Relationship changes?

[Sealeafi 103]

Has anyone lost friends, relationships, family members because of the surgery? An acquaintance keeps telling me my friend base will change after the surgery... I’m so bothered by this, I have amazing friends and family that are so supportive.

[MIZ60 1,291]

All of my relationships have either improved (because I feel better physically and mentally) or stayed the same. I love my life and the people in it!!

[Healthy_life 1,437]

16 minutes ago, Sealeafi said:

Has anyone lost friends, relationships, family members because of the surgery? An acquaintance keeps telling me my friend base will change after the surgery... I’m so bothered by this, I have amazing friends and family that are so supportive.

Relationship changes are possible. But may not happen.

For me,

People that are supportive have stayed supportive in my life. Some friends are battling their own weight loss issues. They had a hard time seeing my success and the relationship changed. Others were never supportive and negative to begin with. I was happy to cut them from my life.

It's a strange phenomenon. We are still the same person with the same core values. The only changed is our size. It's interesting to sit back and notice how some people react to your body changing.

[Sealeafi 103]

@skinnylife. Thank you for sharing. I sure hope my sweet friends stay supportive.

[Redmaxx 740]

Many of my friends remain supportive. I had people that I thought were my friends say snide things to me. I really wouldn't worry about your friends, if it was meant to be it will. Those that I did lose really don't seem that important to me.

[arringtonc49 188]

Yes
I have not lost friends but I notice a change in how they act towards me.
Even my closes relatives.
I hear some negative things out of their mouths.
But I know what I had to do to change for my health. I don't care if they understand or not. I am happy with me. I feel like I am no longer in bondage to bad eating habits. I am do thankful and grateful I made a wise choice.

Sent from my Pixel 2 using BariatricPal mobile app

[CrankyMagpie 509]

I think if they're supportive now, you won't have so many problems.

The thing to be ready for, though, is that, after surgery, you will change. I mean, you'll still be you, but you'll be a more active version of yourself, right? Your habits will change. And that could affect your relationships.

Some YouTube doctor says that you can't lose as much weight as WLS causes us to lose and not be a different person. I'm a little hesitant to believe that's entirely true. Some people become more outgoing, but do all of us make that change? I have doubts. Some people gain more confidence and are willing to stand up for themselves in relationships where they previously didn't, but do all of us do that? I don't know. That seems far-fetched to me, but time will tell.

I can say, a month out, that the friends I trusted with the knowledge of my surgery have been very supportive. One pair I'd have trusted anyway, but I had extra assurance, because I know they stayed good friends with someone else who had it. The other pair was like "Cool, can we do anything for you?" and I was like "Do you like walks?" 😁 (And we went on an epic walk.) My spouse has been amazing every step of the way, so ... that was never a worry for me.

I'm fully expecting to have some difficult roads ahead of me, with some of my other acquaintances and at least one family member. Maybe they'll surprise me and be awesome, and we will grow closer. Maybe they'll react worse than I imagine, and we'll part ways. I'm not even that stressed about it, right now, because I'm so focused on trying to build the best me I can be, you know? And I'm giving the bulk of my social attention to the friends I knew I could trust, too.

[Hrsnjs 267]

Yes
I have not lost friends but I notice a change in how they act towards me.
Even my closes relatives.
I hear some negative things out of their mouths.
But I know what I had to do to change for my health. I don't care if they understand or not. I am happy with me. I feel like I am no longer in bondage to bad eating habits. I am do thankful and grateful I made a wise choice.

Sent from my Pixel 2 using BariatricPal mobile app

I totally agree with@crankymagpie. Your good, true friends will remain. There will always be catty people who judge, but they're not your important support circle, so try not to let it bother you. I'm only a couple of weeks post op but my close friend ships and marriage have not changed. I have heard the same thing as well.

Sent from my moto g(6) play using BariatricPal mobile app

[Swimmer 199]

It was a mixed bag for me and you will learn a lot about yourself and others in the process. I found people super supportive until I got smaller than them which was unexpected. People will have their own ideas and I was happiest with the people I didn't tell about surgery. I would have told only those I absolutely had to tell. The thing to remember is their thoughts and feelings are just that theirs. It's about how your situation makes them feel about themself. Try to remember that when they are reacting to your situation and it is easier to understand and accept. Cheers

[looly 361]

Yes, it can change your most significant relationship. My Other Half was a saucy scoundrel before - he's a complete sex pest now! 😲😉