I passed the mental health evaluation beforehand, but now I feel like I'm really depressed. I can't focus on anything, and I feel really bummed out all the time. I make my friends and family sad when I talk to them. My therapist and husband just tell me to think about all the good things I have going for me, but nothing helps. On top of everything else, I have a new job, and the stress of that is making everything worse. I don't really know what to do. I feel very lonely because no one knows what I'm going through in my real life.

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First, may I suggest shopping around for a new therapist? Your therapist’s advice to just “think about all the good things” you’ve got going seems very un-therapeutic to me; he/she sounds like they want you to push down your feelings instead of exploring them…? Which seems odd advice to be dispensed by a therapist. I dunno…

Second, nobody says you have to go through the surgery if you don’t feel ready. You can sit on it, talk it out with a (hopefully, different) therapist or a trusted friend, maybe deal with other life stressors first, etc.

In the meantime, you can also vent it out here if it helps alleviate the alone-ness feeling…you will find many in your same situation, and many others who went through it to the other side.

Hugs & Good luck ❤️

Have you considered getting a different therapist? Are you on antidepressants? You might just need a temporary med to help you as you get therapy to help you improve your mood.

By the way, I say this from experience as someone with Clinical Depression and anxiety who takes daily antidepressants (2) and sees a therapist monthly.

I agree with the above advice. Also, consider that you might be grieving for the loss of food as a comfort mechanism. Can you make an appointment with the bariatric therapist who approved your surgery? They can help untangle this.

And if you do decide to take an antidepressant (which is probably a good idea), make sure you talk to your doctor about taking one that's not likely to cause weight gain. There are a lot that can cause weight gain in some people, but there are many that do not.

Keep us posted!

If you are post surgery it could be your hormones going wacky on you. Mine did a bit and I just didn’t want to do anything for a couple of weeks but then it leveled out. How long Have you been seeing this therapist? Do you like them? Sometimes it is good to be reminded that we have good stuff going on in our lives too but I hope that is not really all your therapist is offering you in terms of help. Are you upset about something specific or just feeling down? If you are having a hard time with the loss of food like lizonaplane mentioned, the bariatric therapist may be better equipped to help you through that. If you do not feel that your therapist is helping you then try someone else. I went through several until I found the right fit.

On 1/11/2022 at 7:18 AM, ShoppGirl said:

If you are post surgery it could be your hormones going wacky on you. Mine did a bit and I just didn’t want to do anything for a couple of weeks but then it leveled out. How long Have you been seeing this therapist? Do you like them? Sometimes it is good to be reminded that we have good stuff going on in our lives too but I hope that is not really all your therapist is offering you in terms of help. Are you upset about something specific or just feeling down? If you are having a hard time with the loss of food like lizonaplane mentioned, the bariatric therapist may be better equipped to help you through that. If you do not feel that your therapist is helping you then try someone else. I went through several until I found the right fit.

totally agree, i thought i was going nuts once i realized it was my hormones and sorted them out i feel so much better. very few surgeon address this pre surgery and some dont recognise it post surgery either which is pretty poor considering how common it is. and yes you will be greiving food and going through a major life adjustment. so dont be hard on yourself. get a new theropist ( I had 2) one to address my adjustment disorder once he explained it made total sense. and the other ddressed my excessive worry. I then worked out on my own food was my best friend that i no longer had ..... its does get better even doesnt feel like it will right now...it does trust me i was a mess for the first 5 months