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I have a crush

Good lord - almost 40 and I think I have a crush - oh strike that - I HAVE a crush.

Some I have this great friend - let me tell ytou he is awesome.

We went to grad school together and when I first walked in that class with him sitting in the back row I knew then how special a person he is - 7 years later I'm crushing still.

In 2007 we took a trip well two actually one was a long weekend to my home town for a special festival/event. Then we took off for a month and travelled around the southern hemisphere. I came so close to telling him then on the last week but couldn't muster the words. Now we are talking about taking another month long trip.

I should mention I've dated and had boyfriends during this time and he has dated and had girlfriends. Just so happens at this moment we are both single and not seeing anyone.

I don't even know how to say the words to him "hey there I've been wondering for the past few years if your lips are as soft as they look - can I see for myself?"

oh good grief

I'll take any advice.

I just know that we'll be in our 60's living in the same retirement community planning our trips - and be Single still.

ughh!

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Tina,

TELL HIM ALREADY !!!! It sounds like you both would be perfect together, maybe bring it up on the next trip. Hint around that you feel something for him that is more then just "freinds" and see where he take it from there. Good luck! Keep us posted !

Tina,

Just get it over with and kiss him. If it takes a few glasses of wine, so be it. I have had so many friends be in this position. Once you're in the friend role, the guy doesn't see past it. Most men are clueless. He doesn't try anything because he's not reading your mind and he doesn't want to lose your friendship. But guys are physical beings, if you kiss him, he'll get the message and it's not as awkward as a conversation.

By the way, I have followed my own advice and it worked out great. It's been alot of years and 2 kids since I first kissed him. Who knows if he ever would have figured it out on his own? I like to think that he would have, but you never know.

Cindy

You're single, he's single, you like him and he probably likes you, too. Move on it already! If we always waited for the man to make the move we'd be dead already

You are too cute!! I'm guessing that if he is taking month long vaca's with you...that he is thinking what you are thinking!! Tell him already!! :thumbup: Life is too short!

My question is..... Where does someone get the money/time off to take a month long vacation?? I would love to know your secret.. :unsure:

  • Author

Thank you all for your words of encouragement - looks like we are headed to DC for a trip in 2 weeks to see a friend from grad school so I think I'm going to get my smooch in then!

Big Tom - we both work for places with generous vacation plans - I earn 6 weeks a year and can bank up 4. We pooled our points from amex/spg and that paid for every single night we were out and about. I then sold 2 weeks of vacation time and took a little bit from savings. He did something similiar on selling vacation time. For the Thailand trip I already have enough points for 8 nights.

sounds like something alcohol can cure. If it works out then you can say you were sober, if it doesn't you were drunk and didn't remember anything.

Hehe Andrew your too funny! Its true though, thats exactly what I did with every guy I dated up through the night I met my husband! It can be very awkward to start a romantic relationship, and a few glasses of wine or a coupe beers couldn't hurt.

Relationships are not built on secret fantasy's they are built on communication. When I met my husband I was just starting to REALLY enjoy being single. I thought to myself, as we shook hands during our introduction, "please don't like me". And it was downhill from there. :thumbdown:

I'm glad I didn't tell him that secret until later. Now we laugh about it.

But I still told him.

Do you want to or can you be friends with him if the feelings aren't mutual? I had a friend in college who was exactly like you are describing - we'd go on trips together and we spent almost all free time together in addition to scheduling all our classes together. I had a crush on him but the feelings weren't mutual - I did tell him I wanted more at some point. The friendship feel apart because he thought I was always thinking something - even though I wasn't. He couldn't trust that I was just a friend after that.

Relationships are not built on secret fantasy's they are built on communication. When I met my husband I was just starting to REALLY enjoy being single. I thought to myself, as we shook hands during our introduction, "please don't like me". And it was downhill from there. :thumbdown:

I'm glad I didn't tell him that secret until later. Now we laugh about it.

But I still told him.

Do you want to or can you be friends with him if the feelings aren't mutual? I had a friend in college who was exactly like you are describing - we'd go on trips together and we spent almost all free time together in addition to scheduling all our classes together. I had a crush on him but the feelings weren't mutual - I did tell him I wanted more at some point. The friendship feel apart because he thought I was always thinking something - even though I wasn't. He couldn't trust that I was just a friend after that.

I was actually kind of seeing another girl when I met my wife. I wasn't looking for anything serious and I told her that. She said the same thing and here it is 9 years later and we're still together.

  • 7 months later...

"every kiss begins with kay" is BS!!! Most start with a couple of drinks. GO FOR IT! :):thumbup:

GO FOR IT!!!

I had a crush on one of my male friends when I was younger.......and NEVER NEVER said anything. To this day I think we could have made a great couple....yet we are both married to other people and have good marriages. We remain friends - and I have found out, through his sister, that he had a crush on me, too! But never thought that I liked him!!

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