HI all, I've read so much about how the divorce rate goes up after having weight loss surgery, esp within the first 3 years. And with divorce statistics as high as what they are already it makes me wonder. I didn't want to attempt a survey but I am aching to ask those who have been banded for a while if you have experienced this - divorce after being banded & what do you think the reasons were that caused the divorce. OR did the surgery help your relationship with your SO?

I've been banded for 6 months now (wow, time flies!) & in some ways I feel closer to my DH then ever but it hasn't always been so. And those reasons haven't gone away but are lurking in the background still to this day. In no way do I want to divorce & for years I've worked on keeping the issues we have from completely interfering in our lives. Sometimes it seems like so much work.

There was a point about 5 years ago (I've been married for 13 years now) where I lost 50 pounds on WW and was feeling great. I LIKED the attention I was receiving from others & beamed at compliments. I didn't want to recognize the issues I had with my DH, some of them I believe were (are) compatibility issues. I rekindled a misguided affair of the heart with someone I knew in childhood. It was all over the phone & through letters & lasted a short time but it caused my DH much pain.

Needless to say I'm very weary about how I feel about my now shrinking self. It doesn't interest me much when a man tells me that I look good. In fact I shrink from that attention 'cause I look at it in light of my previous experience.

I would like to hear from those of you with first hand experience with issues of the heart resulting from WLS/lap band. Did the surgery cause problems or actually help your relationship? Thanks for sharing your stories.

Interesting discussion. When I talked to the psych doc before being banded, it was one of the things he talked about. I didnt have a good marriage but wasnt looking to leave, but within a year of being banded, my father passed and then within 6mths of that we separated and divorced. It has been a very difficult 2 yrs. My 3 yr Bandaversary is this Saturday. I think that if you have a weak marriage, it can break it. For me there has been sooo much in my life. I had a dbl mastectomy 4 yrs ago, and he was not there for me. I had 12 breast tumors, 9 lumpectomies and my risk for breast cancer was huge, my doctor advised that I have the mastectomy, I went to grief counseling and made the decision. I do not regret that decision at all. This was a huge precursor to knowing he wouldnt be there for me when my Daddy passed or for me when I had WLS. When things are weak, it doesnt take much to break it.

Next month will be 36 years for us. So,,,,, I don't think I'm going anywhere..

I am so glad I found this thread and have spent the last few hours reading it (wow). My husband and I have no relationship anymore and our sex life is non existant. Im not banded yet but should be oct 11. Im doing this for me, my self esteem, my confidence, and to feel good about myself, dammit! But I'm also hoping that it'll bring my husband back to me. When he gets home from work, he hugs and kisses everyone (including our animals) except me. Im hoping that this surgery will improve or marraige for the better but now I'm concerned. Im unhappy, I'm sure he is too, and now Im scared its just going to bee the thing that ends it all.

What we were taught about it at Seminar: They feel better, then they look better, so now the figure they can do better, if they find another.

I guess it's got truth to it for some people that I met, at Monthly meetings that were Divorced.

But I never went looking...