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A rave and a rant ... (I sure do miss eating)



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First, a rave. I'm about two months post-op and down almost 40 pounds. I started weight training at a new subscription gym called The Exercise Coach and love it. My weight loss is quite noticeable and I get plenty of compliments. I'm down two sizes. I like looking in the mirror again. I am being patient; I know this is a journey. While the stalls are annoying, I know that it's part of the process. I don't freak out if I go up a few pounds; I know that my body is fickle and still adjusting. I haven't vomited or gotten the "foamies." I had no complications from surgery. I poop regularly. I haven't had any Hair loss. Overall, I feel like everything is going exactly as it should.

Now, the rant. I really, really miss eating a full meal. The kind where you have a variety of foods on your plate. By the time I get all of my Protein in my new tiny tummy is too full for anything else. Sometimes I supplement with a Protein Drink or shake just so I can skip (or limit) the protein at my dinnertime meal and add a small amount of salad or veggies. I always thought I loved to cook, but now I realize that what I really loved was EATING what I cooked. I still cook for my husband, but it's become a chore instead of a joy. He will have a steak, potato and salad while I eat from a small plate containing only tuna, or salmon, or turkey, etc. He is a simple eater -- easy to please -- so I no longer get creative with meals because I don't get to enjoy the finished product. I used to plan meals in advance, shop for fresh ingredients, prepare them with precision, and present them beautifully.

I also really miss restaurants. My husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday this week, and all I really want is to go to a nice restaurant and order some fresh seafood and a glass of good wine. But I didn't propose this because I don't want to order a fabulous meal and only eat ⅛ of it, and not drink. I don't really miss drinking alcohol, but I do miss having a good glass of wine occasionally.

Thanks for listening. I feel like I can't share these feelings with my husband because this was my choice -- and this is my journey. I don't want him to think I have any regrets, because truly I don't.

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Go ahead and vent! Many of us have felt the same thing. Eventually, your tummy will relax enough that you can eat some of everything for dinner. You will probably end up getting picky - for instance, bread at the table no longer tempts me. I trade it happily for extra veggies (My personal fave, yours may be different.) I eat some meals with no Protein so that I can "pig out" (now a VERY relative term) on fruit and veggies. Then I'll hit up a Protein Shake later. You'll find a path that works for you but we understand that, in the beginning, it is very frustrating. It would be so nice to "turn off your wls" for just an hour or two, once a month - know what I mean? Hang in there - you've got a good handle on it!

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I still feel frustrated at times for the same reasons, and I'm nearly one year post surgery. This is certainly a continuous journey, that's for sure. Hang in there.

Sent from my SM-G935T using BariatricPal mobile app

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Rave and Rant away (we've all bern there)

You are very early post op so dont fret too much

This may change in a few months as *most* people's capacity changes over time.

Life will get back to a normal state eventually and you *may* then need to concentrate on how to minimize your intake yet maximize you satiety, so enjoy the ride and rapid weightloss 💜

Edited by GreenTealael

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13 hours ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

I trade it happily for extra veggies (My personal fave, yours may be different.) I eat some meals with no Protein so that I can "pig out" (now a VERY relative term) on fruit and veggies. Then I'll hit up a Protein Shake later. You'll find a path that works for you but we understand that, in the beginning, it is very frustrating. It would be so nice to "turn off your wls" for just an hour or two, once a month - know what I mean? Hang in there - you've got a good handle on it!

^^^^^This is huge! My RD gave me this advice when I was very early out. She told me that years later, she still has some patients who have a Protein Shake and get 25-30g of Protein in early in the day, so they can have more "mixed meals" or veggie only meals. Or veg/fruit only meals. And she felt like that helped give more balance.

I also agree with everyone here who mentioned that you are very early on in the process and so your restriction is really high. But over time, your tool will mature and will allow more food. You just need to be prepared for that so you make good choices when that happens.

Rants/raves/grieving is important!!! This is a safe place to do it! Congrats on your 40lb loss, the exercise plan which will tone and build strength and endurance--yay woman!!! And all of these things are gonna give you so much confidence.

I would suggest a mindset change tho. Shift and reframe the situation. Instead of ranting about the change, shift it and know this is a precious, fleeting, very short window-of-opportunity where your food limitations will give you the biggest bang for your wls buck! (ie lose the most weight for the least amount of effort). KISS. Keep it simple. I used to be a huge foodie. LOVED (still love) the whole shebang--process. Used to make elaborate meals. Used to entertain and plate things specially, etc. And now, we seriously grill or pan sautee a lean protein (often a few meals in advance and fridge it), then take 5-10 minutes to steam, pan sautee or roast a veg and have some avo/tom salad. LOL. That's almost every nightly meal (with a cheat meal thrown in every so often cuz I'm not an angel). And it works. B-L are no brainers and just about getting protein in and ending hunger.

When going out, share with hubs. Do an app and eat a bite or two. Do a fancy salad and eat a bite. Do a lush entree and eat a bite or two...and be done. Have an espresso with heavy cream for dessert! It makes it more fun!

If you want to get fancy pants at home, look up Gordon Ramsay on The YouTube and look at how he prepares "mains" and plates them up beautifully for home use. Do that! Pick a perfect protein. Make it like a chef and plate it with a baby fancy pants veg. Make it sparkle and look beautiful. Share the plate with hubs. No leftovers. Total satisfaction.

ORRRRRRR start reframing your relationship with food and balance that interest with new, active, non-food pursuits that involve your hubs...like nightly walks together and then come home to your KISS meal of protein + veg + healthy fat...or even more-bettah: play nekkidy twister with him, or strip monopoly. :) Good times!

You'll figure it out. Sorry for the book. But this hit home with me and this was the transition that really helped soothe me.

Edited by FluffyChix

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Yes. Rant away. Grieve by all means!

What we’ve done isn’t easy. We don’t get to take a day off. We will have diminished capacity for the rest of our lives whether or not it’s a holiday, birthday, anniversary, vacation, or other special event.

That being said, your cap will increase. You can get a fairly good variety in even with a 1 cup capacity, but you have to be careful.
I’m a firm believer in the fact that the first bite of anything is always the best.

EXAMPLE:
July 4th I attended a wedding with a BBQ buffet: I put brisket (minus any sauce), smoked chicken, Mac and cheese, coleslaw, and some corn casserole on my plate.
I literally rotated around the plate and each bite was a different thing. Because our table was pretty talkative, it took about 20-30 minutes for everyone to eat (by that time many of our group had gotten up to get seconds) and I’m pretty sure I made it around my plate 3 times.
I know it sounds weird, but I was very happy with all the different bites I was able to have of the different food that I didn’t normally allow myself. It was all delicious and I made sure that I drank my glass of wine BEFORE getting my meal.
Oh yeah and an hour later, I had bites off of 2 slices of different cakes. Nobody cared that I left 3/4 piece of wedding cake on my plate.

Why not go out and have a happy hour before your bday dinner so you can have your wine, sit for a bit, then have some dinner?
See if theres a way to order a sampler, or just order a couple of apps and make sure your husband orders something interesting and different so you can steal bites? My hubs loves me stealing bites from him because he knows it makes me happy to have the variety AND he gets to have bites off of my plate because I can’t finish mine.

Life is short, celebrate!

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