I am scheduled to have surgery on Friday, 7/25, and my fiance is not to happy about it. I have wanted this surgery since 2000, and he was always encouraging and wanted it for me just as badly as I wanted it. Now that I have done self pay and the surgery is coming up, he is now questioning my decision. He now does not understand why I need the surgery. And he just can't seem to understand why I would pay 10k for the procedure. He is now saying things like we could have worked out together, we could have did this and that together to help me loose the weight. I think brotha is just a little bit insecure, because his chubby fiance is about to become a brick house,:crying:. He is trying everything in his power to discourage me from having it. Not gonna happen....He even told me that he loves me the way I am. I said if you can love me at 200+lbs, you can surely love me at 100+lbs. I just had to vent....:eek:

Edited July 21, 200818 yr by yettia1031

Good for you Yettia. Don't allow him to discourage you! You are doing this for you. Good luck!

Yettia - okay girl - I know I'm not a Woman of Color, but I've got to respond to this post.

Do this for YOU and no one ELSE but you!!! My DH did the same thing to me. It ended up being about his insecurities and was afraid when I lost all the weight he'd lose me. Now, four months later, he literally can't keep his hands off me. I was so happy to see TOM yesterday. I never thought I'd say it, but I needed a break! LOL

Trust me - if he loves you he'll love the new you even more. If he still has an issue, screw 'em. There's always more fish in the sea hun.

Ohhhh not the head trip ??????? :rolleyes2:

Don't they understand how played out that S%*T is by now.

You can not change a sista's mind once we have made it up.

Girl you just do you... he will catch up.

Curves~

I am so glad you didn't let him change your mind!! I think he is just feeling insecure too, he knows you will have a bunch of guys approaching you. Just make sure he knows you love him and you want leave him.

Yeah it's insecurity. My hubby went through the same thing. He will get over it, if he's worth it. Like someone said, if he truly loves you now, he will truly love you then no matter how much you weigh. Love is not measured by pounds. So if he's basing his feelings on what you look like.....he needs to look in the mirror and "encourage himself!" Don't let him get you down....he will like it in the end and if not move right along. You need positivity, not the opposite.

In the words of the great and wise poet Rocko:

You just do you (and what), umma do me, umma do me, umma do me

You just do you (and what), umma do me, umma do me, umma do me

Wanna see how it's done? Then watch me do me, watch me do me, watch me do me

Wanna see how it's done? Then watch me do me, watch me do me, watch me do me :Dancing_tongue::eek::Dancing_tongue:

On another note, continue to love him as hard as you love yourself and everything will work out as it should. God Bless:smile2:

Thank ya'll, I really appreciate it. I know he will get over it and if not, somebody else will appreciate this brick house:drool:!!!!! New Me, Here I come.

Girl do you and get your sexxxxy back. You sound like me. My husband was tripping too. I have the classic shape, big butt and legs. Have lost over 55 pounds, and I still got some back. I am so happy and so is he, I am looking better every day. Good luck

Yettia, Um I can see why he is so insecure. You. Are. HOT! You're going to be on fiyah after WLS. But in this situation you have to do what's best for you. Good luck!

Yettia, Um I can see why he is so insecure. You. Are. HOT! You're going to be on fiyah after WLS. But in this situation you have to do what's best for you. Good luck!

OMG I'm hot, haven't heard that in a long time, sometimes it feels good to hear it. Thanks Skinny. I really appreciate all the encouragement. Well my day is almost here please keep me in your prayer and I'll do the same. I am so glad that I found ya'll. :eek:

Keep your head up Yettia! He is just being insecure. Let him know you are not going anywhere, and you will still love:wub: him the same when you are Fine :drool:as when you were Big:wink2:.

I am praying that you have a safe surgery and a speedy recovery!:eek:

Yettia,

Bring it on back girl ! Nobody can bring sexy back like you, just do it !

Edited July 22, 200818 yr by Lana24

OMG I'm hot, haven't heard that in a long time, sometimes it feels good to hear it. Thanks Skinny. I really appreciate all the encouragement. Well my day is almost here please keep me in your prayer and I'll do the same. I am so glad that I found ya'll. :seeya:

That's what we're here for :ihih:

Hey Yettia,

By now you have had your surgery and I pray you have had a good experience and are recovering nicely. Your fiance will recover also.....trust me!

Yettia.. just like everybody else have already said .. this is something you have decided to do for you and just keep that in mind. In our lives we do so much for everybody we seem to get lost, but this choice to have WLS is something for us, for you and with that don't let anybody make you feel bad about your choice. When I told my long term "friend" of my choice he reacted the same way. Kept asking me why go to that extreme, it is so much you can do besides having surgery. I brushed it off and said this is for me and I would hope you would support me, but that is your choice. I must admit things have not been good since I told him, but again that is also on him. Because nobody .... I mean nobody is going to take this away from me... Good Luck and kepp your head up and like April said keep loving him if it is meant to be it will work itself out and if it doesn't isn't it good to know now???