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Long time, no journal

I hadn't realized that it had been so long since I've updated my journal. Well, there really hasn't been all that much going on. I just got another fill two days ago. I think this was my 6th. and I forgot to ask Dr. Jay what level I'm at. Oh, well. I'll try to remember to ask next time. I'm sneaking up on 100 lbs. lost. Since I have to be on liquids for the next 4 days, I may make it. That is if I can keep myself from cheating too much. I've pretty much stopped going to Curves. Maybe I'll pop in there from time to time if I'm bored, but not regularly. As soon as my contract is up, I'm not renewing. Its a nice starter gym, but I think I'm ready for something else. Maybe after I'm no longer paying Curves monthly, I'll look into getting a treadmill or an ellipitcal. I do an elliptical at the rec. center near my work (its free). I like it. That's all the news I have.
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Still a sloth...

Why can't I make my lazy butt go to the gym? I don't know. I'm tired of thinking about it. It is hard to find the time what with my 3 jobs, errands and such. I could if I really tried, but it just seems like too much effort. Like I said, I'm a sloth. Another week gone, another 5 lbs. gone. I'm about 12 lbs. away from achieving my 3rd. goal. I hope my dress is still on sale. Unless my restriction tightens up real soon, I'm going to schedule another fill for the first part of December.
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Liquids Day 5

Not much to report today. I am definitely sick of the Jello. I think I must be going through Chick-fil-a withdrawal or something. My stomach has felt out of whack all day. Mild nausea (especially when I had some Jello:rolleyes: ) and it feels kind of crampy. Nothing bad, just uncomfortable. I'll be so, so glad when I graduate to mushies. I'm going up to airport tomorrow to pick up my nursemaid for the week after surgery. My aunt is coming in for a whole week. I hope it is entirely unnecessary.
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Liquids Day 6

I've quit eating the jello entirely. I've switched to popsicles instead. Yummy. Of course if I had alternated from the beginning I might not have gotten so sick of the jello.   My aunt arrived this morning. She is the most horrible person in the world!!!! She brought DIVINITY with her for my mom. That is just cruel. Divinity is THE best candy in the world and extremely hard to make. Which is why my mom & I never try to make it. The last time I think we screwed up 3 batches before we got it right. Mom & my aunt keep eating pieces and telling me how bad it is. Yeah right, I am so sure. (in my head that came out in a "valleygirl" voice. Which I do very well). Then they went out to eat, I stayed home. That's ok, they went to an Italian place that I dont' really care for.   Well, my surgery is the day after tomorrow. I'm trying not to think about it too much. I'm a pessimist and slightly paranoid, if I think about it too much then I'll just think about everything that could go wrong. I'm trying hard to hang on to my happy thoughts.
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Not so sloth-y...

I just got back from the gym. I made myself get up and put on my workout clothes. Then I drove straight to the gym. I've gotten some great support & encouragement here the last few days. Losingjustme, MoOrLess, & Teresita: thanks so much. Y'all really helped. A round of :clap2: for y'all.   I've got some current measurements to post today too. The red is total shrinkage since my surgery. Bust 48in -4 Waist 46in -5 Abdomen 51in -4 Hips 47.5in -5.5 Thighs 27.5in -3 Arms 15.5in -4 BodyFat 41.2% -3.3%
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1 whole week post-op

The soreness is almost completely gone, although I still don't feel comfortable sleeping on my side. Instead I barricade myself with pillows so that I don't turn over.   I am so sick of liquids and according to Dr. J's post-op diet I still have a week to go. At least now I can have smoothies and shakes to break the monotony. Yesterday though, all I could think about was Pizza Hut. I had a recurring fantasy of ordering a pan crust Pepperoni Lovers and breadsticks. I didn't do it, but man I sure thought about it. But this morning I weighed myself. Down 23 pounds. :Banane10: (I don't get why there is a 2 on that trophy?) I'm so happy about that. I'm even almost to my first mini-goal. ipod, come to mama.
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I'M IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:welcomeB: :bounce: :first: :first: :wow2: :wow2::cocktail: :humble: :humble: :humble: :humble: :humble: :thumb: :thumb: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :D I GOT INTO ONE-DERLAND!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY, I MADE IT!!!!!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!!! :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :P :peace: :peace: :peace: :whoo: :whoo: :whoo: :whoo: :whoo: :Banane10: :rofl: :rofl: :huggie: :rofl::scales: :rofl: Thanks to my band, I've learned... that blueberry NutriGrain bars are really good. They make a great breakfast & defend against fast food if they live in my purse.
to never go shopping with my mother. I wind up spending too much money.
that when my left shoulder joint starts hurting, I should stop eating.
that the scale will continue moving in the right direction, as long as I don't give up.
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My 1st. fill

FIRST FILL 9-20-06 Today has just been the best day. I got 5 new books in the mail from Amazon, I got a fill of 5 c.c. and I got a job that pays a multiple of $5 an hour. My life just doesn't get any better than this. Isn't that kinda sad? Whatever. Let's talk about my fill, shall we? First off, nothing but water from midnight. My doc (who I actually met. It was about time!) did the fill with fluoroscopy. Basically it is a type of xray. (or at least that's what I say, someone who knows what they're talking about might say something else.) I laid down on the table and they positioned a big hunk of machinery over me. The fluoro camera I presume. Then I looked at this little TV screen and there was my port. It was so cute! (o.k. I'm a little weird, sorry.) The nurse swabbed around my port site with alcohol. Then the doc said he was going to inject something to numb the site and he said it might hurt a little. LIAR! It didn't hurt at all. I barely felt it, I've been hurt worse giving blood. Heck, I've been hurt worse stubbing my toe. Then he started feeling for my port. Which also was cool, because I could see his finger bones on the fluoro screen. When he injected the saline, I started laughing. I swear it tickled! The doc probably thought I was off my rocker but that's ok. Let's just hope that my ticker now resumes its journey to the right.
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weekly & challenge update

I made it to the gym again last week. Just once. I have a weird work schedule since I am a substitute teacher. The days when I have a job, I'm too tired to go after school. The days when I don't have a job, I'm too depressed. I just can't get myself together lately. :think I have my gym bag packed and ready in the car, so maybe I can trick myself into going. And here is my challenge ticker. I've only got 4 weeks left. It probably isn't going to happen. I'm not trying to be pessimistic here, just realistic. Anyway, I'll be happy if I can get down to 210. I have a 4th. fill scheduled for December 13 (my lucky day).
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liquids day 2

Yippee!!:clap2: I made it through another day. My tummy actually "rumbled" today. I'm a boredom and "hey, it's there" kind of eater, so that hasn't happened in the longest time. It is DIET CENTRAL in my house, since I usually do the cooking. I told my mom that I could be bribed to cook her a hamburger. She said "no, I think that would be too much like cruel & unusual punishment for you." She was right. We went to the grocery store today. Which was a whole other kind of torture, it being "sample day". I stocked up on Jell-O (which I've decided is really good), popsicles, apple & peach juice, flavored water and powder flavoring.   Breakfast: apple juice Lunch: Slimfast Supper: Slimfast Snacks: 2 jello endless cups of ice water
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photos

Today is the two month anniversary of my surgery. In honor of that, I had some more photos taken. I'm wearing the same outfit as last time, except that my jeans are now a size 22.  
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Measurements

My measurements as of 7-29-06 (day 2 pre-op liquids). Calf: 17.5 inches Thigh: 26.5 inches Hips: 55.4 inches Waist: 51 inches Bust: 53 inches Bicep: 17 inches   My before pictures as of 7-28-06 (day 1 pre-op liquids). I think the photos are fairly self-explanatory. My jeans and top are size 24 (edging into a size 26). I also wear 3x.
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Liquids Day 4

Wow, I'm over half way there! The jell-o is good, but I'm starting to get extremely sick of it. I tried some beef broth today just for a change of pace. I decided it wasn't worth eating. It was better than the chicken broth. I guess I'm just not a fan of broth. I've never really been a soup person either. I think Spaghettios was as close I've ever gotten. I can't believe how much I am looking forward to mushies. :hungry: Gimmee some of those grits!!   Okay I deviated from the "doctor-approved" liquid diet today.:phanvan I don't think it was a big bad though. It was watermelon. All told I probably had about 2 cups. Watermelon is mostly water anyway, so I'm hoping that doesn't really count as cheating. My mom grew it herself in her garden and she was just so proud of herself. I couldn't turn it down.   I'm not going to post what I ate (loosely speaking) today. If you want to know, scroll back through the past three days.
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weekly update

Man, I almost forgot that it was Friday. I've been thinking it was Thursday all day today. I'm such a doofball. I got my 3rd. fill on Wednesday. Arlene (the nurse) and Dr. Jay were there. Arlene actually did the fill, Dr. Jay just stood there and supervised. Which I thought was kind of odd, she did my 2nd. fill without him there. Why would he have to be there this time? I got another c.c. which puts me at a total of 8. I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed that this one does the trick. So far I've been tightest in the morning but not to a great degree. Afternoons and evening have always been when I'm tempted to eat the most and I haven't had enough restriction to really curb that tendency. My eating habits are getting better though. I haven't had any soda at all since before my surgery. I used to be a major Diet Pepsi & Mountain Dew addict. I've also laid off the potato chips, another major weakness of mine. I'm still working on not eating meals in the car. I buy snack bars, like NutriGrain blueberry and GoTarts. They fit great in my purse and help keep me away from the Chick-fil-a and Wendy's drive thru lanes. Although I do still go to Chick-fil-a, just can't give that up. I bring it home and eat at the table and I don't get the fries at all. All in all, I think I'm making good progress. I'm getting closer to my third mini-goal and I may even make my Jan. 1 challenge.
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3 weeks

It's Friday again. Sadly, my ticker remains the same as last week. On the bright side, I haven't gained anything. My yo-yo is still on its way down, just slower. At least I know what caused the stall and I've corrected my course. I wasn't exercising nearly enough (at all:o.) So now that I've got my ipod I have begun walking. Since it is mind-numbingly hot here, I wait until the sun sets and then I grab my ipod and walk around the neighborhood. (wow, talk about a run-on sentence. Sorry) It's fairly nice then, I can reassure myself that it is dark enough that people can't see from their houses. Which means that they can't point & laugh, which I'm sure they would be doing if it was light out. Did I mention my paranoid tendencies? Anyway from now on, I AM GOING TO WALK EVERY NIGHT!!   I have an appt. with Dr. Jay next Wednesday. Hey, maybe I'll actually get to meet him this time. Wouldn't that be something. That'll be 4 1/2 weeks, so I'm hoping I'll be able to get a fill. Probably not, but it sure would be nice. Right now the only thing that is keeping me from scarfing down Pizza Hut & Chick-fil-a is me. And we all know how well that has turned out.   Peace out.
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ticker going the wrong way!

It is time for another weekly update. I'm so mad at myself for this week.:mad: Somehow I've managed to gain back 5-6 lbs.:think I don't even know what happened, this whole week has just been kind of a blur. I've scheduled another fill for next week. That'll be three weeks after my first fill. I really hope this one gives me some great restriction. I have to be back on liquids for a week afterwards. That should get me back on track for my January 1 goal. I really want to make it to One-derland by January.   I also just found out that my dad is planning to bring my grandmother to visit for Thanksgiving. :help: Now, don't get me wrong, I love my grandmother. But she drives me crazy. She'll tell me how much she worries about me and how I'd be so pretty if I'd just lose weight. Oh but that isn't the worst! Usually about 5 minutes after she reminds me that I'm fat (you know like I forgot) she'll ask me if I want anything to eat. Does that make sense to anyone? 'Cuz it sure don't to me. So I want to lose as much as possible before Granny hits town. She doesn't know I have the band and I have no intention of letting her know. She'd just over-react and give me a headache.   I know my reward for losing 75 lbs. is to buy a bicycle. I'm thinking of changing that. I may just go ahead and buy one now. It might help get going in the right direction again. I used to love to ride my bike when I was a kid. It would certainly help on the days when I can't manage to get to the gym. There is a bike store right by my work, I think I'll stop in there on Saturday. I've gotta do something. I won't be able to stand myself if I start yoyo-ing up again. :help:
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Goals NOT resolutions!

My goal for this year:   1. Make it to my goal weight before I turn 30 (which happens in Dec.). 2. Ride my bike to work (12 miles.)   For this month, 1. Lose the 10 lbs. that separate me from One-derland. 2. Workout 3x a week     I just went clothes shopping. I only bought three pairs of pants: Jeans, excercise sweats and work pants. I've gone down two sizes in the jeans from a 22 to an 18. The other two pairs are actually a 14/16 and a large. They're just pull-on types, slightly too tight. I bought them that way on purpose so I could have the fun of seeing them loosen up. For the first time in my many efforts to lose weight, I really believe that they will loosen up. That right there is a major victory.  
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ok, better now.

Okay, y'all sorry about that. Just had to get that little rant out of my system. Of course, I realize that all the border guards are me. It's all my fault that I'm not there yet. I choose to believe that I'm gaining muscle. (Mom calls that kind of thing "magical thinking." I say, "who couldn't use a little magic in their life?") I guess I'll just have to go under the fence. Or is it over? Does it really matter? Either way, I'm going. Even if I have to put myself on liquids for a day or two. I don't care, I'm going to be under 200 by this time next week. If I'm not, I won't read a book for a week!!!! (This is major y'all, cause I'd almost rather read than breathe. Although the less I breathe, the harder it gets to read.:mad: ) Well I thought I was done ranting. Guess there was a little bit of rant left over. Sorry. :rolleyes   Anyway, we now rejoin our regularly scheduled journal entry, already in progress......   So I got weighed & measured at Curves again. It seems like the 14th. comes sooner and sooner every month. Here they are: ........................Last Month......................current Bust..................46.50 in...........................46 in. Waist...............43.50 in. .........................42 in. Abdomen.........47.50 in. .........................47.25 in. Hips.................47 in. ...............................45 in. Thighs..............52 in. ...............................52 in. Arms................30 in. ................................29 in. Body Fat ........39.9% ..............................38.3%
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Liquids Day 6

Well this was my last day of clear liquids only. :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: Yippee!!! I can't believe I made without cheating. Unless you count the watermelon which I don't. 12 hours from now I'll be on my way to the surgery center. Yikes.   The anesthesiologist called earlier to go over pre-op instructions. She also asked for the name and cell number of the person who was going to be driving me. And here are my instructions: nothing to eat or drink after midnight
drink two full glasses of water after supper
don't wear any jewelry, contacts or hair accessories
wear comfortable clothing
arrive an hour prior
bring method of payment This is the diet I am allowed to have post-op:   DAYS 1-14 AFTER SURGERY   In addition to the clear liquids, you may have the following: Milkshakes Protein Shakes Smoothies V8 juice Tomato soup Cream soups
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I'm home from surgery

I'm home. I'm still tired from the anasthesia so excuse my spelling. I nap for 55 minutes in a recliner and walk for 5. I have some pain but not too bad. Shoulder & back.   I'm going to go take another nap now. I'm doing okay, thanks for all the good thoughts. More later.
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1st. follow-up visit

I had my follow-up visit today. Not much to report. I was weighed, according to the doctor's scale I am 245, fully dressed except for shoes. Which still doesn't agree with my scale. Mine says 246 when I'm wearing just a t-shirt. I met with Arlene (the R.N.) she looked at my incisions. She said they looked "wonderful." I think Arlene may need to get a life . She also advised me to begin taking a chewable vitamin and recommended Flintstones for kids. I scheduled my first fill for September 20th. Now could someone please tell me that it doesn't hurt?   Oh and I still haven't met Dr. Jayaseelan. I'm kinda curious as to how long I can go without actually meeting him. I wonder if he was even there?
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Back on REAL food!

Today was my first day back on real food. For lunch I had a Chick-fil-a sandwich (no pickles) and a small order of fries. I ate very slowly and tried to concentrate on chewing very well. It took me about 45 minutes to finish and now I feel FULL. This is awesome!!!! Before my band, I would go to Chick-fil-a and get a sandwich, large fries and a 12 pack of nuggets. The nuggets I would eat in the car on the way home. When I got home I'd inhale the rest in about 5 minutes. This is so much better.   Since my fill isn't until Sept.20, I'm really worried that I'll have to make my ticker go to the left. I'll be happy if it just stays right where it is until my fill. Of course I wouldn't mind if it continued on its merry way to the right.   I have come up with a strategy to combat the fact that I can now eat real food. This past week I have been faithfully walking every evening. I go around my neighborhood and the distance is roughly (measured with my car) 1.2 miles. I walk this in 33 minutes on average. Tonight AND FROM NOW ON I am going to extend my route. My neighborhood is vaguely shaped like a E. I live in the middle of the top. I go down the vertical, along the bottom, turn around, go along the middle both ways and then back up and over to my house. Tonight I'm going to do all that, except when I get to my house I'm going to keep going. I'll walk outside the E from the top all the way to the bottom and then walk the E again. That should make my route (for those of you who aren't lost yet) roughly 2.5 miles. I'm hoping that will keep me from gaining before my fill.   Teresita, thanks for the reassurance. Although I gotta wonder why the icon is running away?:rolleyes
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I'M HALFWAY!!!

I just had to share:     As of this morning, I am halfway to my goal weight. OH HAPPY DAY!!!! :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :faint: :P :scared: :D :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :) ;) :scared: :D :P :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :D ;) :nervous :nervous :D :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:
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Curves weigh-in

Well I have some restriction. Not a whole lot, but it is a start. I want to wait until I'm completely stalled before I schedule another fill. It seems like the only time I manage to lose weight is the week I'm on liquids after a fill. Although I must admit, that I only stayed on liquids for about three days. I had my measuring day at Curves a few days ago. I'd lost 20 lbs. since I joined and they were all asking me what was my secret. So I pulled up my shirt and showed 'em my scars. Then I erased my name off the "Brag Board" 'cuz I'd really rather people didn't keep bringing it up. It makes me feel very awkward. I've never been good at accepting compliments & praise. I'm really very self-deprecating. Most of the time.   Here are my stats from the Curves measuring day: Bust 49 in. -3 in. Waist 47in. -4 in. Abdomen 52 in. -3 in. Hips 50 in. -3 in. Thighs 28 in. -2 in. Arms 16.5 in. -2 in. Body fat 42.6% -1.9% (for stats from my 1st. Curves measuring day, see entry #24)  
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Another fill

I went in for another fill today. I've lost count of how many fills I've had so far. Dr. Jay seemed pleased with my loss. He actually used the word "awesome." He gave me another .75 cc. So now my total fill is 9.75 cc. As usual, I'm on liquids for the next week. Also as usual, I'm not real happy about that:phanvan , but I know it'll finally get me to One-derland. I can't wait! I don't remember the last time I weighed less than 200 lbs.! I've been stepping on the scale every day (sometimes several times) since I went below 210. The suspense is killing me!:speechles
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