Can I get pregnant after eating chicken strips three days out from surgery while listening to Michael Jackson music? Inquiring minds want to know.

Someone call me stoooopid? That's it, I'm calling Alex.

Really? I'm just getting started. Hey, I just hike my fleshy apron up and HELLO, BOYS!

Oooh, I'm finding that visual strangely erotic. Damned liquid diet.

Liquid diet? Who said we had to do that? Is that required??

Honey, I'm just so freakingly jealous of those mushrooms.... I bought a lemon tree (the whole, huge tree...not some dinky plant) and well, nada. Just what kind of water and plant food did you use??!?!

Trade secret!

Wow, did you get an apron with your band??? I want one too.

Never fear. You'll get yours.

God you all are funny! I'm laughing so hard it's making me break out in some weird red rash! Maybe if I go swimming it will go away.

Yes, you must go swimming, but only if you just had surgery yesterday.

Yes, you must go swimming, but only if you just had surgery yesterday.

I'm gonna get my band, stop for a Whopper, come home and jump in the pool. Don't worry though. I'm gonna eat the chicken strips when I get out. I know, I know. It's all about protein. Right??? Is that right? I hope somebody answers. Soon. Right???

Don't you all have anything better to do on a friday night besides make fun of people??? I'm telling my momma on all of you.

God you all are funny! I'm laughing so hard it's making me break out in some weird red rash! Maybe if I go swimming it will go away.

Try the chicken strips. Better yet, if you can find a double-double cheeseburger somewhere, wolf it down.

Try the chicken strips. Better yet, if you can find a double-double cheeseburger somewhere, wolf it down.

I'll see your double-double and raise you an XL pepperoni pizza and an order of hot wings....

Don't forget about the diet dr pepper, but be sure to stir it up first with a spoon.

I'll see your double-double and raise you an XL pepperoni pizza and an order of hot wings....

How lame.

I see your bet and raise you a tall stack of IHOP harvest grain and nut pancakes with gobs of butter, a monte christo, and fried ice cream.

Can I have fries with my double cheeseburger? A milkshake to wash it down? Can the chicken fingers be my appetizer? Please help

Can I have fries with my double cheeseburger? A milkshake to wash it down? Can the chicken fingers be my appetizer? Please help

I thought that went without saying. Sheesh.