drank my protein shake, had some coffee...all was well. For lunch, another protein shake stomached, all was going good. I didn't even need Jello to help tie me over for dinner. Life was good and I was feeling great. Usually, by the time I make it home for dinner, I have consumed around 380 calories for the whole day, so I'm ready for some chicken!
Wellllll, shortly before the end of my work day, my husband called in excruciating pain from a headache. He has a shunt that was put in as a child, revised in his teen years, and revised about 4 years ago. He said this was the exact pain he had 4 years ago. So, I booked it home and got him to the hospital. They decided to admit him. We got at the hospital at 5pm (with nothing but my water bottle and a bowl..ahem..for him). By the time they admitted him, it was 11pm with storms rolling in.
By this time, the cafeteria was closed, my water bottle empty, my energy nonexistent, and I was not feeling to hot. So, I ventured out to see what was open. The local Applebee's kitchen had closed for the night. My options were....eeeek....McDonald's and Taco Bell. I wasn't thinking to clearly as I was tired, had no energy, felt so drained, and really ready to eat and sleep. I got a burrito and a couple tacos to go.
I ate most of it, besides a few bites of the burrito and maybe a half a taco and the guilt set in. I knew, in the back of my mind, there wasn't much I could have done, given the circumstances and no dollar bills to get something healthy out of the vending machine. I did kick myself for not looking on my sparkpeople.com app and finding the most appropriate choice at Taco Bell to keep somewhat on my my diet (if there even IS an appropriate choice..lol). But, I found that the Taco Bell didn't really taste too good at all and my tummy was actually upset at the morning. If it could talk, it would probably say,"What the hell where you thinking?" or "Ewwww, gross."
This morning, after a few hours of sleep, I drove about 35 minutes home, where my mom was staying with the kids. I got my son ready for school and dropped my daughter off at daycare. I downed a protein shake, which made me feel good, and went to my preop appointment with the surgery center.
We went over what is going to happen before, after, and during surgery. They did blood work and took a urine sample. I was asked if I was doing okay with the diet. I confided that I followed it PERFECTLY until last night mishaps (she was familiar with my husband as I almost cancelled this morning with my surgeon because I didn't know what HIS surgeon was going to do). She was understanding and didn't seem to think that was going to endanger the surgery or anything, which was good.
I did have a Starbucks coffee this morning at the hospital with real sugar, which I have not done since the "diet". Also bad. So, I have made the firm resolve tomorrow, when i am back on my normal Mommy/Work/Wife schedule, to get back on this routine and finish this sucker out. I am actually excited to get back on the firm routine and do it. I swear, after last night's carbs, my body is calling for them and I have to shut those voices up again (hello, day 2!). But, at least I know, in a couple more days, with the help of protein shakes, jello, and Lean Cuisine, I will get back to the 'no cravings'.
Ahhhhh, thank you if you were able to keep up with my rantings. I feel incredibly guilty and can't wait to get back on the schedule I am supposed to be on to get to the life I so desperately WANT to live!
Btw, DH will hopefully be released today with no surgery and hopefully no surgery for sometime **fingers crossed**
Wow! That was soooo quick! Given the fact that BCBS of KC didn't get the paperwork until last Friday and yesterday was a holiday, we got a written approval in a little over 1 business day!
The doctor's office had a cancellation and was ready to schedule me in two weeks from today, but that is a bit too quick for my liking :-) I'm not prepared for the liquid diet to start today...lol. So, they scheduled me in on September 30th, which means I start my liquid diet a week from Thursday. I already am wondering where "the last meal" will be. I know it will most likely take place Monday evening :-)
I am sooo excited and so nervous all at the same time. I am ready for this new life to start!
I FINALLY had my first consultation with Dr. Malley yesterday. The whole meeting and consultation just made me feel all the better that I was making the right decision by choosing Lap Band and choosing this facility to do the surgery.
I was anticipating the psych evaluation as well as meeting with the nutritionist. However, my insurance company is requesting 3 months of a supervised diet plan. This is a little disheartening as it just seems as though another hoop to jump through. I just know if I stick with everything, it will be worth it in the end. How is it that 3 months seems so far when it's something you really want, but not so far when, say, your children are growing? LOL. Do any of you have any motivation tips or what exactly the insurance company is looking for when they ask you to do the diet plan? It seems kind of silly because the whole reason I want lap band is because I do have a hard time controlling my calories. It's not so much the wrong foods for me as it is the dang portion control! Any comments about your story would be much appreciated as 3 months (I know, I know, most "diet plans" are longer than that!) seems so daunting when you want the instant gratification of NOW!
As I plug along in my journey, I am determined to succeed and will just do these hurdles as soon as possible. The doctor should be able to see me for my first "diet plan" appointment on June 1st. The two weeks even seems far
:rolleyes2:
I'm so ready for tomorrow. I have a slight head cold that is exiting my body, so I need to contact the surgeon's office to make sure everything is kosher. I haven't taken any Claritin since yesterday, so hopefully it's still all good.
The liquids are going to be tough today, but I'll take it hour by hour. Nothing but chicken broth, Sprite Zero, and sugar free popsicles are what I've chosen for my clear liquids today. I forgot to make jello but DANG (!), I can hardly stand it anymore!
I stepped on the scale this morning. BTW, the scale is my new best friend because it starts my day of positively...It read 308.2 this morning. I swear, I think I saw the scale actually smile at me. This time, almost two weeks ago, I was hovering around 326.
**Smile**
Well, I had a little fluid taken out about 6 weeks ago, due to me getting sick from all of the drainage when I got a cold. And, I have been naughty....very very naughty. I have no idea who much fluid she took out (although, I'm guessing not alot) and it made a HUGE difference). However, I need it put back in ASAP! My weight has officially stalled completely out. I can eat more than I should and am hungrier in between meals. I keep gaining and losing the same 3 pounds. I had an appointment a week and a half ago, but had to reschedule, due to work conflict. The soonest they could get me in was May 16th, but I am going to BEG to get in sooner, if they have a cancellation, next week. I ate a donut (I know, I know) with absolute ease and no problem. I am leaving for Mexico in less than two months and was hoping to have a little better weight loss by the time I left. I want my restriction back. Unfortunately, it just means that I have to work on my self control a little harder :-) On the plus side, I'm walking more, hoping to counteract the new position of being able to eat any type of food (not that I should).
aka "Back to work day". I probably should have taken today off to just sleep, but there always has to be a first day back, right? My throat pain has gotten a lot better. Unfortunately, it seems like a chest cold is settling in with my drainage. I was super freaked out about coughing and slipping, but my surgeon's office just told me it would be okay and it will get better :-) I have another dose of pain meds being called in (thankfully) and can't wait to get home, put on my pj's, and rest. My incision area has felt really good, considering, and is just sore due to some coughing.
I hope everyone is doing okay..I have managed to escape most of the gas pain and I feel extremely grateful for that!
Back to work and trying to remind myself to get up an move every hour!
The first day back to work yesterday was okay. I lasted about 7 1/2 hours out of 9 then called it a day. I took ibuprofen with me, but it wasn't cutting it. I was so happy to get home and take my pain meds!
I fixed some thin, instant potatoes last night as yesterday marked the first day I could eat thicker, full liquids. They were so yummy and I'm not even a potato person! I had a serving of that and a serving of tomato soup for dinner and it was actually quite filling (I'm on high alert for portion sizes these days!). A couple hours later, I enjoyed a small container of actual pudding, which was a welcomed step up from popsicles (I need a tiny break from them).
Today, I had a protein shake for breakfast, leftover soup/potatoes for lunch, and I figure i will drink another shake this afternoon so I can get my protein in. I think I might puree some leftover taco soup for dinner tonight.
I am trying hard to at least get 1000 calories in. I haven't been doing that after the surgery and I find I don't have very much energy and my weight loss stalls out. I actually gained 4 pounds from the liquids during surgery, but lost it (and one more, too) as of this morning. One thing I make sure of is that I take my chewable vitamins and get my protein in. That is a must. Thank goodness for sparkpeople to keep me on track!
My incisions feel better today, too. Not as sore and I was actually able to move around from my back to side last night without realizing it. Usually, I wake up to change positions because it hurts. It is also easier to get in and out of bed. I still have a bit of a sore throat, but it is so much better! I think it has healed from the surgery but what is left is from this cold I am trying to shake. The kids have it, too, so I will be glad once it leaves the house. I am thinking that my throat probably hurt worse than it should because I had drainage on the day of surgery, which I'm sure didn't make the tube situation better.
I did bring my pain meds to work today. I took them shortly after arriving at work this morning so it'll be worn off by the time I drive home. Luckily, I have desk job and a position that will allow me to take pain meds and still perform. They are helping 100%. It is so hard to sit upright during the day, all day long, at the moment. I know it'll get all better and I'm hoping to be off of pain meds completely in the next couple of days. Each day,I fell better and better!
How is everyone else feeling since surgery? Any additional weight loss? What does your diet look like now (even if you are months post op, what do you eat?)?
Today has immediately started off better than yesterday!
I swear, I was starving yesterday..lol. I had some coffee in the morning, which actually helped curb my appetite. Then, I had a protein shake for lunch. When I got home, I was lusting after my Weight Watchers Smart Ones Ravioli. It tasted sooooo good! The doctor said I could have sherbert (no more than a cup), so I had that, too. After I had the sherbert, I felt pretty satisfied and called it a night.
I had to pick my 15 month old daughter from daycare last night and made a beeline to the grocery store for more sugar free jello (needed some variety!) and sherbert. Badddd idea. The foods in the deli smelled delish. The food looked amazing. And, the fruits were calling my name as we walked by. I was sure to grab what I needed and got out of there asap.
I also did great cooking the kids dinner last night. I made sure to warm up my Smart Ones right at the time they started eating. Their food looked awfully good, but after drinking protein shakes all day, mine did, too!
Anyhoo, today is better. I can do this!
Today was much better! I don't know if maybe it's because it's the weekend and I'm home or maybe I'm just getting used to everything.
I woke up this morning, had a protein shake, ran some errands, and took my kids to a kids carnival. The carnival was all free with moonwalks, pony rides, games, free food and drinks. It was hard to watch everyone eating hotdogs, nachos, cotton candy, ice cream, etc, but it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought that it would be. I drank my flavored water and just enjoyed being with the family.
I didn't get my other protein shake in until 2pm, and I could FEEL it! I felt so ran down. I blended a shake then took a 45 minute nap while my daughter was napping. After that, I felt better.
Now, tonight, my husband and I were without the kids as they went to my parents house. My normal dinner, during this diet, has been a Lean Cuisine or a Smart Ones Weight Watchers meal. However, I remembered that Applebees had some Weight Watchers items on their menu. Sure enough, I looked up the nutrion facts on their Italian Chicken and Portabello sandwich and it was very similar to their frozen meals, with maybe 30 extra calories. The protein and carbs were also similar. So, my husband and I went to Applebee's. I ordered that sandwich and an extra side of steamed brocolli. It came with fruit, but I opted not to eat that, since fruit wasn't listed anywhere in my preop diet. (I have been following that to a T!). But, it felt so good to eat actual, non frozen food, and not feel guilty about it. It is a smaller portion sandwich on a whole wheat bun and it was fabulous! If any of you are on a similar diet to mine, I would HIGHLY recommend it! I feel normal, happy, and satisified--with only 750 calories consumed today!
My surgeon's office called this evening and informed me that everything was submitted to my insurance company and that it can take up to 20 business days to get a response. I am glad all the paperwork is finally with him. The real waiting begins....NOW!
Soooo, I'm getting a bit discouraged. They unfilled what they put in last time. And, I gained back the weight I lost. Of course, I realize that it is all water weight I lost and gained back, but that means I'm still at a standstill. I know my magic number should lie between 6.5 cc (where I can eat anything) and 7.5 ccs (where I can't drink anything). I yearn for the day I can feel restriction. Sometimes, I feel it and sometimes I don't. I can still eat bread and all of the things I shouldn't be able to eat and that actually makes me sad. i need to know something will get stuck if I eat it so I won't WANT it. I'm still working through the food issues, but it makes it harder when you can still have what you probably shouldn't be eating. Eeeeeek! When I try to measure out my food, I am STARVING after just the 4 ounces of protein and half a cup of veggies. How much in your band did it take to reach your "sweet spot"? What foods can't you have and how much can you eat?
Well, as of tomorrow, I will be banded a month. I was a rockstar the first couple weeks post op. I did fabulously. Then, when my husband landed back in the hospital for 5 days, I slipped off the wagon and began making poor choices as far as food. Strangely, when he landed back in the hospital is when my hunger actually returned. I was set in my ways after the surgery, without much hunger, even though I knew it would return. I am finally getting back in to the routine of things and need to start keeping track of everything on sparkpeople.com again. I also have been slacking on my protein shakes the past week and need to do that, too. I seriously can't wait for the fills to start! My worst habit is grabbing something on my way home from work. I live about 45 minutes away from home and by the time i leave work, I'm starving. I need to just stock up on protein bars so i can have a mid afternoon snack. Can anyone recommend any good snacks that have nothing to do with jello? lol
On the plus side, I am eating smaller bites and taking longer to chew. Therefore, I'm not eating crazy big portions And, I am starting Zumba this week. . On the minus side, I have gained 5 pounds...eeeeek!
Must....lose.....again.
I have been losing slowly.....so slowly. I have read up another person's success by adding in MORE protein. I should have figured this out by now. I reviewed my sparkpeople.com records. I have found that I am staying in the 1500 range some days, which is not good. But, that I can make wiser choices by adding in more protein. If I have a salad with fat free dressing, throw in some sunflower seeds, etc. It makes sense. I have no idea why I have gotten away from protein. I aim for 60 each day, but some days I don't even get that. Others, try for at least 75. I'm curious, how much protein do you have everyday? Do you do better by counting calories, counting protein, or both?
Well, I successfully (and easily) lost the weight I gained on last blog. Funny thing is, I don't really feel like I"m even trying. I do notice that I am eating less, but I don't have anything in my band yet. Which, I'm not complaining, at all!
Today, I reached my first NSV. I tried on a shirt I was able to wear (and look good in) 3 years ago, but haven't been able to wear in at least 2 years. YES! It's actually exciting to look at the back of my closet now and see the clothes I will soon be able to wear again!
Right now, I am only a couple pounds away from being under 300..I can't wait. 300 is such a gross number. I am READY for the 2's then the 1's!
That was the good news I had to share. Now, comes the bad. Did you hear about this ridiculous article written by Maura Kelly in Marie Claire magazine? If not, I encourage you to read it and be completely outraged. I can't believe, in this society, we have people like this. I almost wish I had a subscription just so I could cancel it! WHAT A TOOL! Here is the link:
http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/overweight-couples-on-television
I went to my doctor's office a couple of days ago and didn't receive a fill this time around. I have been seeing the nurse practitioner the past couple of times and she is just as nice and informative as the surgeon. She recommended I not get a fill this time and just focus on exercise for this month (which I have been very much slacking off on). She also gave me a list of recommended Lean Cuisine type dishes that they recommend for lunches. They all include chuncks of protein (which she tells me to have), under 300 calories, and over 15 grams of protein. I really like having that list because it wasn't what I was eating! So, hopefully I will lose more this month. I am almost to 7.5 cc's in a 10 cc band, but I finally have restriction, so that is a positive!
So, after my sinus drainage last week, I made an appointment with my doctor's office to get a little fluid taken out. They took out just a bit and what a difference! I was able to eat, drink, and start losing again! I have lost 3 pounds since they took the fluid out. I think because I can get my protein in now! I am officially 46 pounds down and almost 6 months out. Once these 280's are gone, I will feel so much better. I feel like I have been stuck here forever! Now that I am finally where I need to be (fluid wise), I am hoping it will start coming off quicker now. Too much fluid, I don't lose. Too little, I don't lose.
We went out of town on a shopping trip this weekend and I was really proud. Instead of getting steak or something like it at Outback, I got a small size seared tuna appetizer at Outback. And, it was filling! I have found that I need to just order small portions when I go out. Even if I get a smaller meal and box half of it up, I will still try to eat more than I should. It's all mental. If I get just what I need (usually a kid sized portion is plenty), I do better at limiting myself.
It's taken 6 months, but I am finally starting to "get it" and adjusting. Everyday is a struggle for a recovery food addict, but I am getting better and better at eating better. One upside to eating out? Instead of going for the most bang for the buck (I used to choose the biggest portion item sometimes!), I can get a better quality, tastier, and healthier item for the same price and be okay with the fact that it's a tiny portion. I love my band. Sometimes we bicker, by my love for it is unconditional :-)
Well, the first fill is going to Monday. I really can't wait. My weight loss has definitely stalled out and I am excited to get this kick started once again. I am trying to plan a vacation to Mexico next summer and would LOVE to drop some excess baggage by then. The earlier, the better
My doctor actually has me set up for an appointment on Monday, one two weeks from then, and one more two weeks from then. So, hopefully we will kick this in high gear...lol
What do you all do the day of your fill? Do you eat light or do liquids? I suppose I should call the doctor, perhaps, but I'm curious to see what they have you do. My appointment isn't until in the late afternoon.
Yes! One step closer! I had my nutrition consult two days ago and I feel like I have another notch in my belt. It cost me $63 out of pocket to do for about a 45 minute consultation.
I don't know what I was expecting, but there were times in the consult it sounded like the nutritionist was trying to sway me away from it. It was really weird. Maybe she wasn't, but that was kind of the aura that the conversation seemed to have. She talked alot about things I would need to do and change, which I knew, but she also had that "are you sure you want to do this" look when she asked some of the questions. I just kept thinking to myself, "This skinny, young chick can't have a clue what I am really going through."
Maybe it's just insecurity of years of being overweight, but I really feel sometimes as though people who don't have a problem with weight look at those of us that do pathetically. You know...the "why can't you just work out" or "why can't you just eat right" or "why are you hungry"? I have no problem with working with out. I know the right foods to eat. My problem is that I eat to much of it. And, sometimes I feel so hungry I feel sick to my stomach. I can't wait to get that feeling to subside! I want restriction so badly!
Anyway, the nutrition consult is out of the way and I have my psych evaluation scheduled for August 9th. My 3 month diet should be completed on September 1st...yay! After all that is done, I should be ready to go.
I gained 2 pounds in June (thank you, Bahamas and frozen drinks!), but I have lost 3 since my last weigh in. With the help of sparkpeople.com, I am really trying to keep on track with working out and eating right. I have really come to LOVE that website. If you are just browsing this blog, be sure to check out that website. It was the best info I got from the nutritionist I saw
I think after all of the putting fluid in/taking fluid out, I have finally hit my sweet spot. I feel restriction and I feel full for several hours in between meals. It's been nice. When I went to the doctor with for the 2nd fill and they overfilled me, I had some fluid taken out. I actually had less in there than with my first fill so I was very hungry. I gained several pounds back. But, with this fill, I have lost about 5 pounds this week, which was good. I have also noticed not only are my clothes starting to feel a bit looser, my pants also seem longer......anyone else have this? Strange!!! Other than busily scurrying to get last minute Christmas stuff together, life has been pretty vanilla. How is everyone else out there doing? Any good weight loss goals met recently?
Well, I thought I had more time to go on my diet plan, but apparently not. I am now officially done with the diet portion. Now, once I do the psych evaluation, I will be going for preapproval.
I have my first meeting today. I heard that he is just going to do some background questions today. On my next visit, I will do the pen and paper test. Then, on my last visit, he will go over my answers.
It's exciting to know I am this close. My daughter's babysitter got LapBand in March 2010 and has already lost 88 pounds in her journey. I am simply stoked to have this tool!
42, to be exact. I am so proud to have that weight GONE. Although I have a lot more to lose, I am well on my way. I need to work out more and see the weight drop even farther, quicker :-)
I can't believe the countdown is almost here. These past 5 months have really been something. All this visiting the doctor, jumping through hoops, researching, etc, has finally resulted in surgery in 2 weeks. I am so excited!
I start my pre op diet Thursday. I am supposed to have a protein shake for breakfast, for lunch, and a Lean Cuisine (or something similar) for dinner. Also, I can have chicken broth, sugar free popsicles, sugar free jello, and sherbet (up to 2 cups) during the period.
I have to admit, though, saying goodbye to food is actually quite sad. I had my "final dinner" Sunday night...which, consisted of a feast at Red Lobster (oh, I will miss you cheese rolls!). However, I told my husband, it will feel good to leave a restaurant and not be hungry or overly stuffed. I am one who never finds a middle ground between the two and end up STUFFED! But, I'm ready to say goodbye. And, I know I'm ready to say goodbye to all the bad foods.
Tonight or tomorrow night, I will do what I have never done before, but SHOULD have done years ago. And, that is buy a scale. Before, I always avoided the scale because I was deathly afraid of what it might read and feel horrible. Even during my pregnancies, I only got brave to look at it a couple of times. But, I think the scale might be a good friend to me for the rest of my life very soon. It will be a friend to help keep me honest and speak nothing but the truth.
I can't wait to begin the journey of being banded and I am soooo glad that this website exists, as you gals and guys are a huge wealth of knowledge and support for me. I know I don't know you all personally, but you help me out more than you will ever know! :thumbup:
I went in for my final meeting with the psychologist last Wednesday. The personality test was quite interesting. There was no real surprises to it...no underlying personality issues. He just said that I am an optimistic person who likes to look on the bright side of things...which is true. When he was reading off the personality analysis, it fit me to a T. He told me he would have his report written up this past weekend and sent in to the doctor's office early this week.
I am hoping that it is sent today so we can get everything submitted to the insurance company for approval asap. I have no idea how long it will take for approval with BCBS but hopefully it will be swift. How long did it take you to get approval? So ready for it!
I am so nervous and so excited. Words can't express how I am feeling. I ate a dinner roll at a wedding this past weekend and thought, "Wow! This tastes so good!" And, I won't be able to have that after my band gets filled to where it needs to be. And, that is okay with me. I am so willing to give up the foods that I need to give up in order to get me where I need to be. The band will just be my tool in helping me give up those foods (and portions!) that I need to.
My husband has been so incredible. I have no idea what I would do with out him in my journey. He gives me so much love and support and I am so happy to have him by my side throughout this. For a thin man, he does a great job of trying to understand what I go through on a normal basis. I have gained at least 50 pounds since I met him and I love that he is able to accept and love my curves at any size/weight. He is fantastic!
