I’m scared. I honestly didn’t think that insurance would approve me. I had sleeve in 2017. I was at 275 and my lowest went down to 150. But then I had chronic unexplained migraines daily and I sought out food for comfort. I gained 50 pounds back. My sleeve is completely stretched. Somehow I miraculously was approved for revision to bypass. I still am in shock that insurance approved.

The thing is. I feel like a failure. I have bing eating disorder and even though I’m in therapy, it still consumes me. I am scared that I’ll fail at this second chance or that I’ll have complications.

You may need to get some counseling before surgery

I agree with Mikeyy - I'd look for a good therapist.

Getting a good therapist that specializes in eating disorders (best would be subspecialty BED/COE of course) is good advice. However, they usually don't fall down from heaven but have waiting lists of several months before you get your first appointment (if you can find a therapist like this at all in the area you're living in, that is).

So until you find that good therapist who specializes in BED/COE you might want to look into self-help books. Brain over Binge is a gem IMO but not everybody's cup of tea.

Yes I have had therapy weekly for years now.. but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I am more on the side of belief that I’m a good addict, so don’t know that Brain over Binge would work for me... I’ll keep exploring!

Well, it gives a different view on things. The author herself had years of therapy that didn't do zilch for her bingeing. She refers a lot to "Rational Recovery", a book that was written for people addicted to alcohol.

It made a big difference finding the right therapist. I have seen some very knowledgeable ED providers and appreciated their help. However, it wasn't until I found one that works through an embodied lens, that I felt I was making true progress. I needed to learn to feel and label emotions as well as feel safe in my body (I hope that makes sense). Good luck in your journey!