Donali inspired me to start this new thread. She has been providing information to us regarding Morbid Obesity being a disease, which is a very powerful topic for all of us.

Lately I've been discovering that there are many different categories that we fit in, so I was wondering what category you are in. I don't have labels for the categories, but let me start by telling you why I am obese.

First, my family history includes severe mental illness (Mom, aunt, etc.) I inherited a branch of mental illness - Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which had me extremely ill in my youth. My panic attacks have been under control for years, but I still have many anxiety-related problems, one being that I never stop thinking, and at night, the thoughts are consumed by food. Part of the reason I'm obese is becaseu I can't fight the mental struggle to eat for long periods of time. That part of my brain is stronger than the sensible part.

But my biggest problem is portion control. I'm obsessed by enormous quantities of food. I simply don't understand how anyone could order just one taco, or have a small serving of anything. With me, it's all or nothing. I would rather fast all day than to eat one chicken thigh. It's torture. A half gallon of ice cream is two servings. A family dinner is two servings.

And mine is all a night time disorder. Someone baked us fresh Cookies, all warm and steamy, and I didn't even look at them. I don't give a damn about food during the day. I feel like a monster.

well, if you eat 2000 cals pre band, and it was enough to put weight on you, then if you eat the same after the band it will still do the damage it did before. You have to diet when you have the band, and eat less. Ive found I can eat the things I like within reason because NOW I dont eat as much of them, say, one chocolate buiscut instead of half a packet.

half a bag of chips instead of 4 packets !!!

you naturally eat less with the band if your fill is right but you can put those calories away without even noticing

for instance, yesterday, I ate a tin of chicken soup

then

a bag of toffee popcorn, 4 chocolate buiscuts (100 cals each)

a pint of milk

a packet of mints

and when I added it all up it came to about 2000 calories

yet the only thing half ways decent there was the tin of chicken soup!!

I knew what I was doing though as Im a year banded and know what I can and cant get away with, so today Im having home made soup and nothing else to make up for my deliberate mistake.

now and again I think "sodddit im going to indulge" and it does no harm providing I can sort myself out next day"

diet is a horrible word to us, but honestly, its a lot lot lot lot easier with the band, and its the last one youll ever have to go on

for instance, yesterday, I ate a tin of chicken soup

then

a bag of toffee popcorn, 4 chocolate buiscuts (100 cals each)

a pint of milk

a packet of mints

and when I added it all up it came to about 2000 calories

So by having the band you still managed to eat all that. The band then has not stopped you from consuming more than you should?

My problem and like thousand of others is not what I am eating but is the amount I am eating. I have not been banded yet that is happening on May 12th but I am reading through different parts of this forum and I am now starting to question should I have this band fitted. I am having the band fitted in Belguim and it will cost me altogether including travelling just on £4000. I don't want to pay out all of that if I am still going to be in the same position as I would be without the band. I fail at diets as I am so :hungry: . Am I just trying to talk my self out of having this band. :help:

the band -as everyone says, is a tool to help you eat less. it wont stop you eating the wrong stuff but even then, if your fill is right, you cant eat the amounts of the wrong stuff that you eat now.

I was never ever full, or satisfied, and that list above was my whole days eating, at one time it would have been an in-between meals snack !!

you can still eat chocolate with the band, and sweets, and bickys, and ice cream and milkshakes, but you stay away from them, and its easier to do that with the band, simply because for example, you will have your breakfast of say, a bowl of "oat so simple" or ordinary porridge and it will be a 1/4 of the size of bowl you would normally have, then you simply dont want anything else to eat till lunch time when you have say a tin of soup and maybe a yoghurt, then you will forget about eating until dinner time, when you have your small dinner then you could have rice pudding for sweet. maybe by 9pm you might feel like eaing something, you wont be hungry though -just feel like eating, and you could have a couple of ryvitas with cheese on or some jam then that will be you, not able to eat another thing. Even if someone put a huge cream cake in front of you you couldnt eat it, you will feel physically sick at the thought of it. HONESTLY. I felt the same as you, I couldnt imagine I would ever feel like that, as I was always ready to eat more, nomatter what Id just had to eat. ONCE your filled correctly, which takes some time but you might be lucky as friends of mine have and get it right first time.

yesterday I just decided Iwas going to have some bickys and some sweets,it was my decision, I chose to do it, It wasnt uncontrolable, I didnt hate myself for eating the rubbish, I didnt feel guilty as I would have done normally, notice I had 4 chocky digestives and not the packet?? that was all I could manage. and ive lost over 140lbs in a year, if I could diet I would never have gotten to over 400lbs, and if I found it easy to do I wouldnt have ever gotten big in the first place.

the band makes you eat less of everything, but if you chose to drink lots of booze and eat lots of chocolate, then you will gain,not lose, weight. If you follow the rules of the band, which you will get when you have the op. then you wont go wrong. Just because the band is there it doesnt mean it neutralises calories and you can eat whatever you like and wont gain weight, it helps you curb your eating in a big way, Ive had to try hard somedays, (never as hard as I did pre band though) and some days its been a struggle to eat anything. but my son, who has also been banded has never had to try, he naturally just eats less than he did before.

no nutrition or worrying about vitamins for him, oh no, he just eats what doesnt hurt, refuses to eat veggies only sweet corn !! and has lost 80lbs since last July.

he used to get a whopper meal and then another one plus a milkshake on his way home from work before he had his dinner !! now he has a pork chop, some mashed spuds and sweetcorn for his dinner and thats him, done for the night till the next lunch time. And beleive me, he was an eater of the first order. I envy him his ability to eat a pork chop though

all be it it takes him over an hour. lol

follow the rules, it will work, but expect it to do all the work for you and you not have to worry about how you eat or what you eat or the amount you eat, then it wont work

its like buying an electric drill and taking it back to the shop cos you got up the next morning and the drill was still sitting in its box and those shelves still werent put up.! putting up shelves is a lot easier with a drill than without one, and losing weight with the band is a hec of a lot easier than without it.

£4000 ? youll save that in food in a year trust me I know. lol

Wow, as I read through these threads, my heart goes out to those of you who suffered abuse at the hands of those who should love you most...your family. I am proud of you all for making the strides in life that you obviously have...AMAZING!!!

My "why am I FAT" story is different. I was raised in a loving environment, was catered to with my eating, if I didn't like what was for dinner, my Mom made me something else. I remained thin my entire childhood. My Dad struggles with his weight, but nothing like where I am now, he is 6'4" and has topped out at 250 pounds, and he exercises, and watches what he eats, and keeps it under 230. He has serious health issues with his arteries and heart, so he is very into keeping it under control. My Mom is a little heavy, nothing extreme, has never had to buy plus sizes! My only brother is stick thin, and well over 40 yrs. old. he was injured in a car accident when he was 18, and is mentally challenged now, although coping and living independently, and self supporting (more than many "normal" people seem able to do!).

Now me...as I say, I was very thin, through my childhood, first marriage, having a child, back down to under 150 lbs, and at 5'9" that was fine. Then I made a massive mistake, and married my 2nd husband. He was abusive from the beginning, he broke both my bones and my spirit for awhile. People always ask why I stayed. When my ex would get in a rage, he would threaten my family...not just me. He would say things like maybe it was time to pay my brother a visit, or go tell my Grandparents a thing or 2. So I stayed and took it. THEY did not marry him I did, I could not be responsible for getting them hurt. And he would do it, he threatened a friend, and hospitalized him. So I beleived. Well, into the marriage a couple of years, he wanted to move to TX, I saw it as my way out, I had no family in Texas for him to threaten me with, so we moved. One day as I was biding my time, we were in the laundry area of our apt. complex when this overweight woman come in, and he tells me, "if you ever gain weight like that you are GONE!" And the mold was set, I did everything in my power to gain, I ate butter straight out of the Country Crock tub! And then I found Weight Gain through GNC........well true to his word, he hated it, and the beatings got worse. I finally made arrangements for my daughter (from the first marriage--who's Dad had now also moved out of state) to go visit Grandma back in NM. And I was ready to make my move to leave. Things did not go real well, he went into yet another rage, and did his best to kill me. 7 stab wounds, and 3 broken bones later, I finally managed to leave...albeit by ambulance, but he was on the run, and I was OUT!! I was elated! I flew home the day I was released from the hospital. But my eating to be "unseen" had just begun. I no longer trusted my judgement in men or anything else for that matter. I did not want anyone to look at me. Being fat was fine. I found a friend in food. And so I ate, ate and ate some more!! Meanwhile they finally found and arrested my husband, and I had to go back for the trial. But they locked him away for awhile on an attempted murder charges. He eventually got out, and come back to New Mexico and harrassed me, but has finally been locked up again for assault on a P.O. and an armed robbery and shooting with the intent to kill, which was his final felony strike, so will not even be eligible for parole until 2036. I feel safe. But habits had been born, and nurtured, and still I ate. A lot!! I love potatoes...fried, mashed, any way... chips, comfort foods, are (were!!!) my big downfall.

But also finances played a part. When I was struggling to restart after all of this, I knew a nice lean piece of meat and a salad was healthier for my daughter and I, but macaroni & cheese out of a box and hot dogs were what the budget allowed. And ill fitting teeth following mine being knocked out, made pasta and potatoes much easier to eat.

Well way back when between husband #1 and husband #2 I met a man and I do mean a MAN...made of what ALL men should be made of! We dated, even lived together for awhile, but he was off to school in the big city, and I could not go (divorce restrictions on leaving the state with our daughter), so we went our separate ways. I continued through the years to be in contact with his family. Well one night he called me out of the blue. We talked for 5 hours on the phone. For the first time I felt ashamed about my looks. I told him, he seemed to be unconcerned. He come to town, and once again took control of my heart. He has never, ever said one negative thing about my weight. But he is of normal weight for his height, and is quite active. He loves his motorcycle and wants me to go with him to ride, and I feel like everyone is looking at me. He wanted to buy me leathers for the bike, I told him it would take 10 cows!

We have been married now for 7 years, and I am finally happy again, and trust him, and eventually my own judgement, and I no longer feel the need to hide behind this. Now the decision was easy.....doing it will be much harder. Hubby supports the decision, and will be right by my side as I go through it on the 24th of this month. He has changed his own habits to help me along already. He has begun making lunch while at work his big meal, and therefore we have a light dinner. I feel ready for this next step, and look forward to feeling what you all have talked about as you lose the weight.

As I go forward with this I look forward to the support I am sure I will find here!!

Kat

Wow Kat - that was an amazing story, thanks for taking the time to share it with us. It sounds like you finally married a real man this time, much better than that abusive psycho.

With his support and your resolve, I know you're going to do so well. You deserve to have a better life; now you will have it. :clap2:

Arline

Let's see; the issues are many.

I was very active as a professional athlete, and burned off everything I ate and drank. When I retired, I continued to eat as always, but couldn't burn it off. Then my knees turned arthritic, so I really had no excercise. But I kept eating.

My eating habits were also horrid, including large bites, insufficient chewing, eating too fast and leaving nothing on my plate. I worked in Vegas hotels Food & Beverage Depts. where the food was fantastic, free and plenty.

So, after yo-yoing for years and years, I finally put up the white flag (which in retrospect was a bit late and not as embarrassing as I thought it would be). The banding was the best thing to happen to me in ages. I've had both knees replaced, lost 90 lbs. (maintaining for the past eight months), and am playing hockey with guys half my age. The bestest part is keeping up with my 3 1/2 year old son! Never would've happened without the band.

My best recommendation to anyone pondering this issue; I'd do it again in a heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is a restaraunt in Louisiana we used to go to that served baskets of fried pickles. Crisp and good. You brought back memories. I wouldn't eat one now though. Stelis2

Ok, I just saw this thread after 15 pages, LOL.

Why I am fat, hmmm. well as a child and teen I was extremely thin even under weight. I danced and gymnastics for hours everynight. I could eat and drink and not worry about it. When I was 15 1/2 I became pregnant. (on purpous). I gained 65lbs and all the nurses and doctors only shook their heads at me instead of helping me. I never did lose the weight completely. Then we moved and I gained more weight. We moved again and I still didn't lose. Then I had another kid. When I was pregnant I actually lost weight before I gained it. Then after him I gained a little more. Then I had another child 3 years later and I gained but then when she was about 2 I got down to 145lbs. I was 25lbs away from my goal weight. Then I have no clue what happened I just started gaining again. I was on the Atkins diet to lose the weight but after trying it a bunch of different times. I guess it is true that when you go off the diet that you gain it all back and then some. My husband claims that because I was getting compliments that I figured that I didn't need to try any longer. I disagree.

I enjoyed being pregnant very much and I guess, and my fat belly resembles a pregnant belly. I have thought about this a lot, and that is my theory. I also eat when I am bord and stressed. I also have a portion control issue.

To be 100% honest, I feel like I am in a fat suit and I can't get out. I hate it! I am ready to change it and that is why I got the band, I am ready to shed the pregnant belly look. I am ready to have my slender body that I know is underneath the fat suit!

I know it sounds corny but thats my story.

16 oz double tall mocha, light on the chocolate, with a splash of half and half at the top. Every day for the past 8-9 years. Sometimes two, sometimes larger.

I am fat because of bad eating behavior. I will never believe it's a disease. It's my fault.

I used to eat late, used to eat crazy sized proportions because I'd skip a meal or two, sometimes just have a snack the whole day, didn't exercise and thought I could eat whatever I wanted. Truth is, I would starve my body. By eating once or twice a day, I was making my body scared. I made it store all of the food I did manage to eat, which happened to be late evenings and silly ol' me wouldn't exercise either. I was just outright..WRONG to myself. I mistreated my body and my heart.

It was poor judgement of food and bad eating behavior.

Before I decided to do the lap band, about 3 weeks prior, I got up off of my arse and started to ride my bike. I started walking and biking and drinking 2 Protein shakes per day and a few bites of dinner. Before the surgery, I lost 8lbs on my own.

I look at the lapband as a friend. It's just a tool to help assist me in my weight loss goals. As I ride my bike on the road, I can feel the port inside...with some slight pain every now and then as I hit an incline or a bump and it reminds me of what I am really trying to accomplish.

Pain in my sides... or thorn in my arse. Hehehe...either way, it's with me, hopefully for the long run and it's like my drill sargaent.

Hi,

Just had to post my story - very similar to some I have read - but here goes.

I had a wonderful childhood - my parents would take me to the ends of the earth for my sport - which was synchronised swimming. I exercised every day - I was thin and ate anything I wanted. Of course in every field there are different shapes - I certainly wasn't the thinnest or the biggest - but I still felt FAT.

When I gave up synchro (because of a boy!!) I stopped exercising - but carried on eating exactly the same - the weight starting to creep on. I went to my first slimming club at 16 - lost a little bit but my metabolism was screwed up so it was a struggle from then on.

I got married and had my first baby at aged 25 - I gained 3 stone - I was told it would fall off! - It never did - instead I gained another 2 stone. Had my second baby at 29 - gained a further 2 stone.

So 3 years later still carrying all that extra weight - I was 20 stone (believe me in the UK when we talk about stones - 20 is a shocker!!) That is when I decided to look into the lap-band. I had tried many diets - I could never stick to any of them for more than 2 weeks - I tried slimming tablets Xenical - BAD reaction!!

Then on February 11th 2006 I had my lap band fitted. Since then I have lost 24 pounds, have started swimming again (its the only thing I can do!) and even did an aquafit lesson on Tuesday - my calves are killing me today!!)

This tool that we have is the only thing that has ever worked for me and I can now see me reaching my goal - it was never going to happen before.

The only sad thing is that people are starting to notice that I am losing weight and commenting on it - while this feels great I get very embarrased and blush - its like while I am fat I am invisible and now people are noticing me - its gonna take a lot to get used to.

Thanks for listening to me.

Jen

why am I fat?

Perfect timing for that question -

My mother just call yesterday and told me she had found a card I made for her back in 3rd grade for mother's day. (fyi- I was an average sized kid until I had my tonsils out in 2nd grade - and then food just tasted better - my mom's theory)

the card read:

What "MOM" means to me -

......it means homemade Cookies

......it means cake and brownies

......it means lots of hugs

......it means lots of kisses

......it mean buttered popcorn and chips n dip

......it mean family but most of all it means love

My mom and I agree that those foods listed above were part of my life. My mom was always baking for us and for her demons - she was a lonely/emotional eater. I learned many bad habits from her. Unlike my life today, fast food was not part of our lives back then. We just had too many wrong foods available in our house.

Today, my problem is fast food - it is too easy. I also don't know when to stop until it is too late. (things that I am working on now :party: )

I also find that my energy level is at an all time low. (working on that too- actually raked the back yard for 1 hour today - this is big!!)

My husband is very supportive and wants to work with me on change.

My oldest (11) knows my struggles and is very helpful. We had supper at Subway last night - and she told me we should cut McDonald's down to once a week. She also asked if we could do our "Mother/Daughter walk and talk" again.

Looking forward to change and better health - for me, my husband and my kids!!

Can't wait for that band.

For me, My parents never tried any of that, my whole family is overweigt. When I was 14 I weighed 180 to 190 pounds. And I was well proportioned, but I felt fat even though everyone else told me I wasnt that big. When I turned 15 my thyroid began to slow down on me if not stop completely, and I gained 80 more pounds in a matter of like 4 months. And it slowly gained in numbers until now I am at 264. I am a binge eater, I go all day without eating and then at night I eat and eat. I am also addicted to fast food, which I have went without for 3 months now. I am not big on candy however I like potatoes ALOT!!! I know most of it is my fault but I still tend to blame my thyroid. I am always thinking that if the doctors ever figure out why it isnt working then they will be able to treat it and the weight will just come right back off. However, None of that has happened for 5 years, so I need to take the innitiative and do something that I know will work for me.

I feel like I did this yesterday in my psych assessment.

Why am I fat?

1. I was an active child, but when my breasts popped out as 36C at age 11, I found my balance off, and I tended to turn to reading or watching TV. Also, I found as I became heavier, boys didn't tease me about my breasts as much. I hid behind the weight.
   
2. Summer of 8th grade I did lose from size 13 to size 8 and maintained it for two years. Fast food my junior and senior years got me back to size 13.
   
3. I discovered the wonder of walking in college. I was walking to class more than I had ever walked and losing weight. I could still have pizza and beer and maintain 125 lbs.
   
4. Alas, a career in radio -- sitting and talking -- got me up to 285 at age 30. I did the Shaklee diet and lost 122 lbs in four months.
   
5. My biological clock was ringing loud at age 35, and I spent the next five years dating and searching for Mr. Right. All that fast food, restaurants, and home BBQs just added pounds back to 285.
   
6. My mother died in her sleep on Christmas Day when I was 39. I had lost my best friend in the family. I gained 100 lbs. (385) in next three years.
   
7. My boyfriend died of a heart attack at age 48. So, I felt that my dream of children and marriage was over. I gained another 65 pounds (450).
   
8. Finally, I finished my grief issues and got my act together. Started walking and lost 68 lbs. THEN I fell down the front steps carrying out the Thankgiving dinner, injuring my left leg. I gained back the weight, and may have a lymphedema problem with that leg now -- the doctors say it is a tumor after the CAT Scan.

So, why am I fat? Emotional eating plus not getting off my rear enough to exercise.

This was the best thread that I've read so far. I'm new to this site and just discovered it the other day and I can't keep myself off of it.

I'm planning on getting banded this summer and I've always wondered if the band could help me because I'm (like all of you) are an emotional eater. I've dwelled on my weight since elementary school (I'm now 46). I could identify with so much of everyone's story.

I was a pudgy kid and my brother and sister teased me all the time. I guess I learned to turn to food for comfort and it became my friend (even though I've always had lots of people friends). And it has been my friend ever since.

I've worried whether or not the band could help an emotional eater like myself but as I read your stories, I see that there is hope out there for me and that I can do this with the help of the people on this site. I have a three year old and I don't want her growing up with a fat Mom and thinking that it's okay to be fat. I don't want her to grow up with the turmoil that I've felt all these years. Nor do I want her to lose her Mom at an early age because I developed one of the diseases that goes along with being Severely Obese. So I'm praying that the band will help me.

Sarah

not banded yet

current weight 193

5'3"

goal 120 something (never have been there)