Confessing my Sins...

[BayougirlMrsS 3,673]

It has been a ruff few months. Back at the end of June my youngest (29) son admitted himself into rehab. He got out early-mid Sept. and has been living with us till his apartment is ready. My mom (72) is back on pain meds (she was addicted most of my childhood) and i'm always the person everyone in my family seems to think can "fix" everything.... I CAN'T. So i went to counseling a couple of time (she and i didn't connect) but stopped going. Until about a month ago my weight loss has been uncontrollable... i just kept losing and size 0 is on the edge of being too thin.

So, i'm here "confessing my sins" to y'all..... Some of the only people that understand. I confess I feel lost and scared. Tim has been a great support, but i know that having J living with us is a strain on both of us.... and confess to really wanting him out and on his own. I confess that i have been snacking lately instead of eating "correct" food. Yesterday i ate a hand full of chips and last night i ate two Cookies. I confess i have not been drinking enough. I confess to not exercising.

Don't know how, but woke this am a lb lighter........ BUTTTT......Today is Monday and it's a new day and I have to stay strong and do what i know to do and take my own advice.

Has anyone ever done a "life coach"? If so, tell me about it...

[Mr Alley Gator 259]

My x did one and she loved it - Worked for her during rough times for her.

Wish you the best of luck and stay focused

[VickieRenee 56]

4 hours ago, BayougirlMrsS said:

It has been a ruff few months. Back at the end of June my youngest (29) son admitted himself into rehab. He got out early-mid Sept. and has been living with us till his apartment is ready. My mom (72) is back on pain meds (she was addicted most of my childhood) and i'm always the person everyone in my family seems to think can "fix" everything.... I CAN'T. So i went to counseling a couple of time (she and i didn't connect) but stopped going. Until about a month ago my weight loss has been uncontrollable... i just kept losing and size 0 is on the edge of being too thin.

So, i'm here "confessing my sins" to y'all..... Some of the only people that understand. I confess I feel lost and scared. Tim has been a great support, but i know that having J living with us is a strain on both of us.... and confess to really wanting him out and on his own. I confess that i have been snacking lately instead of eating "correct" food. Yesterday i ate a hand full of chips and last night i ate two Cookies. I confess i have not been drinking enough. I confess to not exercising.

Don't know how, but woke this am a lb lighter........ BUTTTT......Today is Monday and it's a new day and I have to stay strong and do what i know to do and take my own advice.

Has anyone ever done a "life coach"? If so, tell me about it...

First of all ((hugs)). You are completely normal and only confessing to being human - like you said today is a new day. I have been in a similar situation and trust me I get feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and that even understanding and loving friends and spouses don't always feel like a safe space to unburden our worries. That said, I encourage you to keep looking for a therapist - they aren't all the right fit. I went through about 3 a couple years ago until I found the right person for me. Think of it as 'dating'... I don't have a life coach, but a career coach who thinks he's my life coach lol. Ultimately what helped me is to realize that I sometimes need a break and that it isn't selfish to recharge my batteries or put my oxygen on mask first as you say.

And if all else fails, we are always here. Feel free to PM me (if there is such a thing on here) and I'm happy to share my number and personal story or just be an ear. Hang in there - you are not alone.

[JAKE H 1,086]

Ive 100% been there. i got put onto some self help books. "the obstacle is the way" changed my life. i dont know if youre a reader but it changed my life. I know different things work for different people. Just thought id put it out there. You got this!

[BayougirlMrsS 3,673]

1 hour ago, JAKE H said:

Ive 100% been there. i got put onto some self help books. "the obstacle is the way" changed my life. i dont know if youre a reader but it changed my life. I know different things work for different people. Just thought id put it out there. You got this!

i do love to read. going look for that book now. Thanks

[Numbheart 80]

It's okay, no one is perfect. Just go on with life, do what you got to do. aside from books, podcasts helped me to.

[Arabesque 1,605]

Oh @BayougirlMrsS. I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this. Sometimes the world just keeps dumping crap on us & truthfully we can only carry so much before we have to drop something.

Forgive yourself for dropping the part that manages your weight loss. I know, you’ll pick it up again. You’re strong & determined. That’s why you lost the weight to begin with & why your family goes to you.

Find, even 30 minutes a day for you - I know easier said then done. Turn off your phone, shut the door. Spend it doing something you enjoy. Read some of the books Jake suggested. Go for a run, have a bubble bath, meditate.

May be find another therapist, one you can click with & feel comfortable with.

My mother has a saying: God only chooses special people to carry the cross of Jesus. I don’t know your faith, but I always think of this when my world is turning upside down. It gives me extra strength to get up & face tomorrow.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,673]

you guys are so awsome.... through out the years and all my ups and downs.... you guys have been here. This site has always been my secret comfort place. Yesterday was better.... until someone brought the devil in the office, cotton candy.... Hell's bells. But I did good not great, but good. Weight is still down that pound i lost over the weekend..... I call it my floating pound.

@JAKE H the book is on the way along with the Ego one.... I have a kindle, but i love feeling a book in my hands and smelling the pages.... Thanks for the suggestion

@Arabesque still looking for a therapist, counselor or "life coach"... except for the times i had evals for WLS i only had one session with a marriage counselor during my divorce. So i'm really not sure what to expect. Tim said i needed to give it time and that it won't happen in two visits.... I just hated the long silent pauses followed by.... And how does that make you feel?..... gezzz is that the only question you know..... Never mind the fact that she had a brand new bottle of Mt. Dew sitting on her desk and you all know i gave up the dew a year and a half ago.... Throughout the years... i could never give it up... it was my one vice.... and there it was... taunting me, on her desk, Water beads rolling down the bottle...... like a crake pipe to a crackhead.

Keep the thought coming... you all are my saving grace.

[CWeaver60 10]

Give yourself a hug and a huge amount of credit for being so self aware. Acknowledging that turning to food during a stressful time is wonderful. So many people stay stuck in bad behavior because they are unwilling to acknowledge it. Something that helps me and hopefully may help you is to remind myself that the ONLY person's behavior I can change is my own. I know you love your family and want the best for them but they have to do the work themselves. Your responsibility is to take care of you. There is a great book by Russel Brandt entitled Recovery that I am enjoying reading. Sending you much support and encouragement for continued strength on your journey.

[GradyCat 3,114]

Thanks for sharing. It helps to talk about it. We're here for you. Take care.