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I Feel Like A Transforming "butterfly"

! I have been banded a little over two years and so much has happened on this journey! I have learned so much about this band, and I still continue to learn things about having a band. One of my newest experiences was about three weeks ago when I could not get anything to go down and every thing I put into my mouth was getting stuck. I did not know what in the world was going on because I had not gotten a fill in over nine months or maybe longer. I was always told that the band could not readjust itself, but that is so far from the truth from my own personal experiences. I was told the band is a little tighter earlier in the mornings and after lunch I should be able to eat well as long as it was chewed "well"! (not always so true for me)   Right before I started experiencing my stuck episodes- I had a really bad sinus infection and I wasn't aware how much post nasal drainage I was having. The drainage caused my esophagus to swell around my upper stomach where the band is connected. The more I tried to eat different foods and vomiting the more irritated and swollen my esophagus around my band area became. I lost a quick 20 pounds in two weeks before I really realized it. I was so focused on the daily stuck episodes and trying to figure out what was going on wrong with my band. Now someone may ask, "Why in the world I didn't see my WLS". Well he had moved 4 1/ hours away and I did not want to make that trip feeling so awful unless I had no other choice. Therefore, I scheduled an appointment with a gastroenterologist and he ordered labs for barium swallow. A day after the barium swallow everything had gone back to normal. Unknown to me all of the post nasal swelling had gone down and my band was back to its appropriate restriction level. If that's the correct way of saying it. I have also learned that a week before my "M" cycle my band appears to be more restricted until my cycle has ended. I have also identified that my band is also more restricted when my body feels stress! These things were something I had to learn due to my life experiences with living with my band. Each person's experiences with their band is not always going to be text book or similar to someone else. Each day I learn a little more about life with a "BAND"! Please know that every single day is not going to be the same. Each person will achieve a different level of success- but it does not mean someone else is a failure compared to others. It only means each banded person is a little different and unique! LOL (learn to work “your band”)   Each day I work so hard mentally, emotionally, and physically never to become that same person I left behind two years ago and counting……… I had walked three miles while watching Netflix last night before I had realized how long I had walked. I could not believe it! Two years ago- the old me would have pasted out within the first 15 minutes of walking. That was a big victory for me last night and I now understand how much my weight has held me back from a lot of things.   I remember me "then" but I focus on me "now"! I am down a total of 90 pounds and counting.      
shonette

shonette

4
 

It's Almost Been Two Years Since I Got My Band!

I know it's been a very long time since I have been on this site. In the past I would get on the site at least twice a day, but I slowly started to fade a little from visiting so often once my first year of being banded. I really do miss all of the wonderful post and comments people would write on this site. Actually, things have been very well with me. I have spent a lot of time helping my daughter out since she started her first year in college.   I am very proud to say that my weight continues to go down and I have not had any weight gain since the Christmas seasons passed. I do thank God for that. I have learned what do and do not work for my band. Certain foods had to be limited, and I have finally learned what my sweet spot is and what that actually means for me. I have not had a fill in over six months and nor do I need one. I finally have the tool I need to have long term weight success.   My weight lost has always been slow, but I continue to lose weight. I really don't and never have used the scale to measure my success, but inches and my clothes sizes are my biggest indicators. I started off wearing a size 24-26 and today I wear a 1x & 16-18. Most of the 18 sizes are too big in dresses so I normally get a 16w. That is a very- very big accomplishment for me. All and all I am very very happy with my band. This relationship has had its ups and downs, but the majority of my experiences have been very positive. The band is really what a person allows it to be for them. It really takes a lot of work and effort to get to where you really want to be.   My husband recently purchased a very expensive treadmill like the ones they have at the gym, and that has really aided my success. I try to walk a mile1/2 at least every other day. It takes only 25 minutes so I watch Netflix on my iphone which makes the time fly.   I really have to say that my family has been great and they really made this process so much easier to go through when times got hard. I will be banded 2 years on July 21st this year. I just encourage all new banders to be patient and give yourself time to learn your band and how it works best for your success!   I am going to make an honest effort to visit the site much more often than I have done in the past. This is truly a wonder site in which a person can gain a lot of knowledge, support, and motivation from others who have figured things out a little clearer than others.   My final words would be to stay encouraged, be patient, and never ever give up on your weight lost goals because you are worth it. Always remember that half the battle has been won if you have already gotten your band or started the process to have it done.
shonette

shonette

3
 

Small victories makes all the difference in the world

It's been 15 months since I was banded. Looking back over this entire process is somewhat of a fog. My feelings are totally different today than I remember them being initially. I was so very excited and I didn't know what to expect from the band or my “body”. I had joined this site almost a year before having my surgery so I was very familiar with the way some things were going to be. However, until you actually cross this bridge for yourself- no one else's experiences can compare to your own!   Learning to live with this band and how it's going to work for you is a total different story. There were a lot of trail and errors for me and it still continues to be some rough spots from day to day. My whole entire life, I have had issues with food. I have good restriction now, but I still have to monitor my desire to over eat. When I don't listen to my band, and I eat one bite too many -I do pay for it several hours later. I experience this awful pain that you just can't imagine. I can say- that I am learning to pay attention when enough is enough for me. Really, having this band is not a quick fix to anyone's weight lost problems, but it's an aid to make your weight lost more achievable and to feel full a lot quicker or more satisfied. The key to this band is not to fell full but satisfied. There is a lot of work on my part and self discipline with right food choices. It's very easy to fill up on high calorie foods (that goes down really easy) then wonder why you are not losing weight. Unfortunately, I have been there and done that as well. I think it's really helpful to let others know that bad choices are made with this band, but you can recover from them and still be successful with your weight lost. Yes, I am a slow loser and a lot of it is because of my own choices, but I have changed a lot. I have also lost a lot of weight as well!   I have learned to be accountable for my own actions and not blame everything in the blue sky for me being over weight. I've learned that working out is not a punishment, but being good to myself and overall all fitness! Most of all- I love all of the positive attention from other people. Since I am 6"1 people think I have lost a whole lot more weight than I actually have. Yes- I love the new me. I always remember why I did this and I remind myself that anything worth having is worth working toward!   My beginning size was 24-26 and today I can wear a size 16-18. Yesterday was my 9th wedding anniversary and my husband purchased me a pant suit from NY & Company size 16! I was tickled pink. I've always been embarrassed for my husband to buy clothes for me due to my size, but yesterday was a totally new and different feeling! Yes- I love it!    
shonette

shonette

7
 

What if someone knows you are banded?

I have been apart of this site since the end of 2009, and I have read hundreds of post/blogs with members concerns about other people finding out they have a LB! I really didn't know what approached I wanted to taken once I finally had my band. I first prayed and I thought about all the reasons I decided to get the band in the first place. God gave me confirmation not be ashamed of my decisions to live a happier and healthier life. I think most people on this site were in a life or death situation due to weight issues, and they needed help that they were unable to provide for themselves. After taking a wide overview of several members' reasons for not wanting someone else to know they were banded or getting banded was somewhat overwhelming to read. Most people feared others judging their decisions to get help to lose the weight. Okay, lets get real- if we were able to lose the weight and keep it off on our own then we would have done that. However, most of us are able to lose the weight but we have failed to keep the weight off on a long term basis.   I have decided in my life time to stop giving people control and credit to decide what is or isn't good for me. Most people who judge our decisions to do something pretty "major" about our weight issues don't have enough courage to confront their own "demons"! I don't care how prefect we may think someone's life is they still have underlined issues that they still need to deal with. I said all of that to say: we owe no one any excuses or explanations for why we decided to get the LB. Baby- I am proud of this little tool inside my body! That's exactly right: it's only a tool to aid and assist each of use with our weight lost goals! Work and a lot of effort must be done on our parts! The LB is not a quick fix card for all of your weight loses problems. Yes- it takes a lot of work and effort (mentally and some physical) to get the results you want.   I am very proud of my decision and I will never allow anyone to make me feel guilty or ashamed for having this surgery. To be prefect fully honest: people judged me fat and they judge me now but overall I am happier with the current me! To all of my fellow LB family, please be proud of your choices to live a happier/ healthier life. Just remember that "old person" who experienced so much hurt, pain, and challenges when you were heavier vs., you now. I love the new me and no person is going to ever change the way I feel. I tell them, "don't hate just congratulate my success"!
shonette

shonette

15
 

One year has pasted

I can not believe how time has quickly pasted by during my first year of being banded. My life has been in so many different transitional phases, but I honestly would not trade this place in my life for nothing in the world. It's like I had this other person locked up for years inside of me who was wanted to come out but she didn't know how. This new person feels so alive and sees life with a different insight on living and not just existing. For so many years, I've always made excuses for why my health and body was the way it was! Yes- I had several miscarriages that left me with serious health related issues, but I did not take care of myself the way I should have for several years. Finally, my health issues had gotten out of hand along with my weight. I thank God I wanted a means to live a better life and this band was just the tool to help me to achieve my weight lost goals. No- I have not met my finally weight lost goal but I have achieved more than I could have ever hoped or prayed for.   Looking back at some of my old pictures just makes me want to cry for that person. I pray to never be "her" again but to continue to live a healthier and happier life for myself and my family. I was not one of those people who lost a great deal of weight very quickly, but my weight lost came off in a more progressive process. I have learned not to find my victories with the scale but the inches I've lost and the new size(s) I now wear. A year ago I was wearing a size 24-26 and today I can wear size(s) 14-16 & a size large. Oooooh my God these are days I never thought I would ever never see again. For that I am very grateful and blessed to have my band which has helped me to become this person I so dearly love and respect. Yes- I am very proud of myself for all the hard work I have put into this weight lost process. I have spent late nights, early morning at the gym or in my bathroom working out. I have learned to take any and every opportunity to get a workout in. Like this morning I did 400 steps on my mini-stepper before going to work. I feel like a short workout is better than no workout at all, therefore I do what I can for as long as I can. I stopped wearing belts for the last seven years and I always worn my shirts outside of my clothes. Now I can wear any kind of belt and I love to accent my waistline every chance I get. OMG- I love the new "ME"!   I often read a lot of new comer’s blogs and how disappointed and frustrated they feel when they don't see the scale moving. Please stop stalking the scales and learn to find success in different areas. ex- how are your clothes fitting you and what other physical changes you can observe? Stop judging your progress off of others, because each and every person's body has a totally different way of working. Learn to love and appreciate who you are in every phase you may be in with your band.   Remember being too tight causes poor food choices, acid reflux issues, stuck episodes, sliming, and unhappiness! My main point is that your band is only a tool to aide you with your weight lost process, and you must do your part to ensure everything works as a whole. The band is not design to do the work for you but too aide you in this process to lose the weight.   Again, I really appreciate my LP family and all the love and encouragement I have received from day one.    
shonette

shonette

6
 

The amount of saline in your band don't always determine "good" weight lost!

Within the last couple of months, I was having a lot of problems with sliming/ everything getting stuck/ and feeling just down right awful! I tried to eat smaller bites and chew my foods very slowly and wait 30 seconds before my next bite of food. Well, nothing was working for me. I had some fluid taken out almost 4 months prior so I was so afraid of losing my restriction. Therefore, I continued to endure with the sliming and every single thing placed in my mouth getting stuck. I was getting so depressed because the band is a tool that befriends you in the weight lost process, but I was not getting that return from my band. Therefore, I knew I had to make some quick decisions because the constant throwing up was starting to effect my esophagus due the acid reflux I was experiencing. I went in last week and had some fluid removed from my band. I was brought down from 4.8cc to 4.2cc. I felt instant relief and yes- I am not as tight but that was my problem.   I did some research and when the band is implanted- there is only an opening about the size of an ink pen opening for foods and drink to travel through. That's why we are told to eat small bites of food and to drink fluids slowly to prevent things from getting stuck and to endure long periods of pain and suffering. Therefore, when the band is too tight it makes things that much more difficult to allow foods/drinks to go down properly. I still have decent restriction without all the uncomfortable drama (sliming/ throwing up/ acid reflux and pain)!   Therefore, I have learned it's not all about how much saline is in the band, but the ability to use the band as the tool it was designed to be. I am much happier with some fluid being removed than I was having the band tighter than it should have been. Also remember, when your band is too tight you will make poor food choices. That means eating slider foods that will cause weight gain and not weight lost. (just a little food for thougth)!   I am almost at my one year mark as of July 21st with only 4.2 ccs in my 10cc band. but my band is working as a friend and not a foe! I have a tendency to want everything to happen quickly, but slow and easy works better for me.   If anyone is experiencing a lot of sliming, throwing up, daily episodes of food and drinks getting stuck, you may consider having a little fluid removed and allowing your band a time period to heal from the entire trauma episode it's experienced.   I am starting to love and befriend my band all over again! I am definitely a work in progress. Thanks for listening and supporting me through it all. My wonderful band family!    
shonette

shonette

5
 

Did I make the best choice "Band vs. Sleeve"

On July 21st it will make a whole year since I had my band put in. Lately, I have second guessed my choice to have this band. I have had some many episodes of feeling that stuck feeling and throwing up a slimly substance because things are not going down properly. I have spoke with my doctor about these issues and several different reasons have been given for my episodes. No- I don't eat large bites of food at any given time, and I always take my time while eating. No- this is not happening all of the time, but yes- it's happening more than I would like for it to be happening. I feel like "my" band has a mind of its own. There are certain days I feel super tight and other days things feel just right. My doctor has explained that my band should always feel the same unless it's swollen and irritated by something I have done wrong.   Honestly, this band has so many rules and does & don'ts! I do thank God for my weight lost, but it has truly come with a price. I could have never understood this before actually going through a lot of different trials. Having this band is not an easy fix with losing weight. It really takes a lot of discipline and complying with a lot of different rules. On the flip side, my niece has the sleeve and she has none of these issues to deal with. She can only eat a smaller portion of food, but there are not all of the other restrictions Iike band patience do. I can deal with the smaller portions, but sometimes I feel just miserable and wishing my choices was different.   I do understand that with any weight lost procedure anything can go wrong, but sometimes I just want to feel normal during meal times. I really don't eat out with my family any more due to the awful things I experience while attempting to eat. (having to leave the table to spite up food that will not go down or have this crazy look on my face because I fee this awful pain in my upper chest area) Then I have days that I have no problems at all. I want to emphasize once more that small portions are not a problem, but to always worry about my meals and if I am going to be able to swallow what I am eat is. It’s the most difficult with my 6 year old son when these things are going on, because he now tell me “Mommie you should have never got that band”!   I feel like I've come too far to have every single thing taken out of my band, and honestly I only have 4cc in a 10cc band. My doctor wants to take everything out and for me to start all over again with my fills. I am almost at my 12 month mark and my fills will be no longer covered per my contract. My band is not even half full and in less than 17 days I will be a year banded. There are some things that I have found that really help me not to experience that stuck feeling in my throat/upper chest area. If I drink warm drinks throughout my day things have an easier time going down vs. me not drinking warm drink. I know breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but if I try to eat real food my day is shot from then on. Therefore, skipping breakfast or having a protein shake works a whole lot better for me.   I just want people to be aware that there maybe complications with this band and there is definitely no easy fix for losing weight. Each person has to figure out what works best for them and their band and continue to apply the principles of having a band. (Don’t mix food and drink- eat very, very slowly to prevent things from getting stuck- don't over eat to the point of throw food back up- don't over do the protein because it's bad on the kidneys "I learned that one the hard way"- exercise is your best friend if you want quick weight lost- learn to research things you have questions about or seek information from reliable sources) Following these steps have really helped me to get to the point where I am now with my weight lost.   I do realize this is a daily effort to keeping my weight off, but having these tools handy will really make things a lot easier to accomplish your goals.      
shonette

shonette

5
 

It's almsot been a year since my surgery!

It's so hard for me to believe that it's almost been a year since my lap band surgery. I can remember like yesterday anticipating what it would be like and how much weight I would actually loss with the band. I have never been happier with the way my life has changed since I had my band. I am wearing a strapless dress today that's focus on my waist area and the amazing thing it's a size 14. If anyone would have told me almost a year ago I could get myself into a size 14, I would have laughed endless and tell them they must be out of their mind. The entire way that I dress now is so much different than I ever could have imagined it to be. I am dress in much attractive clothes that shows off my figure. OMG- I never imagined me having a figure again. I had given up on the way my body uses to be, and I accepted that big girl look. Everything I wore in the past was oversized to cover up my huge butt and all the fat rolls in my stomach area. I have always tired to look very nice but buying clothes was a limited option.   Now I look the way my body uses to look over 14 years ago in almost everything I put on. This summer I am able to wear the cuties’ summer dresses and sleeveless shorts. I would never have shown my bare arms off in the past for nothing in the world.   People are always making little remarks to my husband about my weight lost and asking do he like the new me1 He just smiles and says I look really nice. Over all, this has been a very good decision that's definitely changed my life for the better. I feel like I am living the good life in many areas of my life.   I do love my band!!!!      
shonette

shonette

6
 

I feel like my weight lost is stagnate!

I want to start off by saying- I do thank God for all that he has allowed me to do, but I can't help but feel that things are at a stand still for me with losing weight. I work out faithfully at the gym. I have never been so committed to working out as I have within the last couple of months. People are constantly coming up to me saying how good I look and how very proud they are of me. I have learned to just smile and tell them how much I really appreciate their kind words of encouragement. Honestly, I do like to hear those encourageing comments from people, but I question who is this person they are talking about. I have even had people to come up to me that has not seen me in a very long time telling me how they didn't reconize me at first. I am thinking what in the world are your looking at because I am the same person.   I start to think to myself do I really look that different. I try really hard to see all the nice positive things being said to me, unfortunately I just don't see that person everyone else is talking about. Sometimes it's a mental struggle for me to be happy and proud of all these things I've accomplished but it's very hard for me to accept. One thing I am the most proud of is my mother deciding to join the YMCA through the silver sneaker program. Her medical insurance plan covers her membership and enrollment fees. She has beome so excited about her water aerboics because it takes the stress off of her joints which enables her to workout in the pool. It is so wonderful to see how much she is enjoying the workouts. I can really see how the inches are starting to come off. She is more moble and she is starting to regain her life back.   I just don't see myself being this new and improved person as others do. I can identify some changes from my clothing size but overall I do see myself as the same. I know inches come off before the actually weight dropps, but I need the scale to do it's thing.   Overall, my life is a lot better than it has been in a very long time.
shonette

shonette

4
 

Another unfill (throwing up and the onset of heartburn)!

Last week I was experiencing a lot of difficulty getting things down, and I started throwing up "a lot"! That was my warning sign that something was wrong, and I needed to see my doctor. I prayed to struggle through the weekend and I gave the office a call first thing Monday morning. Thank God, Dan the PA was able to see me that afternoon. I explained to him some of the things I had been experiencing with throwing up and that awful stuck feeling with almost everything I placed into my mouth. I was advised due to the throwing up and pressure of things getting stuck my band was swollen and very irritated due to the forceful trauma I was putting it through. He took out .2ccs and immediately I was given relief!   Every single person is different when it comes to their fills and the amount they are able to tolerate in their bands. I happen to be the type of person who’s not able to tolerate a lot of fluid in my band. I am 8 months post band and I only have a little less than 5 ccs in my band. I had my hernia repaired and in eight months I was free of zero signs of heartburn, but this week that weird feeling of heartburn has begun to linger in my upper chest area. That is very disappointing for me, and I feel like it's due to all the throwing up I experienced last week. My PA explained the acid from the throwing up cause’s damage in your esophagus which results in the feeling of heartburn.   I honestly thought heartburn was apart of my life I would not have to experience never again. Thank God- I did not throw away all of my acid reflux medication. My symptoms are nothing like I had before, but it's just the fact I have any heartburn symptoms at all.   I do thank God for things being as well as they are, but I just feel a little down hearted about the thought of experiencing heartburn in any way. So far so good- I have not had any more major throwing up episodes.   So many people on the outside think having any type of weight lost surgery is the easy way out, but OMG they don’t have any idea of the many ups and down we all go through.        
shonette

shonette

3
 

The sweet spot (not so sweet)!

For some bandsters this may sound like the silliest thing you have ever heard, but this is my story. I had a fill about 31/2 weeks ago, and I am finally at 5cc's in my band. I think I am very sensitive to fills because I have experienced 2 overfills in the past. This last time I was very careful to follow the post fill diet and eat small bites and chew very well. Ooooh okay, I could really tell my restriction was there but on a good day I could eat a decent meal. Well around the second week I could only eat maybe 4oz at a time. Don't get me wrong because I can hear someone saying- What's your problem? I really don't have a problem but the fat girl inside of me is unable to eat a third of my small meals. I find myself trying to constantly over eat. Honestly, I have prayed for this day and its here! I thought about asking my Doctor to take just a little out, but that is a crazy thing to do.   There are some days, I am only able to eat once per day and mentally I am having a hard time handling that! I have to be so careful about the first couple of food choices I eat because I may not be able to eat anything after that. Lately, my energy level is very low because of my low calorie intake. Yes, I do my vitamins but it's also hard for me to do my protein shakes due to feeling full so quickly. I do know some people will kill to be in my situation and Lord it's an experience like none I have ever gone through! From my last fill until now my fat mass has gone from 106 to 79 is that crazy or what.   My whole life my mother have always taught me to be careful for what I ask God for, because he just may give it too me! I am going to have to learn to have more self control and remember why I am doing all of this! Physically, I can eat one okay meal a day and not have a need for food for the rest of the day. However, my mind continues to tell me I need food when there is no actually hungry present. I feel like I am missing something but I know I everything is fine. The FAT girl in me is trying so hard to wreck my success! I have faith and will power to put her in check and keep this train moving.    
shonette

shonette

2
 

Fat mass went from 129 and currently 106- I kicked butt last month!

I just left my doctor's office this afternoon, and I could not wait to see what that little printout had to say. I lost a total of 12.2 pounds overall. Therefore, I averaged around 3 pounds per week. These are my numbers compared to my last adjustment on 1-18-2011:   1-18-2011 / 2-24-2011   BMI: 37.3 BMI: 35.7 Fat mass: 129 Fat mass: 106.21 weight: 282.61 weight: 270.41     I don't want to lose water weight. I want to lose body fat and gain muscles throughout this entire process. Nothing makes me happier than to see these numbers. It lets me know all of my hard work is not in vain and the fat is being replaced with muscles. God is so good to me and this is a long time dream becoming a reality to get off this weight and to keep it off. It's slow but it's coming off!
shonette

shonette

2
 

Juicing and going for an adjustment this afternoon.

Today I am scheduled to have another adjustment at 430pm. I have put off getting another adjustment for several reasons. I am really not sure first of all if I really need another adjustment. I have a difficult time as it is getting certain foods down. I rarely eat fruits like apples/oranges etc, because they always give me a stuck feeling which I hate more than anything. I love to eat all types of fruits and I really miss not having them in my diet. Therefore, I have started juicing to get my fruits into my daily diet within the last couple of weeks. I had a really nice Jack Lalnane power juicer a couple of years ago, but I had a house fire and it was never replaced. My mother is a gadget queen and she purchased a juiceman 2 yrs back which she stopped using once the thrill was gone. Therefore, she pasted her juicer on to me a couple of weeks ago and now I am able to enjoy all my fruits and raw veggies. I juice in the afternoon which give me a late day burst of energy which I really need after a long day. Last night I juiced (2) small apples, (4) carrots, (1) large orange, and (1) grapefruit that really got my digestive system moving. I felt so good this morning once I got up and moving.   Now when I find it difficult to digest certain foods I juice as my alternative to getting nutritional foods. I know this does not work for everyone, but it really gives me an incredible feeling of being full and it's good for my body. I do not drink things that don't taste good to me. I am learning that foods are to be enjoyed and I now only eat those things that I really enjoy eating. I am always searching the net for new and tasty juice recipes. If anyone has any I would really enjoy you sharing them with me!   Back to my fill- I really think another adjustment will boost my weight lost, but I dare don't want to be too tight like I have been in the past. I want my doctor to be very conservative today with my fill. I think just a little will put everything into motion. More than anything I am very excited to know what my fat mass is going to be today. My last fill was on 1-18-2011 and my fat mass was 129. I am so excited to find out what it will be today when I weigh in at the office.   Lately, so many people have been coming up to me complimenting me on my weight lost and asking how I've lost so much weight. My response is a very honest one (portion control and being more active)! I've learned not to mention my band any more because it leads into too many questions that I am tired of answering. I really don't see what they do, but I do thank God Change is taking place in my body.
shonette

shonette

1
 

Personal distractions

I have found myself feeling very unsure about a lot of things lately. My job, marriage, personal relationships, and my band have often been the center of my frustrations. I thank God every single day for having a good job to work at, but lately things are so over whelming with mess! I supervisor two departments with a total of 36 staff members, and they are all woman. Do I need to say any more! I hope this does not sound offensive to anyone, but woman are some of the most emotional creations God has created. They bring their personal issues with them to work ex. (sick kids, bills, relationship issues, and lord help me "their endless gossip"), and I have had enough of their endless nonsense. Every single day it seems to be one more endless issue with work related drama. I do understand it's all apart of my job but I am worn out daily with the constant counseling, investigating issues, and being a peace maker.   For some reason, I initially thought my marriage would get better once I started to lose the weight. But honestly, our issues are not weight related and our communication break down continues to be broken. Yes, I do love my husband, and yes he is capable of being a great man. However, he continues to put himself before his family and he really don't see why I am always frustrated and upset by his choices and decisions. The poor communication breakdown makes things that much worst between us. We have been together for over 16 years, but I feel like I am living in a time zone because things often remain the same between us. I have often visited the question (do I go or stay.) We have a 5 year old son who adores his father and my 18 yr daughter who now has a 7 month old son adores him too. My grandbaby is very attached to my husband so I will be viewed as the bad person, because I try really hard not to involve the kids in our issues. Its several things that I have settled with for years that’s not okay with me any more. Am I being the unfair person?   Several of my long time friendships have sort of drifted away due to the lack of communications we have. I often find myself so wrapped up in my family, church, and my job until it’s very little time in my day for anything else. So, slowly but surely my friendships have drifted away. I continue to have two close friends and I do make an effort t to nourish those relationships a lot more (as best as my free time will allow me to)!   I am nearly 7 months post band and I make every effort daily to follow the rules of my band, but sometimes I really don’t workout like I should or would like to workout. I try to be as active as possible daily, but I still feel like I should be doing more when I read about other’s success. I do know and understand that every single person is totally different, but sometimes I do question if I am doing my best. I have posted some recent pictures but I really feel like my body and weight lost should be more advance than it is. Sometimes I feel so good about my progress and other days I continue to see that fat person staring back at me in the mirror.   I really don’t know why I have been on an emotional roller coaster! For so many years I have always been the strong and supportive person for everyone around me, but sometimes I want and need someone to be those things for me. I do know that God will not put more on me than I can bear, therefore I will continue to lend on my faith and stop feeling sorry for poor (ME)!   This post may have been more information than I needed to share, but I do feel so much better to get some of this stuff off of my chest. Thanks for the listening ears.        
shonette

shonette

7
 

I met my pre-goal weight 50 pounds down!

Today I am sitting here at my desk at work thinking back over all the things I had to go through to get to this point in my weight lost. This has not been an easy road to travel, but I thank God every single day for the endurance to follow it through. My first initial visit with my surgeon seemed like yesterday! I was explained all the things I had to do in order for my insurance to approve my operation. I felt so doubtful once I left his office about having the surgery. I've learned to pray first to seek God's will for my life, and I knew something needed to change in my life. It was not the will of God for me to continue to be over weight and so very unhappy with the person I was. I asked God to give me the strength and the will power to do whatever it took for my insurance to approve my surgery. Once my appointments were made with the different offices, things started to roll by pretty quickly. The longest process for me was the six month weight lost requirement. I was really angry for some reason with the fact of being on another diet! I knew diets did not work for me on a long term basis, therefore I really thought it was a waste of my time.(LOL)   To be perfectly honest, I just wanted to be banded and start my new life. Looking back now, there were a lot of things I should have done differently and taken the advantage of but I didn't. One of the main steps in my pre-lap band process was my psych evaluation. I was told from the very beginning the hardest part in this process was going to be the mental aspect. Surely, I was mentally prepared to handle having the band and everything that came with it. Looking back now, I was not as prepared as I had convinced myself to be. I really learned a lot about my band the hard way. I had to learn a lot of different things by trail and error.   I would read so many blogs and hear others say to listen to your band. I really had no idea what they were talking about, but thank God today it has all made sense to me. Having this band for me is a day to day learning experience on what I should or should not do. I am finally to a point that food is not controlling my life, and I can say no to food and be okay with that. I have learned to eat only what I need and it's okay to save or trash the rest. I no longer feel obligated to eat every single thing that is placed on my plate nor do I feel like dessert is always eaten after a meal. My quality of life has changed so much in many ways. I do know that I have to finish this race at my own pace and continue to be focused on my food choices. This is really a life style change and there are no quick fixes to losing the weight. Today I am very proud of what I have accomplished. I have never lost 50 pounds in my entire life, but today I have done just that.   Hooray for ME!    
shonette

shonette

5
 

My fat mass has decreased (151) to (129) and the scale did move!

I went to my doctor yesterday for another fill. The last time I was seen by my doctor over a month ago, I had some fluid removed due to being too tight. I now have a great fear of being too tight due to some of the unpleasant things I experienced. If any one has ever been too tight, that is one feeling you will never want o experience again. Therefore, I am very careful to monitor how tight I feel during my fills. I rather get a little less than too much. I have realized that being too tight is just as bad if not worst as being too loose. I currently have 4.85 cc's of fluid in my band. I probably could have gotten a little bit more, but I did not want to run the risk of being too tight. I have more restriction than before my fill yesterday. Overall, I am very pleased with that. I was also very pleased with my fat mass going down. Before my surgery, my fat mass was 151. ( ) and now it's 129. ( ). I was very happy to see that my body is losing a lot of inches. On my last visit over a month ago my fat mass was 133 and yesterday it was 129. For some people that is no big deal, but any time I have numbers going down instead of increasing it’s a very big deal for me.   I now know that all of my efforts have not been in vain. I use my electric stepper several times a week, and my kettle bell on alternate times. Overall, I eat the foods I should and my water intake has increased. I do know my weight is coming off, but time plays a lot into my overall weight lost. This site has a lot of wonderful people who take the time to share their advice on how they handle different situations and just the love and support is amazing. Today I wore a pant suit that almost fell to the ground when I put on the pants. I was not expecting that to happen. Everything I think nothing is happening, I can find the small accomplishments and compare them toward my overall success. My clothing seize has gone from a 26 to 18. I do feel pretty good about my weight lost and all the hard work that has gone into it. This band is not a quick fix, but each person has to be willing to put their time and efforts to make it work for them. I thank God every single day for this opportunity to be healthier mentally, and physically as well. I have learned that the scale does not determine my overall weight lost success!!!   I do have one big dilemma: I was taking a prescribed diet pill during my six month diet period pre-band. I now have considered getting one more prescription filled to aid my weight lost. I really don’t know if this would be the right thing for me to do. This was one of the reasons I wanted this band was too due away with diet pills etc……….   Your opinion (s) would be greatly appreciated!          
shonette

shonette

3
 

The scales are not moving for me!

I really don't understand why the scales are not moving for me. I try really hard to follow all of the lap band rules that I have been given and those that I have researched. I have limited the amount of sugar that I eat or drink. I eat very little sugar in my diet and the majority of things I drink are almost always sugar free. I eat small portions of food and I target eating my protein first. I try to work out at least 3-4 times weekly if not more. I can honestly say that my workout times are not long but they are within 3o minute periods. I may do some in the morning before work; I finish up that afternoon before bed. I try to get as much walking in at my job as possible daily. I work at a retirement facility, and I make rounds in the building as much as possible to get more walking in. I get a good bit of exercise daily even on my job.   I have pretty good restriction but it maybe time for another fill. A couple of weeks prior I had some fluid removed because I was too tight, and I was unable to eat very little to no meats. There are still some foods that I am still unable to eat like apples and sometimes certain meats. Therefore, I was debating if getting a fill at this time was a good idea. I try really hard to stay clear of high calorie foods that go down easily. I just choice my foods carefully that are still high in protein, and I do eat slowly to avoid the stuck feeling in my chest. That is a very unpleasant thing to experience.   In spite of the scales not moving, on a good note my clothes sizes continue to go down. When I first had my surgery, I was wearing a size 24-26 plus, but now I wear 18-20 clothes. Yesterday was my birthday and I wore a clinging red and black dress size 18 and it fitted me perfectly. I felt wonderful yesterday wearing that dress.   If there is any advice anyone can offer to assist with the scales not moving for me, I would be more than please to hear it.          
shonette

shonette

11
 

The difference between having good restriction and your band being too tight!

Well it appears that me and my band have under gone several changes since it's been put in. I made a last minute appointment this past Tuesday to get another fill or adjustment. When I started explaining to the PA about some of the things I was experiencing, he determined that my band was a little too tight. You can only imagine that was not what I wanted to hear. I really had not lost any weight since my last adjustment and I was having a very difficult time eating meats. We all know that our protein is one of the most important things we need to eat on a daily basis. However, I had started to make poor food choices to compensate for not being able to eat meat. I was eating more carbs which I really did not need to be doing. They were things that did not provide me with the appropriate nutritional value I needed daily. My meal time was becoming a time that I really hated due to the pain and discomfort I experienced. There are still some foods I continue to stay clear of but thank God meat isn't one of them. Within hours I could really see a difference when I ate meat. I am still learning to listen to my band. I would hear others make that statement so many times before, but slowly a lot of things make more sense to me. When something doesn't feel right it's always a very good idea to discuss those things with your doctor. This band is a tool and we have to make sure our tool is working properly in order to get the maximum return with our weight lost. I go back on the 28th of December and maybe my system have re-adjusted and I can have a little more added in my band!   It's crazy for me to say this, but weekly even though the scales are not moving I continue to see changes in my clothes. I am still very happy that I have my band, because it has really made a positive change in my life. I have learned that having the band isn't a quick fix, but a slow and continuous process to work the band toward my weight lost goal! I still have pretty good restriction, but a little more will be even better.    
shonette

shonette

5
 

I don't want to look like the Chick-fil-A cow riding a motorcycle

My husband asked me yesterday if I would like to ride his bike with him on 12-15-10 to give out toys for Toys for tots. I felt really honored :blushing:that he wanted me to ride with him to give out the toys for the children. Every since he asked me I have started to become really paranoid about doing it. I really have not lost the weight I would have wanted to loose, but I have lost a good bite. I don't want to look like the Chick-fil-a cow on the back of a motorcycle:ohmy:. He asked was I okay with my weight lost if so he wanted me to ride with him. My husband has never been the type of man who was embarrassed of me being a larger size woman, but I know he always wanted me to be smaller. Now I have started to become very self-conscious about the way I will look riding with him. I have never had much of an appetite lately but today I've been extremely hungry. I know a lot of what am experiencing is my nerves, because I have never done anything like this before. For most people they would not understand what the big deal is to ride on a motorcycle with your husband. For an over weight wife it's a very big deal because I have never really ridden on the back of a motorcycle, and to ride in an event like toys for tots. I really don't want to agree to do this with my husband and back out at the last moment, and he may never ask me to ride with him again. I just need a little help and support with this one. :smile2:
shonette

shonette

6
 

Going for my third fill!

Over three weeks ago I had my second fill. It ended up being an over fill. I later found out some of it could have been my fault due to not following the outlined diet as ordered. My normal fills are already covered for a year, but I received a bill a couple of days ago for the extra appointment to have some of the saline taken out due to the overfill. I pray my insurance will cover 90% which will leave me only owing $35.00. My God that one visit was expensive and it only took him less than 5 minutes to remove the 1cc that was causing me all that trouble. How be ever (it this is considered an appropriate phase) I really pray my doctor will do another fill today. He assured me my past experience would have no deciding factor on my future fills. Oh well I will see this afternoon when I get there. I really do need a little more restriction. I will follow my diet to the "T" this time, because I want to be successful with my band. I was told never to eat two hours before or after a fill. Today am soooooooo hungry which seems that way every single time I have gotten a fill. As I type this post, my stomach is making all kinds of noise so I really need to put some real food in my stomach before my fill. I need to have my morning protein shake which I am late drinking and an early lunch today. I have been walking 4-5 miles weekly. I know that is not a lot but it's an effort for me due to my very busy and demanding life. I have a five year old son, two month old grand baby:wub: (boy) and a seventeen year old daughter and a husband. I am trying to make sure she remains focused and move beyond her bad choices so her son can have the kind of life he deserves! Her senior year is very demanding and she has to work. Therefore, I have to keep the baby those days she is working. My son is now in constant competition with the baby which keeps my hands full! I really want to do some type of work out daily, but I don't always get the opportunity to do so. My scale is not moving a whole lot but my clothes fit so much looser and some are too big. I am trying to judge my success by the way my clothes are fitting me and not just based on the numbers by the scale. I do thank God I have not gained any weight. I will post how things went with my third fill. I pray I get a fill. I am so very thankful to be able to have my band. It really has been my saving grace!:smile:
shonette

shonette

4
 

The fight never ends!!!!!

I was banded on July 21, 2010, and my doctor required that all fees that were not covered by my insurance must be paid in full before my procedure was done. Therefore, I was required to pay out of pocket $2,200.00. Therefore, I would not owe anything once my surgery was done. "So not true"! Since a month ago, I've been getting bill statements from my doctor's office stating I owe a remaining balance of $1,521.62. I though surely some type of error on someone's part had been made, because I had paid every single penny I was told had to be paid in full. I called my insurance company to see what was going on and I was told that my doctor's office was billing under a different tax ID # that what was showing up on his billing invoices. Therefore, I thought this was a simple mistake that could be easily taken care of. Well, it's been a whole month later and I am still getting the run around from my doctor's office manager. As of this morning, I was told my $500 deductible was not paid which is a lot of bull! :ohmy: I have a copy of my deductible showing as paid on my billing statement which came from my doctor's office. I feel like I am getting the run around from Dr. McCowan's office. I do know that I am not going to pay a penny more for anything relating to my surgery. This entire process is becoming very stressful and the office manager Ronda is really getting on my last nerve. She doesn’t return phone calls and I have to constantly run her down. She is really becoming a thorn in my side!!!! I just want to focus on losing weight and changing my life style around my band. :smile:
shonette

shonette

6
 

Over fill- 5 days of hell

I had my second fill on last Thursday, and I was experiencing some difficulty swallowing liquids and foods. I thought maybe it was from eating something that I should've eaten based on my fill diet. Maybe that had apart to play in my stomach becoming too irrigated to tolerate any foods or liquids going down. However, I was always told liquids should always go do. Well, that was not the case for me. By Friday morning, anything I put in my mouth was not going down no matter what I did. This was the very first time I have ever had to vomit since my surgery. The next few things I am about to say may sound a little nasty but this was my experience. There was foamy/slimy substance coming up due to things not pasting through my esophagus. I had the worst pain in the center of my chest that you just could not imagine. I continued to say to myself things were going to get better. I started to go to the ER on several occasions, but I did not want the long wait or the ER bill. I prayed for Monday to come like never before. I can not remember being that miserable in a very long time. Nothing I did seemed to make my situation better. My every focus was on how to get some fluids down without all of the awful chest pains. It would take me about 3 hours to slip on a 16 oz bottle of water praying it was not going to come back in with all of the foamy/slimy action going on. Thank God Monday morning came and I called my doctor's office first thing that morning. I was first told to continue to slip water and come in on Tuesday morning at 9am. I told her to let my doctor know he would be coming to meet me in the ER sometime that day. I could not take it any longer. Soon after our conversation I received a phone call stating he would meet me ASAP. I went to the center and he asked if I had eaten anything outside of his fill diet and I stated yes. He explained that could have caused my system to swell and increase more swelling to the band area. He took only 1cc out of my band and instantly I could feel my insides changing. I felt like a brand new person. Today am able to drink and eat just fine. I want good restriction, but being too tight is the worst thing in the world for any band person to experience. I still feel like I have pretty good restriction with the 3cc in my band.
shonette

shonette

9
 

It is true- " My doctor knows best"!

Today I had my second fill of two more cc in my band. I now have a total of 4ccs in a 10cc standard band. I was given a four day diet to follow by my doctor to allow my stomach to adjust to my new fill. Keep in mind- I had not eaten due to following the rules not to eat anything 2 hours before my fill. Well, if you could imagine I was starving and my stomach had been talking all mooring long. When I returned to work, I decided for lunch to eat outside of his 4 day diet plan and have about 3oz of cream soup and two bites of boil lemon pepper fish. Ooooooh my God my stomach started hurting like never before. :eek:I felt for a brief moment I would need some medical attention. It was very difficult for me to walk back to my office. I was praying for God to please forgive me for my hard headedness. It was like I had swallowed a rock. :scared2:I had never ever experienced that kind of pain with food before since my band, and I really never want to experience it again. I will follow that diet like he prescribed for the next four days. I am starting to feel a little better, but now it's just like I've over eaten terribly. I guess from that experience I have pretty good restriction with my new fill. From this point forward I will listen to my doctor!!!!! (DIET) Fill day: n/a breakfast/ no lunch/ cream soup dinner Friday: protein shake/ cream soup lunch/ regular soup dinner Saturday: protein shake/ regular soup lunch / soft food dinner Sunday: protein shake/ soft food lunch/ regular food dinner
shonette

shonette

8
 

It's Okay to Acknowledge change

This weight lost journey is very new to me. I have failed miserably for years trying to lose weight. Therefore, it's not easy for me to accept the positive comments people are saying to me about the weight I have lost. I still look into the mirror, and I see a little difference. I still think to myself "it's not all that much of a difference"! The scale is really not moving fast, but I think it's mostly inches that are coming off. I do admit my clothes are very loose and a couple of things I can't even wear any more. I do know that is a good thing, but it is still very hard to see that thinner me. I look into the mirror and I still see all those fat rolls, humps, and fat in areas I don't want it to be in. I don't want to get the "big head” as some people often say to me, but I am proud of the changes I have made. At times I want his weight to come off over night, but I know that isn't going to happen and it would be healthy if it did. When a person has spent so much of their life being over weight, you just want to experience a different side of life. This whole process is more mental than I ever anticipated it to be. I realize that food has different meaning to me for different reasons. It is a comforter, it gives me pleasure, it occupy me when I am bored, and most of all it can't tell me no. For all those reasons food has to be redefined with a different purpose and need in my life. I am a work in progress! This site is so wonderful to have in my life. Thanks to all those wonderful and inspiring people that let me know I can do this.
shonette

shonette

7
 

Learning to appreciate who I am in my "Own Skin" !

This morning I was getting dress for work, and I looked at myself in the mirror! For the first time in years I was somewhat pleasantly surprised at the person I saw! This person has a nice glow about herself than ever before.(me) I have spent some much of my life doing everything for everyone else, and I never took time out to do anything for myself. I am normally racing around my house cleaning up after everyone, cooking, washing, assisting with homework, and being "Grammie"! Yes, I am a grandmother to a one month old little boy! He was born 3 days after my surgery! Therefore, I had very little to no healing time after my surgery. He is soooooo wonderful and I love him to no end! However; being there for my daughter and her baby is a lot to juggle. I also have my finally appointment with my casework today to complete the process to becoming a foster parent. I sometimes feel like I am going to lose my sense of being. I do know God isn't going to place any more on me than I can handle. My plate is very full at times, but it was the way I've always defined who I was in this world. I now know I can take care of myself in the process. I now know I am so much more than that person who provides and takes care of everyone else's needs. I am learning to take some time out of my day to take care of myself. I work out at the YMCA at least 3-4 a week for at least 1 1/2 at night. This gives me the time I need to relax and reflect on myself. Being me isn’t so bad after all!:wub:
shonette

shonette

5
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