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Don't waste the pretty

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6 Months have passed

It's been a while since my last post and there is a very good reason for that. Last year before my reunion I was desperate to lose as much weight as possible so I had too much fill put in. Way, Way too tight. Not only could I hardly eat a thing, drinking was very slow and I couldn't sleep beacuse I couldn't swallow my own saliva in my sleep so I'd wake all the time coughing and spluttering.....nasty, as very very unhealthy. My fill doctor was away when I realised I was on the fast track to nowhere so I went to the emergency room at my nerest private hospital. They were happy to take out my fill but not just a bit...all of it and I could get it put back in when my doctor returned from holidays. At the time I was happy with that and just releaved to be able to eat and drink but what I didn't know was exactly how much weight I could put on so quickly and how slowly my doctor would fill me up again. To cut a long story short, I put on 7kgs over last Christmas and it took several months and many trips to the doctor to get my fill back up to a good level. I was so angry with myself for letting that happen that I couldnt being myself to update my profile to say I had put on weight. So that's why the 6 month holiday from lapband talk. Today, I weighed in at 81.3 Kg but this time I am not starving and I'm not dehydrated. I'm off to New York, Vegas and LA in 6 weeks and I'd like to be in the 70's by then. Today, to celebrate being back on track, I've taken my measurements. They are: Bust: 98 cm, Waist, 86 cm & Hip 116cm. I'll keep you posted... Fleur xx
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

80 kgs - Yippie!

Well, I certainly wasn't expecting it but when I weighed myself this morning I came in at 80.9kgs. A new all time low. I'm looking forward to my trip to the US in a few weeks and I know we will do lots of walking so hopefully the magic 70's won't be too far away.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Another Kilo Down

Yesterday I weighed in at 85kg which is a total lost of 22kg with 16 to go. I have my 20 year school reunion in 8 weeks and I've set myself the goal of being 80kg for that. To achive this I need to 'up-the-ani' so I set myself the task of walking each day and eating a lot better meals. My husband and I have just come back from Tokyo where we ate raw fish and walked heaps. We both felt a lot better for it and becasue it was so hot there I drank a lot of water - another good thing! So in the next 8 weeks and with spring just started I'm looking forward to getting myself together for the reunion.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Remember the 70's

I can't remember the last time I was in 'The 70's' but quite unexpectidly I hit 79 kilo's on the weekend. It was unexpected because I had only just got into the 80 kilo rang a week or so ago but I think I know what tipped me over. I had to go to Sydney for a couple of days and I always loose weight when I travel but also I had an odd side effect from taking pain killers. I have recently had a series of migraines and been taking Mersyndol regularly to ward them off. What this did to was make my pouch a little swollen, effectivly increasing my restriction quite a bit. I think it is under control now but I am going to the doctor in the morning for a bit of an unfill. I'm heading to the US in a week or so and I'd like a bit more freedom while on holidays. My Doc also believed that preasure in airplanes can temporarily increase restriction and in my experience this is true. Which ever way I got here I'm stoked to be in the 70's. F
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

TOO TIGHT!!

Had a bit of drama with my band today. I had been feeling an easing of restriction having lost more weight so last week I took myself off for a bit more fill. Only got 1/4ml extra. Things seemed OK for a few days - nice restriction - then disaster struck. I couldnt really eat anything with out pain. Even water would just sit there for a while. It was worse when I was sitting down. That wasn't the worse part. The worse part was not being able to sleep for the reflux. Even propped up in bed I'd get no more than 10 mins shut eye before I'd be bringing up some mucas - all night long. Today I went back to have 1/2 mill out and have spent the rest of the day in bed - sleeping thankfully. I feel a bit battered and bruised but as they say there is always a silver lining. I lost another KG - Now I've lost 21 kg with 17 to go.   Thought I'd also like to measure myself: NOW(CM's) Change from last Total CM's lost Waist 90cm -2cm 12cm Hip 121.5 same 17.5cm Bust 102.5 -2.5cm 16cm
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

25kg

This morning I weighed in a kilo lighter bringing me to the total loss of 25 kilos. I did have a bad night last night with refux so I don't knoe how much of that is dyhydration but I have been pumping water into me today and a loss is a loss and I'll take it where I find it. Bought some size 14 jeans last week (That's a 12 in the US) and while they are tight they are flattering and make me look both slim and tall. Every kilo seems to show up more now. In the beginning I had lost 10 kils before anyone really noticed but now every kilo makes a difference. My school reunion in in less that 2 weeks. I would be nice to be 81kilos by then but we'll see. Might be time to take some more photos
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

20kg Lost

Today I weighed in at 87kg. which is a total of 20 kg lost - a milestone for me. I remember my doctor saying to me before the operation that I could expect to loose 20 kg in the first 2 years. I did it in just over a year and while I know some bandster have lost heaps more in that time I am still thrilled to bits with 20kg. Sitting in the doctors office that day I remember feeling that 20kg seemed like an impossible dream. The band has allowed me to loose this weight slowly and without having to deprive myself or go on an unmaintainable lifestyle change. That's been the big key for me. I don't feel like I'm hanging on for dear life - affraid to slip up and start putting weight back on again like with all those diets. I know I will not regain the weight I've lost because I haven't had to flogg myself to lose it. I also posted some photos on the Aussie Before and after thread - never thought I'd be doing that.
Fleur

Fleur

2
 

Blocked but I lost

Since I last wrote in my journal I have put on weight, had a fill, had a block then lost the weight I've gained - then some. Today I'm 84 kg with 15 to go. I've got me school reunion in less than a month so I'll take my weight loss where I can get it thanks. Getting a block sucks big time. I was eating Thai food with my family and we were talking and I just forgot to chew properly. I had a hell night with reflux and the next day bought up the unchewed vegies. So there was a big fat lesson in Chew Chew Chew!
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Measurements

Took some new measurements today: Hip: 117cm - went up 1 cm - don't know how I managed that. Waist: 82cm down 4 cm -maybe fat is migrating from waist to hips. Bust: 97 - down 1cm
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

26 kg lost

I've been waiting for this one and this morning I hit 81 kilos. I was loosing a steady kilo per week last month in the lead up to my school reunion and then I stayed the same for a couple of weeks on 82 then this morning when I really wasn't expecting it I hit 81. Now I will focus on the Big 80. That's a good milestone to get to. I now weigh less than my wedding weight and for the first time in a million years I weight less than my husband. The reunion was good. Most people didn't recognise me which was satisfying. Not that I was that big a school. I an off to the beach with the kids for a few day now so here's hoping I can hold onto 81 kilos whilst in holiday mode.
Fleur

Fleur

2
 

24kg Lost

I've spent the last few days working in Melbourne. I worked pretty hard and didn't eat too much although what I did eat was party food. Anyhow, I managed to lose another KG. Now I'm 83 kilos with 14 to go. I was blocked last night so I didn't sleep well becasue of the reflux but I'monthe mend today. Since I've lost a few kilos now since my last measurements I thought I might re do them now: Bust 101cm - down 4cm since last measure and 14cm all up Waist 87cm - down 5cm since last measure and 18.5cm all up Hips 119cm - down 1.5cm since last measure and 19cm all up
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Another KG bites the dust

Went to Sydney for a long weekend and lost another KG. It seems when I am busy and on the go I loose weight easily. Also a bit of walking the streets shopping also helps. I am delighted to have a new all time low of 94.5 - now my job is to stabalise this weight and hold it over the Christmas period. I've started a little job working in a sweedish stationery shop which I love but the best part is I am on my feet all day and I am being active. Confession time: I am still drinking too much. I just love champagne. My shrink did warn me that I may substitute one bad habit with another.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Blocked

I had my first block. I came home late and hungry so I ate a couple of dry biscuits just a bit too quickly. I had a block for about an hour. I was PBing despretly trying to get it to clear. A bit of soda water eventually did the trick.   I have been eating less which is encouraging but I'm not sure I have lost any weight in the past few days.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Normal food at last

I had a call from the dietician today after I emailed her about my struggles with the half cup over 20 min thing. Trudy (God love her) allowed me to go ahead and have some regular food and see how I go. So now I can use a small entree plate to eat meals from. I still have to try and string it out for 20 mins. I can slowly introdce toast and lavosh bread. I can now have crackers and lean meats. No more puree - yippie!!! I thought I was going mad before. To help me trudy has also sent me a beginners eating plan. My next Doctors appointment is monday and I am sweating on a fill becuase I just have far too much freedome at the moment for my own good. I wish I was one of those peoplem that feels restricted straight away but I'll have to wait for my fill.   Today I ate: 3/4 cup cereal with skim milk coffee 350g greek yoghurt small latte small plate of chicken, vegies and goats cheese coffee banana water water water small plate of pumpkin & goats cheese ravioli.
Fleur

Fleur

2
 

I must be screwed in the head

There is no other explanation for it. I MUST be screwed in the head. I am totally focused on food and eating all the time. I'm trying sooooo hard to eat 1/2 cup at a time over 20 mins but I just find that the restriction is causing me to pick at food all the time. Most of the time I sit down and get through my half cup in 10 - 15 min but other times I just eat a little bit of whatever is handy - including chocolate. Today I ate a small tin of salmon and I must have eaten it too quickly because I felt a terrible intergestion pain then I bought a little bit of it back up. It wasn't a vomit so much as a regergitation. Now you would think that would have stopped me but Ohhh No.... I wne on to have some ice cream with my son and some peanut butter from the jar. I'm feeling terribly out of controle and hating myself.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

HALF WAY

There were times when I didn't think I'd make it but this morning I weighed in at 88.2kg which is a total loss of 19kg's and exactly half way to my goal of 69kg. I thought I celebrate by taking me measurements which are: Bust 105cm - down .5cm on last measure Waist 92cm - down 1cm Hips 120.5cm - down 1 cm I compared that to the measurements I took 9 days before the band and I've lost 10cm off my bust, 13.5cm off my waist and a big 17.5cm from my hips......feeling a bit smug I am....   Now my weight loss is quite noticable especially to people who haven't seen me in a while. I made a very deliberate decision to tell people the truth about my weight loss. I want everyone to know that the band is the reason I am finally able to deal with my weight problem. Who knows it may just help someone make the decision to have the band themselves. I know if I had known a successful bandster I probably would have had it much sooner.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Happy Bandiversary to Me!!

Today is my very first Bandiversary. And while I have not lost the huge amounts of weight some girls do in thier first year I am over the moon with my 17kg loss. 12 months ago I was a different person in the way I thought of my self and my abilities. I may be almost half way but now I can see the way forward. I can see myself at 69 kilos but a year ago it was a far off fantasy. It hasn't been what I expected either. I read all the stories on this site about the girls loosing 30 to 50 kgs in the first year and truely expected that to be me. Well, the band didnt really start working for me for a good 5 - 6 months. If you read my previous journal entries you will understand why. But you know what, who said I have to loose all my weight fast. That would be great but that's not how it happened for me. The advantage of loosing slowing is it gives your head a chance to catch up with your body. As every kg has come off so my attitude to myself has changed. I dont know if that would be possibel if I was loosing weight quickly. So what for the coming year..... Exercise!! I know I have said it many many times before but I do need to more. Weather it be dance or walking but I need to move and you know what now I'm 17kg's down I want to move. I want to dance when a good song comes on the radio and I want to walk around the lake now. I would also like a tummy tuck in the coming year. I have an apointment with a top plastic surgeon on the 8th August. Looking forward to seeing where I'm at in another 12 months. F
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Where did the restriction go??

I'm feeling a bit defeated and depressed about the short lived results of my first fill. I have been putting on weight lately because I have a pre band appetite all the time. When I started this adventure I was hopefull that the band would give me the restricion I needed pretty much from the get-go. That's not the case, but is it me? or is this yet another thing I have failed to get right. I know that sounds terribly negative but it's hard not to blame yourself. The whole reson I get this band was to force me to do what I havn't been able to do unassisted. I've just started a new thread asking other memebrs for their early banding & fill experience.   Today I ate   Medication Metamucil coffee 3 shortcut bacon 1 egg 4 rice thins with peanut butter banana Piece of birthday cake Lean roast lamb 1 small potato pumpkin zuccini Water
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Ya learn something new every day

Since my last journal entry I have been feeling a bit more hungry and have actually put on some weight. I went back to my doctor today for a fill worried I had a leak or I had streatched my pouch. My doctor told me, to my great releif, that as I loose weight the band needs to be tighted slightly to keep up the same level of restriction. In the same way my rings are looser since losing wight my lap band is also looser and needs adjusting to remain effective.... the things you learn!! She also said that a couple of drinks a day is perfectly fine, just consider it a snack to allow for the KJ's. Good news all round!!
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Going Down

I know I'm the slackest journaler ever and I'm also probably the slowest looser but I'm getting there. This morning I am 92.8 which is the lowest I have been in many years. That brings my loss to a total of 15kg now. I have also taken my measurments today. They are now: Waist: 96cm Hip: 123cm Bust: 108.5cm I'll keep you posted!!   Fleur
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

2 Days till banding

Today I feel overwhelmed and worried that I will cheat the band. I had a phone appointment with my psycologist today and as she rightly pointed out I need to work on 'complience' - or my ability to stick with it. This is the rock in the bottom of my stomach. I have only ever know failure with my weight or short term success, so it's very hard for me to be 100% positive that I will do all that is necessary to work with the band. I dont know what i'll do if I fail again. I want to change and need to change so much but in my head I keep doubting myself.
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Getting harder no to eat.....

I really feel like I need to give something more substantial a go. I am so sick of soup. Today I had a some 'normal' food and it felt like I had intergestion so that put the brakes on me pretty quick. I haven't been going out much because I thought it would be harder to stick to the diet. That, and I have also set myself a 90 day 'no unnecessary purchases' challenge. So I have been at home working hard but I have moments of feeling quite depressed. I know it will pass but God it's really there. Maybe it is because I have removed my usual copeing tool - food. Yesterday I wanted to eat and eat but today it isn't too bad. I'm going to have to come up with somethinginspired for dinner. I did weigh myself today, even though I promised myself I would only do it on a Monday BUT it was 102kg so I'm happy but I'll be happier if I can get rid of this constipation. I had a a lovely emaio from another Brisbane girl with the band, Lara. She is amazing - she has lost 48kg since last October (6 months). She's given me her number and I'm going to meet her for a coffee. Lara also had the same doctor as well. Be nice to have a little band buddy close by.   Today I ate Optifast with Banana Skim Latte 1/2 cinnomon roll - I know but I was in town and starving Optifast with banana 1/2 cup potato & leek soup Water Water Water Medication & Soluable Multi vit.   Yesterday I ate Optfast with Banana and tinned apricots 1 1/2 cups pea soup Optifast with banana & tinned apricots 1 1/2 cups roast vegie soup Optifast with banana sm slice mushed up quiche Coffee Medication Water
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Busy Day = eat less

I had a full on day at work today. I orgainsed for all of the radio stations in Brisbane to donate some equipment to a local hospital and we had the presentation today. It was a great success and lots of media coverage. I'm feeling quite pleased with myself now. Anyway, I was sooooo busy I really didn't have time, nore felt like eating. By late afternnon I thought I probably should eat something substantial or I might over do it at dinner. I see Dr Bowden in the morning and I am hoping for a fill.   Today I Ate   Latte Banana - mashed up Skim Latte Cauliflower, Avocado and chicken mash glass Nudie juice 2 x small corn wrap with mince and avocado coffee Metamucil Medications
Fleur

Fleur

1
 

Two steps forward - one back

Its been a long time since my last entry so we have a lot of catching up to do. After my last fill nothing really happened except work became a lot quiter and I had a shitfight with a dickhead at work. So I ate. We then went on holiday.... so I ate some more. I went back up to 104 before my next fill which was last week. Needless to say the doctor was disapointed but I told her that I could easily eat a 3 course meal. She gave me another .6ml bringing me to 3.1 ml and asked me to drink some water. I drank it without any trouble at all and she said that it is unusal for someone with as much fill as I now have. She concluded that I must have a small stomoch (you wouldn't know it) and/or my stomach wall is thinner than the average resulting in the band not giving me the expected restriction. The solution was to be a bit more agressive with the fills. I have to go back in 2 weeks for a another go.   Since the fill I have noticed quite a bit more restriction. The first couple of meals after the fill I had to bring some food up. The message is clearly that I need to slow down. I now think I know why people say they can no longer eat certain food like bread. Up until this week I have not had trouble with any food really.   Anyway, the day after the fill I had a god almightly migrane and ended up in hospital. I didnt realise that the band would virtually stop me from vomiting. It was very stressful not being able to bring anything up. For the next two days I felt sick and even more restricted which I guess was from the swelling from the vomiting.   I have just taken some measurments: Weight 100.9kg bust: 112cm waist: 105cm Hip: 129
Fleur

Fleur

2
 

Bugger Easter

This Easter has been a bit of a bugger really. I have had my ups and downs with food the past few days but that pails into insignificance when compared with what our neighborhood has suffered this Easter. Our house backs onto a lake which the public have access to. It's a lovely place for our kids and we take them to play or ride around the lake virtually every day. On Good Friday my husband Andrew took our son to the jetty directly out the back of our house to catch little guppies in his net. They started playing with a group of young boys who were also on the jetty and their mothers were picnicking nearby. Angus shared his fishing net with the boys but as it often does things ended in a fight and Andrew bought Angus home. About 45 minutes later one of the little boys Angus was playing with went missing. Within an hour there were police everywhere, 2 rescue choppers and 60 odd SES rescuers trying to find this little boy - Nathan. Sadly police divers found his body later that night caught up in weed under the jetty. This has affected both Andrew and I terribly. Not only was it out the back of our house but Nathan was Millie’s age. As far as food goes I have eaten less than I normally would but it hasn't been all puree stuff. At least one meal each day had been regular food which I have chewed very well. And I'm still working on eating slower.
Fleur

Fleur

1
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