Shhh...Keep it in the Closet!?

[A lot less 1]

A lot less ~ My husband will be here with the kids and they go to school during the day.

That's good. But he will be wondering why you are so sore and in pain. I couldn't drive, (I did consider it, though) and glad that I didn't. I slept ALL the way home (I live about 45 mins from the hospital) and then more when I got home. I did feel pretty good the next day, but the 3rd day, I felt like a big mac truck had hit me. I hope that you all can talk and that he is very supportive cause you will need him. Take care and let us know how everything goes. After all, we ARE in this together. Even if we can't talk about this journey with family, we have our lapband family.:seeya:

Be blessed

[southerngirl24 0]

I am telling anyone but my husbad. I just do not want to have to hear the replies I know I will get. My mom does not want me to do it and told me last year that I was crazy to consider it. My mom is RN and she kept telling me all the risks that she knew of. My brother and dad do not thing I need it. But these are all folks who are smaller and have been for years. This is out of character for me not to tell anyone but it is such a personal journey I do not want to moved from my choice.

[ziahmama 0]

Dear ladies or gents,

i have been an rn for 7yrs and have taken care of several people who have had bad results with open gastric bypasses mostly with infection and nonhealing incisions but a lot of these people were also noncompliant with their diets and had other isssues. i choose the lapband because it is the safest and i do not regret it for 1 second.i have lost 81 pds my surg was 11/27/07. i agree on not to tell now that i know how people act when they find out. my family is very supportive and happy, my husband was afraid of me having the surg at first. he thought what if something goes wrong and we have a baby girl that had just turned one 7 days before my surg but he agreed and he knew i was a 29 yr old woman with deteriorating bones and lots of joint pain and refused to take the prescribed celebrex.i find that other people besides my family are haters, like my coworkers sit and wonder what my skin looks like under my clothes,one even had the nerve to ask. which it looks good except my tummy but i have had 4 kids -2 c-sections. some of my friends try to compete with me who are just slightly overwt and now i am smaller than them,i find that there are people who like to be smaller than others to feel more superior or finer or to think they are better. i am not in this for a competition i just want to be healthier ,no pain issues and look in the mirror and like what i see as most of us have beautiful shapely bodies but back to the subject i decided to stop being so open with my business because people asked to many damn questions and as i ahve found most are not really happy for you they are just nosy and are waiting for you to fail,so i will stick to the simple truth diet and doing 2-3 miles 4xs a week of exercise. just alittle rant i am form louisiana and i went home this week from oklahome where i reside. my sister which is the only little one of my sisters and brothers that is small weighing 117 and 5 ft tall did not comment on the wt loss but when i had just lost 30 lbs she commented,the only thing she said this time when i put on a semi form fitted dress was your waist is way smaller than your hips but did not give any other support and she is also a rn and most of my support has been from her so i do not know if i am overreacting but everyone else was blown away by the 81 pd loss because even my face looks much younger. any way i am so happy we have a sister forum because we do face different cultural issues with wt loss. thanks for letting me vent.:biggrin:

[aprilapple 1]

ziahmama, u brought up some points that really hit home. Today I saw one of the parents at my school and she has lost a lot of weight in the past 11mos. Well she used to shaped like Hottentot Venus. Small waist big butt and hips. A lot of men would drool. But she was overweight non the less. Now she is small and very curvy. I commented on how good she looked and to keep up the good work.

Well, she asked me privately if she was losing too much weight because people, including her in-laws would make comments like she didn't need to lose anymore etc ( u know the type) So this is what I told her:

Look, there are two types of people that will comment on your weight. The ones that are sincere and the ones that are nosy. Now when your feet are swollen and you have sleep apnea and wake up choking where are the nosy people then? Look, for those that want to know what u r doing and just being nosy its none of their business. I don't care if you cut out your stomach and laid it on a table -that's your business. So this is what you tell them : you are doing, jenny craig, la weightloss, weightwatchers whatever. Have them running around town spending money on programs and looking stupid trying to figure u out . But whatever u r doing be proud and u don't owe anyone an explanation.

[ziahmama 0]

amen to everything you said aprilapple

[tammygirl 0]

I like your style Ziahmamma!

[casper2101 0]

I shared my journey with all of my friends and family. I made the decision to have the lap band to improve my life and the opinons of others did not matter. My male friend of 28 years told me that my weight did not matter to him. I quickly informed him that I was not doing it for him but for me. I have learned that it is none of my business what other people think or say about me as long as I am happy being me. Telling others is a personal choice and I am fortunate that I had friends who were supportive and 2 years post band are still supportive.

[JDUB0414 0]

I too didn't tell a lot of people. Even now 4 months later on my husband, mother, sisters, and 3 close friends know. I tell people I count calories. I don't need anyone to judge. So to keep my attitude in check, I just won't tell anyone. I have thought about telling some who are having the same problem with weight loss, but even those I will second guess.

[MSV529 0]

I have told my BF, my Mom, my BFF, one co-worker, my Dad, and his wife. Everyone is supportive except my Dad's wife, her motto, "I didn't take a pill, or have surgery to gain weight, therefore I won't do either to loose the weight." She's going to be some serious trouble after I am banded, but to be truthfully honest, I don't care because I am doing this for ME. Last time I checked, this IS MY BODY!!! My co-worker was supportive at FIRST, but she is now acting funny, and I haven't even had the surgery yet (Hatin' already! :thumbup:). I told her that it might not happen, and they need to run more test to be sure of some things, just to test the waters, and sure enough she went back to her old self. I am going to let her keep thinking that it won't happen, and then bam! So, I have made a promise to myself not to tell anybody else, I must say, a lifestyle change can really bring out the ugly in some folks!

[msjessy 0]

My immediate family knows. I'm not going to bother with extended family because they are all old-school and will never understand what I go thru or what this surgery will do for me.

I tried to keep it from my DH of 7 years, but he became extremely worried about me when he saw that I was having testing done with different specialists. He asked me one day out of the blue if I was about to die (seriously) because he was really concerned. I came out and told him then. He has been supportive and encouraged my decision......until tonight. He asked about the surgery and I saw a post here that they were showing the surgery on orlive.com, so we watched it together. He started to change his tune while watching it and is now very concerned because this is major surgery. I think he's just worried about what could (but will not) happen during surgery.

I also told my best friend, because she went thru this with the same surgeon a few months ago.

So it was my mom, sister, DH, best friend. I don't want to tell any of my coworkers, but will probably mention it to one. He is obese and is the greatest person. I think I am going to pass my surgeon's card to him during one of my company outings (I work from home) later this month.

I chose not to be open about this because I didn't want the first question out of everyone's mouth to be "How much have you lost?" everytime they see/talk to me. There is so much more to me than my weight.

[theninside 0]

Travel lady, have u been banded yet? I agree a sista has to take care of herself. How does the song go.. you just do u imma do me! so stick with your decision!

Msnika... I am in education as well (administration) so i know as i lose weight it will be all eyes on me.

I agree with the earlier post about thinking long and hard before telling. A friend of mine has the bypass and has handled it with so much class. I have told a couple of people my plans and now i am having second thoughts should i just not mention it anymore and attribute weight loss to nutrisystem:confused2: or something?

Where I'm from there have been a lot of obese educators losing a lot of weight lately. They would say oh i went to la weight loss or weight watchers. it took me a minute to realize that our ins. covered gastric bypass surgery!:cursing: Our ins just started covering the lap band last year.

Saying I use weight watchers is a method that I use now. I heard people make judgemental remarks about people getting surgery for weight loss. And no matter what procedure it is most people do lump everything under gastric bypass. That also is the reason I haven't put a pic up. With the exception of a few people I don't think everyone has to know

[Lowbmier 0]

My mom knows and that's it. I hope she doesn't feel pressured to keep this a secret even though I explained to her this is my life and my decision and I should make the decision to tell. Sometimes people are placed in situations where they slip and you wish you didn't have to tell anyone at all, but you do have to have someone with you for the surgery so someone has to know.

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

Good afternoon Sistas,

I've told my hubby (he's 100% supportive), my daughter (she wants to do it too, but is too young at only 17 1/2), and my good friend at work. My work friend and her hubby have both had gastric bypasses - hers is older, his is more recent.

He's lost over 60 pounds, and she's concerned about him getting too thin, but otherwise he's doing great. Thrown away the diabetes meds, etc, and is doing well. She's down 100 pounds from her previous high of over 300, and holding steady, but wants to lose more.

I'm looking to lose about 120 lbs, have my nutritionists' appt and a psych eval scheduled within 2 weeks, and can't wait to see if I get approved. No one at work knows - if I end up being scheduled for surgery, I'll only tell my supervisor / manager, and ask her not to say anything to anyone else, just let them know I'm having elective surgery.

No one needs to know what the specifics are, but the group here in the office seems to tell ALL of their business to everyone...I'm more closed-mouth about my personal business.

[stevegoad 32]

To tell or not to tell? That is the question.

Hey girlies how do you tell your family or friends that you are having or had wls?

Well, I am not a girlie, but I hope I can "weigh in."

I didn't tell most folks... my wife, my pastor, and two close friends know.

My mom, family, my coworkers, my boss, my Water aerobics class, none know, and hopefully never will.

My thoughts, it is none of their business what I am trying to do, how I am doing it, or (in the case of my mother) how I am paying for it.

I just tell them that I am cutting the carbs, and "restricting" my intake.

But that is me.

[*slim* 2]

In the beginning, I only told one person. She is a family member that has had gastric bypass. I wasn't going to tell anyway one else. I was separated at the time that I decided, so I didn't tell my husband. I later told one friend who has been somewhat supportive. I finally told my mother and husband. I have to be truthful and say that I wish I hadn't told either one of them. My mom can't keep a secret to save her life. I told her that I wasn't planning to tell anyone and she said, "well, I won't tell anyone else." WTF!!! I don't want everyone watching everything that I put in my mouth! I don't want people asking me if I can have that?