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Cranky, and irritable with my spouse



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Posted (edited)

10 months out and i still freeze when people give me compliments, I smile and say thank you. I feel like a imposter, loosing 100 pounds has freed me to be healthier and to hang out with my kids, so many good things have happened, yet I still feel like a fake for taking the “easy “ way out it was one of the hardest things I ever did was and trying new things wearing skinny jeans, walking working out not feeling self conscious about wearing a swim suit, I am a bit self conscious about saggy skin, but my husband says I’m still beautiful. No I need to try to accept that myself . Unfortunately he has gained some weight since I lost weight, and he is a bit more negative the he used to be, even his mom said dude chill out and that was eye opening to hear my mother in-law say. We signed up for a gym membership for the summer. I will try to go there more often. Thanks for listening any advice that helped you emotionally or otherwise TIA

Edited by Holodisplay

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Life is too short to follow arbitrary rules. “The easy way out according to whom”? There are no rules. We’re all making the best decisions for ourselves for our one life. When your children remember you or when you’re 90 and thinking about your life, I highly doubt feeling self-conscious in a bathing suit is going to be something of significance. My advice to you, easier said than done, is to live your life for yourself. Because nothing else really matters.

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You said it yourself: it was one of the hardest thing you’ve ever done. You need to keep reminding yourself of this because the hard work doesn’t end. The battle continues. You never get rid of the cravings or the emotional drives to eat or the old habits & the temptations to eat are always around us. We just learn to recognise them better & develop strategies to manage them.

People who say the surgery is cheating or the easy way are coming from a place of ignorance. They don’t know & don’t understand which is understandable if they have no point of reference. Then there are those who have weight issues but simply are not in the mindset to be proactive about their weight loss & they are critical (or envious) of those who are.

People never say to someone who joins a gym or uses a personal trainer that they took the easy way out. They congratulate them. Yet the PT & the gym memberships are just tools too. If you don’t use them & take advantage of the benefits they can offer nothing will change.

Enjoy your success.

PS - I have loose skin but I’d rather have that then be obese. Clothes cover it. The only person who really sees mine is me. The other person who sees yours says you’re beautiful!

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Posted (edited)

Then we could approach this from the other side...

Why would an easy way that works necessarily be bad? It's not 'real' weight loss if it doesn't involve suffering?

Good Luck,

Tek

Edited by The Greater Fool

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Tek has the right of it- I would never think to criticize a drug addict who checks into rehab, or a person who gets help paying off significant debt, so why is it that obesity is the situation where suddenly there is a certain amount of suffering and moral penance required?

I think you also may be experiencing a certain amount of body dysmorphia. A year ago I was 140 lbs heavier than I am today, and I keep having moments where I feel out of place in myself or confused at seeing my clothes/myself in a mirror. It’s ok to still feel a bit disjointed- stuff has changed fast, and your brain is still catching up to the new you!

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On 6/13/2021 at 5:50 AM, The Greater Fool said:

WLS is a different hard way.

Good luck,

Tek

This is good, I'm stealing this!

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