Can I get pregnant after eating chicken strips three days out from surgery while listening to Michael Jackson music? Inquiring minds want to know.

I'm from the ghetto. I don't know what big fancy words like negate means???

Okay, you people are boring me to death. DO SOMETHING TO ENTERTAIN ME!!!

I'm from the ghetto. I don't know what big fancy words like negate means???

It's a short gate, about knee height. It's the shortened version of knee gate.

Knee gate? I have to have one of those if I get the band?? Where do I get it? Will my insurance pay for it???

Dont you all know how to shrink your liver? You eat chicken strips and milkshakes 3x a day. Don't you people know anything?

I'm from the ghetto. I don't know what big fancy words like negate means???

I changed it just for you!

Knee gate? I have to have one of those if I get the band?? Where do I get it? Will my insurance pay for it???

Dunno. Depends on how ghetto you are.

I think you can find them at the little people stores. C'mon, can't you do ANYthing yourself?

Douche? Do I have to do that in order to get a band???

No, I can't do anything for myself. Don't you know that's why I come here, so everyone can tell me exactly what to do??

Well, I had a fun day. I dropped off a $5000 check at my surgeon's office. Now, I may be a bit sensitive 'cause I'm getting banded soon, but...I swear I heard the receptionist say it was great that I came by. Now they could actually afford to turn the instrument sterilizer thingy on again. Should I be concerned?

Then, I went grocery shopping. With my dad. He rode in one of those motorized carts. We have been asked not to return to that store or any others in their chain. Again, should I be concerned?

I'd be more worried if even after your $5,000 they still couldn't turn on the sterilizer thingie.

Your doc is doing it as an outpatient in his back office, right? In a barcalounger?

I'd be more worried if even after your $5,000 they still couldn't turn on the sterilizer thingie.

Your doc is doing it as an outpatient in his back office, right? In a barcalounger?

Gee, you're one to talk. I heard your doc did your band in a LaZBoy. At least mine has fake leather. Faux suede - ewww, how tacky for you.

But I really hurt where my band is. And I want to get pregnant but I'm overweight by 200 pounds and my doctor won't help me get pregnant. Will the band help me?? Someone answer soon.

But I really hurt where my band is. And I want to get pregnant but I'm overweight by 200 pounds and my doctor won't help me get pregnant. Will the band help me?? Someone answer soon.

So how do you want your doctor to help you get pregnant? Mount you? They might charge more for that. Just sayin'...

So how do you want your doctor to help you get pregnant? Mount you? They might charge more for that. Just sayin'...

Phew, dodged a bullet there! That IS included in my 5 grand.