Something that crushes me...

[bsb_eagle 0]

I work in retail and I am around all kinds of people all the time. The thing that crushes me is when I'm working on something, minding my own business, and a child in a cart with a parent will roll by and I'll hear "Wow! She's really fat!" I know they are children, but you would think that the parent would immediately correct the behavior. No... Every single time the parent shushes them and hurries by me without saying a word. It just kills me that parents will at least not tell a child to say such things about people. Am I wrong for feeling this way?:frown:

[El Diablo 1]

You're not wrong. They are brats and their parents and society will eventually pay for their parents lack of parenting skills

[Jachut 487]

You dont know that they didnt have a chat about it afterwards - embarrassment is usually why people just say shhhh and hurry on not meeting your eye. As soon as they're out of earshot that parent could have said "that was not nice" or "its rude to say things like that and it hurts people's feelings".

Sheesh Dan, do you have any kids? Do they always behave exactly the way you want? Parents can never anticipate everything that comes out of a child's mouth and to a child, well someone extremely obese is remarkable, just as some one is who's physically disabled or behaving in a strange manner, or whatever. Children who look and remark aren't brats, they're just children. You've a right to expect parents to deal with it, but they're still children, and the extent of our parenting doesnt really show till they're adults and are open, tolerant, accepting. Until then, they will continue to do what children do and we will continue to correct them in the hope that one day, they WONT be children anymore. Calling them brats is a bit harsh.

[bsb_eagle 0]

Wow, had I realized this was going to be such an issue to bring up I would not have. It's just something that happened today at work and happens consistently and it just made me a little sad. Just thought this was a place where I could be open with my feelings. No worries... I will never make my own thread again.

[Jachut 487]

It's not an issue, not at all. You asked am I wrong and I just said I thought that you cant assume the parent didnt deal with the comment later on. You're not wrong to feel hurt by it, but dont assume that the parent just let it slide. It would be nice however if the parent had the grace to at least apologise to you, wouldnt it?

My other comment was directed to Dan. I dont think a child who makes a comment is necessarily a brat. Kids do that. They need to be taught not to. But that doesnt make them brats.

I'm sorry your feeling were hurt, you dont deserve it. But I can promise, I would discuss such a comment with my child. My thirteen year old would no longer dream of it, my five year old would still perhaps do it - my point being that it takes years of parenting to produce a socially acceptable little angel, not one episode of telling a child not to say things like that. I just think that if we dont want people to make assumptions about us based on weight and appearance, its quite important not to make assumptions about them in return.

Edited February 14, 2009 by Jachut

[El Diablo 1]

No, thats unacceptable. Take em around the corner and tell them? Heck no, snatch em by the ear, tell them, and make them apologize to the person.

bsb_eagle , no worries, make all the threads you like, I do.

It's a fact of life that folks aren't always going to agree but thats not the thread starters fault. :frown:

[twirl 0]

I just had my third child and I got very sick --renal problems and I gained tons of weight --we were at a park and a little boy said," look at the big, fat lady" his mom hurried him past me and I could tell she was horrified at her son's remark -- he was only about 3 or so - I felt bad but what the boy said was right -- I think he was too young to know what he said--- at least, I could tell his mom was upset

after that I was in Randall's and a man made fun of me in front of me--- his wife stated "maybe she is pregnant"

I found my husband and pointed the man out to him -- my husband is 6ft 4 inches and a coach --- you should have seen that man get out of the store as quickly as his short little legs would go------- jackass

[laurr925 0]

Dan - I agree that children should be held responsible for their actions. I think that humility is a lesson that should be learned early, but not every parent feels that way and not every parent is prepared when their kid says something inappropriate.

bsb_eagle - I am sorry that happened to you. It has happened to me too - I was a camp counselor for many summers and had heard (on a few occasions) kids talking about my weight.

The fact is, most children don't have an internal filter. They say whatever is on their mind. But they are children, they don't know yet about social norms and prejudices. They watch tv shows and movies where characters make fun of each other based on physical appearance and they pick up on it.

The only thing any of us can do is make sure that our children know whats right and hope that if/when they are in class with someone making fun of someone else they do the right thing.

[Cali W 0]

bsb_eagle,

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that happened to you. Its heart breaking isnt it? Just think, in not too many more months you wont have to experience situations like that! Keep your head up and remember that you are beautiful and have plenty to offer this crazy et sometimes cruel world!

Oh, and thats what this whole site is about. Supporting eachother whether we have a good day or a bad day. We learn from eachother and we can all certainly relate to eachothers' experiences.

Blessings,

Cali