Donali inspired me to start this new thread. She has been providing information to us regarding Morbid Obesity being a disease, which is a very powerful topic for all of us.

Lately I've been discovering that there are many different categories that we fit in, so I was wondering what category you are in. I don't have labels for the categories, but let me start by telling you why I am obese.

First, my family history includes severe mental illness (Mom, aunt, etc.) I inherited a branch of mental illness - Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which had me extremely ill in my youth. My panic attacks have been under control for years, but I still have many anxiety-related problems, one being that I never stop thinking, and at night, the thoughts are consumed by food. Part of the reason I'm obese is becaseu I can't fight the mental struggle to eat for long periods of time. That part of my brain is stronger than the sensible part.

But my biggest problem is portion control. I'm obsessed by enormous quantities of food. I simply don't understand how anyone could order just one taco, or have a small serving of anything. With me, it's all or nothing. I would rather fast all day than to eat one chicken thigh. It's torture. A half gallon of ice cream is two servings. A family dinner is two servings.

And mine is all a night time disorder. Someone baked us fresh Cookies, all warm and steamy, and I didn't even look at them. I don't give a damn about food during the day. I feel like a monster.

I am fat because I am lazy and bored, plain and simple. I was a popular teenage cheerleader and basketball player, (looking back now I know I was thin and cute, but didn't think so at the time). Very active in high school and I worked part time. My mom did everything, cooked good meals, cleaned the house, did laundry. I had no responsiblity at home and never learned to cook, so now as an adult, my husband does more than his share of household stuff. I sit and stare at a computer at work all day for over ten years now and ate nothing but junk while doing it. I'd go home and eat very unhealthy supper, eating out because I can't, or don't want to cook, sit and watch TV the rest of the night, and that has been going on for many years now. When I got pregnant the first time, I thought that gave me license to eat even more and do even less, and I was honestly shocked when the weight didn't fall off after the baby came out, I had never had a weight problem before so I really was shocked at how big I got. I hate healthy food and LOVE all the junk.

It's all my fault and now I am paying for it.

no dissrespect.. but i wish I got fat that way..

Not really but GAWD I feel exhausted with life at the moment and want someone to TAKE CARE OF ME!! (I say not really cuz I have been coddled before and it did me NO good!)

wahhh

My parents showed us love by providing food. My mother cooked healthy food and we were expected to clean our plates. If we didn't like what she cooked it was taken as personal rejection. I grew up almost an only child with my sister 10 years older. We had no close neighbors with kids and no activities during the summer unless it was working in the garden. My parents grew up in the depression and knew what it was like to do without, they were determined we never would. Somehow I think it was a combination of eating for entertainment and out of a sense of loyalty and gratitude that led to food being my "abusive lover". I have been banded since Nov. 18, 2005 and have lost a total of 51 lbs including my presurgery diet. Food is still my lover. It is more like a dating relationship now than a live in arrangement. I am trying to learn to set boundaries and the band is helping.

Corliss

373/356/322 Goal-Onward and Downward!

Because I eat too much

I'm just big boned.

Yes, thats right, I have a 200 pound skeletal structure. No... reallly.

Now can you have junk (once a week or so)

I had chicken cutlets tonight, I could only eat one..the old days I could eat...5 or 6..or more..

Well I'm at the half way mark...I had 90 to loose and as of today..I'm down 45...it can happen!

I think I can blame a number of different things. First I have a thyroid problem, but I know that alone doesn't cause all my problems. I also blame diets. I have always been heavy. I never obessed on food until I started to diet. I have to be thankful for this thread. I am trying to quit smoking. I have been gaining weight the entire time I haven't been smoking two months now without a cigarette. I think I was using non smoking as an excuse to eat badly. I think reading these posts made me see what I was doing to myself.

I was banded on 10-21-04

240/192/130 was 180 two months ago

I felt the need to revisit this thread to see what I originally wrote. Sadly for me, nothing has changed. I was doing fairly well on counting calories until these past few days when dinners started getting sloppy. I'd like to blame my husband for leaving huge pizzas on the counter instead of tucking them out of site, but I can't control or blame the world around me.

I had a bad binge episode tonight. It wasn't as bad as past binges but it could lead me there. Something about stuffing too much food in my stomach (to the point of pain) makes me want to stuff even more in as soon as the pain subsides. It's been several hours since I ate all that food, and I'm still full, but since the pain is gone I'm clenching my teeth wanting to eat more. I'm so afraid of eating that I took a Lortab (narcotic pain med) since they act like diet pills for me.

I'm an addict one way or the other. My stomach is stuffed with enough calories to take me through tomorrow, I'm mentally, emotionally and spiritually bankrupt to the point I broke down crying over today's eating episode, and I'm becoming more and more defensive over people at LBT picking apart my feelings and thoughts as if I'm bad, wrong, cruel or judgmental.

Based on my addictions, I'm beginning to question whether LBT is a good place for me. Even on threads I don't participate in, I'm seeing people debating over why we're all fat. There is no one reason! Some of us have similar food addictions and obsessions, but we get verbally smacked around by a few others that can't understand how obsession reigns over common sense and good food choices.

I don’t mean to piss people off but I’m brutally honest by nature so I tend to offend some folks.

To Dawn in MN,

Kudos for quitting smoking and trying to deal with eating at the same time!!!! I also feel like my weight problem got worse when I started to diet. You're either on a diet or off, and when I was "off" I gave myself permission to do very bad things. I'm trying to think of it as an every day lifetime commitment rather than a diet.

I've also found that dieting in recent years much harder, from no fat to no carb, what's next???. I go from one to the other. In the end, there is only nutritious food and non-nutritious food.

Has anyone else had a problem with too many diets giving mixed messages?

Mags

I admit, I have no discipline at all when it comes to food...I can tell you im on a diet and be eating cookies 5 minutes later. :hungry:

Could it be posible not to advertive on lapbandtalk...?

Why not? whats

Has anyone else had a problem with too many diets giving mixed messages?

Mags

Yes... I'm either on or off a diet. And when I'm off of the diet it's look out food! I'm amazed at how much I can eat and not be satisfied.

I've always heard a food addiction is so hard to give up because it's not like you can go "cold turkey" and turn food away from your life forever. It's a battle I'm so tired of fighting.

I told my surgeon I'm just can't fight this fight any longer.... He seemed to empathize.

That's why I'm here... is to be with others who understand the fight. I also am not looking for a judgement, just someone with something in common.

This is such a complex topic and I've read so many things I relate to. Basically I was thin until my mid 20s - could eat ANYTHING and not gain. So I got into the habit of eating whatever I wanted - lots of southern cooking. Got a little older, slowed down after I got married, had a few female problems and their subsequent 'treatments', got fat. I LOVE to GORGE myself on food. I can eat a whole serving bowl of pasta and butter. It is one of my favorite gorge foods. Not much of a sweets eater, but love the salt. Went from 95 pounds at 18 years old to 135 in my early 30s to 185 in my mid 30s, to 230 in my late 30s. Lost down to 180 again when I was 40 and now at 46 am 290 pounds. I am fat and disgusted with myself. I don't like to exercise because I get tired (duh!) and i hate the way I look. When I see myself I just want to scream! I need to eat less, it's not rocket science, but why can't I? I'm not 'hungry' excessively but I DO have appetite excessively - two completely different things. I crave things when my body/stomach isn't even asking for food. I hate this. I'm still wavering on getting the band and I wonder WHY? Am I going to have to have a stroke first? AND a little voice in my head says "you won't be able to eat all that good stuff any more, don't do it". GEEZ little voice SHUT UP!

Hi, I'm researching getting banded and trying to read as much "real" info from banded people. Getting questions answered and weighing...no pun intened...the pros and cons for me.

I've always been a "big" girl...not really fat when I was younger but that quickly changed....have a lot of hormone problems and I swear that has a lot to do with it. I also have a huge appetite like many here and an an emotional binger. I have bi-polar health problems and have a lot of manic episode when I want to hurt myself....my hurt of choice is food. This is why I need to feel that the banding is right for me. I've been on every diet possible...can stay on it for about a month...loose 15 to 20 pounds and then regain all+ like many of you. This has been a life long stuggle and I need to end the stuggle somehow. I am so full of self loathing it makes me sick....I'm a bit scared of the surgery but I can't live like this forever...I don't think I can make it and it def is not healthy for me as I obsess about it every day!

Thanks for listening!