Donali inspired me to start this new thread. She has been providing information to us regarding Morbid Obesity being a disease, which is a very powerful topic for all of us.

Lately I've been discovering that there are many different categories that we fit in, so I was wondering what category you are in. I don't have labels for the categories, but let me start by telling you why I am obese.

First, my family history includes severe mental illness (Mom, aunt, etc.) I inherited a branch of mental illness - Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which had me extremely ill in my youth. My panic attacks have been under control for years, but I still have many anxiety-related problems, one being that I never stop thinking, and at night, the thoughts are consumed by food. Part of the reason I'm obese is becaseu I can't fight the mental struggle to eat for long periods of time. That part of my brain is stronger than the sensible part.

But my biggest problem is portion control. I'm obsessed by enormous quantities of food. I simply don't understand how anyone could order just one taco, or have a small serving of anything. With me, it's all or nothing. I would rather fast all day than to eat one chicken thigh. It's torture. A half gallon of ice cream is two servings. A family dinner is two servings.

And mine is all a night time disorder. Someone baked us fresh Cookies, all warm and steamy, and I didn't even look at them. I don't give a damn about food during the day. I feel like a monster.

"Why am I Fat" ? For me that is not a very hard question to answer - I'm fat because I over eat. The really hard question to get my head around is "Why do I over eat"?

I'm fat because I eat more calories that I burn. Sharlene

I'm a Carbo-holic!!!

I LOVE pastries and Breads in all kinds and shapes.. Carbs used to be my best friend, but not anymore ..

I thought i'll be sad not being able to eat carbs, I WAS WRONG!!! I never been happier shedding lb's and not even thinking of a piece of bread or a slice of Pizza :lalala:

I am fat because I have an eating disorder. I went through the binge and purge stage, then just the binge stage. I eat at night mostly and usually carb loaded crap until I feel like I am going to burst. Food was always my escape, when I felt bad I would binge and purge, when I was happy I would binge and so on. My body was so confused that it just held onto everything I put into it. I addressed these issues with a councelor and my PCP who referred me to the band. So far so good two weeks in and with their help over the last year I am on the road to recovery.

I just love the taste and textures of life! I love cashmere for the way it feels, the snap of a good pickle, the spicy flavor of curry, the smells of cuury! The smell of frying peppers and onions. If I was not so in tune with my senses, food would not be so wonderful. I have always loved to cook, too! Myabe I should get my nose and tongue removed! Hahahaha!

OHHHHH Drekalina!!!! I absolutley LOVE textures and tastes too. My 100% 500 count cotton sheets, the taste of cheesecake, the smell of freshly cut grass or wild honeysuckle, the touch of my husbands carresses or a newborn baby, etc.... I could go on and on.

Lynn

well, how about the smell of the smoke from a campfire on a crisp autumn night? Or the feeling of a big glob of smooth pudding as it glides off the spoon, across your lips and settles heavy onto your tongue before you swallow. (Gosh, it almost sounds sexual..sorry about that...nothing intended. ) Even the feeling of good, new, thick sox on sore tierd feet! My sister always makes fun of me for being a texture freak. My sheets are VERY important to me , too!

personally I blame the nuns, I have a problem with leaving food on my plate. Afterall there are still many starving children in the world. I would like to ask them if I need to be fat to make up for other people not having enough to eat. I can remember as a child of 10 finishing an adult size steak dinner. I remember I was so stuffed my stomach hurt and I was struggling to get the last french fries down because I didn't want to leave food on my plate. I will never tell my children to clean their plates. The problem plagues me to this day.

personally I blame the nuns, I have a problem with leaving food on my plate. Afterall there are still many starving children in the world. I would like to ask them if I need to be fat to make up for other people not having enough to eat. I can remember as a child of 10 finishing an adult size steak dinner. I remember I was so stuffed my stomach hurt and I was struggling to get the last french fries down because I didn't want to leave food on my plate. I will never tell my children to clean their plates. The problem plagues me to this day.

personally I blame the nuns, I have a problem with leaving food on my plate. Afterall there are still many starving children in the world. I would like to ask them if I need to be fat to make up for other people not having enough to eat. I can remember as a child of 10 finishing an adult size steak dinner. I remember I was so stuffed my stomach hurt and I was struggling to get the last french fries down because I didn't want to leave food on my plate. I will never tell my children to clean their plates. The problem plagues me to this day.

I agree I never ever make my kids finnish if they tell me they are full. And another problem is 20 years ago adult portions were the size of kids portions, but NOW they are HUGE.

I have been overweight most of my life, I am also hearing impaired (I wear hearing aids but I can speak very well) and wear thick glasses. Most of you I imagine will agree, School from K-12: SUCKED!

I had spinal menegitis when I was 2 yrs old and almost died from it. The docs said I had a 50-50 chance on the meds they were giving me but even if I was cured I would be blind or deaf from the amount and types of meds they had to give me at my age and a good chance of brain damage, luckliy no brain damage occured and I ended up being Hearing Impaired (about 10% hearing in each ear, so hence the hearing aids)

My mother was a druggie and more concerned with drugs and her freinds than me. She was physically abusive as well as emotionally abusive to me. Her idea of dinner or lunch was to pop a bag of popcorn or open a bag of chips for me. My father worked 2 jobs most of my childhood, he was not blame for any of this from my view becuase of stupid laws he had to wait and build his case in order to ensure that he got custody of his kids and not my druggie mother. So she left when I was 11 but the damage was done. Despite the best efforts of family my eating and weight kept going up, up and AWAY!.

Becuase of my early upbringing and lack of...I dunno what to call it maybe "love", "emotional development", etc. I never connected with my peers at all (no freinds, and any that tried got pushed away, hard), no romantic life (trust issues as well as a lack of knowing how to connect with another human being). So I have had a few suicide attempts, and...yeah, thats kinda my story...any questions send them to me as a PM and I will answer.

Hi everyone!

I'm new to the board, and as soon as I saw this thread, I had to stop what I was doing and start reading! Unfortunately, I'm under a bit of a time constraint, so I haven't been able to read all of your stories.

The main reason I'm fat is because I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, and I went undiagnosed basically from the time I was 12 up until 2 1/2 years ago. Oh, it wasn't from lack of trying to find answers. The doctors just never could find anything wrong. When my new OB/GYN told me what the problem was I was relieved. At least I wasn't crazy!

But while that is the main reason, it's not the only one. At the age of 13, I suddenly developed this little pot belly, and started hearing things like "Wow Kelly! You are getting so round!" "Kelly, you probably shouldn't eat that." "Doctor, why is Kelly overweight?" That really hurt, but I just stuffed it down and tried harder. When the diet failed, I felt like I had failed, and just gave up. I'd go right back to eating whatever I wanted. I'd sneak snacks up to my room so my parents wouldn't know. That just made me feel worse. You see where I'm going with this?

The control issue REALLY hits home! Once I started working, that was exactly the problem. My family lived 45 minutes away from the biggest city, so I had to spend lots of time on the road. And being 45 minutes away from home...well, who'd know what I ate? It didn't help that I worked at a fast food joint. I remember that one time one the way home from work, I hit every fast food drive thru, and convience store between my job and the highway. I even went out of my way for some. It was disgusting. When I got home, I found I was the only one there. I threw all the garbage out in the outside trash so no one would find it, and then went inside and threw up because I felt so gross. I vowed I'd never do that again.

Also, my family went through some real tough times. My parents have battled mental illness, the loss of their last child, near financial ruin...it didn't help that we didn't have the support of our church (we had no family in the area). As the oldest child, I took on the responsibility of keeping my 3 younger siblings together, and giving them a sense of normalcy, and didn't let anyone worry about me. Food was my friend and comforter at that time as well.

After that fateful binge, I kept my vow and never did that again, but I still had a problem with the defeatist attitude. The PCOS was still working against me, and everytime a diet failed and I gained back all the weight and more, I felt like a failure...one big cycle. I've since gotten into an environment that I feel nurtures me and helps me grow as a person. My family hates their part (well meaning as it was) in my ordeal and supports me 100% (they too are in a better environment, and have healed and are still healing thanks to God's grace). I know who I am and what I have to offer to this world. My choosing to go through weight loss surgery is so I can feel good about myself phsyically, and more importantly be healthy. I know what I need to do. This is for me and me alone. And if others are coming along with me for the ride and taking joy from whatever success I may have, that's just an added blessing.

kelly

Welcome Kelly--LBT is an awesome site, and you will find some of the best advice and support around right here. Take time to read through the threads, and see if you have anyone local to your area. We are glad you are here, and soon you will be so glad you made this decision!!! My band is a blessing!!! Only wish I had done it sooner!!!

Good Luck, and again, Welcome!

Kat

I am in the early stages of working toward band surgery, but I am whirl winding through my appointments so I can have the surgery in January. I am currently 235 lbs, 5'4". Was 272 bls, lost 55 on weight watchers in 2002-2003, at which time I reached a plateau and was not losing weight anymore. I became frustrated and stopped trying. Any time I tried to get reinvested, I was not seeing the results so I stopped trying. I was defeated by my own weight. I am disgusted now with myself, having put so much hard work into my weight loss and then to have gained a little weight back...MY BRAS ARE TIGHT. You women out there know that's a real problem. I decided to have the surgery and sometimes think I am making a rash decision. I really don't think I am in control of my weight. My doctor said it could be psychological (and the fact I was born with obviously no metabolism). My brother and I are obese, but no one else in the family. I would love to know why we are fat and why, even with hard work and dedication, I cannot control myself. I hope I am making the right decision.

Angyl2314--having surgery is a very personal, and at times, difficult decision. For me, I was more than ready. I too have been fighting my weight, and have been disgusted with my failures.

My advice is to make good and sure their isn't a medical reason for your weight problem (like a thyroid problem or like myself, I have PCOS) first. If it isn't something that can be fixed realitively simply, surgery might be your option.

But the biggest thing is that you have to be happy. Read everything you can find, ask as many questions as you have to. If you don't understand, ask again. I just found this site and am loving it, and I think you will too. As a nurse, I always tell my patients not to do anything they're not comfortable with. Go with your gut. And if surgery is for you, you'll know when you're ready.

kelly