I'm so excited and terrified at the same time! I went out with a guy on Saturday night...and Monday night...and last night. He's called me every day since Saturday...and we email a couple times a day. He asked me out this Saturday- he wants to go to a super nice restaurant and made reservations.

As I'm writing this, it sounds so silly that I'm so surprised...but I have dated a whole bunch of players over the last four years or so and this actually feels really weird to have a guy be doing the right things. How do you get over the feeling that you don't deserve it?

He makes me laugh, he laughs at my jokes, he kisses like a rock star, and is so cute I just can't stand it. He hasn't even gone up my shirt yet!

At my heaviest, I found it easiest to date guys from large people personals. He's the first guy that I've dated in YEARS that I didn't find on one of those sites- he's from Match.com, actually. When I've dated a guy who I know likes big girls...I don't get nervous about getting naked. I tell my friends, "Ah, he knows his way around the back fat pretty well". Well, this guy didn't put that he was looking for a bigger girl in his profile so I'm so nervous but I've discovered that he knows his way around the back fat, too...so it's killing me to know if he's dated other bigger girls. I'm trying so hard to just sit back and not over analyze everything but it's so hard!

I haven't told him about the band yet. I'm nervous about that, but he is such a nice, non judgemental guy I think it will be ok. If it isn't, then he's not the guy for me I guess. I have to tell him soon or it will drive me crazy.

So..that's my excitement. Any tips on how to not over analyze and just enjoy it all?

Megan

Hope everything works out for you.

I too hope everything works out for you, but If it were me, I would wait a little bit more before telling him about your band. But thats just me, I don't want people to know, I can't take their negative critisism. Wishing you the best.

Your to cute!!! You sound so happy... I dont have a answer for you.. being its been 8years since i have dated. Im sure things have changed lol i dont know. He seems like a really nice guy. I say just have fun and enjoy the sun.... Hey itsnt Spring where everyone is Twitter Paitted (sp) From Bambi!! LOL I know its not spring yet.. but almost! Good Luck with everything Megan!

Good Luck to You! Just go with the flow, the right time will come up to tell him, especially if he made reservations at a steak house, and the steak don't go down!!LOL

Best Wishes to u girl......

Megan, You strick me as a very HONEST person and I think that is the reason you are having a hard time.

I would ask him everything I wanted to know. I would also tell him about the band. He will either answer the questions and be ok with the surgery you had or he won't. If he isn't then better to find out now than after your heart if fully engulfed.

Just my opinion.

Yay, Megan! You deserve some fun and I hope you find it with Mr. Right-for-now. Cool!

Now, how do you get over the feeling that you don't deserve it? It's hard, but you can do it. Time with this fellow will go a long way to changing your perspective on that, because you'll see that it's possible to be uplifted by a relationship, not cut down. And even if things don't work out with this fellow, you WILL meet someone who treats you with respect and love. Of course you deserve it!! :D

I'm editing to add that I don't necessarily agree there's any point in divulging the band to him anytime soon. It makes no difference to who YOU are; it's just a medical device! I've managed to go 18 months without telling coworkers who see me every single day.

Good Luck Megan, I hope this is your special someone!

Megan,

Sounds like you have a lot to be excited about. I'm not sure I would talk about my band yet. Take a little time to feel him out and just take it slow one day at a time and have FUN! You go girl!!! BTW, as cute as you are he should like you. :cheeky

I can hear the excitement in your post. Go with what you feel

Megan,

I met my hubby through an online matchmaking site.

He's almost too good to be true. I wish you the same happiness.

Not to put the cart before the horse...

But just to let you know that sometimes those things ACTUALLY work!

I wouldn't focus too much on letting him know all the details of your weightloss efforts right now. Just have fun getting to know each other. Your interests, expectations.

Best of luck...

Thats so cool, Megan! I really hope it all works out for you. It is very tough being single in this world today. You deserve someone to treat you nice!

The band issue is a hard one. Mainly because my life revolves around my band. How I eat, plans I make, how much I drink, etc. It's kind of hard for me to separate it from everything else. I have personals too and I just state in the ad that I have embarked on a weightloss journey and that I would love to meet someone who would support and encourage that endeavor. That seems enough unless and until I meet someone who sticks around long enough to talk about it at length.

After meeting you and seeing your wonderful sense of humor and enjoyment of life, how could anyone not like you!! And obviously, he sees these qualities in you also.

Go with your gut. You will know when it is the right time to discuss your band, eating habits, etc. Your heart will tell you.

Keep us updated.

You guys are the best! I so appreciate all the kind words and the advice. You've all given me lots to think about!

I'm going to try to just sit back and relax and enjoy every moment.

I have been listening to country music non stop and today I was looking in the fridge and realized I'd been staring into it for a good minute or two while thinking of making out. How funny.

Thanks again for all the well wishes.

Megan

Before banding...no way. After banding...if we just move the milk, the yogurt, and the cottage cheese there would be plenty of room :-)

Hee hee. Good one Jack

Megan

Megan,

He sounds like a nice guy. Take your time. You dont have to reveal your secrets until you trust him a little more. Better to go slow and get to know him than to put your heart out there yet. Give it a few more dates and you will know when the time is right to have this discussion. Just enjoy this time and see where things go.

Babs in TX

334/180

-154

new goal: 170